38. Rosie
38
ROSIE
We pull in only moments before my parents and are still piling out when my mom hops out of their vehicle, vibrating with excited energy.
Her behavior instantly has me worrying about what we might find inside. I say a silent prayer that it’s not a party and just the dinner she promised us.
“Mom,” I warn in a stern tone. “What did you do?”
“Nothing,” she says in a voice that very much means something.
I turn a worried look in Daire’s direction as he’s getting Sammy out of the car. He gives me a confused frown in response.
He’s known my mom his entire life, yet I swear he forgets how she is.
Shoulders slumped, I pull my keys from my purse and head for the door. I might as well get it over with. Whatever waits inside isn’t gonna go away.
Once I’ve gotten the door unlocked, I step inside and pull it open farther to let Daire in after me. Rather than being hit with a loud Surprise! the only thing that assaults me is the smell of a home-cooked meal. Instantly the delicious scent makes my stomach rumble, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since this morning, and all I had then was a little bowl of fruit.
I figured my mom would have this meal catered, but I assumed we’d eat later. I have to say that I’m glad that it’s now. My stomach rumbles again in agreement.
In the dining room, I find a lavish setup. Plates that certainly aren’t ours adorn the table. They look expensive and possibly antique. Every place setting is affixed with a small bouquet, the fragrances of which can just barely be detected over the herbs and spices permeating the air.
My mom steps up beside me, eyeing me cautiously. What do you think?” she asks, her expression uncertain, like she’s worried I might hate this. But it’s perfect, and I’m glad she listened to my request. A dinner party is more intimate.
“This looks amazing. Thank you, Mom.” I wrap her in a hug. “Thanks, Dad,” I add, though I don’t reach out to him. Our relationship is going to take a lot of work.
“You’re welcome.” There’s a sadness in his eyes, a longing for what we used to have. In the past, my reaction toward him would’ve been more enthusiastic, but he doesn’t comment or force an interaction.
“This looks great, guys,” Daire says, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Thank you for doing all this.”
“Should I let Bertie know we’re having dinner earlier than we thought?”
My mom shakes her head. “No, I let her know. Go wash up. The meal will be served when we’re ready.”
Relief washes through me. I could use a moment to freshen up. I’m pretty sure there’s an inch of sweat dried onto my skin from sitting in the sun for hours in the heavy gown.
Grace pops up behind me, poking her head around my arm. “Those plates are so ugly. Did you pick those out, Mom?”
My mom sighs, throwing her arms out. “I swear, God sent me you to keep me humble.”
Grace giggles in my ear. “You’re welcome.”
Chuckling, Daire bounces Sammy lightly in his arms. “I’m going to go change this one.”
“I’m going to go change myself.” I motion to my dress, thankful I chose black so the dried sweat isn’t visible. I fully plan on hopping in the shower, even if it’s only for five minutes.
Upstairs, we part ways when he turns into the nursery. In our bathroom, I turn the shower on and then scour my closet for a change of clothes. I settle on a simple green sundress. It probably won’t be dressy enough for my mom’s tastes, but I’m in my own home, I’m tired, and I want to be comfy more than anything else.
I hop in the shower and scrub my body quickly. I don’t have time to linger like I want to, so I hop out and dry off quickly, then try to tame my hair into something that looks intentional.
Daire steps into the bathroom and sets Sammy on the floor. “You showered?”
“I had to. I thought I was going to sweat to death out there.”
With a chuckle, he reaches in to turn the shower back on. “Same. It was hot as…” He looks at Sammy. “Heck.”
After he’s showered and changed as well, we venture back downstairs. Bertie has arrived, with Luke in tow, and my mom is fawning all over her. I’m happy to see it. Her parents didn’t take the news of her pregnancy well, and it put a damper on the day for her.
Once we’re all settled at the table, the catering team my mom hired serves us.
“This is incredible, Mom. Thank you for organizing all this.”
She beams at the praise. “I’m glad you like it.”
While we’re eating, the topic of conversation turns from the ceremony to Sammy and custody.
“Everything will be settled in a few days,” Daire says. He reaches for my hand beneath the table. “We’ll go to the courthouse, and it’ll be taken care of.”
“That soon?” my mom asks, turning to me with a frown. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
I shrug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was that important to you.”
She presses a hand to her heart. “Of course it’s important. Sammy is your boy.”
Those words instantly have a lump forming in my throat. I’m not his mom, and I never want to replace her, but I feel like his and he feels like mine in all the ways that matter.
This morning, she cooed over what a sweet boy he is and refused to give him up. The relief I felt as I watched the interaction was instant and acute. I don’t need my parents to accept everything I do with my life, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting them to understand and love the people I care about, and that includes Sammy.
She turns to my father. “We’re staying.”
He looks from her to me and gives a simple “okay.”
Daire’s father pipes in. “I’ll stay too.”
Roman throws his hands up. “What am I, chopped liver? I’m staying.”
Daire and I exchange a look. He looks as surprised as I feel. Neither of us expected this to matter to our families so much.
“All right,” he says, squeezing my hand. “We appreciate it.”
“Do you wanna go?” Luke asks Bertie.
“Only if you two are okay with us being there,” she says, giving me a small smile.
“We’d be happy to have you guys there.”
It warms my heart to know that our family and friends care so much about us and Sammy that they want to be there when he officially becomes ours. I suppose we should have expected that, but it never crossed our minds that they’d be interested in witnessing the moment.
With the chaos of the past eight months or so, it’s been easy to forget how much our families do care about us.
We don’t have to do everything alone.
We’re surrounded by love.
I smile at Daire, and in response, he leans in and presses a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth.
The look on his face echoes my thoughts. Life isn’t perfect, and it never will be, but we’ve been pretty lucky.
I’ve changed my dress three times.
I shouldn’t be so nervous. This day isn’t about me. This moment will be between Daire and the court. I can formally adopt Sammy in the future, but I’ll only do that when he’s older and if he requests it. I don’t want to take the choice away from him.
“Rosie.” Daire’s voice is tight with stress. “We have to go.”
I turn to find him at the doorway of the closet. He looks good enough to lick in his dress shirt and dress pants. His tie is askew, thanks to Sammy, who keeps tugging on it.
“I’m sorry.” I smooth down the dress. It’s a simple black number, nothing flashy. I’m worried I look too much like a politician’s wife in it, but it’s too late now to try a fourth dress.
“Everyone is waiting on us.”
“Crap. I’m sorry,” I apologize again, scouring the floor for a pair of heels.
“Rosie,” he warns.
“I need shoes.” I clutch his arm as I slip one shoe on, then the other. When they’re on, I smooth my hair down and nod. “All right, I’m ready.”
“Mama.” Sammy reaches for me, and I take him, settling him on my hip.
I follow Daire downstairs and out to the car. As we approach the van, he takes Sammy to strap him into his seat. It’s just us, since his dad and Roman are riding with my family. They decided that the three of us should have this time alone in the car before and after.
It’s been good, having them all here, especially as they’ve all had more time to come to terms with our decision to get married. It’s also given them time to bond with Sammy.
Daire is silent on the drive to the courthouse. His body taut with nerves. It hurts that I can’t take the stress away, but I’m resigned to the understanding that he won’t feel better until all this is over.
He turns the radio off, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel while he waits for the light to change so he can turn into the parking garage.
With a steadying breath, I put my hand on his knee, offering my silent support.
After we get into the garage and park, he puts Sammy in the stroller, and I grab the diaper bag.
The wait for the elevator is achingly long, which leads to Daire pushing the button in rapid succession like somehow that will make it appear faster.
As he’s reaching to jab it again, I grab his hand.
“You poking it like that isn’t going to make it appear.”
“Maybe not, but it makes me feel better.”
With a small smile and a shake of my head, I pull out my phone. I send a text to my mom, letting her know that we’re in the garage waiting for the elevator. She replies quickly, informing us that they’re all waiting in the lobby of the courthouse.
Finally, the doors open, and we get on. As we ride, Sammy giggles at his reflection in the shiny silver doors. “Hi.” He waves.
Daire grins, looking more relaxed than I’ve seen him all day. “He’s so smart.”
I can’t help but smile. Daire is the definition of a proud papa bear.
When the doors open onto the ground level, we walk out into the sunshine and stop at the curb, waiting to cross the street.
I reach for Daire’s hand, finding it clammy with sweat.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, cheeks flushing. “My nerves are getting to me.”
“It’s okay.” I give his hand a squeeze.
We cross the street and enter the courthouse lobby, where we find our friends and family waiting for us, including Daire’s best friend, Cree, and his girlfriend, Ophelia. Beside me, Daire sucks in a surprised breath at the sight of them but quickly recovers.
Nina Voss waves us over and pulls Daire aside, no doubt running through what he should expect.
I’ve been okay so far, but suddenly, I find my pulse racing.
And in the next instant, I swear my heart falls out of my chest. Because an older couple I recognize from the funeral step inside the courthouse doors. Danielle’s parents.
Daire must see them the same moment I do because he blurts at Nina, “What are they doing here?”
For an instant, worry flashes across her normally composed face, but she quickly schools her expression. “I’m not sure,” she admits.
Daire lifts a shaky hand and runs his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated. “If they try anything?—”
“There’s nothing they can do at this point,” she assures him. “This hearing is a formality. Take a breath. It’s almost our time.” With that, she turns and heads toward a man I don’t recognize.
“Rosie,” Daire whispers, his eyes swimming with terror. “If they?—”
I grab his wrist and give it a gentle squeeze. “You heard Nina. They can’t do anything. Breathe.”
He rubs a hand over his jaw. “Should I go talk to them?”
“No,” I insist, tugging him back when he takes a step in their direction. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. They seemed kind enough at the funeral.” At least in our brief interaction. “Just focus on getting through this, and don’t worry about them. Okay?”
“Okay,” he agrees reluctantly.
Ten minutes later, Nina comes to get us, and our family and friends follow behind us. I assume Danielle’s parents are back there somewhere as well.
The courtroom is identical to the one we got married in, which brings me some level of comfort. I’m not sure Daire feels the same.
As we settle, Nina guides me to the bench where our family is sitting. It kills me to do it, but I have to sit back here while Daire and Sammy stand before the judge.
My mom grips my hand on my lap, her touch warm and reassuring.
I don’t hear a fucking word the judge says as it starts. It’s like I’m here, but not, a total out-of-body experience.
My heart is racing so fast it pounds in my ears and my vision blurs.
“Breathe,” my mom whispers. “You’re going to pass out if you don’t.”
She’s right. With a thick swallow, I let out my breath slowly and focus on getting a handle on myself.
The judge speaks, and Daire replies, but the roaring my ears is still too loud for me to make out their words. Despite my confidence until this point that everything would be fine, I find myself panicking in these final moments.
But in a matter of a few blinks, it’s over and Daire is making his way to me, wearing a gigantic smile, with Sammy held firmly in his arms.
“He’s mine,” he says when he reaches me. “He’s ours. Finally.”
I take his face in my hands and kiss him with every ounce of relief I feel. “We did it.”