Chapter 15
Nerves bounced around me as I knocked on Azari’s door. I wasn’t even sure if he was in his room. I knew God was looking out for me when Azari answered the door, looking fine as ever.
I gave him a small smile and held up the bag of food the restaurant workers so nicely packaged up for me. “Can I come in?”
Azari nodded and stepped to the side. I walked into his room and looked around.
It looked clean and like I shouldn’t have spent so much time away from it.
Pain pierced my heart as I looked back at him with a guilty expression.
I didn’t know why I felt so sad, suddenly, for asking for space.
It was like my body and heart hadn’t liked the space one bit, and now that I was back in his presence, I felt at home.
“What have you been up to?” I asked after I put the food down on the small round table in his room and sat in an awkward silence for a tad too long.
Azari nodded toward the door. “I was just about to go get some food.”
I beamed; glad I had done something right. “Well, good thing I brought food to you, then, huh?”
He smiled. “Good thing.”
I pulled the food out of the bags, and my stomach growled once again. I’d just gone with some jerk chicken wraps and fries. Something light to hold us over until dinner… assuming he would want to have dinner with me later.
“How’d you know I loved these jerk chicken wraps?” he asked as we sat down at the small table.
“You briefly mentioned the restaurant that made them the other day and said you had to get one before you left. I wanted to try it, too, so I thought this was the perfect opportunity.
“I appreciate it,” he replied.
We ate in silence for a moment.
“This is really good,” I commented.
He nodded. “Can’t get nothing like it back home.”
“I bet I could replicate this recipe,” I replied. I was pretty good at cooking, though I never got the chance to do it anymore. Excitement built up in me as I realized that soon I’d be able to tap back into a lot of things that I loved that had fallen by the wayside.
“Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And am I gonna be able to try that shit out?” he asked.
I knew what he was really asking. I sighed and put my wrap down before I gazed intentionally into his eyes.
“First of all, I’m sorry that I left you in the middle of dinner last night.
You’re right. I am an overthinker, and sometimes it is to my detriment.
But sometimes it simply helps me to gain clarity over my life.
“What I should have told you last night was that I never intended to stop seeing you. So, yes, you can be my taste tester when I try to replicate this recipe.” I gestured toward the food on the table with a smile.
“What I felt confused about was really my career, but that felt so linked to you because depending on what I decided to do with my work would depend on how much time we could spend together.” I cleared my throat before I continued. “I really like you, Azari. Like, a lot.
“It has been a really long time since I’ve even considered a relationship with someone.
Not that I think we are in a relationship, but I hope we can lead up to that.
” I blushed at the glint in his eyes when I said that.
“But I’m grown enough to know that a relationship requires time.
Time that I don’t currently have with my career… a career I’ve worked really hard for.”
“And you know I would never want you to give up a dream for me, right?” Azari asked. He reached over and covered my hands with his.
I smiled sadly. “I know. And I appreciate that, but today I realized that I have more than just one dream. I’ve lived out this dream.
This dream has served its purpose, and now all it’s doing is burning me out.
I’m so tired, Azari. And… and I want a family.
I want love. I want to slow down and enjoy life again.
This vacation has done so much more for me than you realize. It was needed—meeting you was needed.
“I just needed time to make sure I was making these decisions for me and not because my head was in the clouds because you had me feeling so good. I realized that a change of pace is exactly what I want. If you can bear with me for six months or so, then we can really focus on us and see where this can go. I’m not saying we can’t see each other for six months.
I actually want to see you as much as I can, but I know I’ll have to work my ass off to get out from under my firm and to open up my new business. ”
Nerves bounced around me as I waited for Azari to say something. This was still so new, so I didn’t know how he would react to everything I just said.
“You sure that’s what you want?” he asked.
“I’m sure. I feel it in my heart that this is exactly what I need to do, and I’m excited about it.” I squeezed his hands.
He grinned. “I want somethin’ to be clear… we date exclusively for the next six months. You mine. I’m yours. And once you got everything squared away, I’ma officially make you my girl.”
My spirit seemed to spring to life at his words, and I giggled like a damn schoolgirl. “Your girl, huh? You just telling me what’s about to happen? Just like that?” I asked.
“Just like that,” he replied. “In case I haven’t made this clear…
I really like you… a lot, like you said.
” We laughed. “I ain’t had this feeling before, and I want to see where this goes…
how far it’ll go. So, I’m wit’ you, okay?
I’ll help however I can over the next six months and beyond. Ya future man got you.”
I giggled because I knew without a doubt I would be really calling Azari my man way before these six months were up.
I couldn’t explain it, but he felt like home for me, like he was it for me.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with him as I wanted, but I also knew every spare moment would be dedicated to him.
Something within me told me he deserved that, and I also felt like he would make it well worth my time.
“That’s a deal,” I replied. I stood and walked over to him. Once I sat comfortably in his lap, I kissed his lips. When I pulled away, I looked into his eyes. “I missed you.”
He chuckled. “It ain’t even been a full twenty-four hours.”
I playfully sucked my teeth. “So? I can’t miss you?”
He grabbed a handful of my thigh. “Of course you can. I missed you, too, love.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“How much?”
Azari kissed my neck and mumbled, “How about I show you how much?”
Without warning, he lifted me, and I squealed. “What about lunch?”
“I got somethin’ good to eat right here,” he replied as he placed me on the bed.
I giggled. “What am I gonna do wit’ you?”
“Love me,” he replied, and before I could fully process the L word slipping past his lips, he pulled my dress up, moved my thong to the side, and dove headfirst into my pussy.
I moaned in delight as Azari showed me just how much he missed me, and at that moment, I knew that I had made the right choice. Everything I wanted would be mine in due time, and I couldn’t wait.