Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
FRANKIE
T he whole drive home, I fought the urge to sob. The fact they could piss me off so badly and I could practically vibrate with anger, yet I still wanted to cry was unfair. It was also so damn frustrating.
I was still sniffling when I pulled into my parking slot at the apartments. The sun beat down with a vengeance, the heat slapping me as soon as I opened the car door. It followed me all the way into the apartment with my backpack.
Once I was inside, I leaned against the closed door and let the air conditioning wrap around me. The sweat on my skin was already drying. The icy coolness helped not only with my temper but also my tears.
A questioning meow had me opening my eyes to see Tiddles eyeing me from the kitchen doorway. A black cat with the biggest eyes and attitude, he seemed to be waiting for me to get my shit together.
“Hey, baby boy,” I murmured, pushing away from the door. I checked the water dish and nodded. They still had plenty. I’d check the litter box later. “Despite your protests,” I continued on my way to the bedroom with him trotting alongside me. “Your dinner isn’t due for another thirty minutes.”
That meant I could shower and maybe rinse off the day. Tiddles argued, but when headed for the bathroom and the shower, he hopped up on my bed. It didn’t take me long to strip. I started with a cooler shower, and gradually warmed the water up.
By the time I finished, I felt a great deal more human.
I’d gone ahead and washed my hair since it would have plenty of time to dry before I went to bed.
I changed into a tank top and thinner shorts after.
The cats were thrilled that I opened a tin for them before I checked what we had for my dinner.
The shopping list was still on the fridge. There were three twenties also attached to as promised. I made a face. At least I had stuff for sandwiches, so I made myself a grilled cheese, grabbed a soda and retreated to my room.
The apartment was small, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, though Mom’s was in her room and an ensuite. The door to her room was also closed to keep the cats out. My bathroom was in the hall. There was a combo living room and dining room for the main room and the galley kitchen.
The compact place made keeping it neat pretty easy. The trash wasn’t full, and the litter box wasn’t bad so I could take both out in the morning. It was almost too quiet in the apartment, so I put on some music.
Torched’s latest album had been released over the summer and I had damn near every song memorized. It resonated with me. It was kind of weird to be tackling my homework and reviewing my syllabi for each class without the guys.
Disappointment clawed its way up through me. I’d known the moment they learned about Mathieu, they’d be pissed. I’d known it, and it still made my stomach hurt that I was right.
What made it even worse, was even after everything, I’d really missed them over the summer. As aggravating as they were being and high-handed, it was actually kind of nice to argue with them.
Tiddles raced in and bounced from the floor up onto the desk where I was getting my notebook organized. At his expectant look, I stroked a hand over his head and down his back.
“Yes, I’m aware that I make no sense. They piss me off, block me from dating, and treat me like I’m some kind of child who doesn’t know what she wants and I have the audacity to miss them, when I was the one who cut them off in the first place.
” I sighed even as Tiddles began to purr.
When I would have stopped petting him, he bumped my hand again.
Tory and Tabby made their way back into my room with Tory leaping up onto the bed. The sleek white cat sprawled over my pillows like she owned them. Tabby prowled over to leap onto the desk and then over to the window sill where she could keep watch on the neighborhood.
The faint scent of fish lingered, but one by one, they began to fastidiously clean themselves. Even Tiddles.
“So, that’s the only opinion I get?” I asked but they didn’t pause in their hygiene checks so I went back to checking how much reading I had, what projects were due when and what kind of schedule I’d need.
Normally, we did this together and we divided up tutoring time if the guys needed it or if we shared a class and a project. This was the first time I hadn’t already committed every minute of every day for the rest of the semester.
I’d just finished getting my notebooks organized when my phone vibrated.
Mathieu : I did not consider how many people want to ask me the same questions over and over.
I laughed.
Me: You’re French. They want to know what you think about everything.
Mathieu : Maybe. I am amused by how many wish to discuss the heat.
Me : It’s not that they want to discuss it, but it’s an imperative. Cause damn it’s hot in August.
The laughing faces he sent in response only made my smile grow.
Mathieu : Noted. I shall not complain until September then.
Another laugh escaped me.
Me: Are you home now? Or have they hijacked you longer and taken you out to dinner?
His answer didn’t come immediately, so I set the phone down while I went over the discussion questions for our first lit reading assignment. Reading was never a hardship and at least I didn’t actively despise any of the books on the list.
I would have to grab one either from the library or Amazon, if the library didn’t have it. I was scrolling through my Kindle to find the first book on the list when my phone vibrated again.
Mathieu : How did you know?
He didn’t wait for a response before he sent another.
Mathieu : I had hoped to have dinner with you, but I don’t think we will be done for another two hours. I also have some work to do after. Are you free tomorrow?
Me: I’ll make time. The first week is always the hardest. Call me before you go to sleep?
Mathieu : I will make sure you are still awake before I call.
I sighed.
Me : If I don’t talk to you later tonight, I’ll pick you up in the morning…
Mathieu : I would like that very much. If anything changes, I’ll tell you.
I sent him a kissy-face emoji and sighed. Yes, the first week would be the worst. We just had to adapt to the new schedule. As much as I would love to be hanging out with him right now, it was probably better for me to get my schedule under control.
Then we could have fun when I wasn’t working and my homework would still get done. I found the book I was looking for, then checked the length before I studied the questions again.
Right, I could read this tonight pretty quick, then get the answers started.
She hadn’t indicated what our first “paper” would look like, but that was part of the fun.
We had to prep for the discussion questions period, because it could be anything from a persuasive paper to an essay test to an actual debate in class.
It was one of the things I really loved about Mrs. Fajardo. She challenged us and proved that reading wasn’t just about devouring the words, but about processing them. With most of it done, that just left math. We didn’t have any homework in there due until Friday.
Bubba had asked me to help him with the class, it was AP Calculus. I took my plate and empty soda can to the kitchen. There was no ice cream in the freezer, but I checked the pantry and reached into the back—score.
I’d hidden peanut butter cups back there and Mom hadn’t found them. So I took the package of Reese’s and some water back to my room. My phone buzzed.
Coop : Ready to video chat?
I stared at the message. It wasn’t that late. It was just after seven. I had most of my homework done, I could curl up and watch videos or a movie or…
Coop: I know we pissed you off. I’m sorry.
That made me sigh.
Me: Are we just going to talk about assignments and stuff?
He offered that apology and that helped . But I wasn’t sure if he was apologizing because I was angry or for why I was angry. Did I dare ask that question? Or would it just start another fight?
Coop : …
The three little dots flickered as he seemed to be taking a long time to compose his response. I set the phone down, closed out of the documents I was in on my laptop and then flipped open my notebook to my class schedule and the homework schedule I’d worked out already.
Finally, my phone vibrated.
Coop : I want to hang out. I think they do too. But—Bubba needs help with math and we always kind of figure out the schedule for the week. So—-all of the above?
I studied the response and chewed the inside of my lip. The earlier desire to sob had evaporated. Most of the tension binding me up in chicken wire had also eased. While I wouldn’t have said I’d relaxed, I was a lot closer to it than I’d been at school.
Coop: I can tell them to fuck off and just come over if you want.
My pulse increased, almost uncomfortably. The hard thud was probably bruising.
Coop : C’mon, Frankie… talk to me.
Me: Ok.
Just two letters and I huffed out a long breath. It didn’t do much for my stress levels.
Coop: Ok to the call? Ok to me? Ok to run away to Mexico for a vacation?
Coop: Cause we’ll have to take your car if it’s the 3rd one, but I’m game
A laugh escaped me.
Me: Ok to the first 1. Maybe to you. Too much homework for 3.
I’d barely hit send when my computer began to ring. The video chat invite was right there in the corner. I accepted before I tied myself up in too many knots. The three dots were flashing again in my message with Coop.
The screen opened and there was Coop, a faint, if crooked grin in place. He was in the big square and I was in the little one above. I frowned as I waited for the sound to connect.
Coop’s grin widened, and became almost a smirk. “Can you hear me now?”
“Yes,” I said. “Where are the guys?”
“Waiting for me to send them the link for the chat.” He focused on me, the intensity in his gray-green eyes riveted me. I recognized his bedroom behind him, but even the computer between us couldn’t diminish the demand in his gaze. “I wanted to talk to you first.”
“Did you?” I went for light, particularly because Coop was damn near unblinking in his stare. “So, you wanted two more than you admitted.”
“I didn’t admit any of it, but I did want to talk to you whether we chatted with the guys or not.”
I could hear the vibrating of his phone as it went off in texts. I’d bet anything the guys were demanding to know what was taking so long. It probably shouldn’t amuse me but it kind of did.
For his part, Coop just ignored the phone. “Frankie…”
My heart did another slam against my ribs. It damn near hurt because his voice dropped.
“I missed you this summer.” The scolding note was there, not loud or even particularly stressed, but still present. “I did come by your apartment a few times.”
When I opened my mouth to respond, he raised a hand.
“Let me finish. I’m not asking for an explanation and I'm really not trying to make you feel bad.”
I sucked my lower lip in against my teeth.
“But…”
There it was. So much weight tangled around that single word.
“You and me? We’re cradle to grave. You have been in my life for as long as I can remember and I’m not willing to let you leave it.”
I swallowed.
“French dude. No French dude. The guys? Jake? Archie? Bubba? With them or not—I’m here. Me. You and me, we don’t do this to each other. So, if you want to get rid of me, good luck. It won’t work.”
I forgot how to breathe. I curled my fingers into my palms, digging my nails in.
“You don’t have to say anything. I meant it. But that’s what I needed you to know,” he said, his voice a whisper. Then he nodded, and his expression relaxed and a smile tipped his lips. “Now I’ll get the others on so they can bitch, moan, and whine about homework.”
His attention flicked off me and I huffed out a breath as one by one the others popped up on the screen. Even with the electronic distance, it was all suffocating.