Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
THEO
Theo: I can’t make our walk this morning and it has nothing to do with last night, so please don’t think that.
If I could, I’d like to repeat last night, but I understand if you need distance.
But just to reiterate, my absence this morning has nothing to do with the dry-wet humping that occurred against the brick of my house.
I slip my phone in my pocket and make my way to the back entrance of Renley’s store.
The streets are still wet from the night before, the rain having poured until the early hours of the morning, leaving a dewy fog to lift off the ground.
It’s quiet, the tourists aren’t out yet, and it feels peaceful.
If this is what it’s like during the offseason, I can see the appeal of living here—besides the bitchy business owners apparently.
As I unlock the back door to the candy shop, Rupert asks with a yawn, “Why did I have to come? When I mentioned we needed more bro time, this is not what I was referring to.”
“You and the bro time. Jesus, mate.”
“Sorry that I want to spend more time with you.”
I just roll my eyes. “I asked you here so you could get me in with Kitty’s key.”
“Couldn’t you have just taken it and then returned it later?”
“Yes, but then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to talk to you,” I say as I open the door and let us both in before closing it and locking it up for good measure.
I take the tray of drinks that we picked up on the way here from Rupert—we both went with tea—while Rupert carries the baked goods (we got a variety) and we head to the bar.
“Why do you need to talk to me? Am I in trouble?”
“Should you be in trouble?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I don’t believe so. I’ve been a good little boy.” He smirks.
“Have you though? You’re attempting to make an older lady an influencer.”
“Influencing is for all ages. Do not discriminate. Also, she’s not old. In twenty years, you’ll be just as old as her. So you better watch what you say because your time is right around the corner.”
“Has she said anything about Renley?”
“What do you mean?”
I pull the pastries out and place them on the bar. We got a cinnamon roll, an almond croissant, and a pistachio-flavored cronut.
“I mean, has she suggested that Renley’s tense?”
“She hasn’t said anything. Then again, she’s been pretty focused on the training, and then yesterday, she pulled her glute muscle making a jump, so she was focused on nursing that.”
I take the lid off my tea, letting it cool while it steeps. “I think she’s supposed to be helping Renley and she’s not. I don’t know much because Renley won’t talk about it and I won’t press, but that’s the impression I got yesterday. Just didn’t know if they were fighting or anything.”
Rupert shakes his head. “Not that I’m aware. Then again, if they were, do you think it would be our place to say something?”
“I guess not,” I say, taking a piece of the almond croissant. “I just didn’t like seeing Renley upset yesterday. I wanted to fix it.”
“If there is something going on with their relationship, I don’t know if that’s yours to fix. Just like it wouldn’t be Renley’s position to fix things with your father, and I know for a fact that you wouldn’t like that.”
I shake my head. “It would piss me off.”
“Exactly, so don’t insert yourself in whatever’s going on between them.”
“Probably right.” I pick up my tea and take a sip. “Can I tell you something that you have to keep to yourself?”
“Who the hell am I going to tell?” he asks, turning so he’s leaning against the counter. “I’m here for you.”
“You’d tell Kitty.”
“We train more than talk, but I get it. Your secret’s safe with me.”
I break the cronut in half and give him one piece. “Last night, I dry humped Renley in the rain against the side of the house.”
Rupert has his cronut halfway to his mouth before he slowly lowers it.
He blinks. “Pardon me?”
“You heard what I said. I’m not going to repeat it.”
“In the rain? Against the side of the house? Did you…did you find completion?”
“Can you not say it like that? Jesus, man.”
“Well…did you?”
“Of course I did. Have you seen her? She’s sexy as hell, her tank top was soaked through, she let me play with her nipple, so why wouldn’t I find completion?”
“Ha!” He points at me. “You said completion.”
“Don’t make me punch you.”
“Just one quick question, because I think this is important moving forward. Did she also find completion?”
“Yes,” I drag out.
“Good job, my man.” He pats me on the shoulder as I take a seat. “That’s a lot of elements to work with. A brick wall, rain, having to hold her up vertically and finding the right angle to dry hump while creating sufficient friction to get her off. Honestly, you should get an award this morning.”
“Yeah, my reward was her.”
Rupert clutches his chest. “Aww, mate, that was…that was so sweet.”
I drag my hand over my forehead, feeling the irritation and uncertainty but also the excitement. “I like her. I see myself with her. And all I want to do is help.”
“Is that why you dragged me here this morning?”
I nod. “I want to clear out the storage room for her. I think Kitty was supposed to do it.”
“Didn’t she already?”
“There’s a second storage room.”
“Where?” Rupert asks.
“Over here.” I get off my chair and nod for him to follow. Tea in hand, jumper draped over his shoulders, he follows me to the hallway where I stop in front of a door on the left.
“What’s in there?” Rupert asks.
“No idea.”
“Then how do you know how to clean it out?”
“I don’t, but I could at least pull things from it and sort them.” I reach for the handle and open the door to a room full of boxes.
“Huh, that doesn’t look too hard,” Rupert says, leaning in and turning on a light.
The dark space illuminates as a light from above shines singularly down on one individual that I’m pretty sure was not invited to take up residence.
“Mouse!” Rupert screeches, the decibel making my ears bleed. “There’s a fucking mouse!”
He hops on my back just as the mouse scurries down from a box and right in between my legs, shooting out toward the main space.
“Holy fuck!” I yell, backing up into the wall and slamming him against it.
“Bloody hell,” he grunts, only for the mouse to scurry toward us, juke out, and turn around.
It’s just enough to send Rupert into an all-out frenzy. He begins running and screaming, his jumper flying off into the nether regions of the closet, a distant memory now.
“Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!” He pauses, catches his breath, looks around, and then…“Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Demon mouse! It’s trying to eat my shoelaces.”
“It’s not even near—oh fuck,” I say, leaping up as he scurries down the hallway toward the back door.
“It’s attacking us.” Rupert clings to my side, trying to jump up on my body again and use me as a ladder.
I slam him into the wall once more, shaking him from me, and say, “Stop screaming, you’re scaring it.”
“It’s scaring me!” he yells.
“We need to get it out of here.”
“Not sure why you’re using the term ‘we.’ I have nothing to do with this. You dry humped her, you take care of her mouse.”
He has a point.
I pick up Rupert’s jumper and start walking down the hallway.
“Wait, what are you doing with my jumper?”
“Using it.”
“But that’s a Luca Faloni. It was designed for fashion, not rodent management.”
Unamused, I ask, “Would you rather I use your face?”
“How the hell would you use my face?”
“Come here and find out.”
He takes a step back and gestures to the jumper. “By all means, ruin the cable knit I’ve grown quite fond of.”
Fucking plonker.
I bring my attention back to the mouse, which is currently scurrying against the rear door, running back and forth, making my innards twitch with dread.
I’ve seen far too many videos of squirrels attacking humans, clawing at their faces and clinging on until the human is fully traumatized and ready to pass out.
I know this mouse is not a squirrel, but that doesn’t mean my mind isn’t racing as I approach with zero plan and a whole bucket of false bravado—and one finely knit jumper.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” I say as I creep closer. “Just let me help you.”
“Are you talking to it? What are you saying? Are you asking it to attack me? That shit isn’t funny, man.”
“Can you shut the fuck up?” I ask as I close in on it. “I just need—” I reach for the back door and yank it open, just as the mouse takes off in the other direction.
“Ahhhhhh!” Rupert screams. I turn around just in time to see Rupert leaping across the store, as if he’s performing the triple jump.
“It’s trying to eat me.” He leaps up and then lands, his eyes widening just as another ear-piercing, dog-howling scream exits his mouth.
“Ahhhhhh! I stepped on it. Oh fuck, I stepped on it.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, running up to him just as the mouse scurries past me, down the hall, and right out of the store.
I spring toward the door and shut it, not wanting it to find its way back in.
Hand to heart, trying to catch my breath from the adrenaline rush, I head down the hallway and say, “You didn’t step on it, it ran out the door. ”
I walk up to Rupert, who looks positively green as he holds his hand to his mouth.
“What’s going on?”
“I stepped on it.”
“No, you didn’t, it left.”
He shakes his head and points down at his foot.
My eyes track down to find a splatter of blood and a tail.
“Mate…mate…down,” Rupert exclaims right before he faints to the ground with a thump.
Jesus Christ…but also…let me go test out that new toilet because this almond croissant is not staying down.
Rupert: I canceled training with Kitty today and gave her workouts to do on her own. I’m unwell.
Theo: Is this your way of telling me that Renley is on her way since you’re supposed to be on lookout for me?
Rupert: She left like five mins ago.
Theo: Why didn’t you text me five minutes ago?
Rupert: Did you not read the above? I’m unwell.