7. CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 7
ETHAN
A pparently the kiss didn’t change anything. For Ari, that is.
For me it changed a lot, but of course I won’t let it show.
After the school year ended and throughout the summer before my senior year, I continued to check in on Ari when Axel was on a bender, or if she got home late and he would be waiting for dinner, or if he was otherwise unhappy. This evening, I heard and then saw Axel screaming at her for leaving her bike in the driveway.
I send Ari a text as I change out of my sweaty clothes from baseball practice.
You OK?
Yes, Mr. Worries a Lot
I smirk, and as I’m headed into the kitchen to help my mom set the table for dinner I type a response.
Just checking. Axel sounded like he was going to blow a gasket
Her reply is immediate and accompanied by a laughing face emoji.
He was. Why do you think I left my bike in the driveway?
I roll my eyes. Ari has been doing that lately—pushing Axel’s buttons, like she’s just trying to piss him off. It horrifies me and also makes pride bloom in my chest. It’s her way of giving him the middle finger. But mostly it keeps me up at night, worried she’s going to push too far.
Also, at some point, she stopped calling him Papa.
“What’s that look for?” Mom interrupts my thoughts as I slip my phone into my pocket. I shake my head, like it’s nothing. “Is that Ari?”
“Yeah. I heard Axel going off earlier, so I was just checking in on her.”
“Hmm.” Mom hands me a pile of plates as I approach, then turns back to the stove to stir the pasta sauce. My mom is beautiful. She has glossy brown hair that just barely touches her shoulders, and I don’t think she wears any makeup, but her skin glows nonetheless. “She’s not your responsibility, Ethan.” Her voice comes from behind me as I set the table. “You realize that, right?”
Folding paper napkins, I place them next to the three plates on the table. “Huh?”
Mom turns the burner off, rests her hip against the counter, and crosses her arms over her chest. “I love that you look out for Ari. I love that you are the kind of young man who won’t just stand by while someone gets hurt. And I know you can see she’s turning into a beautiful young woman.”
“Mom, can we not—”
“She’s not leaving anytime soon, Ethan,” Mom says with finality, and I turn to look at her. “You graduate this year. You’re hoping for a baseball scholarship. I wish we could afford to send you to any college you want, but we can’t. At least with a scholarship you may be able to have your pick from any state school. But Ari will still be in high school next year.”
“I know.” A moment goes by, and I add, “I never really decided if I even want to go to college. I mean, Fonz is going to start learning from his dad while going to community college. I could do something similar.”
Mom’s steps falter as she carries the pot of pasta over to the table and places it on a potholder, as if she can’t believe what she’s hearing. Turning and smoothing her hands over her thighs, she approaches me, clearing her throat. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe Ari would have left by now—would have called the police or reported that monster to the Department of Social Services and had him arrested for child abuse—if she wasn’t afraid that doing so meant she couldn’t see you every day?”
The revelation hits me in the gut. Mom knows, but she keeps going. “Ethan, honey, sometimes the best way to protect the people we love is to walk away. Staying here, making her feel protected—falsely protected—may only be keeping her in that man’s grasp.”
I am speechless as the front door opens and Dad’s footsteps sound behind me. “Oh, thank God dinner is ready. I’m starving. There was a crash on the parkway and traffic was backed up.” He keeps going, but I can’t hear him as the pulse in my ears gets louder.
Mom pats my cheek and I see her mouth the words think about it as she walks away.
ARI
Even though it’s only the first week of September, it’s hot as hell. Especially inside the house. An Indian summer is what Lena called it. I call it insufferable.
Despite only wearing a sports bra and gym shorts, I’m sweating over the stove because—regardless of the heat—Axel still wants a hot dinner. I have my hair in a pair of braids and feel sweat dripping down the center part of my scalp.
Axel’s arrival is announced with the slam of the front door. Lena is already home, having arrived a few minutes ago and heading straight for the shower. I hear a thud and turn to see Axel has stumbled into the couch. Steadying himself against the armrest as he tries to take off his work boots, he looks up and sees me. “Be a doll an’ c’mere and help yer old man get these things off, would’ya,” he slurs.
Aggravated, I walk over and kneel down, grabbing one of his unlaced boots and pulling three times before the boot comes loose and I go flying back and land on my butt. Axel chuckles because he’s drunk.
That gets me laughing, too.
I get back on my feet and bend over, hinging at the hips, to unlace his other shoe and yank that one, which comes off much easier. He laughs again, and so do I, while leaning over to pick up his boots and toss them toward the door. I feel a quick, hard swat on my butt and turn quickly to see Axel looking at me … strangely.
“What’s that little getup you got on there, girl?” His eyes fall down my body, causing me to cross my arms over my chest. “I saw you stompin’ ’round the yard with dat boy across the street. He gettin’ some, huh?”
I quickly walk over to the stove and stir the rice again, goosebumps crawling up and down my arms. I feel him approach behind me.
“You know,” he begins, and I spin around to face him, cowering under this new glare he’s giving me. Again, he looks me up and down, his eyes catching on my sports bra. Alcohol wafts off his breath and tickles my face. “Redheads are known for being feisty.” He reaches up and takes the end of one of my braids in his hand, using it like a paintbrush to draw a line over my collarbone. “Are you feisty, Arlene? Is that why you’re prancing around here in underwear? You trying to get my attention?”
The hiss of the rice bubbling over breaks his attention, and Axel drops my hair as I spin and turn the burner off and move the pot of rice over. He presses in closer behind me, placing a hand on my hip. Burying his nose at my neck, he inhales, then turns and walks away. I hear the sound of the shower get louder when Axel opens the door to the bathroom, and he says, “Lena, baby, here I come!”
Letting out a breath, I run over to the dresser and grab a T-shirt—the first one I find—and tug it over my head, then pull off my shorts and put on a pair of pajama pants. I’m going to sweat to death but don’t care; at least I won’t be inviting his filthy paws on my body again.
We eat dinner like nothing happened. Axel and Lena watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune while I sit at the table and pretend to do homework. Once they go to bed, I wait until Axel’s snores drift down the hall, then go into the bathroom. In the medicine cabinet, I find the scissors Lena uses to trim her hair. Holding them, I stare at myself in the tri-fold mirror. Oddly, this hurts just as much as some of the hardest hits I’ve taken from Axel, so I move quickly before losing my courage.
With three squeezes of my hand, I saw the scissors through one braid it until the tension breaks and my hand falls away with it, and the hair left attached to my head unravels in a short, choppy mess. I do the same with the other side, dropping the discarded braids on the floor and placing the scissors on the top of the sink.
I climb into bed, sweating in my pajama pants, and this time keep my back to the wall and my eyes open until the sun comes up.
***
“Morning, Red!” Ethan chirps, bounding down the front stoop. “What’s with the ball cap today?”
Gripping the shoulder straps of my backpack, I look down at my feet and lie to him as we each approach the bus stop. “I have a serious case of bedhead.”
He hands me a waffle that’s partly wrapped in a napkin, then taps his own to mine in cheers and we both take a bite.
We ride to school as usual and head our separate ways once we get there, and I’m thankful Ethan’s not around when the first insults come.
“You know, Arlene, hiding that hideous mop of yours under a hat doesn’t make you look any less ugly,” Elena snarls as she walks by and flips the bill of my cap up, causing it to fly off my head, exposing my uneven tresses. She and her evil little sidekicks laugh like a bunch of hyenas, pointing at me as they call attention to us.
“Oh, wow,” adds Jessica. “Did you have a run-in with Edward Scissorhands?” The whole crowd cackles, and I just stand there and take it. Let them get it all out. Maybe if they exhaust all their insults now they can get on with their day.
“Yeah,” Elena starts in, “she can’t afford a real haircut because she really is just poor white trash.”
I look up and am horrified to see Sean in the crowd just staring at me pitifully. He’s not laughing, but he’s not defending me, either. Slowly, trying not to let these people know they get to me, I reach down and pick up the hat, place it back on my head, turn and—still slowly—brush past the crowd and out the doors of the school.
For once, I’m too exhausted to run. Instead, I make my way to the football field, climb to the top of the bleachers, and let the backpack slide off my shoulders. I look over the fence at the ground, imagining I’m standing on a bridge and wondering if I would have the courage to jump.
Stepping down and sitting on the top bench, I turn and lay back, bringing my feet up.
My phone vibrates in my backpack. Obviously it’s Ethan, since he’s the only one who has the number. It stops and then starts again, but I don’t have the energy to answer it. At least two gym classes use the track before I hear steps coming up the stairs and stop by my head, and a thud of what I assume is a backpack hitting the stands. My eyes open to see Ethan’s upside-down face inches from mine, his unruly brown hair hanging down and framing his eyes.
“Cheese and rice, Ari! I’ve been looking all over for you! Why haven’t you answered your phone? How long have you been up here? What are you doing?” When I don’t answer, he sighs and sits down next to me, gently lifting my head and sliding over so he’s cradling it in his lap. “Sean told me the girls were giving you hell, again. What was it today? They don’t like your clothes? You showed them up in class?”
Ethan adjusts my head and my hat falls off. He grabs it before it hits the floor and places it on the bleacher next to him, and starts running his fingers through my hair. I wait for him to notice.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi …
“What the—?” He gently grabs a handful of my cropped hair. “Ari, who did this?”
I sit up as he swivels, raising a leg and swinging it to the other side of the bleacher so he’s straddling it, facing me. I keep looking forward, gripping the seat with my hands at my sides, knowing how ugly I look. Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry.
“Ari, who did this to you? Because I swear to God, I don’t care if it was a girl, I will beat the shit out of her—”
“I did it. I cut it.”
“But, why?”
I swallow. “Last night, Axel … he made me, um, uncomfortable, I guess.”
Ethan furrows his brows. “Uncomfortable?”
“He … ” I look away. “He looked at me, like, you know, at me. And then he, like, touched my hair and my, um …” I bring my hand up to my collarbone. Out of the corner of my eye I see understanding cross Ethan’s face, and his Adam’s apple bobs with a hard swallow as he runs his hands through his hair.
I know he’s trying to keep his voice steady and his demeanor calm as he asks, “Ari, did he—”
“No!” I practically shout. “No, he didn’t. He just said something, and he, well, actually he did—”
“He what?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing,” I backtrack.
“It’s not nothing, Ari. Tell me exactly what happened.” Ethan gets up and paces before facing me again, hands on his hips. “Ari.” I keep my gaze fixed on the field. “Red.” I peek over at him. “Tell me.”
I lick my dry lips. “He swatted my ass and said something about prancing around in front of him. Then he, like, twirled my hair in his fingers and trailed it across my chest.”
A line of red creeps up Ethan’s neck and face until it recedes into his hairline, and his jaw clenches tight. “Fuck!” Reaching down to grab his backpack, he hurls it down the bleachers, then spins around and kicks the fence at the top, over and over again.
“Ethan!” I yell. “Stop it! You’re going to hurt yourself!” I spring up and wrap myself around him from behind. My arms snake around his middle, my cheek presses into his back. His lungs expand and his back arches with it. Once, twice, and on the third intake, he spins and wraps his arms around my shoulders, cradling my head in one of his big hands, smushing my face into his chest.
We stand like that for a few moments before he speaks. “You cannot stay there.” I try to pull back, but he won’t let me. “Ari, listen to me. If that’s the direction his behavior is headed, he’s not going to stop. You have to leave.” He must be able to feel me shaking my head before he pulls back and holds me at arm’s length, his hands on my shoulders. “What are you going to do when he does make an advance on you, huh? Are you going to fight him off? He’s a brick shithouse, Ari. You have to get out of there.”
I pull out of his grip, and although it’s completely unreasonable, I’m angry with him. “I don’t want to go.”
Ethan closes his eyes, then sits back down on the top bleacher. Still standing behind him, I tangle my fingers in front of me. “After this year I just have one more year of school and then I can move out.” Ethan doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t move. “I plan to get my driver’s license, and an after-school job to save up money for an apartment.” He is quiet and still. “Ethan, are you mad at me?”
There’s a sharp intake of air then, slowly, Ethan stands and turns to look at me. “Why would I possibly be mad at you, Red?”
I grab my hat off the bleacher and put it back on, attempting to hide my hideous new look. “Because I’m always causing you trouble. I mean, look at you now—you’re skipping class to talk to me. You’re going to get into trouble for it.”
“I don’t give a shit about getting into trouble, Ari.” He steps over the top bleacher and comes to stand next to me, resting his elbows on the fence at the top of the stands and looking out. “But I shouldn’t be skipping classes, since I’m trying to get into college, you know? Hopefully I’ll get a baseball scholarship, but still, I have to have the grades too. I applied to SUNY New Paltz, and Albany.”
My eyes bug out of my head and my mouth goes dry. “Those are like, hours away,” I say with a trembling voice.
“Yeah, well, I kind of want to get away from my dad, you know.” I find that odd since his dad has done quite the turnaround over the past few years and Ethan now has a much better relationship with him.
“Oh.”
Ethan gives me the side-eye. “Yeah, so, I would feel bad leaving you here knowing Axel is still, well, himself.”
Silence settles between us, so I turn away and take a few steps. My head spins. Of course he’s going away to college. What did I think was going to happen? He was going to stick around while I finish school and we run off together?
I hear Ethan shuffle. “I mean, nothing is final, yet. It’s just stuff I’m thinking about, you know? I might stick around still. Either way, I need to know you’re safe. And you’re not safe there, Ari.” I nod but don’t turn around. “Shit, Ari, look at me, will you? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring all this stuff up now.”
Gathering myself, I take a breath and turn around to face Ethan. “No, it’s fine. I figured you would be going to college. I mean, obviously. I guess I just didn’t think about where you would be going. But those are great schools. And if you can get a baseball scholarship, that’s great!”
I give a fake smile and reach down for my backpack. “Look, I better head to class. As it is, I’m going to get into trouble for missing two classes today. Or three. I’m not even sure what time it is.”
Ethan takes a step toward me. “Red.”
“I’m fine, Ethan. Really. I was just feeling bad about those stupid girls but I’m used to them by now. Whatever. I’ll be fine.”
He might call out for me as I descend the stairs. He might not. I can’t hear past the pulse thundering in my ears as my world comes crashing down.
ETHAN
My mind is on Ari the rest of the day, and after a buddy drops me off at home, I walk by the window of her house but don’t see her inside. I even knock but no one answers.
When she doesn’t respond to my texts, I send a message to Fonz.
Did Ari take the bus home with you?
His response comes a moment later.
Here now. Said the bitches at school gave her crap for her hair. She’s having dinner with us. Helping mom in the kitchen now. They’re talking about the cute gym teacher and laughing
I put my phone back in my pocket and walk aimlessly toward my house, deep in thought, but am distracted by the sound of tires crunching on gravel as Axel pulls into his driveway. Anger crawls up my spine like King Kong climbing the Empire State Building, and my insides tighten and twist with pure hatred for that wicked man.
Before I know it, I’m marching in his direction.“Hey! Axel!”
He unfolds his huge frame from the driver’s seat and shuts the door behind him. “Ethan?” I’m pretty sure it’s the first time he’s said my name instead of calling me “boy.” I stop in front of him but don’t say anything. After a moment he raises a brow at me. “Do you need something?”
Recalling the look on Ari’s face today as she told me how he treated her, what he clearly wanted out of her, and knowing what he’s capable of, I tell myself that no matter how big he is, my anger is bigger. Stronger. More powerful.
“Keep your hands off Ari.” Axel’s eyes shoot up and he draws his head back. “I don’t want to see another bruise on her. I don’t want to look in that window”—I point my finger at his house—“and see you touching her. And I don’t want to hear you screaming at her from next door.”
Axel’s mouth slowly curls into a grin and the bastard chuckles. Rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb, he looks at me. “You’ve got balls, boy. I’ll give you that.” He steps around me.
“I’m serious!” I step into his path and, without realizing what I’m doing, push his chest. Since he’s not expecting that, it causes him to take a step back.
Axel looks down at where my hands landed on him, then back up at me. “Kid, I’m gonna let you go with a warning for that one.” He brushes past, bumping me with his shoulder.
“I’ll report you!” I yell to his back. “I’ll tell the city or the state or whoever that you’re collecting disability money when you’re still working.” Axel stops, but doesn’t turn around. “And I’ll also report how you collect money as Ari’s caretaker but she doesn’t even have a bedroom.” He turns and glares at me. “And I’ll tell Lena about that disgusting blonde woman you bring around when she’s working late.”
A growl escapes Axel’s lips before he quickly recovers his composure, looks back at the house, and then at me, clicking his teeth. “You’re playing with fire, boy,” he says before marching into his house.
“Bring it, fuckwad!” I yell at his back.