14. Sam
SAM
I fucking hated holidays.
When I was a kid, it was different. It was just our family. Mom would make a turkey, and everything was perfect. We’d play outside until we were called in for dinner, and then we’d dive into an endless home-cooked meal.
But since my mother died, we’d been a mishmash of haphazard meals that you could barely call home-cooked. We tried, but never truly gained back what we had before Mom died.
And then I started fighting, and my whole world changed. I stopped going home for the holidays. I hardly ever saw my family, and when I did, it was for a short period of time.
Now…
I sighed as I slid my fingers through my hair, watching as the thirty-plus people gathered at the Parker family house. It was chaotic and loud, and too many people were asking about my life, which I really fucking hated.
“Hey, Sam!” Jeff called out from where he was slouched in a chair. “Grab me a beer!”
“Get your own beer,” I grumbled.
He rolled his eyes on a sigh. “I would, if only Ma wasn’t watching my every move. Apparently, I’m not allowed to move from this chair.”
“And I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be drinking,” I said, walking over and swiping the bottle from his hands.
“You wouldn’t be so evil. Taking a man’s only source of comfort is just mean.”
“Well, if I have to be miserable, so should you.”
“Hey, I got this wound in the line of duty!” he said, pulling up his shirt, showing off the scar that was still raised and pink.
“It was hardly the line of duty. And no, I would not make you suffer like I am. If anything, I’m sneaking out of here before I get roped into any more of the festivities.”
He snatched my shirt as I started walking away. “Take me with you,” he pleaded. “I can take the mothering and the overbearing nature of everyone around. But if one more person asks me how I am, I will kill someone.”
“You know, I’d really love to take you with me. Honestly, nothing would make me happier—”
“Sam,” he warned.
And I almost made it, too. If only I hadn’t bumped into the one person who had the power to make me stay.
“Going somewhere, brother?” Blake asked behind me.
My eyes slipped closed as her voice sent dread through me. I was so close.
Jeff chuckled, catching a beer someone threw him. “Bet you wish you had taken me with you now.”
Turning, I put on my best fake smile. After all, I had moved out here to be close to her. At least, that’s what I told myself. I figured she was the lesser of all the evils in my family. My brothers and Dad would have hounded me every day, and that was something I couldn’t take.
“So, a little birdie tells me that you’re boxing again,” she said nonchalantly as she took a sip of her beer.
I narrowed my eyes, wondering how in the hell she knew that when it was strictly on the DL. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really? So, you have no idea how you got those bruises on your knuckles, or why you’ve put on more bulk recently?”
“I’ve been working out. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No, not if it’s just to work out. But word has it that your trainer is in town, and he’s looking at a long-term rental. Why, he even called here, asking about availability on our ranch.”
I cocked my head at her, waiting for her to make her point. “And?”
“And that means you’re training again. And since you swore you wouldn’t put yourself in the ring again when you weren’t at your best, that means you think you’re able to do it.”
I shrugged, glancing away. I wasn’t about to explain myself to her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“So you could run and tell Dad? Or any of our other nosy brothers?”
“Do you really think I’d do that?”
I met her gaze, pissed that she found out. “And now that you know, what’s your plan?”
She slowly took a sip of her beer. “Absolutely nothing. I’ll admit, it stings that you didn’t tell me. I hate that I had to hear it from the gossip mill, but I fully support you.”
My jaw dropped at that. “You do?”
“Of course I do. It’s your life. Do you really think I’m going to tell you not to follow your passion?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me I would only end up hurting myself further.”
“You might. That’s not for me to judge, though. Although, this is good. I can actually make it to one of your fights now,” she grinned.
“Not happening.”
“Why not?”
“Because no one watches my fights.”
“It’s not like you can stop me.”
I barked out a laugh at that. “I can have you banned from the arena.”
Her eyes took on a dark flame that I had seen many times growing up. I was pissing her off, and she wasn’t at all happy with me right now.
“I would like to see you try. I still have contacts.”
“And I still have the ability to have you banned, no matter those contacts.”
“Why don’t you want me to see you fight?”
“Because he’s scared you’ll get all whiny and try to stop him,” Jeff chimed in.
“I take out bad guys for a living. Do you really think I’m afraid of a few hits to my brother’s face?”
“Does this mean I get to go as well?” Jeff asked. “Cuz, I gotta tell ya, we don’t get this entertainment around here very often.”
Blake whipped her head in his direction. “You were just shot. That’s enough entertainment for you.”
“I hardly think getting shot is the same as a boxing match,” he grumbled.
“Geez, when did you become the downer of the group?”
Blake narrowed her eyes at me. “Since he’s my husband’s brother, and I want to make sure he sees his next birthday.”
I rolled my eyes at her dramatics. “He’s not gonna get shot at the arena.”
“Have you heard his mouth? A bullet isn’t going to be what gets him killed,” she shot back.
“You know, I resent it just a little that you have so little faith in me,” Jeff grumbled, but neither of us stopped our bickering.
“If he wants to come to a match, I’ll put him ringside where I can keep an eye on him.”
“You’ll be focusing on your opponent!”
“Seriously, you don’t have to keep an eye on me. I can take care of myself!” Jeff said excitedly, jumping to his feet.
“And if anyone approached him, I would kill them.”
“No need. I’m stronger than I look,” he beamed.
“Stay out of it, string bean.”
“Hey!”
I got in her face since she clearly wasn’t going to listen. “You’re not coming to my match.”
A slow, evil smile crossed her lips. “Fine. I don’t have to go.”
But it wasn’t over. I knew that much without her saying the words.
She took a step back. And then another.
My heart hammered in my chest as I tried to calculate her next move. I had no other family here. There was no one to stop me from what I was doing. So, why did I feel like she was about to blow my world apart?
“Oh, Ma!” she called out in a sing-song voice.
I frowned, not understanding her move.
Then Parker’s mom came rushing around the corner, her hair a frizzy mess from a day of cooking, and her apron filled with bits of ingredients. Suddenly, those holidays from a long time ago came rushing back, their memories assaulting me.
“What is it, dear?”
Blake’s face twisted into a frown, and tears filled her eyes. What the hell was she doing? Blake never cried.
“He’s boxing again!” she cried out, jabbing a finger in my direction. “He swore it was over, and now—” She broke down in hysterical sobs, throwing herself into her mother-in-law’s arms.
I stared at the pair, at a loss for what to do as Mrs. Parker consoled my devious sister. How the hell could this have any effect on my life? These people weren’t my relatives. They had no say in what I did.
And yet, when Mrs. Parker turned her stern face on me, I felt just like a kid again. My balls shriveled up inside me, and the little boy inside me ducked his head in embarrassment.
“Samuel Collins! Do you mean to tell me that you’re boxing again without telling your family?”
“Yes, but—”
“Common courtesy dictates that you should at least let them know your plans,” she chastised, blinking rapidly as she fanned herself.
“I would have, but—”
“Above everything else, you should always think of your family. They love you.” She winced, bending over slightly. That should have been my sign to stop arguing. The woman didn’t look so good, but I was pissed as hell that Blake was using her to interfere.
“It’s my career,” I snapped.
“And they…” Her eyes squeezed tight as she bent over, gasping in pain. She teetered over into Blake’s arms, falling to her knees as she started wrenching.
“Clara!” Blake called out, her eyes wide as she held her. Jeff was on his feet in seconds, rushing over to his mother’s side.
“Parker!” Blake shouted.
Every Parker in the house ran into the room, all of them answering at the same time. But the moment they saw Clara collapsed on the ground with Jeff holding her tight, chaos erupted. Ben was by her side, gripping her hand tightly as he called to her, begging her to stay with him.
Michael was on the phone with the hospital, and Liam was barking orders at Maverick to get the truck and bring it around.
And I just stood there, shocked at the fact that this sweet woman was on the ground when just seconds before, she was talking to me.
“Sam, don’t be mean to your brothers,” Mom scolded me. “You should always take care of your family.”
“But I don’t want to play with them!” I whined.
“Family always takes care of family. Do you hear me?”
Ducking my head, I let out a loud sigh. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Now, take your brothers…”
I glanced up when Mom didn’t finish her sentence. She gripped the back of the kitchen chair, her face pale as she held on for dear life.
“Mom?”
“Call your father.”
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
Her body fell to the ground, collapsing as if the weight of the world was pushing her down. I stared in horror, then ran out the door, terrified I was about to lose my mother.
“Sam!” Blake yelled at me, shaking me out of my stupor. “I’ll call you from the hospital.”
“Right. Go,” I said, shooing her out the door.
As the rest of the guests fled the house, I found myself standing there all alone. Memories that I never wanted to think about assaulted me, reminding me of a time when my life was flipped upside down.
I just couldn’t take it. Couldn’t stand to be alone.