Chapter 29
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
FRANKIE
I woke up to a text from Rachel, five missed calls from my mom beginning the night before, three absolutely starving cats who were wasting away to nothing thanks to me not getting up with the sun.
There was even a bag with two apple fritters in it taped to my back door with a note that read: Eat, you’re a war hero - R.
They smelled great. But I was still on autopilot.
I’d left my phone in do not disturb while I fed the cats, made coffee, ate half of a fritter before throwing myself into a shower.
It wasn’t exactly late morning but it was just barely eight.
My brain started winding up as soon as the hot water hit me.
Everything from the night before rushed back in.
The stares. The whispering. Jake . The study.
Jake again . Archie with the microphone playing it up like he was some drunk socialite Bruce Wayne capturing everyone’s attention and more, their obedience.
The whole tone of the party flipped on its axis because he took up my defense.
The chaos didn’t rattle me so much. It was just so Archie and then he asked me to dance. We had, several times. I danced with Mathieu too, but Archie kept coming back and by the time Mathieu and I were leaving, I wasn’t as mad anymore.
While I could handle the chaos, the quiet left me floundering. Today was the day after and that always meant choices. It meant social media posts. It meant the casual little digs and the gossip that would roll through the school like some majestic dominoes display tumbling brick by brick.
After my shower, I took turns drinking my coffee and drying off before I got dressed.
Coffee made the brain cells work. I would need them working today for sure.
Once I was dressed in shorts and a tank top, my damp hair combed and hanging free to dry, I finally started scrolling through the messages on my phone.
Mathieu sent me a text around midnight right as I was falling asleep. Let me treat you to breakfast tomorrow. No secrets. Just us. Okay?
I hadn’t answered him then. Mostly cause my brain had been shutting down, but we’d talked some when I drove him back to his host family’s house. Didn’t make the knots in my stomach any less tense.
Back in the kitchen, I refilled my coffee and finished the first fritter. I wrapped the other one up in its paper bag. I would save it for later. The cats had begun to scatter after they’d eaten, though Tiddles hung out with me, sitting on the windowsill and grooming himself.
It was a little weird how disconnected I felt at the moment.
I wasn’t broken or sick. I didn’t feel like I’d won anything or survived it either.
I was just me . A little more scarred, a little more alone, and little more certain that no matter what I did, my best friends might not be that for much longer.
At least, not all of them.
Jake .
A long sigh tore out of me, but it did nothing to ease the weight.
After draining the coffee, I washed out my cup, then checked Mom’s messages. She was still away on business and wouldn’t be back until Wednesday or Thursday.
Shocker.
I would need to do the shopping. There were a couple of things she wanted me to take care of, including dropping a couple of her dresses off at the cleaners.
Rolling my eyes, I just sent a thumbs up to her so she would know I’d read them.
Somehow, I doubted she was going to care much about a response right now.
Done, I sent a message to Mathieu to let him know I was on my way.
By the time I made it outside, the day was already warm enough to make me sweat.
The inside of my car was a damn furnace but I rolled all the windows down so I could let it out while the air conditioner coughed up some cooler air.
Summer in Texas, even late summer, was its own personal circle of hell.
If not for swimming pools, water parks, and ice-cold malls, it would be unbearable.
Mathieu was outside when I pulled up. It was funny, he looked cool and crisp like the weather didn’t faze him.
Grinning, he slid right into the passenger seat and leaned over to cup my chin with his hand.
A brush of a kiss, light as butterfly wings, and then another, firmer kiss that had me curling my toes in my shoes.
“Bonjour chérie,” he murmured against my lips before nuzzling another swoon worthy kiss.
“Bonjour,” I answered with a little smile.
“Good day?” he asked as he pulled on his seat belt.
“It’s definitely better now.”
With the door closed and the a/c chasing out the swirl of warmer air he brought in with him, I could enjoy the crispness of his cologne. He didn’t crowd me or reach for my hand, just settled back while I started driving.
It had only been a few weeks but it was already familiar and easy. That felt a little dangerous. Shaking that uncertainty off, I glanced over at him when we reached the light at the entrance to his host family’s subdivision. “Where are we going?”
“I found a place,” he said, a smile curving his lips. “It’s a bit odd, but according to the reviews, it serves Vietnamese coffee and waffles shaped like dinosaurs.”
Odd? I blinked. “That sounds like a fever dream.”
Mathieu chuckled. “The reviews were all positive, though they mentioned the owner wears the obscenely bright Crocs and likes to speak in puns.”
A real snort escaped me. “And you’re sure all the reviews were positive? ”
“Want me to put in the address?”
“Please.” I handed him my phone after I unlocked it. The silence that followed as my phone directed me out to the highway. The place wasn’t close, and I was okay with that. We had time.
The silence that followed wasn’t awkward, though. It was… calm. Like we’d both earned a breath after surviving the storm.
Still, I had to say it.
“Mathieu?”
“Yes?”
“About last night.”
He didn’t flinch. Just waited.
“I’m sorry it got messy.”
He shook his head. “ You don’t owe me an apology. Jake does. The rest of them do.”
“But I didn’t want that for you,” I said quietly. “To be dragged into my drama.”
I took the onramp and Mathieu waited for me to merge with the traffic as I floored it before he answered.
“You’re not drama , Frankie,” he said. “You’re someone worth showing up for.” Then he smiled—small, quiet, but honest.
And I felt it all the way to my ribs. I didn’t answer right away. It just didn’t seem fair. For him. “I want to say I don’t know why they are behaving that way.” But that would be a lie. “A few months ago, I had no idea that they chased off any guy who might have asked me out.”
Every single thing they’d done the night before had just underscored the truth Rachel had shared with me.
Well, except for Archie. He was different.
I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what.
It was almost like he counterbalanced Jake’s increasingly frustrating temper with a kind of sardonic playfulness.
“They are jealous,” Mathieu said without an ounce of teasing or jest. “All four of them.”
“But if they liked me, why date other girls?” Being told that I was oblivious was not really an answer to me.
Not when I knew damn good and well not a single one of them had been chaste.
That they’d enjoyed discovering sex. They’d talked to me about it.
Trusted me, at least with their choices.
Apparently, I wasn’t to be trusted with mine.
Mathieu sighed. “ Chérie , I will not say all men, but many of us are not terribly bright where women are concerned. At least not at first. Most of us have to learn, to listen, and to love.”
The last word sent a shiver up my spine. We’d never said that particular word.
“Whether you care for the thought or not, you do love them.” He sounded so matter-of-fact about it. “They clearly love you, though—I disagree with how they show it. There is a saying about a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails when they are younger, it means the boy likes her.”
I made a face. “Yes, though, I find it weird that we encourage the concept of boys being ‘mean’ to prove they like someone.” Jake and Coop never pulled my pigtails, or in my case, my ponytail. Probably because I would have punched them and they knew it.
“It is not so much about encouraging a boy to be ‘mean’ as you say but because we are possessive. We want to be the object of your attention. We like to be pursued.”
That made me laugh . “Seriously?”
“Oh, oui ,” Mathieu said with an easy smile. He pressed a hand to his heart. “We like to be chased, to be adored, to be wanted. That does not mean we don’t like chasing as well.”
“So, it’s okay for you to have other girls?”
“Only if we are both open to such.” He shrugged. “Commitments come in different shapes and sizes. Hmm…” He tapped a finger to his lips. “I am saying this poorly. So let me say it directly, it might be easier for both of us.”
My stomach dropped and my heart pounded. “Okay.”
“Do not react to what you think I am saying, listen to exactly what I say, please?” He brushed a hand against my thigh and I nodded. We were still a good fifteen minutes away from the cafe he’d found.
“I’ll do my best.”
“ Merci .” He took a breath, then said, “We are friends, you and I. We have many things in common and we enjoy talking, learning about each other, and sharing new experiences. Oui ?”
“ Oui .” That was not hard to agree with at all. “You’re a lot of fun.”
He answered me with a grin. “As are you. I have truly enjoyed getting to know you these past few months. Enjoyed that you let me touch you.”
That sent a scalding hot blush racing over my whole body. “No complaints here.” It had been awkward, there was no getting around that.
Another smile. “We have never discussed exclusivity, merely that we continue to enjoy each other.”
There went that sinking feeling again.
“I am not saying we need to discuss it now, however, I will flirt with other women—some men too—it is just how I am.” The directness in the statement wasn’t lost on me. “I will not, however, pursue another sexual relationship without discussing it with you first.”
Oh.
“As I would expect if you wished something similar, you will also discuss it with me.”
“I—”
“This is not judgment, Frankie.” For a moment, it was like he chastised me, no matter how gently. “You told Jake about us because you were in a position where that might have been necessary.”
Grimacing, I nodded. I couldn’t really deny that. “It was—a little out of control.”
“Accepted.” Just like that, no temper at all. “I am only asking if you wish to pursue anything further with any of them, that you let me know first so we may talk. They are not as open as I am. I want you to only have positive experiences.”
Direct. To the point. A shiver raced over my skin. “I really don’t know what I want at the moment.”
“That is fair.” He quieted as I followed the directions to leave the highway and then we were pulling into the parking lot of what looked like a quaint little diner that occupied a corner of the strip mall.
After I parked, I twisted to look at him. “I like you.”
He grinned. “I like you too.”
A laugh escaped me. “Yes, you’ve shown me. We’re being direct, right now?”
“Always.” The emphasis on that word steadied me.
“Then right now, I don’t know what I feel for them. Exactly.” Rachel had called it. I loved them. “They are—they have always been my best friends. I miss them like I’d miss my arms. But the last few months have shown me that we have a lot we’ve never talked about. Jake’s choices yesterday…”
They hurt. A lot.
“What I am trying to say,” I pressed forward, then cleared my throat.
“I don’t want a sexual relationship with anyone else yet.
” It was weird enough to say that, like I might want another at all.
Then all I had to think about was the way Jake had kissed me and…
Yeah. I pushed that out of my head. “I don’t know if that’s going to change.
I don’t know if any of us will forgive each other after yesterday. ”
There were so many issues littering the ground between us. So much fallout.
“You don’t have to decide anything,” Mathieu said, leaning over to cup my face. “But don’t ever be afraid to talk to me.”
“Do you want to be open so you can date others?” It might gut me, but Mathieu didn’t owe me anything.
“Not at the moment,” Mathieu said easily. “No. It will be a decision we make together, Francesca. Or we won’t make it at all. Oui ?”
I hated my full name so much but he made it sound like an endearment. Covering his hand on my cheek, I smiled. “ Oui .”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead, lingering there a moment before dipping to brush another over my lips. “Good. Now, no more worrying or hurting yourself.”
“Deal.” My smile this time was real. “Dinosaur waffles?”
He laughed.
Unbuckling my seatbelt, I shut off the car before I opened the door and we were both climbing out. I let myself believe—for just one morning—that it might really be that simple.