Chapter 10 #2
Her name was Jasmine, and she’d been working two to three jobs for years to support her family while her husband gambled away almost all the money she brought in.
I wanted to offer her words of support and encouragement while she told me about how she’d bundled Angel up a few weeks ago and walked out on him, but my head was starting to spin as it always did when I gave people a lot of luck.
My veins seemed to hurt from channeling the magic through them, and my senses were dull and hazy, like I’d been holding my breath too long.
I forced myself to take a deep breath, hoping it would ease the dizzy sensation before I slid off the chair.
“I feel so much better just from talking to you,” Jasmine said, sounding surprised as I pulled my hand away. “You are…wow. I’ve never met someone with such a calming presence.”
“That’s very kind of you,” I managed to reply with a soft smile in her general direction. My vision was blurring around the edges, and I really hoped I didn’t faint at work. Constance would probably put it as a strike on my record.
“Angel, honey, we need to go,” Jasmine called, voice full of excitement. I was vaguely aware of her thanking me again, and Angel’s protests as she was dragged away from the television, but I could barely summon the energy to lift my head.
They must have gone at some point. My head cleared slightly, and I registered the hum of the television as fear snaked through my system.
It was always like this. The moment I was finished transferring large amounts of luck to someone who desperately needed it, my head cleared like I’d been underwater for too long and was finally breaking the surface for air, and the weight of what I’d just done hit me.
I couldn’t be objective in the moment, because I was designed by Anesidora to serve and being around those who needed me turned me into a mindless serving robot.
Now that the haze had cleared, I was again acutely aware of how little I could afford a huge dose of bad luck.
I schooled my panicked features a moment before Constance’s thundering steps preceded her entrance. I was staring at the floor when her dark red low heels appeared, her foot tapping impatiently as she waited for me to look up and show her proper deference.
I wasn’t really in the mood.
I wished Riot was here.
What would he say when he found out what I’d done? Would he be disappointed in me? This thing between us wasn’t just my secret. It wasn’t just my life I was putting at risk.
With marathon effort, I tipped my head back as Constance’s severe features came into focus.
She couldn’t get angry at me for helping Jasmine—not when I’d helped Jordan as she’d asked, and Jasmine was obviously in need of some good luck—but I was confident she’d find another reason to be angry with me.
“You took too long to complete your task. You have overused your abilities and made yourself useless to myself and your colleagues.” There it was. “Go to the break room and compose yourself. You have ten minutes and then I expect to see you doing rounds. Are we clear, Grace?”
“We are clear,” I replied with a tight smile, forcing myself up onto wobbly legs, biting back a complaint at the unfairness of it all.
Riot had mentioned fairness multiple times—whether the things that were expected of us were fair, and whether our “gifts” were actually gifts.
I hadn’t argued particularly hard against him because he’d brought up some valid points, but in that moment I was feeling the kind of outrage that Riot seemed to feel.
I had given, and given, and given. I’d acted almost before I realized what I was doing, because my instincts had commanded it.
I’d always thought I’d made a choice to help the people I’d helped, but had I really?
Or was the choice to give everything I had to both Jordan and Jasmine made for me before I even stepped foot in this room by virtue of what I was?
I stumbled into the empty break room and managed to pour myself a glass of water before collapsing on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs at the dining table in the center of the room to catch my breath.
The rest of my shift passed in a blur of exhaustion, while contemplating what I’d just done and all the ways it might come back to haunt us.
* * *
In addition to the ball of dread that had taken up residence in my stomach, I’d felt drained all day—more than just the drained I got from missing Riot—and I wanted nothing more than to get home, eat my body weight in chocolate and snuggle the very unsnuggly-looking daimon who was currently living in my house.
Despite how rotten I felt, I was determined to cook a nice dinner tonight.
Maybe it would soften the blow of my bad luck news?
Besides, I hadn’t managed to cook for him yet, which was just atrocious manners considering he was staying with me. He’d cooked for me that first night.
That was just awful hostessing. Mother would faint.
I was already feeling guilty about ripping him out of his life, plus there was the whole prayer-to-the-dark-goddess thing that I was definitely going to mention...soon. The least I could do is cook us a meal.
What did vegetarians even eat? I wondered as I climbed into my car. Not meat, obviously, but how did I even create a dish without meat as the centerpiece? Agathos loved meat. The Elders even used the animal’s blood for rites. Nothing went to waste.
Mother had not prepared me for this kind of scenario. I was almost disappointed I had to keep Riot a secret so I couldn’t point out this flaw in her homemaking training.
I shook my head slightly as though I could shake off the snarky thoughts. I was feeling more vulnerable than usual, and it made my dark thoughts harder to control.
Think kind thoughts, Grace.
I had all the ingredients at home for my homemade pasta sauce, I just needed to grab some pasta to go with it.
I could just leave the meat out, right? It’d probably be fine.
I pulled into a spot in front of the store around the corner from my apartment, feeling resolved as I climbed out of my car, wishing I’d put my jacket back on the second the cold air hit.
I’d buy pasta and maybe some dessert. It would be like a date, kind of.
Guilt churned in my gut at that thought. We weren’t supposed to date anyone other than our soul bonds, but I was already breaking the rules, so what was one more? A slightly more romantic setting for dinner was the least egregious of my crimes.
My face heated just thinking of the other things we’d done.
The kissing, the rubbing all over him, our moment against the fridge this morning…
it was all stuff that was meant to be reserved for my bonded, and there was a good chance he wasn’t, because it shouldn’t be possible.
Worse still, would I be able to give him up, even if he wasn’t mine?
It didn’t feel like I’d be able to just walk away from Riot, even if I wanted to.
“Nobody move.”
I froze, standing in front of the shelf of dry goods I’d been perusing, my hand hovering over the pack of pasta I’d been about to pick up.
I’d only vaguely registered the guy entering the store just behind me, head bent down with his hood pulled up. I had not noticed the gun he was concealing in his front pocket, because of course I hadn’t. Because I was due some bad luck.
He strode up the middle of the three aisles, shouldering past a woman who stumbled into the shelving with a pained wheeze, his gun outstretched.
How could this be happening? In the months I’d been living in Milton, I’d never experienced anything like this.
The store was mostly empty—the cashier and owner, Dev, was frozen behind the register, eyes wide and panicked.
He was a human and a nice man. A family man.
I’d met his wife and son here a few times.
There was an older human man closer to the register, shaking like a leaf, and the young woman in the aisle opposite, her face obscured by her long blonde hair.
“Come on, man,” Dev pleaded, the color rapidly leaching from his face as his eyes zeroed in on the gun pointed directly at him. “Don’t do this. You can take all the money, I don’t care. Just don’t shoot.”
The guy’s hood fell back a little when he straightened his head, and I could see just from his profile that he was beyond desperate, even if I hadn’t been able to feel the misery pouring off him.
He was so young, perhaps even a teenager judging by the wispy hair around his jaw and acne on his cheeks. Too young to be doing something this level of life ruining, but he was also feeling the kind of all consuming agony that made reasoning impossible. What he needed was a reprieve.
I could give him that. I had to give him that. My limbs shook with the need to act, to help . It was what I was designed by Anesidora specifically to do.
The blonde woman glanced back at me and I startled at the purple and red eyes that met mine. Not that I hadn’t seen daimons in this store before, but usually I was aware enough of my surroundings to at least wait in my car until they’d left.
That was probably part of my bad luck too.
There was no enmity in her eyes though. We were both scared at that moment, and I was the only one who could do anything about it.
Well, anything good . I didn’t know exactly what she could do, but it probably wouldn’t help the situation.
I just had to get close enough to the gunman to touch him, which seemed… risky. Given the gun and all.