Chapter Eleven Nightmare in Reverse
?
The forest was dark and misty. Not a warm dark, typical of a Virginia summer — a cold, biting, horrible dark, in which tree branches loom, and every little sound makes your heart run like a rabbit from a fox.
The shaggy-haired man strode through the woods as though this didn’t affect him. He was wearing a tattered shirt and pants, no shoes. Brie couldn’t see his face. She kept trying to turn and run the other way, but her body followed him like a balloon tied to his belt loop, pulled against her will, tethered by an unseen force.
Where are we going?
She became aware of movement skittering around them in the woods. She couldn’t scream, couldn’t struggle. She could only float, watch, and be pulled wherever the man took her.
They reached a clearing in the trees. In the middle stood a black goat with stained, silver horns which gleamed menacingly in the moonlight. Brie shuddered to think how they came to be stained.
“Is this it?” the man asked.
“This is the place.” The goat seemed to speak inside her mind, purring the words in a low, skin-crawling voice.
Brie tried again to free herself or even move, but to no avail. When the goat turned and led them to a road, she suddenly realized where they were and struggled even harder.
But she was paralyzed.
The man knelt and placed his hand on the ground, pulling in a deep breath.
Suddenly, the sun was rising from the west.
Then it was noon. Then morning. Cars zipped past them in reverse. Birds flew backward through the sky. An eagle released a squirrel into a tree, and all its blood flowed back into its veins.
Back and back, the sun went, further and further, for three days, until it was Brie’s car on the road. Brie’s car, completely whole and standing next to Cameron, right before it was ripped apart into a million pieces and left in the road as he disappeared with a flash.
The man rewound time and played this scene several times before going back even further. Cameron walked backward from the horizon, holding her in his arms, and placed her on the ground before putting her backpack near the flaming wreckage. The explosion was an implosion. The car roof stabilized. They spoke for a moment. She pulled a punch out of his face.
The blonde man chuckled hard at that, re-watching it several times before moving on.
Cameron placed her upside-down in her car.
Then he was walking backward through a sea of shadowy monsters, balls of light streaking from their chests into his hand before he disappeared entirely, and the monsters all stood up and flew backward into her car, seemingly repairing it as they went. One put the ripped-up trunk back on its hinge and flew in reverse into nothingness as the others followed suit.
Finally, her car was whole, intact, and driving backward. That’s when it happened. Like a crack in the universe itself, a light suddenly obliterated everything else from view. It flashed for a second and was gone.
The shaggy-haired man rewound and watched this scene so many times Brie’s eyes burned, and colors flashed across her retinas as though she’d stared too long at the sun.
The goat walked right past her and stood next to the man. “We have a problem.”
“I can see that.” The man seemed to pause, then took in a heavy breath. “I need to speak with my father.”
The goat nodded. “It will be arranged.”
The skittering noises in the woods grew louder and louder. Brie struggled harder and harder to get away as dozens of giant spiders with faces like men poured out of the tree line and swarmed around the goat. She sucked in a breath, trying to scream.
The goat turned slightly. “We are observed.”
Just as the man was about to turn around, Brie woke up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating and screaming for Cameron.
? ? ?
It was four in the morning. The horror of her nightmare had wholly erased all the freedom and fun of the previous evening’s escapades. There was mascara smeared under her eyes, her hair was disheveled, and she had a generally hollow look about her like she hadn’t slept in days.
Cameron kept making her tea. None of the cups he brought her tasted remotely like tea. They all tasted like fruits, flowers, or medicines. This one to calm her nerves, that one for a sense of well-being, another for her headache. He’d even prepared a brew made of some of his fabled basil root for her blood pressure.
She drank whatever he put in front of her. She didn’t care anymore.
I am being hunted. And whoever it is, is on the right track.
The knowledge turned in her mind over and over again.
The only weapon in her entire arsenal was what? Invisibility? How would that help her when the forces tracking her down found out who she was in waking life? How would that help her when they knew her address? When they knew the names of her friends and family?
She didn’t think that giant anthropomorphic spiders and an evil black goat would be above using her loved ones against her. Let alone an evil blonde man who could apparently bend time.
The people she loved weren’t safe because of her. No. Not because of her. Because of it .
She looked down at the pendant with pure, seething resentment, feeling the familiar weight of it against her chest. A second later, she plucked up the teardrop between her fingers, twisting it this way and that, looking at the strange reflections within the gold casing.
I never asked for this.
Cameron placed another steaming mug of boiled roots and leaves in front of her, but this time, she pushed it away.
“It’s for your—”
“I can’t, Cameron.”
He nodded and moved to take the cup away.
“No,” she grabbed his arm and looked desperately into his eyes. “I mean, I can’t .”
He regarded her for a moment, then sat back down.
“I can’t do this. I’m not this person.” She shook her head slowly, building up steam. “I’m not cut out for adventure, and danger, and magical freaking necklaces. I can’t do it. Whatever these people want from me, if I just let them have it, maybe they’ll leave me alone.”
Cameron was silent.
“If I just take off the pendant and let them find me—”
“You can’t do that, Brianna.”
“But what if I—”
“They will kill you immediately and take it for themselves,” he interrupted shortly, leaving no room for interpretation. “The darkness is merciless, Brianna. It does not know any light. It knows no grace, no love, no joy, no hope. It knows only fear and despair.”
“But maybe if—”
“They will kill you exactly like they killed your mother.”
She stared at him, shocked. The image of a shadowy beast with its claws inside her mother’s chest flooded her mind for a moment, and she lost all ability to respond.
“I’m sorry to put it so bluntly,” he murmured, bowing his head. “Cruelly, even. But you need to know what you’re up against.” He sighed and brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing the faint crease between his eyes. “This is my fault. Unpacking boxes and going out to dinner… I should have immediately gone to ask our wise ones about your predicament. But I’m afraid to leave you alone.”
She slammed her hands on the table, startling him. “How am I supposed to live like that? Babysat by a divine bodyguard my entire life? Hunted by monsters? Me and all my loved ones under the gun? Why? For what? What did I ever do to deserve this? What did my mother ever do to deserve this? Am I cursed? What did I do?”
Unable to hold it in anymore, she leaped from the table and started pacing. It was probably when a normal person would burst into tears. Her body wanted to, was dying to, but she couldn’t.
She never could.
“What did you mean, you were already there?”
Cameron pushed slowly to his feet. “I’m sorry?”
She stopped her manic pacing, staring from the middle of the floor.
“In the woods,” she said sharply. “I’d be dead if you hadn’t shown up, and this would have already been decided. You said the demons couldn’t track me.”
“They can’t—”
“But they are. They’re hunting me, Cameron. They were swarming all over the exact place they had attacked me before. They could be on their way here right now for all we know.” She took a step towards him. “You said you only found me because you were already there.” She stepped closer, her voice dangerously low. “Why were you already there, Cameron?”
He sucked in a breath. “I was just…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Brianna, there are things I can’t—”
“Answer me,” she shouted. “I’m tired of being kept in the dark!”
He stared in helpless silence.
“Answer me, or I’m taking this off.” She gripped her pendant in her fist, raising it threateningly. “No more games, no more deflections. I’ll throw it right down on the floor.”
“Brianna!”
“Tell me, Cameron.”
“I was already there because I was always there!”
She stopped cold. “What does that mean?”
He sank back to the table in defeat, letting his face drop into his hands. For a few seconds, she didn’t think he would answer. Then, he let out a quiet breath.
“I’ve been checking on you every night since we first met,” he said miserably. “Every single night for the past five years. I’ve been there.”
A ringing silence fell between them, punctuated only by the steady ticking from the clock on the wall.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” he murmured, staring unblinkingly at the floor. “You’d just lost your mother, and you were so alone, and I couldn’t see your life. I couldn’t see your energy, couldn’t find you if I lost you. So, if I ever left, I wouldn’t know if you were okay.”
A minute passed. Then another.
“You were with me?” she repeated, unable to process it.
He nodded, hanging his head like the world was coming to an end.
“It wasn’t allowed, of course,” he continued quietly, “and of course, you weren’t supposed to see me, which you can for reasons I still don’t understand… so, I could only linger at night. But sometimes, I managed to check on you during the day as well.”
A single word stood out above the rest.
“It wasn’t allowed ?” she asked.
He shook his head. “We aren’t supposed to interact with humans except to ease their suffering at the end. If my father knew what I’ve been doing…” His face tightened before crumbling in remorse. “Though I suppose he’ll have to find out.”
He pulled in another breath, forcing himself to meet her gaze. “The light you shone has left an imprint on everything around it. An imprint that my kind can see. Any one of my kind, or any darker being for that matter, could have found the place where you took off your necklace. They would simply have to follow the traces to the epicenter — like finding a meteor in the center of its crater. But they can’t see you, Brianna. They can’t track you. I can’t track you. If you were ever lost to me… I’m afraid you would be lost forever.”
He opened his mouth to continue before letting out a tired sigh. “The other night, you weren’t in your apartment, and all your things were gone. I was frantic to find you. Thank goodness you were at your father’s. I heard you talking, heard that you were moving away. I knew I had to come with you, or I might not be able to find you again, and if any harm were to befall you, I might be too late.” He stared at the table. “I took on another form and came with you. I invaded your space. I invaded your privacy. I hid. I skulked in the shadows like a common criminal. And if it is any consolation, I doubt I will ever forgive myself.”
His face twisted in pain as he looked at her once again. “Brianna… I am so very sorry. I can’t even imagine what you must be thinking.”
That’s kind of a mystery to me as well.
She slowly shook her head. “Let me get this straight. While I was coming apart at the seams, while my father abandoned me for the bottle, while I went through hours and days and weeks and years of therapy, while I held myself together with nothing but my own arms…”
He bowed his head in shame. “Brianna, I—”
“You came to check on me every night, in defiance of the laws of your people, to make sure I was alright? Every night? For five years?”
He lifted his eyes uncertainly. “Yes.”
“And you transformed, stowed away in my car just to stay with me? To protect me when I moved away? That’s why you were in the woods? That’s why you were there in time to save me?”
He nodded silently, beyond feelings language could express.
She was quiet for a moment. “Show me.”
“What?”
“Show me. Show me how you transform.”
He hesitated a moment, then looked at her face. Their eyes locked as he took a deep breath and started to glow, just as he had that morning in the motel, the morning she looked for his wings. As though he was lit from within by a miniature sun, he grew brighter and brighter, almost painfully bright, almost burning her eyes. At last, the Cameron she knew disappeared, and a translucent, golden-haloed orb, no bigger than the palm of her hand, floated into the air before her.
The world tilted suddenly, and she realized she’d forgotten to breathe. The orb floated closer, coming to a stop inches from her face. She lifted a hand to touch it — to touch him.
She was afraid he wouldn’t let her. But, of course, he did.
The second the tips of her fingers grazed that light, she was immediately flooded with a sense of relief, well-being, and warmth. She moved to touch him with her other hand, but he floated gently backward, and in a golden flash, Cameron stood before her once again.
They stood in silence for what felt like a very long time.
“Every night?” she finally murmured. “For five years?”
“Yes,” he whispered, like a man awaiting a judge’s sentence.
Her throat was so choked up she could barely speak. Her body was thrumming with such uncontainable emotion it felt as though she might explode. Finally, she lifted her eyes to meet his. “Thank you.”
His lips parted with a silent breath before curving into an expression of radiant relief. “You’re welcome.”
? ? ?
Fifteen minutes later, Brie and Cameron were sitting quietly with their backs against her bookshelves. This time it wasn’t an agonized, frantic silence in which she stood convinced that a dark army was going to hunt her down and annihilate her family and friends. This was a hush of relief, a respite from all the high tension and emotion of the past hour.
They sipped their tea.
When the stillness finally broke, it was with the unlikeliest of questions. “Do you have any idea why I was trapped in my bathtub on my last night in my apartment?”
He shot her a confused look. “You were what?”
“Trapped in my bathtub. I was under the water. I took the pendant off, just for a moment, and I got trapped inside the water until I put it back on.” Cameron stared at her, shocked, as she went on. “Why couldn’t you and… and all of the other creatures see my light when I took it off that time?”
A look of sudden comprehension dawned across his features, followed by a deep blush. “After what happened with your mother, I put certain measures in place to try to protect you, at least when you were at home. When you moved to your apartment, I did the same thing.”
Brie frowned. “What sort of measures?”
Cameron sighed and raked his hand back through his hair. “Anything I could think of, so long as it wouldn’t be noticed. Runes of protection around the perimeter. A blessing over every doorway and window. And… I may have gotten someone to bless all your water pipes.”
“Excuse me?”
“I got someone to bless your water pipes. You’ve been drinking and bathing in holy water for the past five years. Your dad, too. That’s probably what protected you in the bathtub. You were completely submerged in holy water, and it wouldn’t let the darkness see your light.”
She leaned back against the bookshelves, processing. “I suppose that’s why the roses grew so well even though we never took care of them. Who did you get to bless the pipes?”
He sighed and looked at the floor. “Saint Peter.”
“Ah.”
They were quiet a moment longer before Brie decided to change the subject as fast as possible.
“Do you have a man-date to play sports this Sunday?”
He looked at her in surprise. “I do. I wasn’t sure you were coherent enough to register that as we were leaving. You were a little intoxicated.”
She gave a rueful grin. “I was pretty tipsy. But I remember.”
“Mike asked if I wanted to join him and his friends. If it’s a problem, I don’t need to go—”
“It isn’t a problem.”
The two of them sat there a while longer, listening to the wind stir the branches outside before Brie looked down and traced the lines of the marble with her finger.
“You know,” she began cautiously, “I wasn’t the only one drinking last night.”
He threw her a quick glance but didn’t reply.
“Do you remember…?” She trailed off, wondering how to finish that sentence, wondering if she even wanted to finish that sentence. “There was this moment at the end when—”
He pushed suddenly to his feet. “The end of the night is actually kind of a blur,” he said shortly, taking great pains to avoid her eyes. “Must have been the beer. Mike was right. I’d never tried it.”
She went rigid as a statue, feeling like she’d been stung.
All those “restful vibes” flew right out the window. Her cheeks flamed, and that feeling of serenity vanished on the spot. She was still sitting there when he offered down a hand.
“Yeah,” she stammered as she stood, unable to look at him, “it’s a blur.”
They threw each other a quick look, then both spoke at once.
“Well, I should really—”
“I suppose you should get some—”
“Sleep, yes.” She nodded much too fast.
“Yes, exactly. I mean, you have work in the morning.” His nods were no better.
“Right, so I’ll just—”
“Yes, of course, you should.”
Feeling abruptly ridiculous, both of them turned in perfect unison and headed in opposite directions. That might have been the end of it. She was perfectly content to either pretend it never happened or simply set herself on fire — however the mood struck.
But she found herself pausing at the base of the stairs, throwing a glance over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Cameron.”
He answered without turning, still staring at the wall. “Goodnight, Brianna.”
She didn’t see the way his eyes snapped shut the second she walked away. She didn’t see the way he pressed his fists to his eyes and screamed a silent profanity at the wall.
She never saw. He always made sure of that.