Chapter 43 #3
I drag my fingers over my scruff. “It was kind of weird. He said he wanted to call my father and tell him that I had feelings for you.” I don’t mention the love part because I think that would freak her out and I don’t know if I’m ready to admit that.
“And we got in a fight over that, because I’m not ready to have that conversation with my father.
I will if I have to, but I fear what he might do.
He can be very vindictive. We went back and forth about that, and it felt like he was trying to pick a fight, trying to piss me off, which he did.
So when I called him out on it, he said that I was basically being an arsehole and that I’ve been ignoring him.
Which, he’s right, I have been, but we didn’t come out here to fuck around, we came out here to meet you, which I pointed out.
And then he said something about a last hurrah.
He took off and that’s where it ended. I’m telling you everything because I don’t want you to hear it from someone else.
If you walk away, I want it to be because of the actions that I’ve been honest with you about not because you heard something from someone else. ”
“Are you always like this?” she asks.
“Always like what?” I ask, feeling like I’m out on a balance beam above a pit of alligators waiting to tear me into pieces as I hold on to her every word.
“This honest, this communicative?”
I shake my head. “Honestly, no. I think this is the first time I’ve been really real with someone other than Rupert. And I know it’s because of you and how you make me feel. I don’t want to lose this, Renley.” I take both of her hands in mine. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat.
“Tell me what you’re feeling.”
“My brain is warring with itself, because on one hand, I knew something like this was going to happen. Happiness doesn’t just occur for me.
It’s not something I’ve ever truly lived with.
There have been moments of joy in my life, but true happiness, where I wake up with a smile on my face, when I feel like everything is going to be okay and I’m protected…
that doesn’t occur, so when I felt it with you, it was almost too good to be true. ”
I almost tell her it’s not, but I want her to be able to speak her mind, so I don’t interrupt her.
“But then I look at you, I look into your eyes and I see the desperation in them for me to understand. I see the pleading and…it makes me believe you, that there was no ill intent to hurt me, that you’re speaking the truth with everything inside of you.”
“I am,” I say, my voice shaking, because she’s right. I desperately want her to understand.
She nods and then turns so she’s looking straight ahead rather than at me. “I think I just need some time,” she says softly, her words breaking me even though I understand them.
“I get it,” I say, wanting to give her space despite my heart begging me to plead with her, to explain more.
“I, uh, I can leave, but promise me you’ll eat dinner.
Everything is in the basket for you. I got some of that peach jam you’ve talked about and those crackers that look like little slices of bread.
” I stand and she does as well. I head toward the bar, unsure what to do. “Do you want me to set it out for you?”
She shakes her head.
“Okay.” I scratch the back of my neck. “If you need anything, let me know.” Then I give her what feels like the saddest smile of all time and I head toward the back door.
“Theo?” she calls out.
I pause and look over my shoulder. When I look into her eyes, I feel shattered. I can’t believe I actually fucked this up. I should have been honest and straightforward from the beginning. Then again, would she have actually given me the time of day if I was?
“Yes?”
Her fingers itch at her side, her body language indecisive as she moves toward me, her eyes never straying from mine.
And as she grows closer, my heart pounds faster until it stops beating altogether when her hand closes around my neck, pulls me down toward her, and her lips press against mine.
I gasp before sliding my arms around her waist and pulling her in close, letting her take control, and letting her know this is all I want.
Her.
In my arms.
Her lips scorch me with heat, lighting me up and igniting me from deep within.
Her hands dive into my hair, exploring.
Her body melts into mine, making me feel like a whole man again.
“Fuck,” I say as she pulls away but keeps her head close to mine, her fingers playing with the hairs on the back of my neck.
“I…I don’t want you to go. I know I should tell you to leave, that I should be insulted and that I should hate you for using me to try to prove a point to your father, but…that’s not how I feel.”
“How do you feel?” I ask as my happiness rides on her answer.
“I feel like if you walk out of that door, I’m going to regret it because I’m…I’m developing feelings for you and even though I’m mad, I don’t want you to leave. I want you here, with me, holding me.”
I press my forehead against hers. “I can do that, love. You can be mad at me and I can still hold you, take care of you. Anything you want. Just give me a chance to make this up to you.”
She doesn’t say anything. Instead, her lips find mine again and her hands move down my back to the hem of my shirt. Her fingers slide under the fabric and up against my skin, her warm touch soothing my battered soul in an instant.
When my hands fall to the hem of her shirt, she takes a step back and I regret the decision only for a second before she lifts her arms above her head, asking me to take her shirt off.
Jesus. This doesn’t feel real, but I’ll take it. I’ll prove to her that I meant everything I said.
I grip the hem of her shirt and I pull it over her head, my eyes trained on her purple lace bra that’s cupping her breasts, propping them up just slightly.
She moves in close to me again and pulls my shirt over my head before discarding it on the floor.
Then her hands are all over me, slowly dragging across my chest, her fingernails leaving a trail behind them.
Her mouth is slow, languid, teasing as she gently opens up, but not enough for me to kiss her the way I want.
But I let her continue to take the lead on this, because this is her moment. It’s about her, not about me.
Her hands drag down my stomach to the zipper of my shorts and she undoes them before lightly dragging her finger over the elastic of my boxer briefs. My cock jumps at the thought of her touching me, handling me.
“Renley,” I groan as she swipes again.
Her hands release me and I’m about to protest until she reaches behind her and undoes her bra, only to push down her shorts and her underwear as well, leaving her completely bare.
“Fuck,” I whisper, letting my eyes lazily drag over her every curve. “You’re stunning.”
I move in close, pick her up by the waist, and place her on the bar. I capture her lips, and this time, she opens her mouth just enough to let our tongues tangle and I get lost in the feeling as her legs wrap around me. She pulls herself close enough that I can feel her arousal on my skin.
With a groan, I trail kisses across her jaw and down her neck. I give us enough space, and grip her legs to spread them wide. I dip my head down between them and press my mouth right up against her pussy.
One of her hands falls back behind her, propping her up, while her other hand sifts through my hair, holding me in place.
“God,” she whispers as I kiss her for a few seconds before I spread her with two fingers and lap my tongue against her clit. “Oh God,” she says louder.
I know how much she loves this, even though she was shy about it at first. She encourages it now and I fucking love that.
Wanting her to come on my tongue, I flatten it and slowly drag it over her clit, feeling her tense with every stroke.
Feeling her tremble.
Hearing her moans as she tries to squeeze her legs, but I don’t let her.
With one last drag of my tongue, I bring my lips to her clit and suck on it, the sensation causing her to buck her hips as she yells, “Oh fuck.”
Her jolt separates me, so I grip her arse and pull her close again, repeating the sensation, which draws a long, feral moan from her lips.
I spend the next minute sucking on her clit, playing with her breasts, pushing her toward her climax as her breaths become labored and her legs continue to tighten around me.
She digs into my hair, tugging, turning me on so goddamn much that my cock pushes against my shorts, begging to be played with.
But this isn’t about me.
I want her losing control, so I suck just a touch harder, knowing I’m on the border between pain and pleasure, but it doesn’t seem to bother her.
“Fuck, Theo…oh God…” Her mouth parts, her body tenses, and a wave of arousal hits my tongue right before she comes, her moans ringing through my ears as I flick my tongue across her clit, trying to help her ride her orgasm out until she’s completely spent.
After a few seconds, she collapses on top of the bar, her arm draping over her eyes as she catches her breath.
I take her hand in mine, pull her close to me, letting her wrap her legs around my waist. She buries her head in the crook of my neck as her hand finds my hair again. I kiss the side of her head, holding her tight as well, not ever wanting to let go.
After a few seconds, she pulls away just enough to look me in the eyes. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I know,” I say. “I’ll do whatever you want.” My hands drag up and down her back. “I’m yours, Renley, all yours.”
“Then…fuck me,” she says.
Those two words, they’re my undoing. Fuck. Yes.
I push my shorts and boxer briefs down, step out of them, and then lift her off the counter. I position her right on my cock and then lower her down before spinning her up against the wall.
She gasps from the impact but then her mouth is on mine as I slip my hands to her bum, grip her tightly, and start slamming into her, losing all sense of control.
I need to claim her, to show her that she’s mine, to make sure she understands that I’m it. I’m the one she needs, wants, desires. The fact that she couldn’t stand the thought of me walking out that door makes me even more determined to sort this rubbish out.
Her mouth is greedy as her tongue dives into mine. Her fingernails dig into my shoulders, marking me, showing me that her passion is matching mine.
And with every pierce of my skin, my body grows wilder, my hips flexing into her, my cock a driving force, causing her to gasp, to moan, to shiver with every thrust.
“Yes,” she cries out, her body straining. “Oh my God, yes, Theo. Faster.”
Fuck.
I move her hips with my thrusts, pumping her pussy up and down on my cock, the friction so goddamn powerful that my orgasm starts to rise, my body tingling, the early signs of falling over niggling at the back of my neck.
“Fuck, love, are you…close?”
“Yes,” she cries just as she squeezes around me.
“Jesus Christ,” I groan. “Again.”
So she squeezes just as I enter her and it’s the most euphoric feeling I’ve ever experienced, sending me on a goddamn high as I lose all sense of what I’m doing and where I am. I just chase the feeling of her tight cunt wrapped around me.
I thrust and thrust…and fucking thrust until she yells my name and she starts contracting around my cock, coming all over me.
Everything in me tightens, my stomach drops, and with one last thrust, I still as I bust inside her with such force that my legs shake beneath me.
“Fuck!” I yell, my hand landing on the wall to prop us up as I hold her with the other. “Fucking…hell,” I say softer as I float down from the high.
It takes me a few moments to gather myself, but when my breath feels steadier and I don’t feel like I’m going to pass out, I look her in the eyes. Her beautiful, understanding eyes.
“Be mad at me, hate me, but don’t let me go,” I whisper.
Her hands grip my cheeks, and she says, “I don’t hate you. I don’t even think I’m mad at you. I just…I just want you.”
“You have me. I’m not fucking around, Renley. You can have me for as long as you like. I’m not going anywhere.” I kiss her softly and she reciprocates, letting us both get lost in the moment.