5. CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 5
ARI
“ S ixteen is not a fun age to be,” Ethan says as our knees knock together on the bus. “It’s like, adulthood is just within reach, and yet I still can’t do anything.”
“Try being barely fifteen,” I counter. “I can hardly stay out past dark.”
Zipping our coats as we get off the bus, we rush to the school doors. It’s a short walk, but it’s January in western New York and the wind chill is not friendly. “Later, gator!” Ethan calls over his shoulder as he makes a right inside the high school and I go left.
First period is social studies, which I find plain boring. Then I have math class with Chloe and her witch of a friend whose name I can never remember. But then I start heading to gym class, which is with Elena and Jessica, and I know I’ll be wishing I was back in math class.
Exiting the locker room, I’m told that Mr. Undermire requested I run indoor track with the upperclassmen, if I want to. And I want to.
Entering the gym, Mr. Undermire gives me a nod and a smile. I smile back, and it feels like a secret language. He knows I’m fast. He’s seen me running laps around the track some afternoons when I don’t want to go home. We start with drills, go into sprints, then break out into relay groups. And I blow the other girls out of the water every time.
Sweating and breathing hard and enjoying my success, I stop when catcalls come from the door leading out to the hallway. “Ow owwww!” I hear as a group of guys stops to look in. “Hey, ladies! I can get you all worked up if you want!” one boy yells.
I start to turn away but hear, “Hey, Red, I remember you.”
Ethan’s friend Sean waves at me, and I give a tight smile in return. His eyes travel up and down my body, and I suddenly feel self-conscious. A sports bra is showing under my tank top, and my shorts are too short because I sprouted like three inches last year. Lena’s been saying she’ll take me out to buy more but hasn’t.
“How’ve you been? It’s Ari, right?”
I just look at the floor. Mr. Undermire notices the distraction and comes jogging over. “Alright, gentlemen, that’s enough. Ladies, it’s time to get changed for your next class.”
We all head into the locker room. No matter how much I sweat, I never shower after gym class—as if we even have time. So, I pull on my jeans and a thin blue cardigan that Lena passed down, and pull my hair out of its ponytail, weaving it into a side braid. I’m carrying my gym clothes in a ball in front of me as I head out of the locker room and smash right into Sean.
“Oh, shit, sorry!” He picks up the shorts I dropped. “I was waiting for you.”
I turn and look behind me, but no one is there. “Uh, thanks?” I can see the group of guys he was with before, congregating behind him, glancing our way every so often.
“You’re fast,” he says, placing a hand on the wall behind my head and leaning in. “I saw you leaving all those other girls in the dust.”
“Fast girl!” one of the boys yells.
Sean rolls his eyes. “That guy’s a douche, don’t listen to him. He flunked out of kindergarten, but the teachers hated him so much they passed him, and they just keep passing him so they can get rid of him.” That makes me giggle. “Ah, there it is.” Sean uses a knuckle to lift my chin. “That’s what I wanted to see, that smile.”
His flirting makes me smile even wider, and I know the moment his friends see my broken tooth because they start to snicker.
“Hey, Sean, better not let Red go down on you with that snaggletooth. She’ll take a bite out of your dick!” one guy shouts while the rest of them hoot and holler. That draws the attention of nearby students who start to gather around. Mortified, I keep my head down and try to go around Sean, but again, he stops me.
“Don’t listen to them, they’re just perverts. They talk that way all the time. It’s not you.”
“Hey, Sean,” another one starts in. “Is red her natural color? You know how to find out, right?”
This time I’m successful in pushing past Sean, but he reaches out and grabs my wrist to pull me back. “Ari, wait—”
Suddenly he is ripped back, his grip on my wrist broken as I spring free, and he’s shoved against a locker and Ethan is there, in his face. “Don’t you ever put your hands on her!” he grits out through clenched teeth, spit flying in Sean’s face.
“Hey, I was just—”
Ethan grabs Sean by the collar of his shirt, pulls him off the locker and slams him back against it. “You were just what? Letting your dickhead friends make comments about her?”
“Ethan!” I shout, but he’s too enraged to hear me. His forearm presses into Sean’s neck as anger radiates off him.
I spin and push my way through the crowd to get away from the scene, dropping my dirty gym clothes along the way. Once I’m out of the crowd, I hear Ethan’s voice behind me. “Ari!”
I don’t stop.
“Hey.” He jogs up and stops in front of me, placing his hands on my upper arms. “Are you OK? What happened? Did he hurt you? Where are you going?”
Pulling away, I run my hands up and down my arms. “Is that it? Is that all your questions?”
“I’m serious.” Ethan rests his hands on his hips. “What did he do to you? What did he say?”
“Nothing that I haven’t heard before.” I try to step around him, but Ethan stops me, and I back away from his touch. “You’re making it worse,” I hiss.
“What? How?”
“You’re just drawing more attention to me! And you’re acting … You’re just …” When I can’t finish my sentence, Ethan takes a step closer and bends his knees a little so he can look me in the eye.
“I’m what?”
I look at him. Really look at him. I stare into his chocolate brown eyes, see the dip of the scar on his lip, and for the first time in Ethan’s presence, I’m sad. I look down at the ground, but hear his words. “Talk to me, Ari.”
“I’ve never seen you violent before. And I don’t like it.” I dart my eyes up to his and see the shock in them. “I see enough violence. It’s not supposed to come from you. You’re supposed to be my safe place.”
While Ethan stands in front of me, stunned, I take the opportunity to step around and make my way down the hall.
This time he doesn’t follow.
ETHAN
I’ve felt like shit ever since Ari walked away from me. I didn’t want to go back to class, so I caught a ride with a buddy from the football team who offered to drop me home at lunchtime. Of course, Ari would be disturbed by seeing me act like that. But I couldn’t not react. I thought Sean was a cool dude. In fact, I’m sure he has his eye on Ari.
I drag my hands down my face. Good God, the idea of Sean pursuing her makes me murderous.
Laying on my bed and staring up at the ceiling, I’m wondering how to make this whole clusterfuck better when my phone chimes with a text message. It’s from Catherine.
I’m at your door.
Huh?
I jog to the front door, opening it to find Catherine standing there in her tight jeans and puffy jacket, hands stuffed in her pockets as her backpack hangs from her shoulder.
“Hey,” she says. “Uh, sorry to just drop by, but I heard about the fight with Sean—”
“It wasn’t a fight. I mean, it wasn’t like we threw punches.”
“Right … Well, whatever it was, I heard about it, and I wanted to see if you were alright.”
“Uh, yeah. I’m fine. Like I said, it didn’t come to swings.”
“OK.” She looks around. “Well, I guess I’ll go.”
I look outside to see if there’s a car in the driveway, which there isn’t. “How did you get here?”
“Oh, um, I took your bus. But I’ll just head over to Fonz’s house. He wanted to get off with me, but I told him I wanted to come alone …” She lets the sentence drift off and linger in the air for a moment as she stares at me.
Oh !
“Well,” I say, gripping the back of my neck with one hand. “Look, just come inside. It’s too cold to walk over to Fonz’s house. My mom will be home in a bit, and she’ll let me use her car.” I move to the side and let Catherine enter.
“You have your driver’s license? I’m so jealous. I can’t wait to get mine.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not really too useful if you don’t have your own car.” Catherine laughs lightly, and I look around and click my tongue. “You, uh, want the grand tour?” I raise my arms wide. “This here is the main living area. As you can see, it connects right to the kitchen-slash-dining area.” Catherine smiles at my dramatic tour guide personality, and I wave for her to follow me down the hall. “On this wing of the abode we have the master bedroom where my parents fight—I mean sleep.” She laughs. “That is followed by the bathroom, and then on the other side is my quarters.”
We walk into my room and Catherine looks around, letting her backpack slip to the ground. “This is very … boyish.”
“Ari said something like that the first time she was in here.”
Catherine swings her head toward me. “Ari’s been in here?”
“Yeah,” I shrug.
“Oh. I didn’t realize you guys were so close.”
“Well, she’s my best friend.”
Catherine nods. “So, is she like … a sister?”
I think about it for a moment. “No,” I answer truthfully. “Not a sister, just someone I care about, I guess.”
“Oh.” Catherine perches on the edge of my bed, and I sit down next to her. Our shoulders brush, and I realize she still has her heavy coat on. “You want to take your coat off?”
She doesn’t answer, but starts unzipping it, then pulls her arms out and tosses it on the bed behind us. She’s left in a tight, soft-knit peach sweater that hugs her body. Suddenly my mouth is dry, and my heart is hammering in my chest.
“I was worried about you, Ethan,” she says quietly, looking me in the eyes. “I feel bad everyone always turns out to be jerks. You’re such a nice guy. You don’t deserve to have your so-called friends turn on you.”
“They didn’t turn on me. They were just messing with Ari and it pissed me off. You know she hasn’t had it easy, and the last thing she needs is some shitheads making life harder for her.”
Catherine smiles and looks down, then back up at me as she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “That’s what I mean.” She looks at my lips. “You’re a good guy. It’s nice. Refreshing. It’s … hot.”
I know what she’s doing. I haven’t fooled around with a lot of girls, but I’ve been around enough to know she wants me to kiss her. And I think I want to kiss her, too.
“Ethan,” she says, but before she can continue I lean in and press my lips to hers. It’s a little pathetic, at first. I use so much force that I press her back a little, and stay there for a second. But then my brain starts functioning again. I pull back just enough to lighten the pressure, and move my lips. But she’s the one who plunges her tongue inside my mouth.
Oh!
Her hands come up and grip either side of my face, and my hands wrap around her upper arms. We keep kissing, and for just a moment I open my eyes, to see what her face looks like—to make sure she’s into it—and a flash of red catches the corner of my eye. I pull away from Catherine and look up to see Ari at the window. Shocked.
“Shit!” I say as Ari darts away from the house.
“What?” Catherine gasps, her hands still cradling my face. “What’s wrong?”
“N— Nothing. I just …”
She tries to kiss me some more, but I can’t get the hurt look on Ari’s face out of my mind, so I pull back. “I’m sorry. Ari was at the window, and she saw …” I wave my hand back and forth between the two of us.
“OK. So, Ari saw us kissing. Big deal.”
“It’s just, I’m afraid her feelings will be hurt.” I pull back further and sit at the edge of the bed.
“Why would her feelings be hurt, Ethan? I thought you said she was your friend.”
“She is.”
“Just your friend.”
“She is. But I told her to come to my window if she ever needs me, and she doesn’t do it often so I’m worried she needs me now. I have to go check on her.” I stand and reach for my hoodie. “I’ll only be a few minutes. Just wait for me here. Like I said, I’ll drive you to Fonz’s as soon as my mom is home.”
Catherine looks offended as she smooths her hair. “Actually, I’m just gonna walk.” She reaches for her coat and slides her arms into it.
“Cat, it’s freezing out. Seriously, I’ll drive you.”
“Honestly, Ethan, I’d rather walk than sit here and wait for you to go check in on Ari and then come back here for me.”
I close my eyes as she pushes up off the bed, scoops her backpack up, and heads down the hallway.
“Catherine.” She stops but doesn’t turn around. “I’m sorry. I like you. I really do. It’s just, well, Ari needs me.”
I can see Catherine nodding her head, even from behind. “I don’t resent you, Ethan,” she says without turning around. “It’s nice to be needed.”
As soon as Catherine leaves, I step into my boots, pull my hood up, and head out the door to jog over to Ari’s house. Lena’s car is in the driveway, so she must be home, but I don’t see Axel’s car. Looking in the window, I only see Ari. She’s lying in bed, her back to the window. I tap on the glass and see her spine straighten, but she doesn’t roll over. I tap again, louder this time.
Still without a response, I tap to the tune of “Do You Know the Muffin Man” until finally she turns and glares at me. I wave her over to the window.
She shakes her head.
I smash my lips together and wave her over more aggressively, and she shakes her head more vehemently. With my pointer and middle finger, I point to my eyes, then to her, then hook my thumb over my shoulder.
She rolls her eyes and gives me one finger. The middle one.
“Ari!” I whisper-shout. “Get your ass out here or God help me I will find an open window and climb inside!”
Ari appears to let out a huff, then kicks off all her blankets, dramatically gets out of bed, and stomps across the living room. I walk over to the door and stand on my tippy toes to look inside and watch as she makes a spectacle out of putting on her boots, lacing them all the way up, sliding on her jacket, buttoning every freakin’ button, pulling a knit hat over her head—leaving her red hair spilling out underneath—and securing mittens on each hand.
It makes me laugh. So, of course, when Ari finally opens the door, I’m standing there laughing.
She goes to shut it in my face.
“Wait.” I stop the door with my boot, and she gives me a glare. “Get your ass out here. We need to talk.”
“Why don’t you talk to Catherine? Oh, wait, it’s kinda hard to talk when you’ve got your tongue rammed down her throat, huh?” I lightly grip her upper arm and lead her outside, and she closes the door. I guide us as we sit on the top step, side-by-side. “So, are you two, like, dating?”
“No. I didn’t invite Catherine over. She came to check on me. And I certainly didn’t mean to kiss her, it just happened.”
Ari scoffs. “Yeah, well, it sure looked like you were enjoying yourself.”
“Ari, I’m a teenage guy. You think I don’t kiss girls or, you know, mess around with them?”
She picks at a piece of lint on her jeans with mitten-covered fingers. “No. I was just surprised.”
“Well, so was I, actually. Like I said, I didn’t plan for it to happen.”
“Sorry I interrupted. Would you have like, you know … had sex, if I hadn’t?”
I run my hands down my thighs. “I don’t know. I didn’t have a plan. But, you know … I’m a guy and some things, I guess, feel good. Shit, it’s weird talking about it like this.”
“It’s OK. We don’t have to talk about it.”
“No, Ari. We talk about everything.”
“And like you said, it’s not like I expect you haven’t kissed girls before. You probably assume I haven’t kissed any boys before.”
I whip my face toward hers and pull back a little as I take that punch to the gut. “Have you?”
She shrugs.
“Ari, who the hell have you been kissing?”
She lets out a breath and flushes a little. “No one, OK? I haven’t been kissed, yet. Are you happy?”
“Yes, actually, I am.”
She looks like she’s feeling a little pathetic, which is not at all what I was going for. “Look, Ari, kissing is supposed to be something fun, and meaningful, and passionate. And there’s supposed to be fireworks and lightning and butterflies and all sorts of other shit detonating in your body when it happens. It’s not supposed to be just, you know, because someone seems like they’re willing.”
She nods, and we sit for a moment before hearing Axel’s car coming down the road, so I stand to put some distance between us.
Axel stops his noisy car in the driveway and exits. “What the hell is this stray doing here?” he asks Ari, pointing at me.
“It’s a pleasure seeing you this evening, too,” I reply at the same time Ari says, “He was just leaving, sir.”
“Good riddance,” he mumbles under his breath, stepping past Ari and going inside, leaving the door open, obviously meaning she should follow.
She stands up as I ask, “We good?”
She nods but doesn’t go inside.
“What is it?” I ask.
Ari looks at me and her green eyes hold mine. “Were there butterflies?” I pull my brows together in question. “When you kissed Catherine. Were there butterflies, and lightning and fireworks and all that stuff?”
I look up at the sky and ask myself those questions. Then I look back at Ari. “No, Red, there weren’t.”