Chapter 3
The problem with watching excellent romance movies is that they reminded me of all the things I didn’t have in my own life.
For every moment I’d grimly resolved to myself that I was completely fine being alone forever, there were ten more moments where I just craved that early aughts, teen romance kind of love.
I doubted it was possible to grow up expecting to have four soul mates and not have grand ideas about romance, but I’d had more time than most to ruminate on exactly what it was that I wanted.
The occasional grand gesture? Good.
Small, intimate moments that only meant something to us? Better.
I didn’t want a fairytale kind of love. I wanted a two-person-pedal-boat-on-the-lake kind of love.
It didn’t look like I’d be getting either.
Still feeling weirdly off-balance after my dabble with the darkness, I’d finished my movie and was eating my grilled chicken and steamed vegetables while standing in the kitchen.
My phone was on the bench, and I idly scrolled through my news feed, which was almost exclusively pictures of Verity Mae’s baby shower.
The bubbling caramel balloon feature had obviously been popular.
Moments like these felt like a small act of rebellion.
Mother would probably need to be hospitalized if she found out I regularly ate my dinner standing at the counter to minimize cleanup, scrolling through my phone.
She’d expect me to set the dining table for one and sit myself down nicely with a napkin over my lap and my phone in another room.
She’d instructed me as much when I’d finally successfully pleaded my case to move out.
I did a very unladylike snort over my bland plate of chicken.
All those years making dinner for my parents to practice my future housewife skills for naught.
I had no one but myself to be a housewife for .
Not that I particularly minded not being housebound all the time—I liked my job, and I knew I would be expected to give that up for the foreseeable future if I found my soul bonds and had children.
Stop it, I chastised silently. It would be a privilege to have those things.
My contentment was an ongoing work in progress.
My phone vibrated noisily on the counter with an incoming call and I forced back an unkind groan when Rae’s name appeared on the screen. So much for a peaceful night in.
Rae was a human who had been in and out of the shelter for years, even though she was a little younger than me. Most of the shelter staff were much older, and she’d formed an attachment to me in particular.
She was snared in the web the daimons had woven for her. A life of sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. The daimons made it look glamorous—they were built that way by their shadowy goddess. Regular humans couldn’t help but feel enticed, it was what the daimons were called to do.
Devour. Destroy. Desecrate.
The agathos existed to pick up the pieces.
“Good evening, Rae,” I said quietly, already knowing what she’d need. I’d received this call many times before, though usually not at this time of night.
“Graaaaaaaaaace!” Rae wailed dramatically, and I pulled the phone away from my ear with a wince.
“Are you okay?” I asked cautiously. Usually when Rae called, it was because she was coming down from something, or brutally hungover and needed help undoing the life choices she’d made. Her tone was generally more what-have-I-done than I’m-still-doing-it.
“Tonight is so trash, I can’t even. Can you pick me up?”
“Of course,” I replied instantly, even as dread unfurled in my stomach. I could hear the sound of car horns and laughter in the back, and the distant thump of bass. “Where are you?”
All the clubs in this city were daimon-owned and therefore considered daimon territory.
I’d never interacted with one, but I’d been told my entire life that daimons were just looking for an excuse to destroy agathos at any given opportunity, and walking right into their lair definitely felt like I was giving them the opportunity.
“I’m at Onslaught, just chilling outside. I was going to party with this guy and have a really good time, but then this other guy was like noooooooo,” she continued, her voice a little slurred. “Then I thought we were going to have a different kind of fun, if you know what I mean.”
I could practically hear her exaggerated wink through the phone, and I scrunched my eyes shut to regain my rapidly slipping composure.
“Anyway, he was like ‘call your friend’,” she rambled on, dropping her voice an octave. “And now he’s just waiting here with me until you get here.”
Oh, sugar.
“Right. Okay. I’ll be right there,” I said weakly, dropping my fork in the sink and racing to the door, shoving my feet into my bright white sneakers.
Why was everything I owned so blinding? Why didn’t I own some rebellious looking black clothes?
I may as well have a neon flashing sign above my head that said ‘agathos’.
“Can you stay outside? Is it safe for you?” I asked, holding the phone between my shoulder and my cheek.
Surely, so long as I didn’t try to enter the bar, I’d be okay? I’d driven down the street Onslaught was on before, there were human businesses on it, and no one had ever tried to stop me or anything...
It wasn’t like I really had a choice anyway. To be an agathos was to make sacrifices for humans, Anesidora’s favored children. My instincts demanded that I go to Rae’s aid.
“What?” Rae laughed like the question was ludicrous. “Of course it’s safe. See you soon, byeeeeeeee!”
In a way, it was a blessing I didn’t have time to overthink things.
I glanced down at my outfit—a matching knit white sweater and lounge pants—and realized I couldn’t look any more out of place outside a daimonic club if I tried, but I didn’t want to waste time changing.
It wasn’t like I had any other options in my closet that were more suitable.
There was exactly one black dress in there and as per my mother’s instructions, it was only for funerals.
I grabbed an olive-colored wool coat from next to the door as well as my tan purse.
At least the coat was a semi inconspicuous color.
I really hoped Rae would still be outside when I got there.
It wouldn’t matter what I was wearing if I had to go inside, the opal-colored eyes would give me away immediately.
Humans might not be able to see them, but daimons certainly could.
Anesidora, watch over me, I asked silently as I closed my apartment door behind me with a click as the lock engaged and rushed down the silent stairs. The air was chilly as I let myself out in front of my building, keys in one hand, pepper spray in the other.
No one approached me as I jogged across the street and jumped into my car, blasting the heat as I reversed out onto the road.
Fortunately, Milton wasn’t a huge place.
I had expected Rae to be downtown where most of the clubs were, and even that was only fifteen minutes away without traffic.
Onslaught was a small, disreputable bar located between a liquor store and the world’s saddest barber shop on East Main Street, and less than ten minutes away.
It was also the closest club to the shelter, which was convenient. Possibly she’d fallen prey to the daimonic lure as she passed by, already on her way to Hope House. The best of intentions could be thwarted by that call of the forbidden, and Rae rarely had the best of intentions.
I slowed down as I approached the club, chewing nervously on my lower lip. There was an enormous sex store on the corner of the street painted a garish pink, and my cheeks heated at the small glimpse of what I could see displayed in the window.
There was that dark part of my brain that wasn’t meant to exist, flaring to life. I shouldn’t even notice that kind of thing. It was even worse than usual—my face was increasingly flushed, heartbeat picking up in my chest, mouth suddenly dry.
Be sweet. Think…sweet thoughts.
The pale opal on my ring finger flashed in the streetlight shining through the windscreen, reminding me of my obligations and the promises I’d made, making guilt churn uneasily in my gut. Perhaps I’d never find my soul bonds, but I had sworn to Anesidora that I’d keep my thoughts pure for them.
It shouldn’t have even been a struggle, it wasn’t for anyone else I knew. My brain was twisted.
I pulled over quickly, glimpsing a hint of Rae’s bright orange hair. She was waiting blessedly on the opposite side of the street to the club in an empty grassy lot, leaning on a metal fence with barbed wire coiled around the top of it.
Sugar, this really was my least favorite part of town.
My heartbeat continued to pick up even as my stress levels went down, the blood rushing in my ears almost enough to drown out the bass pumping from the club.
The sensation was bizarre, bordering on painful.
Rae was here. She was fine. So why was my heart thundering against my ribs like it was trying to break free?
Was I still that affected by the adult store? My mouth was drier than ever, an achy feeling forming low in my body, and my breasts felt…strange.
Oh no. This was definitely my punishment for asking the Goddess of Night for help. This must be some sort of… curse . I had to get Rae and get out of here, drop her at the shelter, then get back to the safety of my apartment to endure whatever the effects of this curse were in peace.
Maybe I was dying? Most people who tangled with daimons in any capacity ended up dead. I had asked the Goddess of Night for her insight into my future, and perhaps this was it. A meaningless life, leading to a meaningless death.
Get it together, Grace. Just because you’re having a heart attack, that is no excuse for this morbidity. Rae needs you.