Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
Jesse
I toss my phone aside and let my head fall back against Ford’s couch.
Every muscle in my body feels locked up, coiled too tight.
Poppy is asleep, out cold after our day together.
I tried to be present, to focus only on her, but the truth is I’m emotionally exhausted.
I spent the week at work being hyper-aware of Madeline’s every move, despite the fact that she tried desperately to avoid me.
She seemed dead set on giving me the cold shoulder when all I wanted to do was pull her into an empty boardroom, close the blinds, and have a repeat of last weekend.
And if that wasn’t stressful enough, I decided to top off the week by paying a visit to my dad last night.
He took another chunk out of me, the way he always does. The way I always let him.
The front door opens, and a moment later, Landyn and Ford appear. Landyn looks at me like she’s deciding whether to scold me or hug me. “You look like someone siphoned the will to live right out of you. Did you and Poppyseed get into that much trouble today?”
“My niece was an angel, as always,” I tell her, pasting a grin on my face. “We made grilled cheese, played with the dog in the backyard, and now she’s sleeping. How was your day?”
Ford drops onto the arm chair across from me with a groan, stretching his legs out, taking up way too much space because he’s incapable of sitting like a normal human.
“Good, thanks,” Landyn says, smiling. “Thanks for watching her for us, Jess. Poppy was so excited to hang out with you. When I told her you’d be baby-sitting today she practically pushed us out the door.”
My brother pats his knee, and the look he gives Landyn is pure adoration.
I feel the same way about her—without wanting to have sex with her.
Landyn is a force in the boardroom, but she’s also thoughtful and caring and she listens to people in a way most people don’t.
She’s become someone I can confide in, and that means a lot.
Ford lets out a low growl, catches her wrist, and hauls her straight into his lap. She laughs as she settles against him, draping an arm around my brother’s neck before turning her attention back to me.
“So, Jesse,” she says, head cocked to one side as she assesses me.
“Yes, Landyn,” I answer, suspicion in my voice. “What do you have up your sleeve?”
Her smile widens. “Oh nothing,” she says. “I just wanted to tell you that we are planning the first ever Cove staff party.”
“At our house,” Ford adds.
“Okay,” I say. “So, you’re inviting me to my own company party?”
“Exactly. Ford wanted to host it at the golf club but it’s under renovation, so we’re going to do it here.”
“She volunteered the house without asking,” Ford adds.
Landyn beams at him. “I knew you’d say yes.”
“I always do,” he sighs. And he’s right. He may complain sometimes, but it’s half-hearted. In the end, we all know he will happily let Landyn have her way. That’s Ford.
I tilt my head. “Who’s coming?”
“You know.” She waves her hand. “The team from the office plus a few board members. Why? Is there someone you want me to invite? A crush? The new girl at the office, maybe?”
I choke on nothing and Landyn gasps. “Oh my God! Jesse Winters, are you and Madeline a thing?”
I groan. “Landyn, we are not talking about this. Especially in front of him.” I gesture to my brother, who is whispering something into Landyn’s ear. Judging from the look on his face, it’s something unspeakably dirty. That is my cue to head home.
“Okay,” I say, pushing up from the couch. “I’m heading home before you two start playing tonsil hockey. And before Poppy wakes up and witnesses whatever that whisper was.”
I head for the door, smacking Ford’s leg as I pass.
“Don’t forget about the party, Jesse,” Landyn calls after me, sounding a little too excited about it.
“This is going to be way more fun than I expected! And it’ll be good for you, Jesse.
You can relax a little, let Madeline see the real you outside the office.
A few drinks, a different setting. Who knows what could happen? ”
I stop with my hand on the doorknob and glance back at her. “There is no ‘real me,’” I shoot back. “I’m just always a good time.”
I pull the door shut behind me, but not before I hear Ford laugh as he tells Landyn, “He’s terrified.”
He’s not wrong. But if this party could bring Madeline back into my orbit, I’ll be there.
Two weeks later, I stand off to the side of Ford and Landyn’s living room, nursing a drink and watching Cove’s first annual staff party unfold around me like something out of a lifestyle magazine spread.
Caterers weave through the space with trays of miniature crab cakes and sliders.
Soft music hums beneath the chatter of the fifty or so Cove staff who are here.
Ford and Landyn really went all out. I’m not surprised.
We’re also toasting to their engagement tonight because last night, in their backyard with Poppy by his side, Ford asked Landyn to marry him.
Their engagement might have happened fast, but ever since they found their way back to each other, they seem to be moving like two people who have wasted enough time.
They’re determined to celebrate everything, including Sunday dinners they insist Noah, Wes, and I attend.
It’s like the moment they got back together, they both figured out how to live again, and now they’re making sure they don’t waste a single second of it.
My eyes land on Poppy—tiny, wild-haired, unstoppable Poppy—twirling in the middle of the room in a flouncy party dress covered in gold stars.
She spins like she’s at her dance recital, and she steals the spotlight here just like she did on the stage that day.
I clapped louder than anyone in the place, making sure she heard me over Wes and Noah.
Landyn appears, wrapping her arms around her daughter and planting a quick kiss to her cheek as Poppy squirms out of her reach giggling.
Watching the two of them, it’s hard not to think about my own childhood.
Before our mom got sick, my memories are great—birthday banners that Mom hand-painted, pancakes shaped like animals, the four of us boys racing through the backyard while she filmed it all like we were the stars of our own movie.
After she died…everything dimmed.
Ford tried, but he was only a teenager, and his idea of cooking was Kraft Dinner if we had it and boiled hot dogs if we didn’t. But it wasn’t the home-cooked meals I missed; it was the way Mom’s warmth could fill an entire room. When she left us, her absence left a gaping hole.
We grew up fast, so watching Poppy dance in a house full of light, a house full of people who actually want to be here, hits me hard. This is what a childhood should look like. This is the version we didn’t get.
I watch Ford catch sight of Poppy and Landyn and smile in that quiet way he does when he lets his guard down. My brother is marrying the girl who has always owned his heart.
I’m pulled from my thoughts when I hear a squeal of laughter come from across the room, where Madeline is tucked into the corner with Becca and Marco.
They’re all laughing but she’s the only one I hear.
She seems more relaxed today than she has been for the past couple of weeks. Like she’s less guarded.
As if on cue, she turns her head and our eyes meet. She doesn’t immediately look away, which I take to be a good sign. A few seconds later, I’m weaving my way through the crowd and she’s doing the same. We meet in the middle of the room.
“Hi,” she says quietly.
“Hey,” I murmur. “I’ve been looking for you, Mads.”
Her lips lift. “Yeah? I’ve been looking for you too.”
Before I can say anything else, a tiny force of nature barrels right into me.
“Uncle Jess!” Poppy shrieks, wrapping her little arms around my legs. She giggles as I scoop her up onto my hip and she settles there like she always does. “Hi, Poppy-girl.” I press a kiss to her temple.
“This is Poppy,” I say to Madeline. “She’s my best buddy. Poppy, this is my friend, Madeline.”
Poppy leans her whole body into me. “Uncle Jess is my favorite,” she declares loudly, with no hesitation or filter.
“Is that so? Well, it’s very nice to meet you.” Madeline smiles as she watches Poppy bounce on my hip.
Just then Landyn appears, laughing when she sees the way Poppy has her arms wrapped around my neck. “I see she found you,” she says. “And Poppy, did you meet Madeline?”
The little girl nods enthusiastically, curls bouncing around her face.
“Yes, we were just introduced,” Mads says with a smile. “She looks so much like you, Landyn, but I see Ford in her too.”
Landyn practically glows at that. “She has a little bit of me, but she’s mostly her daddy. She has his dimples, his stubborn streak, his nonstop energy. She’s like a tiny Ford in a party dress. Pray for me.”
Madeline laughs, and Landyn’s expression softens even more.
Typically, this would be enough to make me take off running, watching a woman I’ve just been intimate with hanging out with my family.
But instead of feeling caged in by it, everything in my body feels lighter.
It’s like the noise in my head dials down long enough for me to breathe.
This is new for me. I don’t quite know what to do with it, but I like it.
“Lan, baby. Emergency!” Ford’s voice calls out from across the living room. Landyn’s eyes go wide. “Oh God, I bet you it’s the dog. Come on, Poppyseed, let’s see what the dog has done now.”
She gives Madeline’s arm a gentle squeeze as I set Poppy down. She hurries to the back yard with Landyn in tow.
The string lights glow above the long table on the patio, lanterns flicker from the trees that border the yard. The caterers have cleared the empty plates and refilled our glasses. Music wafts onto the patio from inside the house and Poppy bounces up and down in her seat to the beat.