Chapter 3
3
I USE THIS PLACE AS MY SANCTUARY
I remember the first time I saw this place, everything was perfectly planted to create a sense of serenity for anyone lucky enough to walk past them. The amount of fireflies cascading up and around but never seeming to leave the safety of this place. Walls of green protected the garden on all four sides. Each corner houses black metal benches, a stark contrast to the shades of green and pastels around them.
He follows me to the closest bench near the entrance. We sit down and I can tell he instantly understands the placement of the seating like I did, each corner allowing the visitor to take in the garden in its entirety without a single obstruction.
“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” I say more as a statement than an actual question.
“I don’t know if pretty really is an adequate way to describe this place. I’ve never seen anything so…” his words trail off, unable to conjure the perfect word.
“Magical?” I finish for him.
He smiles and nods in agreement.
“Funny thing is, it’s always this empty, not just at night. I found this place randomly one day when I was on a jog and I needed to just lean against a wall to catch my breath. Apparently whoever was here last forgot to secure the latch on the door and when I leaned against the wall I fell back into this place. When I looked to see where I fell, I thought I hit my head and was dreaming. Like who would have guessed this place was hiding out in the middle of a bustling city?”
“I use this place as my sanctuary when I feel like the world is closing in on me,” I continue, “I don’t think anyone even knows who owns this place or even maintains it, I’ve never seen a gardener here in all the times I’ve been and yet somehow the beauty of it never fades.”
Riley sits back against the bench, closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath, allowing his senses to differentiate between the aromas of the flowers versus the smells of grass. I glance over at him, I like how his features look relaxed here.
I’ve never really been in a relationship as long as he was, my last relationship, while it felt like a lifetime, was only eight months. Long enough for me to know that I needed to get the hell out of dodge before the life in me was stifled by the needs of another. It’s hard for me to imagine the betrayal he feels but I do take pleasure in knowing that I’m the one that’s able to offer him a moment of tranquility tonight.
That’s what this place does for me. Allows me to find peace when I feel like I’m drowning in my life.
Riley lets out a cathartic sigh. “Thank you for sharing this.”
His words, as simple as they are, squeeze my heart. Usually I keep this place a secret, a place only for me, but something made me want to take him here tonight. I realize that even though he is a stranger to me, I’m glad to show him this hideaway because somehow I know that he might need this place more than I ever have.
“It’s here if you ever need it,” I offer. “Ready?” I ask, slowly standing up to leave.
“If you are.”
What a loaded thing to say, because I don’t know if I am ready for the night to end.
I can’t believe I didn’t even want to go out to dinner tonight. I was literally dragging my feet the entire way, counting down the minutes until I was able to get back home and pretend the night never happened. This is a much different outcome of an evening than I had originally planned. Maybe it’s the three glasses of wine still muddling my brain that's making me question whether I want to go home or not, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to get up for work in the morning. And going home, alone, is the right call. “Yeah, I have an early start tomorrow, we probably better get going.”
Riley lifts himself off the bench and starts for the exit, holding it open for me this time to walk through. The moment we both step back onto the city sidewalk and the metal latches behind us it feels like we are transported back to reality. We begin walking back the way we came, passing by the bench I sat at earlier, “watch your step,” he warns, “wouldn’t want to lose the other ankle now.”
“And here I was just thinking how nice your silence was,” I tease.
Riley motions with his hands to zipping his lips and tosses the imaginary key over his shoulder. He continues on in silence.
“I was kidding! We have like two blocks before I get home. You’re really going to be silent the whole time?” I question challengingly.
He shrugs his shoulders to suggest that he’s planning that very thing. I scrunch my brows in annoyance and he can’t hold back his laugh. “Your face could freeze like that, you know,” he advises while rubbing the pad of his thumb across my brow massaging the creases away.
“I’m often reminded that my face just naturally rests like this. So, to some I’m afraid, they think it has already frozen over,” I say with a dismissive shrug.
“Well, tell them to fuck off.”
His use of profanity makes me jerk my head up to look at him. I’m no prude, so profanity isn’t something that often surprises me but for some reason it sounds so vulgar coming from him. The thought makes me giggle because I don’t even know him. Maybe he swears like a sailor under normal situations but he just doesn’t look like someone that would. The conundrum in my own head makes me giggle even louder.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, not understanding what I can find so humorous.
“Sorry,” I sputter out between breaths. “I just wasn’t expecting to hear you cuss,” still laughing at his response.
“Oh,” he grins, showing off that dimple that has that special ability to stir butterflies low in my belly. “I mean if you think that’s funny, I have a whole slew of them: Damn,” he lifts his pointer finger to begin keeping count. “Shit,” he lifts his middle finger, “Assho..”
“Yeah, OK, I get it, you have a well-rounded vocabulary,” I interrupt as he starts lifting his next finger. “Your mother must be sooo proud.”
Riley shrugs nonchalantly. “Honestly, I don’t think she cares either way.”
The way he says it, with such lack of admiration one usually has when talking about their mom, makes me curious. “Care to elaborate, or you just want to leave it there?”
“Eh, not much to explain. I’m sure there are better mothers out there, that’s all. So yeah, we can leave it there.”
With that said, I don’t dig deeper.
It takes another five minutes to arrive at the front of my building. Randy, in his perfectly pressed, as always, doorman’s outfit greets me, “Good Evening, Ms. Thatcher.” He bends slightly at the waist as he opens the door to the lobby for me.
“Hey, Mr. Archer,” I greet in return.
“Now you know, I’ve already told you to call me Randy, Miss.”
“And I’ve told you to call me Amelia. I’ll start when you start.”
The older man lets out a chuckle at me with defiance and reluctantly replies in agreement. “Yes ma’am.”
“Can you actually give me a minute?” I ask, holding up a finger before turning back towards Riley. “I just need to say goodbye.”
With that request, Randy nods his head and closes himself on the opposite side of the door to provide me some privacy.
“Thatcher. Amelia Thatcher, why does that sound so familiar?” Riley questions when I turn back to him.
Not really caring to get into that conversation with a complete stranger, I try to deflect the best I can.
“Maybe you know a lot of Amelia Thatchers,” I joke. “Well, Riley, thank you for walking me home.” I stretch out my hand for him to shake.
“My pleasure,” he takes my outstretched hand in his, “Have a good night, Princess.”
I smile, let go of his hand and when I turn around, Randy already has the door open again for me. I nod my thanks to him as I walk past.
Once inside, I turn around and see Riley walking back towards the direction we came from. I feel a pang of regret, letting him leave, but I have to remind myself that I don’t have the time or energy to discover what could be. Not now anyway and I’m sure he doesn’t have the capacity to start something so soon after what happened with his ex.
This is the right choice.
With that final decision, I step into the elevator and press the button to my floor to go home.