28. CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 28
ETHAN
W hen we get to Ari’s place, she types in the code to activate the garage door and it slowly rises, then we dip inside and make our way to the door to her apartment, which she just opens.
“Don’t you lock the door when you leave?”
“Eh, there’s nothing of value for someone to take. I only lock it when I’m sleeping, so no one takes me . Besides, Lars and Meg are upstairs.” As we enter the apartment, she grabs my side and keeps me close. “Can you help me over to the couch?”
“Of course.” I lead Ari to the couch where we both sit.
We’re on a quiet residential street, so I can’t hear any cars driving by, music from a nearby neighbor, or voices of people walking by. But I sure as hell can hear my pulse behind my ears as my heart rate picks up.
Ari shifts next to me, slowly reaching for my hand, which I turn upward as her fingers reach it. She fans her fingers out and I do the same, until our hands are palm to palm, my fingers a full knuckle longer than hers. She’s looking at our hands, but I’m staring at her face while I swallow the dry lump in my throat.
Ari shifts her fingers so they slide between mine and we clasp our hands together. Bringing our fisted hands up to her cheek, she rests them there, cupping the other side of them with her free hand and closing her eyes.
My blood is pumping and my mind racing. “What’s going on in that head of yours, Red?”
“Honestly?”
“Honesty would be nice,” I repeat her words from earlier.
Opening her eyes, the bright green of them bore right through me. “It’s ironic.” I tilt my head to the side in question. “You’re one of the only men in my life who I know would never hurt me, and yet, right now, you’re the man I’m most terrified of.”
Another dry swallow as my heart constricts. “Why’s that?”
“Because you are the only person who could ever really destroy me.”
I feel something that teeters on the edge of love and heartbreak as the question I’m not sure I want the answer to materializes. “Did I destroy you?”
Ari stares at me as she considers my question, then shakes her head ever so slightly. “No.” She lets go of my hand and places hers flat against my chest. She’s closer now. I can feel her breath tickle my neck as she looks at her fingers spread wide against my shirt. “Because you came back.”
Ari crawls her fingertips up to my face and, like she did the night of our date, traces my lips and scar with them. The slow movement tickles the hairs on my face, and my breathing picks up as I say something she needs to hear. “Ari, I never really left you.”
Her eyes dart to mine as I snake a hand up her neck and cup her face, running my thumb over her jaw.
“I know that, now,” she says. “I think I might have known it all along.”
I pull her face closer to mine. “And I never will.”
Our lips barely touching, breaths choppy, I can feel her eyelashes flutter against mine as our foreheads rest against one another’s and I continue to trace her jaw.
“Prove it,” she says, my lips moving with her words.
Ari melts into me as I massage her lips with mine, sweeping my tongue inside her mouth.
And there’s that tornado of butterflies storming up my spine and around my stomach and down to my toes again—just like it did when we were teenagers.
Trailing kisses from the corner of her mouth to her cheek and jaw, I travel down the column of her neck to the little hollow spot at her clavicle where I lap at it and give it just a little suck before making my way back up to her lips. I’m rewarded with a whimper as I take and take and take.
When she pulls away and starts to shuffle, I take her face in both my hands. “What’s wrong? You want to stop? We can stop.”
Please, don’t stop.
“No. God, no. I never want you to stop. It’s just …” She kisses me.
“Yes?” Another kiss.
“God, this is so unsexy,” she says as I dip my head and suck on the skin of her neck.
I chuckle into her softness. “Well, now you’ve piqued my interest.”
“It’s just … Oh man, that feels so good …”
“Mmmm. You were saying …” She pulls back so I can’t reach her with my lips. “It’s just, I really want to straddle you, but I’m literally weak in the knees right now and can’t do it myself, so I’m going to need you to help me make that happen.”
I growl, lean forward, and grab her hips to pull her onto my lap, situating her legs on either side of me. Ari grabs my face in her hands and ravishes me.
And I’m a goddamn gonner. My dick pulses in my jeans as Ari leans over me, her hair blanketing over our faces like a curtain. It’s her turn to take what she wants from me. My hands rest on her hips as she pulls back again, nearly out of breath. “Closer,” she pants.
“What?” My breathing matches hers.
“I said”—she nibbles my bottom lip—“I want you to pull me closer.”
A groan slips out from me as I grip her behind the knees and pull her legs wider and farther up my thighs, then grab her ass with both hands and pull her pelvis right up against mine at the same time I thrust up slightly. “That better, Red?” She whimpers again. “Is that what you needed? A little friction?”
“Mmmm,” she moans into my mouth and slowly starts to grind on me.
Trailing a hand up Ari’s side, her ribs slide against my fingers as she moves her body up and down. She breaks the kiss to move her mouth to my cheek, my neck, and then pulls my earlobe between her teeth and I almost blow in my pants. Her sweater comes off and gets thrown to the floor, as does my shirt before I lean forward and kiss her chest, palming her breast through her bra.
“What …” I stop to kiss the top of one, and then the top of the other breast. “What’s going on here? Is that a bra with just one strap?” A mouthful of soft, peach skin gets sucked into my open mouth.
“No. It’s just, strapless bras are uncomfortable.” Her hips continue to swirl in my lap. “But that sweater has an exposed shoulder, so”—she cradles my head in her hands as I kiss her cleavage, still panting—“I tucked one strap in the side. It’s really not a big deal.”
“No, it’s not.” Wrapping one arm around her waist, I flip us on the couch so she’s on her back and I’m situating myself between her legs. The crutches that were leaning up against the end of the couch go clambering to the ground.
“Don’t stop moving, Red.” I grind myself into her, and she rises to meet me as best she can, circling her hips. “Please, don’t fucking stop moving.”
We continue to dry hump as our mouths go raw from kissing. I pull her knee up so her leg is wrapped around me, and just as I’m sliding my hand into the waistband of her jeans, the door to the stairs that leads to the rest of the house swings open.“Everything alright, Ari? I heard a bang and— Oh, God!”
I pull my mouth from her chest as Ari cranes her head to look over the arm of the couch, and shrieks, “Lars!”
I jump back from the couch at the same time she pushes me off and crosses her arms in front of her chest. Her head darts around looking for her top.
The man spins on his heel so he’s not looking at us. “Sorry!” He puts his hands over his eyes for added measure. “I heard a bang and I thought …”
I grab our shirts, toss one to Ari, and she starts shimmying into it. Too bad she’s got it on inside out and backwards before I realize that what I tossed her is my shirt, and now I’m stuck holding her sweater, which may as well be a pair of winter earmuffs for as well as it would fit me.
The man is still stammering as Ari pulls her hair out of the back of the shirt. “I’m, uh, I’m decent,” she says, then rolls her eyes at her own statement and puts her head in her hands as she remains seated on the couch. She may be clothed, but her face is red and irritated from my rough beard. I make a mental note to trim it so the poor thing doesn’t end up chafing her face … or anywhere else.
The man slowly turns, hands still over his eyes, and spreads his fingers slowly to look through them. When he sees her “decent,” he drops his hands and turns to see me standing next to the couch, holding Ari’s sweater over my crotch to hide my weeping erection that’s trying it damnedest to break out of its denim jail. I give a tight smile and limp wave.
He's wearing red plaid pajama pants and a blue Buffalo Bills T-shirt. His unruly sandy and gray hair is sticking up all over the place, which isn’t being helped by him running his hand through it constantly.
“Lars, this is Ethan,” Ari says nervously. “Ethan, this is Lars—Larry. Larry Miller. My foster dad.”
Larry adjusts his glasses and looks me up and down, his eyes widening a little when he sees my exposed chest and stomach. He takes a half a step toward me, then stops. I take a half a step toward him and stop. He puts his hand out and pulls it back in. I do the same. Then he finally takes three full steps over to me with his hand outstretched. “Hi. It’s, uh, awkward to meet you.”
I take his hand and give him a firm shake, still covering myself with Ari’s sweater. “Sir.” I give a nod and look him in the eyes as I address him. “Believe me, it’s more awkward for me.”
He has the decency to look sorry for me.
“What—” Ari clears her throat and starts again. “What’s up, Lars?” She still has her arms wrapped around her, even though she’s now covered, as if she’s trying to curl in on herself and just disappear.
I know the feeling.
“Sorry,” Larry barks out again, taking a few steps away from me. “I didn’t realize you were entertaining down here. I heard a bang and I, well … now I realize what it was, so, clearly I didn’t need to check.”
“Crutches!” both Ari and I blurt out, and she gives me wide eyes. “My crutches,” she says. “They were over here resting by the couch.” She points to the side. “But they fell over. That’s what you heard. Not, you know … I mean, we weren’t … Well, we were, but not—oh God, I’ll stop talking now.”
“No, no. There’s no need to explain yourself.” Larry folds his arms over his chest and looks around the apartment—at anywhere but either of us. “Like I said, I heard a thud and I know you don’t always lock the damn door, so I wanted to make sure no one was coming in to get us.”
“See?” I say to Ari, then turn to Larry. “I told her that’s stupid. That she should lock the door!”
“Right!” he says to me, again giving my body a once-over. “She thinks since we’re in the suburbs there’s no need—”
“It’s because I feel safe here,” Ari mumbles from the couch.
I take in that statement.
I feel safe here … With these people. With this man who came running down here late at night to check on her when he heard a noise. She hasn’t once flinched like she’s afraid he’s going to hurt her for waking him up. And she’s not silent like she always was around new people.
Larry—Lars—takes steps toward the door, then stops and scratches his head, his hair flying in all directions as he looks at the floor. “So, Ari, you’re a grown woman and can certainly do what you want and make your own choices. So, I’m going to head back upstairs, as long as this is, you know, a choice you’re making and it’s something that you want and you’re not, um, being forced or anything …” He lets out a breath as Ari mumbles “ ohmygod ” and buries her head in her hands.
“Lars, Ethan is going to go now. Right, Ethan?” She turns her head slightly so she can see me with one eye peeking between her thumb and forefinger.
I smirk. “Yeah, Red. If that’s what you want, I’ll get going.”
She frowns at me, probably wondering how I can suddenly be so comfortable in this situation. I clear my throat and toss Ari’s sweater on the couch.
“Don’t leave on my account,” her foster dad says with an awkward, forced laugh. “I didn’t mean to ruin anyone’s fun.” He spreads his arms out wide and then claps them in front of himself.
Ari throws herself back onto the couch and covers her eyes with her arm. I chuckle.
Larry starts to head toward the door, then stops and spins back around. “It’s just—”
“ Ohforfuckssake ,” Ari grumbles, grabbing a pillow off the couch and burying her face in it.
“Now, just hear me out.” He turns toward me, and I square my shoulders, straighten up, and look him in the eyes. “Goodness,” he whispers, looking me up and down again, “you’re a big dude.” I simply smile, and he runs a hand down his face. “Let me just get one thing off my chest, and then I promise I’ll get the hell out of here as fast as I can.” He clears his throat. “Ethan, you grew up with Ari, correct?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, you know better than anyone what her life has been like.” It’s not a question, but I nod anyway. “Right. So, I just want to make sure your intentions are …” He looks over to Ari, who peeks around the pillow at him. “We love Ari like she’s our own—Meg and me. We have loved all our foster children, but she and Sophie may as well be our daughters. And Ari has been through hell and back, and we just don’t want anything to set her back or bring her anything other than happiness.”
Ari slowly lowers the pillow, her eyes watery as she looks at Larry, who is looking at me. “I just want to make sure your intentions with Ari are pure.” He gives a little huff, as if he knows he sounds dated.
I take two slow steps toward him, arm outstretched. As he takes my hand for the second time tonight, I tell him, “Mr. Miller, sir. You and I want the same thing for Ari, and I will dedicate every day to making sure she is never anything but happy.”
He nods, eyes wide, as if taken aback. Then he smiles. “Good. Well, we’re all on the same page.” Realizing he’s still shaking my hand, he drops it quickly. “OK, then, I’m going to run far, far away from here now.”
“Wait,” Ari pipes up, and Larry spins and faces her.“Yes, dear?” he answers without hesitation.
“Can you come help me up?”
“Oh, sure. Of course.” He rushes toward her and helps her stand, then she throws her arms around his neck and whispers something in his ear. Immediately his arms go around her and he whispers something back.
I take a moment to appreciate this scene. This is a moment all of us—all three of us—didn’t know we needed. Ari has never had someone look out for her, and I’ve never had someone put so much trust in me. I would guess Larry has never had the opportunity to flex his dad muscle.
They separate, and Larry heads upstairs without any more fanfare.
“Let me help you to bed,” I say softly.
When we get to it, Ari practically throws herself down, letting out an exaggerated breath. “I can’t decide if I’m wide awake or dead tired.”
“I know what you mean.”
We lock eyes for a moment, and she starts pulling at the shirt—my shirt—that she’s wearing. “Here. Take this back so you don’t have to drive home half naked.”
“No,” I reach out a hand and stop her. “Sleep in it.”
After helping her get under the sheets, I sit on the side of the bed and lean over Ari, resting my forearms on either side of her head. I rub a thumb along her temple and lean down to kiss her softly. “You good?”
She nods.
I nuzzle into the crook of her neck, and she giggles. “That tickles,” she whispers as her hands come up to my head and she scrapes her fingernails through my buzzed hair. I hold back a moan. “Did you mean what you said to Lars?” she asks. “When he asked about your intentions with me?”
“Every”—I kiss her forehead—“God-”—I kiss her cheek—“damn”—her jaw—“word”—her lips. “How does that plan sound to you?”
She smiles. “I could definitely get behind that.”
“Good. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” She runs her fingertips through my scalp again.
“What did you say to Larry? When you whispered to him? If you don’t mind me asking.”
Ari smiles. “I told him I wished he was my real dad.”
“And what did he say back?”
Her eyes gloss over. “I am.”
I rest my head on her chest.
“Is it weird if I feel like the luckiest girl in the world?” she asks quietly as she runs her hands up and down my bare arms, biceps, and shoulders.
“No, baby, it’s not.” I speak into her chest. “It’s kind of a beautiful turnaround, don’t you think?”
“Mmmm …”
We stay like that for I don’t know how long, and her breathing evens out. I pull back and slowly rise from the bed—her eyes snapping open at my movement. “Shhhh,” I soothe her, running my hand over her cheek one last time. “Go to sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“K.”
I make sure to lock her door before getting in the Jeep and driving away—but not before catching a glimpse of Larry peering out the blinds at me.
And with each mile that separates us, my body goes down a degree in temperature, my pulse slows, and my smile fades. I know that I left my whole heart with Ari. She’s always had it, and she always will.