Chapter 6
I moved around the empty rooms at Hope House almost mindlessly, changing bedding and cleaning up for the next occupants, counting down the minutes until I could leave.
I loved my job, really.
I found it incredibly rewarding, even when my boss tested my resolve to be sweet and patient. Usually, getting home to my empty apartment was the last thing on my mind, but today it was like the hours couldn’t pass fast enough.
Was Riot okay? Had he gone to his mysterious freelance job?
Should I have asked more questions about that?
How was he feeling? Was there enough food in the house for him?
Did daimons even eat normal food? He ate popcorn last night, but what if he had dietary requirements?
Fudge , I should have checked before I left.
What if he was hungry?
I hadn’t even done my Sunday grocery run, I wailed internally. The one time I hadn’t gone to the store, I had an overnight guest.
I wished I could message him, but it was probably a good thing I hadn’t gotten his number even if my phone had been charged. My parents insisted on still paying for my phone plan, and I wasn’t sure how much they could see. Probably a lot, since I was sure that was the only reason they did it.
That was one area of independence I hadn’t achieved yet, and I was determined to rectify it.
At least the distance between Riot and I gave me a moment to process the possibilities of what this… connection between us meant without being distracted by his presence and his beautiful face, or all the things I wanted him to do to me that I didn’t quite understand and wasn’t allowed to feel.
Sugar, when he’d kissed my head this morning...
Logically, I remembered it was how my grandmother had used to kiss me, but it hadn’t felt grandmotherly when he’d done it. It had felt...like the promise of something more.
I desired him, and agathos were programmed to only feel desire for their soul bonds.
That Riot was my soul bond was the most obvious answer, yet the least plausible.
It should be impossible. I’d never heard of it happening before in all the years of Saturday morning lessons at the temple when we’d been taught about our history and as much about bonds as the Elders were willing to share.
Then again, most agathos probably didn’t dabble in prayers to a certain dark goddess.
I should have told him. Riot deserved to know what I’d done. He looked at me like he felt bad that I was stuck with him or something, which was madness when I was probably the one who’d got us into this situation in the first place.
My boss, Constance, was downstairs and moved around the place like she was trying to make as much noise as possible, so I took a moment to sit down at the end of the bed, exhausted from my poor night’s sleep half upright on the couch.
I really needed to be on my A-game today. I couldn’t afford to draw attention to myself while I was entangled with a daimon. And Constance disliked me already.
Get up, Grace.
Could Riot really be my soul bond, or did I just want him to be?
Maybe I was just entertaining the idea to cover up my own depraved desires?
My entire life, I’d known I was not as good as I should have been.
As much as my mother had diligently worked to train the darkness and disobedience out of me, it obviously hadn’t worked.
Maybe I’d sown the seeds of darkness that were already there by reaching out to the Goddess of Night, and she’d somehow connected Riot and I.
If he was my soul bond, that presented its own set of questions for me to overthink.
What did that mean for the future? Would I have four soul bonds like other agathos?
Would they all be daimons? If that was the case, it would make sense that I’d never met them.
Or maybe one daimonic bond was the equivalent of four agathos, and it would just be Riot and me.
That might be better. Less people to organize when my community found out about this and banished me from their territories.
I couldn’t expect the daimons to accept me into their ranks—if that was something I’d even want. I wondered how Riot would feel about living in unclaimed neutral territory, far away from the disapproving agathos...
Siberia, perhaps.
“You are useless today!” Constance snapped, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. I shot to my feet instantly, my stomach dropping out of my body. Impossible . Constance never snuck up on me. She was a slim woman who moved with the grace of an aging hippopotamus.
That was an unkind thought. I couldn’t muster the energy in that moment to balance it out with a positive one.
“It’s like you don’t even want to help the poor unfortunate souls who rely on us,” Constance sighed dramatically.
Sugar. This must be my bad luck for helping Rae yesterday.
“I’m sorry, I’ll work faster,” I murmured, bowing my head against her criticism. Constance managed Hope House—owned by her and her bonded—and was one of the most unpleasant people I’d ever encountered in my life.
She didn’t even try to hide the blatant superiority she felt over the people we were bound to serve. Agathos like her were the reason I’d left Auburn and its riches and elitism behind.
“Look at me when I’m speaking to you,” Constance ordered coolly.
I lifted my head and folded my hands demurely in front of me as my mother had always taught me. Don’t give them more reasons to look down on you. Our family is new and not well respected in Auburn. Earn your place.
“Work faster,” Constance instructed, her harsh glare on me.
Her thin eyebrows were permanently raised, gray hair swept back into a slick bun, mouth always downturned.
She terrified me just as much today as she had when I’d seen her at community events as a child.
“Need I remind you that no other employee has taken so long to advance from the monitor role, Grace? You should be in a higher position by now.”
With a final pointed look, she swept out of the room, her pale silver skirt swishing after her. I huffed a silent laugh under my breath at the audacity of that statement. I would never get a promotion, because Constance was in charge of doling them out, and Constance didn’t like me.
Yesterday, that would have seemed like the most dramatic thing that could ever happen to me, but today I knew better.
There were far more dramatic things happening in my life than not getting a promotion at work.
By the time I’d finished making the beds and taking the laundry down to the basement, I was due to do another round of health and safety checks.
“Grace!” Rae called as I passed the common room. She was lounging on a bright red couch at the back of the room, watching the family movie we had playing on the screen in the corner. Hercules .
Someone on the front desk today had a sense of humor. Our experience of the Greek gods was not quite how the myths memorialized them. The Olympians may have the best stories, but it was the Primordials that held all the power.
“Get over here, Grace!”
I plastered a smile on my face and wound my way through the couches and armchairs to where Rae was relaxing, and sat in the small space at the end of the couch next to Rae’s crossed ankles.
While I had mixed feelings about her last night, my agathos instincts didn’t care about my personal feelings. Rae’s pain was calling to me, and I couldn’t not take some of it as my own, even if I was a little annoyed with her.
“How are you feeling today?” I asked, leaning over to rest my hand on her exposed arm and skimming her emotional anguish, gritting my teeth as her pain burrowed into my psyche like hot needles.
Unlike using my good luck gift, paying the cost for easing physical or mental suffering was at least short and instantaneous. It was an ability all agathos were blessed with. Or cursed with.
“Me? Fine,” Rae replied, waving her hand dismissively as I sat back and folded my hands in my lap.
It didn’t surprise me that she hadn’t thanked me for picking her up in the middle of the night—she’d never thanked me in the past—but perhaps my inner monster was feeling particularly petty today, because it irritated me.
“I wanted to see if you were walking okay this morning,” she added with a sly smile.
I blinked slowly at her. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Seriously?” Rae laughed, yanking her orange-red hair up into a messy bun. “That guy was giving off crazy Big Dick Energy, don’t tell me it was all a front.”
My face was definitely hot, but it wasn’t just embarrassment like I usually experienced when it came to anything remotely sexual. I was offended? Or at least I thought I was. She had no right to talk about Riot’s… energy like that.
“We were just talking,” I replied diplomatically. Far more diplomatically than I felt.
“Suuuuuure,” Rae laughed, before shooting me a sidelong look. “Oh shit, you’re serious? Girl, why ?”
“That’s a very personal question,” I deflected, smoothing out my skirt.
“Boo, you’re no fun.” Rae pouted, turning her attention back to the screen. I sat there awkwardly, not entirely sure if I’d been dismissed or not. Eventually, she turned her sullen attention back on me. “Can I have his number then? If you’re not going to fuck him?”
Oh, sugar . The darkness rose up so swiftly I clutched my chest like I could physically restrain what I knew existed only inside my head. I wanted to yell at her. To be… mean to her. Riot was a person , he didn’t exist for her sexual gratification.
“I don’t have it,” I replied through gritted teeth, suddenly grateful I hadn’t asked for it since I wouldn’t be able to lie if I had. “Excuse me, I need to finish my rounds,” I added, standing up and giving her a tight smile.
Rae shook her head sadly, giving me a pitying look. “Probably for the best, girl. You’re so sweet, you know I think the world of you, but a guy like Riot would eat you alive.”