Sixteen
Nate
Even though we’re nearing the end of the semester, I still watch the front door of my small apartment. My parents wanted me on campus after my uncle told them about Jace’s decision to stay in Missouri. He didn’t tell me though, and I wouldn’t let myself believe it was true until I heard the words from him myself. He could change his mind, and if he did, he’d need a place to go. A place with me. Months later and the words still haven’t come. My hope is dwindling.
Not once while we’ve been apart has he written me back or returned my calls. I don’t stop sending messages, though. If anything, I’ve doubled them, attaching pictures of me eating lunch at the nearby park or watching one of our favorite movies. I send him a picture of all the extra space in the tub whenever I take a bath, the extra pancakes I can’t finish on my own, the new books I buy for us to buddy read when he gets here.
I want him to know I haven’t given up, that I’m still waiting. Waiting for him to wrap his large arms around me in the new king bed I recently got. Waiting for him to sit behind me in the tub to wash my hair. Waiting for him to come here and give me more good deeds to add to our list. Waiting for him to need me to turn a bad memory into a good one. Waiting for him.
Breaking my eyes from the door I decide I’m angry at for never opening and bringing me what I need, I look at the time on my phone. When I realize I only have a short amount of time to get to class, I jump up from the couch and grab my backpack from the floor. Before pocketing my phone, I tap on Jace’s name.
Me : I’ll save you my chips from Quiznos today. You know I always only want the sandwich and drink.
Me : It’s supposed to snow a little today. I heard you got a lot where you are. Hope you’re staying warm.
I slide the phone into my pocket and exit the apartment. The weight is so heavy, increasing with every unanswered message. Dragging one foot in front of the other, I pick up the pace when I spot my car, then I get in and drive to school, still waiting for my phone to vibrate. Waiting for Jace to be ready to end the silence between us. Waiting and waiting. Always waiting.