Chapter 20 Brin
Brin
When we return to the apartment, we hardly get inside the door and take our shoes and coats off before Marco is on me again, his fingers twisting into my hair and his mouth hot on mine.
Now that we’re in the privacy of our own home, I can do whatever I want.
A small part of my brain says that this is Marco—my roommate and one of my best friends. Am I sure this is what I want?
The rest of my brain—and my body—really want to do more. And I know Marco wants me to be comfortable, to set the pace. That means I take us the next step forward, hovering my hand over his lap. “Is this okay?” I ask, nerves fluttering in my stomach.
“Very okay.”
I grip his erection through his jeans. Marco groans and pulls his mouth away from mine. He sits down on the couch and pulls me into the cradle of his thighs. “If you want to take it slow,” he says, “I’ll be careful with you, okay?”
“I know you will.” I nod my head as much as I can in his hold. “I know you think you’re an asshole, but I think it’s everyone else who’s an asshole. I’ve only ever seen this tender, kind man.” I kiss him this time, lips firm before I pull back. “Also, let me be clear. You’re incredibly sexy.”
This grin he gives me is wolfish, and he reaches out, using his other hand to pull me into his lap where I straddle him. “Me? You’re the one who’s made me hard so much. You have no idea.”
In between kisses, we tell each other hot little secrets we’ve kept.
“I like it when you come back from a run in the summer and you take off your shirt and sweat drips down your chest.” I run my hand down his pecs, feeling the way his breath comes faster.
Marco nips my lip. “Now that I know what your vibrator looks like I’ve had some hardcore fantasies about it.”
My hands make it down to his abs. “Your gray sweatpants are obscene.”
He chuckles, and tilts my head to the side, trailing kisses down my neck. Beneath me, he shifts, turning us slightly. “I heard you orgasm in the shower the other day.”
My breath hitches when he hits a particularly sensitive spot, and he falls back against the couch, pulling me along with him. Face-to-face, I meet Marco’s gaze. “I was thinking about you.”
We’re lying on the couch now, Marco beneath me. I can feel how much Marco enjoys that last little secret by the way his rock-hard dick twitches against my thigh. He groans and thrusts his tongue inside my mouth.
God, kissing him feels so good. If kissing him is this good . . .
When I pull back, his gaze is hooded, lusty. My insides are tangled in knots and all I want is the exact right tug to unravel them. “How far are we going to go?” I ask, my voice hoarse.
I feel it all over when Marco groans. “You’re asking me?
” His hands knead my upper thighs. “You’re the one who shouldn’t rush.
Virginity is a bullshit concept, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have complicated feelings about it.
” He lets go of my ass. One hand moves behind his head, making his bicep bulge.
The other rests on my waist and he gently asks, “Do you want to talk about why you haven’t done it before? ”
I prop my head up on my fist so I can look down at Marco.
His hand on my waist starts making small circles.
“Well, first of all, I was taught abstinence in school and at church.” I punch the air with my free hand.
“Yay, Catholicism. My parents also made me wear a purity ring and . . .” I shrug.
“It wasn’t until I moved here that I was disabused of the idea that sex hurts.
” My cheeks are flushed, giving away my embarrassment.
Eva has enthusiastically encouraged me, and I definitely wouldn’t be on top of Marco right now if she didn’t treat sex like it was something to be celebrated and enjoyed.
“It definitely will not hurt,” Marco says firmly.
“I know. I mean, you’ve seen my vibrator. I’ve . . . done it with that, and you know I use tampons, so it’s not like my hymen’s intact.”
Marco’s eyes close and he makes a pained expression.
I bite my lip. “Too much information?”
“No, I’m picturing you with the toy.”
I laugh and bend down to kiss him again. I’ve been exploring Marco’s body, anything I can get my hands on. My palms fit so right curled around his shoulders. When I drag them up his neck and into his hair I can tangle my fingers in his dark locks and hold him tighter.
“Is this okay?” I whisper.
Instead of continuing, Marco pulls back to look up at me.
“I think you keep asking me if things are okay because somewhere deep inside you thinks that none of this is okay. That’s the purity culture talking, Brin.
I promise everything is going to be okay.
I will take care of you and I will make this good for you . . . if you want to keep going?”
“I do, I do,” I say quickly. “You’re right. It’s this nagging voice, but it’s not real. I want this.”
Marco bends his head and breathes one word onto my skin. “Good.” He’s holding on to the backs of my thighs, right where they meet my ass. His fingers trace a slow, lazy line across my pants, and I squirm against him. “This is real,” he says. “How much I want to pleasure you is very real.”
I shudder and, emboldened, I roll slightly over to my side and reach my free hand down to grab Marco through his pants.
His eyes fly open and he grabs me, letting his fingers curl around my wrist. “Stop that,” he pants. “There’s only so much I can take before I’m going to make a mess.”
I flush even harder, flattered that he thinks I could make him cum in his pants.
He drags my hand away, yet still arches up to rub against me the best he can. I meet his hips with mine and then we’re making out again.
Friction against Marco feels so good. The fly of his jeans sits right against my clit and Marco lets me take the lead, rubbing myself over and over again against him.
We’re not even making out anymore; I’m panting too hard and Marco’s pressed his head back into the arm of the couch, the muscles of his neck straining and his eyes squeezed shut.
His Adam’s apple is right in front of me, and I lick it.
It bobs when he laughs, a pained noise. “Fuck, Brin.”
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”
He opens his eyes and looks at me. “Yeah? How long?”
“Probably fourteen-ish months.”
He laughs. “Since we moved in together?”
I nod. I’m still twisting my hips, rubbing against his straining erection. “How about you? Is there anything you’ve wanted to do to me?”
Marco’s eyes flash. “Everything.”
“Come on,” I tease, and nibble on his neck. “One specific thing.”
“Well, I definitely want to watch you use that toy. Maybe even on me.”
I shudder. Wow. I did not know that it would turn me on so much to think about that.
“Brin? Is that something you’d like?”
I realize I’ve stopped moving. “Yeah,” I say. “But right now, I just . . .” I move my hips against him again.
His voice gets deeper. “What do you need? What do you want?”
I bite my lip and look up at him. “I really want to keep going.”
I have a moment of doubt—I know that’s not specific, and it’s probably not what Marco was looking for, but he accepts it anyway.
Effortlessly, Marco wraps his arms around me and stands up from the couch. I let out an “eep,” which makes him laugh. “Oh is this what it’s like way up here?”
He presses a hard kiss to my mouth while walking us into our bedroom.
The room spins as I fall backward onto the bed. Marco shucks off his jeans, leaving his boxer-briefs on.
Hello thighs.
He runs his hands up my legs and hooks his fingers into my yoga pants, waiting for permission. I nod and he peels them off my legs. I’m not wearing any underwear beneath, so the cool air hits me right where I’m flushed and hot from rubbing against Marco.
Marco kneels on the bed and helps me shed my shirt and bra. Then he picks my foot up and brings it to his mouth. He squeezes hard and then softly runs his lips over the arch of my foot, tickling me. I try to kick out and can barely move.
I scream, laughing, and then Marco’s smile is on the soft spot below my ankle bone. He makes his way up my leg, presses kisses and licks along the way. Halfway up, I can barely stand it, and tell him so.
He ignores me, and keeps moving at that slow, sedated pace. It’s hard not to tense up in anticipation as he draws closer and closer to my center.
Marco nips my thigh. “Breathe, or I’ll take my time going up the other leg too.”
“It does feel left out.” I can barely get the joke out as I try to restart my labored breathing.
“Has anyone ever done this to you?” Marco asks.
“Yeah. But not very well. Or at least, not enough to figure out if I like it or not.”
“Oh you’ll like it.”
I can barely process the words before his mouth is on me and my whole body arches. “Whoa!”
Marco chuckles and bands one of his arms around my hips and presses me into the bed. “I’m going to use my fingers, too. If I do anything you don’t like, tell me, okay?” I nod. “And for fuck’s sake, tell me if I do something that feels really good.”
“I will. Marco, please.” I am so wound up it hurts.
“I know, gorgeous,” he soothes. And then I watch as he sucks a finger into his mouth and moistens it. My legs curl around his head when he presses it into me, and then his mouth returns to my clit with a long swipe of his tongue.
I can’t tell exactly what Marco’s doing, but whatever it is it’s amazing. I let my head fall back and close my eyes. There’s the stretch and pull of what I’m pretty sure is multiple fingers inside of me now, and the steady sucking of his lips on my clit is bringing me higher and higher.
“More, harder, oh god.” I don’t even really know what I’m asking of him.
Marco does everything more and harder. Pressure inside me is building up and I lift my head to look at him. When we make eye contact, he lets out a groan that I feel all the way through my core.
My hands are in his hair, gripping his head as if to prevent him from going anywhere. My thighs are in on it too—they’re clamped tight on his ears.
I can feel his shoulder moving as his fingers pump in and out of me and my whole body tenses in one breaking glorious wave as I come hard on his tongue—harder than I’ve ever come in my life, harder than I knew was possible.
Marco’s eyes close, and I do the same, letting my head fall back, rocking against Marco’s hand as my orgasm hits me over and over again.
Then it’s over, leaving me faster than it came on, and I collapse back onto the bed. Marco slows, his eyes meeting mine and glinting as he slowly licks and massages me. It feels dreamy, the way he lets his fingers slide over my slick lips.
My legs fall open, relaxed now, and Marco lays his head on my thigh, still stroking me.
Everything I’ve experienced up until this point was amateur hour. I am relieved I never had intercourse with anyone else I fooled around with. I want Marco to be the first.