Chapter 30
“Well?” I ask the moment Alistair returns.
We have maybe an hour until sunset and I’m terrified for the moment that the curse starts pulling me down to the dining room.
What if Orrin suspects us and he’s waiting for me? What if the ring is powerful enough to overcome the curse and Orrin forces me to leave with him?
“He wants me to go back to Roburry with him,” Alistair replies, taking a bag from his wardrobe and setting it on the bed. “He wants me to be the duke while he takes over the capital.”
I watch him stuff clothes and blankets into the bag, his movements harried and anxious. There’s something he’s not telling me.
“How can you go back when you’re stuck here?” I ask, watching the way he avoids my eyes. “Alistair, what did Orrin do?”
Alistair’s hands freeze on the bag, and his shoulders slump. A cold weight forms in my gut and I brace myself for bad news.
“He found a way around the curse,” he says, pinning me with a grief-stricken look. “A necklace. I don’t know how he got it and frankly I don’t want to know.”
“I”m confused. You said there”s a necklace—as in one, but you would never leave the staff behind…” And suddenly I understand why he looks so sad. “You want me to leave?”
He turns and grasps my arms before I can bolt, his eyes pleading with me to trust him. “I suspect that Orrin thinks I’ll use the necklace and leave you behind. Then he can scoop you up without any interference from me. But he underestimates me.”
I shake my head, trying to pull free of his grasp. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Stella, please.” He lifts his hands to my face, the desperation in his eyes tugging at my pathetic heart. “He’s not going to kill me. Even if I stay, he won’t hurt me if he can’t find you. He needs me. But you can’t leave the manor for another two weeks, and if you stay, he will find you. Please, I need you to run.”
“I’m not leaving you,” I bark, enunciating every word. Then I slip out of his grasp and start unpacking the bag.
I feel him step up behind me, his breath rustling my hair. “Take the necklace and go,” he whispers. “In two weeks when your end of the curse is over and you don’t need it anymore, you can send it back. I’ll give you enough money to get a reliable courier.”
I shake my head. “You won’t use it. You wouldn’t leave the staff.”
His arms slide around my waist, his chest warm and solid against my back. I want to push him away, but I’m weak, so I don’t.
“I’m starting to think that the only way to break the curse is to find the Poet who cast it,” he says, leaning his head against mine as my hands go still on the bag. “I’ll use the necklace and you and I can find her. Then we’ll free the staff, and this will all be over.”
“You’re forgetting our biggest issue. Your brother.”
He’s quiet and I let him think. We both know that Orrin will never let me go. So the only other way to free us from his grasp is if he dies. And I won’t let Alistair live with a choice like that.
“You let me take care of him,” he growls, his chest vibrating against me.
“What does that mean?” I ask, turning in his arms.
He looks grim, his lips set in a frown and a wrinkle between his eyebrows. “He’s not going to let you go, and I can’t let him continue sitting in my father’s seat, hurting people the way he’s hurt you. We have to take him down.”
“How?”
He doesn’t reply, and I feel the weight in my gut grow heavier. “Alistair, what are you going to do?”
“He has to be taken care of, Stel.”
He tries to move back, but I grab his arm. “You can’t kill him. It’s one thing to kill someone who’s a danger to people, but when that someone is family…Alistair, you won’t be the same. Orrin’s death will haunt you forever.”
“I don’t care.”
“Alistair,” I snap, shoving him back a step. “Listen to me. The weight you feel about Leeta’s death? It will be so much worse if you kill Orrin.” I grasp his face in both hands, begging him to listen. “You might be able to live with the weight of his death, but I don’t think I can live with seeing you carry it.”
Al sighs, pulling me close again. “He has to be taken care of. I’m not letting him have you again, and I’m certainly not letting him take the capital.”
“And he won’t. But you can’t take him down by yourself. He’s dangerous, Al. Believe me, I’ve tried to hurt him before, and it didn’t go well. He’s strong—stronger than he looks—you won’t be able to kill him by yourself. You’ll need help. Lots of it.”
He considers my words, face pinching in frustration. “Fine. I’ll wait, but only if you promise me that you’ll go somewhere safe. In two weeks, you can send me the necklace and I’ll come find you. Then we’ll end Orrin.”
I nod, willing to agree to anything if it means that Alistair won’t attempt to kill Orrin. It’s true that I don’t want him to be burdened by the death of his own brother, but I’m also terrified that Orrin will kill Alistair instead.
Orrin prefers to plot and watch as his perfectly orchestrated plans come to fruition, rather than fight. But on the few occasions I’ve seen him fight, it was almost inhuman. If Alistair gives him a reason to do it, Orrin will kill him without breaking a sweat.
“I want you to take the quill with you,” Alistair says, oblivious to my inner turmoil. “Keep trying with it. Maybe eventually it will end your binding to my brother.”
“But what about you—”
“We tried it for hours last night and it didn’t work,” he argues, his smile sad. “It will be safer with you and away from Orrin. Once I come to you, we can try it again on my curse if it hasn’t already broken your tether to Orrin. Deal?”
I want to say no. I want to argue that there’s another way. But from the sound of it, Orrin already knows I’m here, and I’ve been an indentured spy for long enough to know that if I stay, I’ll only become a pressure point for Alistair. Someone Orrin can use to make his brother behave. I can’t let that happen.
“Deal,” I nod. Alistair wraps me in a cloak and helps me shoulder the pack he prepared. When I hear a knock on the door, I go completely still. But then I hear Mildred on the other side and I relax.
There are tears in Milly’s eyes when Alistair opens the door, and even Brutus looks like he’s using all his energy to hold back his emotions.
“Oh, I wish you didn’t have to go,” Milly cries, pulling me into a hug. I squeeze her back with equal fervor, wishing I could stay and call myself one of them.
“Me too,” I mumble.
“You be careful out there, kiddo,” Brutus says when it’s his turn to hug me. “Let us know when you’re safe.”
I nod through the tears, welcoming the way his massive arms envelope me. “I will. I promise.”
Once Brutus steps back, Alistair takes his place, checking the clasp of my cloak. “Time to go,” he says, resigned. “Orrin was in a good mood when I left him earlier, but he won’t stay that way. The moment he realizes that I don’t have the necklace anymore, he’ll come after you. So, I need you to ride hard and get a good head start. I’ll keep him occupied, tell him that I’m waiting to use the necklace until I’m sure that he’ll look for a way to free the staff. But you can’t be here when he realizes that I’m not leaving.”
I stare at him, everything about this plan feeling wrong. How do I know that Orrin won’t kill Alistair? Or that he won’t expect me to flee and already have a trap prepared?
“What if it doesn’t work?” I whisper, not ashamed of the tears that stream down my cheeks. “What if he kills you?”
Al pulls my hood up over my hair, making sure it hangs over my face. “He won’t. He only kills useless things, and thanks to our shared blood, I’m very useful. Don’t worry, Little Wolf,” he whispers, kissing my forehead. “You’ll see me again. I promise.”
Then, because he’s taking too long, I pull his mouth down to mine.
His desperation perfectly matches my own, our hands greedy as they tug each other closer. It’s a kiss for every stupid moment we spent being too stubborn to let ourselves fall in love. A kiss for every day we suffered alone before we met. For every hour we’ll be apart, and for every moment we may never have.
When we part, we’re both crying.
“I love you,” I announce sternly, an unpolished vow to never stop.
“And I love you.” He says it with equal weight, a promise weaving us together in a way that I desperately hope is magical but probably isn’t.
“Come find me when you can.”
“Always.”
Alistair clasps the necklace underneath my hair, and I drop it beneath my bodice, hating it for making me leave.
We don’t say anything more as we follow Milly and Brutus to the door. We say nothing as Alistair peeks his head into the hall to check that the way is clear. We say nothing as he gives me one last kiss goodbye and slips into the hall.
And then there’s nothing left to say at all.