Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
ISAIAH
Come to find out Dr. Temple D’Amico Cavanaugh is Rhiannon’s mother.
Thanks to my meddling assistant, what could have been a perfect opportunity to get my back examined this evening has become a conflict of interest.
I dial Vespa in front of the Cavanaugh sisters.
“Nobody is suing anyone,” I clearly state.
Although I can’t say it in mixed company, I don’t appreciate Vespa conniving to get me back on a plane to Tennessee. And for as conflicted as I am over my role in Kylie’s death, and as much as I miss the woman who was a constant in my life for so many years, I’m goddamn tired of feeling manipulated.
Mentioning to Cassidy that Kylie’s rift from her parents was because they wanted to control her isn’t news to anyone. Even when we were teenagers, Kylie did what she wanted, consequences be damned. I understood she was a product of the environment before our friendship drunkenly changed into friends with benefits.
Having had a stage parent of my own, I was sympathetic to adults trying to live out their fantasies through me. It’s one of the reasons I’m not close with my mother anymore and let her fawn over my stepbrother.
Except, I was never the direct target of Kylie’s worst behavior. So, even when we didn’t see eye to eye about the direction our marriage was taking, I hadn’t felt gaslit by her until the very end.
Vespa’s agitation is clear over speakerphone. I’m aware she’s still likely conspiring to get me on the next plane out of Texas. It makes me more determined to stay.
“I’m sorry. I was out of line.”
We both know her apology is bullshit.
“I’m glad we’re all on the same page. I’ll forgo seeing Dr. Cavanaugh and take the appointment with the other doctor.”
“His answering service said he can’t see you until tomorrow.”
“Fine. Set it up. And email me the tracking info on the parcel I’m expecting. Then maybe take the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth off to spend with your loved ones. I’ll be in touch if I need anything.”
I won’t. Be in touch or need anything that is.
Like I mentioned to Gracyn, experiencing a normal daily holiday alongside her sister is at the top of my wishlist.
What I don’t say to any of these four women? Seeing that crib in the attic was a slap in the face. In less than a second, I endured a piteous reminder that my wife hadn’t seen kids in our future.
It made me angry Kylie left me responsible for her image without thinking twice about the effect it would have on my own. The anger after her death led to indignation over making Kylie’s priorities mine. In my worst moments, I thought I was capable of killing her all over again. Because my conscience won’t allow me closure.
And when the next second ticked forward, all I wanted was something as pure as how it feels to lose myself in Cassidy.
I want her mind, body, and soul, and I want the humdrum details of her past and to experience the exquisite, joyful moments in her future.
Spending time with Cassidy is a brief glimpse of happiness. I selfishly want her to want me. My battered and bruised ego needs a chance with a woman who is smart and sweet. Someone who’s confident, yet humble.
Perhaps the problem I had was the contrast between me and the Sanchezes and Ballentines. They make the difference in their marriages work. Kylie and I couldn’t. Why can’t I have a taste of normal in order to decide if it’s for me? Because seemingly having everything in common with my wife certainly did me no favors.
I hang up with Vespa. Rhiannon is ready to go. I offer to bring the vacuum downstairs and show her out.
Cassidy’s and her older sister’s voices carry down the hall as they exchange final harsh words. For the first time since I arrived, I feel like an outsider and they deserve privacy to settle matters.
“Don’t hold anything against Gracyn.” Rhiannon says after letting me know where the vacuum belongs. We’re trudging down the half circle staircase. “She was a lot more fun before she had kids.”
“I’ve heard parenting does that to a person. Makes them take life seriously.” At least, one would hope.
“Wilder and Emeran, my niece and nephew, are Irish Twins and almost teenagers. If history is any indication, Gracyn’s gotta lot to be fearful of. Although if you ask me, Cass has every right to be peeved. Nobody wants to be scolded by a sibling for something that’s none of their business.”
We land in the foyer and continue conversing.
“I suppose I can see Gracyn’s point that Cassidy’s and my relationship is borderline unprofessional, Rhiannon. We just sort of… Fell into it?” Excuse the term. “Wrong or not, plenty of celebs I know have booked reservations at a ritzy hotel and coerced the maid into dropping her drawers. What’s happening between me and Cassidy isn’t like that at all.”
She grins, her dark brow raising.
“What?”
“So you and Cass have a re-la-tion-ship ?”
“We have a… A something worth exploring.” I hedge, even though I used that exact word.
Rhiannon’s NDA keeps her mum about what she witnesses while taking photographs, so I’m not freaking out over her being loose lipped. I’ll need someone on my side eventually and she is as good as anyone to spill my intentions to. If I can’t trust Cassidy’s best friend, then who am I relying on?
“Welp, if anyone needs to go exploring, it’s Cass. ”
“You aren’t going to give me the ‘if you break her heart, I’ll break your neck’ speech?”
“Don’t be so full of yourself, Roomer.” She pats my face, articulating a fear that’s taking root. “A Cavanaugh lies underneath Cassidy’s adorable and gracious exterior. Don’t underestimate a woman with the power to snap you like a twig.” Rhiannon spins on her heel with a finger wave goodbye. “Catcha later.”
I blow out a breath when the door shuts. Shaking some sense into myself, I stow the vacuum in the closet and take the steps two at a time back up to Cassidy’s suite. I close the door so she doesn’t wonder where I am or if I’m eavesdropping. Then I kick my feet up and open my notebook to scribble a few lines that began swirling through my head when Rhiannon scolded me.
Hand to God, I’ve never felt less like a celebrity and more like an average man than I do with Cassidy. Putting aside what I’ve been through, everything about her makes me wonder if I’m good enough. If I was a nobody who met her in a bar would she refuse to dance with me or pretend she was shy if I asked for her number? Would Rhiannon be as protective of her as she was during our little chat? How far would things go between us? Because in any other circumstance I can’t see any way in hell that I’d be living out of a suitcase in Cassidy’s room after a day of knowing her.
And why does a day in Cassidy’s company feel like I’ve known her a lifetime?
The next thing I know, I’m staring at a full page of lyrics, humming an upbeat tune about the provocative girls guys chase with their tongues hanging out. The ones that challenge a man’s preconceptions with brains and beauty. The woman who you completely miscalculate. Who you’re damn sure is a wallflower, needing to be drawn from her shell. Then she jumps on stage with her friends to sing karaoke at the top of her lungs without missing a beat. Or who accepts the bet with a glimmer in her eye and hands you the 8-ball to break. But what you don’t know is she can run the pool table and you’ve just handed over your balls. Double or nothing, she’s taking your heart along with them.
While I’ve used a bit of the personality of each woman I’ve met at the ranch, all of the idiosyncrasies are things I’ve seen in Cassidy. Her eyes, her smile, her tenacity and heart. The way she shoots from the hip. And perhaps a little bit of her wild side. I’ve watched my girl touch herself, there’s no denying Cass knows she’s sexy.
Why am I pretending I’m sticking around for her family’s holiday party? From the moment Cris said to use the idea of falling in love to revive the energy for writing a love song, I’ve been writing love songs with Cassidy in mind.
Kissing her makes me want to fuck her until she’s on the brink, screaming my name the way she had the second time I took her to bed last night. I want her thrashing underneath me when I ease up and won’t let her get there. I want to tease her into submission. For her feisty side to get fed up with my demands and for her to shove me onto my back and climb on top. I want to feel her slick pussy slide down my cock and massage her tits as they jut out when her head falls back in divine surrender. I want her to ride me until her cunt clamps down and, spent, I can’t do anything more than endure the lingering pulsing between her legs.
Afterwards, I want Cassidy to look at me the way she talks about this ranch—like I’m her whole goddamned world and the only thing she’s ever known.
Maybe she started as a muse, but the attraction I swiftly began to feel toward Cassidy is like none other.
The knob turns and I tent my legs, I set my notebook to the side. Cassidy enters with her shoulders slumped. I chew on my pen waiting for her to speak. She lowers herself to sit at my feet, one knee pointed in my direction
“Well, that was… embarrassing,” she sighs. “I wouldn’t blame you if you high-tailed it out of here after all” her hands wave in the air, “that.”
“It’ll take more than one of your sisters being concerned about safety and the other one wanting to make sure that I’m leaving you sexually satisfied to run me out of town.”
I’m used to drama. I could fill her in on celebrity bad behavior. Not that I will.
For better or worse, “Chou, what do I need to do to convince you that I’m not leaving anytime soon?” I toss the pen atop the notebook. Touching her knee, I try to alleviate her concerns.
Cassidy ducks her face to her hands. Her groan changes into a loud, irritated growl. “I’m overthinking. Again. It doesn’t seem to take much, huh? And it isn’t your fault that one minute I’m all in and the next I’m freaking out like my car is stuck on the railway tracks with a runaway train approaching.” She presses her fingertips to her forehead like she has a migraine. “Let’s do what we said we were doing with no expectations. This is my vacation week!” Her frustrated voice raises at the end of the sentence.
I shimmy closer and slide my hand onto her hip. “How about we agree that my sole reason for being here is to make your holiday fun, Cass? But you should also know, on a personal level, I’m looking forward to our New Year’s date and everything in between.”
“Okay. But I’m suggesting we don’t have sex again until you see the doctor and we’re sure the fall didn’t do any permanent damage.”
“To my back? It’s a bruise. It’ll be fine.”
“ Nah. To your brain.” She makes me laugh. “I would’ve thought it knocked some sense into you. What’s so special about celebrating a Cavanaugh Christmas at Kingsbrier?”
“You.”
I fall back onto the pillows dragging her with me so Cassidy straddles my lap. I cup my hands around her palms that she’s using to steady herself on my chest.
That’s how it feels being with Cassidy. Steady as a stream. Like we’re both floating in the same direction. I just hope I haven’t gotten it wrong and when the river begins flowing swiftly we’re still able to hold onto one another.