Longbourn
“Mama, look! There is a very elegant coach in the drive.”
Kitty sat in the window seat trying to think of something diverting to do.
The militia was to depart for Brighton in less than a month, and Colonel Forster kept the officers busy from dawn to dusk.
She had tried all the usual remedies and become almost desperate enough to read a book or talk to Mary, but nothing worked until she saw the equipage.
Mary, tired for once of reading the same old book of sermons and making abstracts, looked from the window with her sister to see a chaise and four drive up.
It was too late in the day for visitors, and the equipage did not answer to that of any neighbour.
The horses were very fine, and neither the carriage nor the servant’s livery was familiar.
“Ooohhhh! It must be Mr Bingley. We are saved!”
Mrs Bennet was in fine form, doubtless imagining the wayward suitor returned from his mysterious business in town, for surely Jane could not be so beautiful for nothing.
The mistress smiled for a moment, then turned cross. “Oh, but Jane is not here. What will he think? Oh, why did I send her to town—wretched, wretched mistake.”
“If it is Mr Bingley, Mama,” Mary said, “he would think what any sensible man would; namely that Jane was either here or elsewhere, and if he wanted to speak with her, he could just go to that other place. Of course, that presupposes him a sensible man when all evidence suggests the contrary.”
“Oh, none of your prattling, Mary. You sound worse than Lizzy.”
“It is simple logic, and I shall take the comparison to Lizzy as a compliment, so thank you.”
“Hush, you!”
Mary might have felt bad about being shushed like a child, but after a dozen years of such treatment, she no longer noticed. She turned back to the window.
“That is not Mr Bingley’s coach. I saw it one day in Meryton.”
“Perhaps he acquired a new one.”
“No, Mama. The driver and footman are liveried, and it does not match Mr Bingley’s. I am certain this is not he.”
The speculation resolved itself when the footman jumped from the back to open the door.
“There is a gentleman stepping down now, Mama,” said Kitty. “Who can it be?”
“Some acquaintance of your father or other, my dear, I suppose; I am sure I do not know.”
“La!” replied Kitty. “It looks just like that man that used to be with Mr Bingley before. Mr what’s-his-name. That tall, proud man. The one Lizzy was always arguing with—even when they were dancing.”
“Good gracious! Mr Darcy! And so it does, I vow. Well, any friend of Mr Bingley’s will always be welcome here, to be sure; but else I must say that I hate the very sight of him.”
Mary, feeling brave once again, replied, “Mama, it has been four months. Mr Bingley seems unlikely to return, so you might consider being civil to Mr Darcy. Lizzy is not here to drive him off, so who knows, he might like someone else. Bird in the hand, and such.”
The very idea of converting Mr Darcy from a hateful man to a potential suitor should have taken but an instant, yet it required several moments.
By the time the notion worked its way to inevitability, Mrs Bennet looked from the window and saw Mr Darcy hand down an elegant lady, dressed in the finest materials.
She sighed regretfully. “That must be Mr Darcy’s intended, though why he brings her here I cannot comprehend.”
A moment later, Mr Darcy reached into the coach again and handed down what looked like a maid wearing an enormous greatcoat.
Everyone knew they would need a maid to maintain propriety, but the gentleman acted very peculiarly—even aside from the fact that his maid appeared to be wearing his coat.
More shockingly, he smiled at the woman and even said a few words to her while holding her upper arm as if she might be unsteady on her feet. They had never seen the like.
All the ladies gasped when the maid gave the gentleman a huge smile and even, laughed at something he said, then patted him on the arm. The world was upside-down and everyone in it had gone completely mad.
They watched in breathless anticipation as the gentleman reached into the carriage one more time, and handed down—
“Jane!!!”
Mrs Bennet’s ear-splitting scream was only slightly less decorous than that of her three daughters.
It was likely loud enough to be heard by the people exiting the coach, since Jane turned to see them at the window.
However, Jane was not perturbed by the ruckus, as it was a perfectly normal greeting at Longbourn; she merely smiled and waved.
All four ladies scrambled to straighten their skirts and clear the clutter as the visitors were seen in and divested of their coats and gloves. Mr Bennet even deigned to join them to see what the fuss was about.
Scarcely a minute after all were settled demurely (for Bennets), Mr Hill, the butler, ushered them in.
He prepared to announce them, but Jane said, “Thank you, Mr Hill. Let us not stand on ceremony. I will introduce my friends.”
Looking stoic and professional, he said, “Of course, Miss Bennet,” and would have gotten away with it just like a proper butler had he not winked at her and grinned at the last minute when nobody was looking.
Jane returned the wink, then walked into the room, drew a deep breath, and commenced the battle.
“My dear family, I hope you will excuse me if I sacrifice precedence for clarity. First, I would like you to meet my very particular friend, Miss Anne de Bourgh. She is Lady Catherine’s daughter, and the heir to Rosings.
We have become quite close over the past weeks.
Annie, my father, Mr Bennet, my mother, Mrs Bennet, and my sisters, Mary, Kitty, and Lydia. ”
Kitty and Lydia managed to refrain from giggling, though only barely, and executed almost proper curtsies.
Anne said, “Mr and Mrs Bennet, Miss Mary, Miss Catherine, Miss Lydia… it is so good to finally meet you. Jane has told me so much about you, I feel I know you already.”
At the end of this, all three were gaping. There had not been a single mention of Jane acquiring a new friend, let alone such a rich and important heiress.
Anne was delighted to see one more vision of Lady Anne.
Claiming familiarity with people beyond what you already know is a good way to fit in, but do it carefully.
It is easy to get caught out on the fib, but if you can pull it off, people will want to believe you and will make it easier for you to be accepted.
It is all in your attitude, and how respectful you are with the new acquaintances.
She smiled at Darcy with a nod conveying his mother was alive and well—or rather, dead and well, but why quibble?
Once everyone had curtsied, Jane continued. “Mama, I hope you do not mind, but I have invited Anne to stay with us for a short while. She will occupy Lizzy’s place.”
Mrs Bennet flushed. “What! It is not to be thought of. In case you have forgotten, Lizzy sleeps with you. No, she must have the guest room!”
Anne stared at Jane in wonder, while Jane was enjoying herself immensely.
She simply replied, as unperturbed as possible, “No, Mama. That room must be reserved for Mr Darcy. You remember him from last autumn, I hope. He is Anne’s cousin, and was volunteered to chaperone for her visit.
Do not worry. He is quiet as a mouse and does not eat much. ”
Everyone in the room stood stock still while Jane just stood there smiling. They gave her a thorough scrutiny to ascertain she was in fact Jane, not Lizzy, since the words sounded exactly like those her sister would say.
Mr Bennet finally broke the impasse by laughing quite loudly. “I stand corrected. I used to think you were the beautiful but agreeable daughter. Now I see you are the clever one, and Mr Darcy; why, I believe he will be an even better visitor than the last one.”
He studied Mr Darcy, surprised to see the gentleman break into a grin and chuckle. This naturally set Anne, Jane, and Ellen laughing, while the rest of the Bennet family watched in confusion.
As the laughter subsided, Darcy replied, “I shall do my level best to improve on Mr Collins, sir. He sends his regards, by the way.”
Mr Bennet laughed. “Now, Jane… a point of clarification. You said, ‘was volunteered’ instead of ‘has volunteered.’ Did you misspeak?”
“My apologies for not speaking clearly, Papa. I should have used the longer form, ‘was ordered to volunteer.’ Is that better?”
Mr Bennet laughed along with Darcy. “Welcome to the world of female relations, sir.”
“My thanks. I understand you to be a world-renowned expert.”
After a moment, the laughter died away, and Mary asked, “We all know Mr Darcy, but who is this with you?”
The presence of a maid travelling with a lady was nothing new.
What was astounding was that this appeared to be an ordinary maid of all work, not a lady’s maid.
Even more astonishing, she had come to the drawing room with the gentry instead of going straight to the kitchen to talk to the housekeeper.
Anne took Ellen’s arm. “This is my good friend, Ellen Taylor. She is my lady’s maid but is new to the profession.
Might you help her with hairstyles and gowns and such?
I have not even had time to refresh her wardrobe yet, so perhaps you could assist with that as well?
I presume you are on good terms with the local dressmakers. ”
Ellen looked at her and started to speak, but Anne winked so she desisted.
Mary said, “You are welcome. Should we call you Miss Taylor or Ellen?”
“I prefer Ellen, though Mr Darcy calls me Miss Taylor.”
Lydia, never one to let an opportunity for foolishness pass, said, “La, Mr Darcy talks to you. I can imagine that is very dreary.”
The room became silent and Lydia stared around. “What did I say?”
Darcy stepped into the breach. “Yes, Miss Lydia, I talk to my friend Miss Taylor, and I would appreciate if you could assist her in her new responsibilities. I must however agree with you on one point. Talking to me is often quite dreary, so I depend on you to cheer her up after she finishes with the disagreeable chore.”
Lydia, entirely surprised the man could make a joke, or that he would ask her for anything at all, did the only proper thing. She started giggling, which prompted Kitty to join her.
“We will be happy to help her,” they said together with a look of mild avarice on their faces.
Kitty asked, “How long have you been a lady’s maid?”
“You tell me. You saw the promotion! I was a maid of all work when we entered.”
Lydia jumped up and down a few times. “La, we will have so much fun! Come along.”
Then she started pulling Ellen by the arm, but she winced loud enough for even Lydia to notice, and she turned back to look at her wrist. Seeing the bandage soaked in blood but not likely to be fatal, she gasped.
“How did you get Jane’s embroidery on your wrist?
It is the best thing any of us have made in our lives. ”
Ellen Taylor looked at Jane and whispered, “Hideous?”
Jane shrugged nonchalantly. “We suffered a mishap on the road. I shall tell you all about it at dinner, but I would appreciate it if you cleaned that wound with gin and salve—all the gin on the wound if you please—and a new bandage. Pretend she is Lizzy who just fell out of a tree, or a barn, or a woodpile, or—”
“Of course. We are not nickninnies. Come along Ellen. We will fix you right up,” Lydia laughed, and the youngest Bennet girls flounced from the room with Ellen in tow; the level of noise reduced considerably.
Darcy turned to the others. “Mrs Bennet, I believe your daughter surprised you with my presence. I would be happy to stay at the inn if it is inconvenient.”
Mrs Bennet looked as though she were on the verge of apoplexy. “The inn! The inn! Not on your life! It is inconceivable! There is no trouble at all, though there is no chance of fresh fowl or fish for dinner.”
Darcy quite surprised her by chuckling. “Anything will do. I always heard you set a fine table at Longbourn and enjoyed it on the two occasions I dined here previously. Whatever you have will be fine, and on the morrow, perhaps Mr Bennet and I could hunt at Netherfield.”
Anne joined in. “I have never shared a bed before, Janie. Do you snore?”
Everyone burst into laughter, and Darcy smiled from ear to ear seeing this side of his cousin emerge.
He had known perfectly well it was there all along but had wondered for years whether anyone other than his cousin Richard and he would see it.
Privately, he gave it a month before Lady Catherine was afraid of her daughter, rather than the converse, which had been the pattern of their lives.
Jane and Anne moved closer to Mrs Bennet and Mary to start a conference about ladies’ topics. Darcy stood back watching. He was enjoying the unexpected camaraderie when he heard a quiet voice beside him.
“Quite a sensation to be entirely insignificant, eh?”
Darcy looked at the man and thought he detected a bit of the wit that must have instructed his Elizabeth’s character; he thought he just might like the man on his own merits.
“I confess I have never been so thoroughly cast out, rebuffed, and ignored in my life. I believe I am less significant than that cat over there. I quite enjoy it.”
“The horns will blow soon enough, but you are safe for the moment. What say you to some sherry and a game of chess or backgammon?”
“It would be my honour and pleasure.”
“Go easy on the courtesy,” Bennet said with a wry grin. “Best to build yourself up slowly in such exertions.”
“I assume you are aware I have a debt of civility to this neighbourhood.”
Bennet stopped and looked carefully at the man. “So, my Lizzy took you to task, did she?”
Darcy looked carefully, trying to work out what the man knew or suspected, and finally said, “In a manner of speaking, though you may be overlooking another daughter who is not as averse to instruction as you might suppose.”
“My Jane?” he asked, wide-eyed.
“Yes sir. I do not recommend her bad side; nor Anne’s, for that matter.”
“Are there any women of your acquaintance who have not taken you to task recently?”
Darcy stared at the gentleman for a moment, raised his finger in the air, put it back, raised it again, dropped it again, and finally said, “Now that you mention it, I cannot think of any.”
“Let us repair to the study. I am curious. Have you any idea where my Lizzy scurried off to?”