Oakham Mount
“Mr Darcy, do you plan to tell the rest of us what you are really doing in Hertfordshire?”
“What do you mean, Miss Mary?”
Naturally, that arrangement lasted only until they were out of sight, when Anne claimed Jane and set out slightly ahead of everyone, for they were in each other’s confidence and had secret affairs to discuss. Kitty and Lydia continued their usual pairing, excluding everyone and everything.
That left Mary to walk beside Darcy, which he did not mind in the least. He offered her his arm, and she eyed it confusedly, as if no gentleman had ever done such a thing, before finally placing her hand on his elbow.
He gave her a small smile, which seemed to half-frighten her, so he decided to just let them walk on to allow her to become accustomed to the idea.
He was certainly the last man in the world who should comment on someone feeling or acting awkward.
Darcy had spent time thinking about the middle Bennet daughter, and his thoughts invariably turned to understanding Elizabeth through her sisters, as well as entertaining ideas about how he could help them.
It was pointless for a man to be rich and powerful if he could not help his friends.
The Bennets were, he hoped, to be friends at least, and preferably much more, so a little forethought would not be amiss.
As usual, though, once he started thinking about that, he became unsure of himself.
Fortunately, in this case, he need not invoke a long-dead parent. His conversation with Anne the previous evening sufficed. He had mentioned his thoughts, wondering if she deemed him presumptuous for wishing to aid the other Bennets as if they were already sisters.
Anne’s reply had been quick.
It is a little late to worry about officious interference now.
Before the Bingley debacle would have been a good time, but since we are on the subject, let me be clear.
If you treat them as sisters, then you are being presumptuous, and frankly ridiculous.
If you treat them as friends who have shared their home for a fortnight, then you are not wrong, so long as your interference amounts to nothing more than introductions, suggestions, help when requested, or things you would do for any friend.
The distraction lasted only a moment, while Miss Mary decided whether to repeat the question.
“You have been here a fortnight, ostensibly protecting your cousin. Forgive my scepticism, but I doubt Anne requires protection. You might, but she does not. You have another purpose, and I wonder if you plan to share it, or I need to guess.”
Darcy studied her carefully. “Those are good observations. I presume if I share something in confidence, it will remain as such?”
“Of course it will,” she said with a snicker worthy of Elizabeth, but then looked a bit crestfallen. “It is not as if anyone wants my secrets anyway.”
Darcy felt quite small. “Would you prefer I just tell you, or would you like to hazard a guess? I have things I would ask as well, if you are of a mind to oblige me.”
Mary perceived a sincerity she liked, so she accepted the challenge.
“I suppose the real purpose is obvious; it is to me, at any rate. You are waiting for Lizzy to return. Either you want to court her, or you have already made a complete muddle of it and are here to repair the damage.”
Darcy laughed with good humour. “That is very astute. It is the latter, and describing it as ‘a complete muddle’ understates the magnitude of the disaster by half. Can you tell me how you guessed?”
“It is simple, really. You began badly with Lizzy right from the beginning by slighting her at the assembly. May I presume Jane or Anne have already taken you to task over that?”
“They have, though I relieved them of the burden by feeling inordinately ashamed and guilty on my own.”
“Wasted emotions! Their purpose is to encourage you to better yourself or make amends. If you have done so, it is time to let them go, though you still must apologise to Lizzy for it, if she will listen to you.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Everything worthwhile is, but Oakham Mount is only two miles, so we should advance our discussion.”
“Agreed.”
“Lizzy likes to think she is very clever, and I admit she is. She is quite the cleverest us all, but that gives her one big disadvantage. She does not fail often enough to take the possibility of her intellect failing seriously. Those of us who make a muddle of it most of the time need to learn humility. She likes her first impression, and since you touched her on a particularly sensitive subject, her course was set.”
“I see. Why particularly sensitive?”
“If you had my mother, and Jane for a sister, you would understand.”
Darcy looked at the ground. “Perhaps I understand better than you might think. I grew up with two other boys, Robert Breton, and Mr Wickham. My father was a very good man, astute in every area of his life except Mr Wickham. He never favoured Wickham per se, but he made it clear on any number of occasions that I should be more like him socially. He was a lively man and found me too sober and taciturn for his taste, so he spent quite a bit of time with his godson. It is clearly not as bad as what you suffer, but at least enough to give me the general notion.”
“Fair enough. Now imagine a life where your father told you explicitly, nearly every day, that you were not as good as him. Not as clever, not as handsome, whatever adjective you would find most troublesome. Then, imagine Lizzy as a peer, and the very first thing she did is slight exactly the same attribute your father slighted, and you will be getting close.”
Darcy coloured and looked at the ground. “I understand much better.”
“Put the pieces together and throw a snake into the garden at the worst possible moment, and you will see the obstacle you faced. You must be aware that wherever Lizzy is, Mr Wickham’s poisonous words have not been refuted, since you passed up your chance in the autumn.
She probably still believes him unless she has managed to work it out for herself. ”
“I am aware of that, among my many failings. But may I ask a question? You worked out that I would like to court her. How?”
Mary laughed. “Lizzy is very clever… cleverer than I am by far, but she does have her blind spots. She frequently wondered why you stared at her and advanced the theory that you stared to find fault.”
“And?”
“As a woman with plenty of faults to find, I can tell you that it takes a man very little time to identify them. No staring is required.”
Darcy gasped and halted, bringing Mary to a stop as well, though she stared down in such embarrassment that she might have tripped over the next pebble in the path anyway.
Darcy said very gently, “Miss Mary, I have shared your home and your table for a fortnight and have had ample time to study you at my leisure. It has not been sufficient to find any real fault. Perhaps you underestimate yourself, or perhaps your mother’s poison has caused you to underestimate my sex in general. ”
Mary met his eyes. “You say that now, and you do it with the voice of sincerity, though a practised deceiver would do that while spouting empty flattery. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you are sincere, but may I ask, what did your evil twin that was here last autumn think?”
Darcy studied his boots, flushing with shame. “Anyone who listened to that idiot ought to have their wits questioned.”
“But what did he think?”
His colour deepened. “He thought you beneath him, and not worth getting to know. Beyond that, he did not think of you at all. Much to his discredit, he dismissed you and all your sisters save one with a glance. That one he dismissed with a great deal of effort… or tried to anyway.”
Unaccustomed to such brutal honesty, Mary smiled, thinking she could well get used to it. It would make life so much easier and less confusing.
“Thank you for your candour. Your doppelg?nger has more adherents to his way of thinking than you do.”
Feeling quite out of his depth, Darcy said, “Perhaps… but may I ask you this? How many husbands do you desire? Is it zero or one?”
“One of course. I may not be the most beautiful or accomplished or lively Bennet daughter, but I still want to live, just like any other woman.”
“So, amongst the multitude of men, does it matter how many are worthy of your attention and how many are not?”
“Even Jane is unwed after seven years. I have no dowry, no connections, little in the way of accomplishments, and beauty that is marginal at best. Do you honestly think I stand any chance at all?”
Wondering what hole he had dug himself, Darcy asked, “Do you think the less evil version of myself will not help you?”
Mary stopped again, staring at him as if the idea had never occurred to her.
“Put the matter of help from me aside for the moment. Even before my return, Jane spent four months in London at your uncle’s house.
According to her reports, she just wasted her time pining for Bingley.
If she had been in the right humour, is it likely your uncle would have introduced her to eligible men in that time? ”
“Yes, they always offered, but Mama does not want us marrying tradesmen. She thinks them beneath us.”
“I see. Do you believe this?”
“Of course not. My aunt and uncle are the finest people I know, and of course, my mother is born of trade; but none of us have become desperate enough to oppose her. We will eventually, but not yet.”
“We all fight our chains. You fight your mother’s influence and your father’s indolence.
I fight the big target on my back and my own addlepated ideas about my position in society.
Bingley fights his indolence, his indecision, his pernicious sisters, and his over-reliance on my advice, which is far from infallible.
I suppose the question for all of us is whether we let the chains define us, or whether we break free. ”
“Have you broken free?”
“I have broken some, but not all. I am a better man now than I was a few months ago. I would not have held this conversation then. I would have been afraid to even walk with you. More importantly, I will be a better man a few months hence. You see, I fully expect your sister to reject my first proposal. Nobody with a scrap of sense or pride could accept it. My hope is that she will allow me to court her properly, and humbly, and show her that I am not that evil twin. It will be a chance for me to grow, to improve my character, and by the time I eventually wear her down, I hope to be worthy.”
“I wish you every success.”
“Now, let us discuss your chains. I will be honest. I hope one day to be your brother, and your concerns would be mine, but I am not that yet and may never be. I do however have an idea you might like—friend to friend. I hope I may call you that?”
Mary fell silent for several paces, turning the idea over in her mind. “Yes—friends.”
“If you are in no particular hurry to meet eligible men, what say you to meeting a friend who is a bit less… err… less… well, I will not say it. I suppose my question is, would you like to meet my sister? I believe you could teach each other some things.”
“You would introduce me to your sister?”
“Of course. As you know by now, I am the laziest man you know, with the obvious exception of your father. My sister is timid, shy, and astonishingly short of female influence her own age. That is my fault, but now that I have identified it, I plan to fix it the easiest way possible. If I just have you in my house for some months, then all would be resolved without my lifting a finger. I cannot imagine why I did not think of this before.”
Mary stared at him in perplexity. “Your sister?”
“Yes. She is but sixteen. She is astonishingly good at the pianoforte, and I have masters engaged that you could share. You have talent but need training. You have energy and application, but it needs direction. Socially, you and Georgiana are both a bit awkward, though far be it from me to criticise. Georgiana learned it from me, and you probably from your father. You might form a close bond, something like your two elder sisters share if possible. Then after a few months, if you are not lively enough, I can just drop your other two sisters into the mix. Problem solved, and with so little trouble and expense. It is the perfect solution. Even better, Georgiana will come out in society next year. You will come out with her. Yes, it is all arranged. I shall write to my aunt, Lady Matlock, at once to set the matter in motion.”
“You are mad!”
“In that, you are absolutely correct. What say you? Will you come to Derbyshire for a few months?”
“Let us see if you are still mostly intact and willing to meet with anyone named Bennet after you rejoin Lizzy. Whether she objects to you or not, I will be happy to meet your sister. I am afraid you cannot command us to befriend each other. We will have to work that out ourselves, but I will try.”
“That is all I ask.”
Mary nodded, and asked casually, “By the by, do you have any idea where Lizzy is?”
“North is all I have heard. For all I know, she could be ensconced in the blue parlour at Pemberley, talking about me at this very moment.”