Chapter 107 #2
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng sighed. He’d considered this problem before himself, but he never ended up saying it out loud.
Lao-Xu had said Jiang Cheng knew what he was doing, but Gu Fei was the one who really knew what he was doing.
He’d handled everything on his own for almost two decades.
When it came to deciding what to do and exactly how to go about it, Gu Fei was surer and clearer than anyone else.
“Although I feel like it doesn’t make much of a difference whether I talk to you about it or not. ”
“Cheng-ge,” Gu Fei said as he pinched Jiang Cheng’s chin, “do you trust me?”
“Of course,” Jiang Cheng answered without thinking.
“No matter where I am, if I want to, I can prove myself as well,” said Gu Fei.
Jiang Cheng looked at him and nodded. “Mm.”
Jiang Cheng didn’t ask about Gu Fei’s decision again. He didn’t know whether Lao-Xu ended up tracking Gu Fei down to talk about it, either.
He’d already guessed what Gu Fei’s decision was.
Gu Fei would never accept any kind of help—that was just the kind of person he was.
In the close to twenty years he’d lived, he’d always had only himself.
If he could solve something on his own, then he would.
It was already a matter of habit. And if he couldn’t handle expensive tuition, he would go to a school he could afford.
This was who Gu Fei was. If ever he was willing to open his eyes, he would be invincible.
Jiang Cheng knew that whatever choice Gu Fei made, he would not interfere, feel sorry for him, or lament his choice.
When it came to his boyfriend, Jiang Cheng could launch into singing his praises without blinking—he could rattle off a whole essay with a perfect score without even skipping a beat.
***
Jiang Cheng kept his phone off until after he’d submitted his application. He and Gu Fei went back to the life they led before: They worked some jobs, took some pictures, ate, slept, and walked with Gu Miao.
The days passed without incident. These peaceful days should’ve gone by very slowly, except this time, it felt more like a gust of wind—he scrunched his eyes up for a moment as it came, and it had already passed him.
There was no suspense over Jiang Cheng’s application; he had a clear goal in mind. Gu Fei’s application, however, saddened Lao-Xu. He had foregone the third-tier universities he qualified for and applied to a lower-tier local teacher training college.
Jiang Cheng didn’t think there was anything wrong with his boyfriend’s decision.
It was a school with low tuition fees and financial aid to boot, and he’d have a stable job on graduation.
The most important point was that the school wasn’t very far from Gu Fei’s home.
They had actually passed by it a couple of times while they were wandering aimlessly around town on their strolls—the campus was pretty big.
“How did you go about telling Lao-Xu?” Jiang Cheng asked. “He must’ve been disappointed. I bet he wouldn’t have given up without a hundred rounds of back and forth.”
“I said I wanted to be a good teacher like him.” Gu Fei leaned out over the windowsill with a cigarette in his mouth. “And suddenly he had nothing else to say.”
Sitting in the nest he’d made for himself on the sofa, Jiang Cheng burst out laughing. “You really are too much.”
“It was true—words of utmost sincerity,” Gu Fei said. “A college diploma is enough to teach middle school around here…”
Jiang Cheng cracked up. “Mr. Gu will specialize in curing all sorts of rebellious streaks.”
The two of them laughed together for a while, but gradually, they both fell quiet. With just one sentence, Gu Fei had set them on two parallel paths.
Jiang Cheng slumped on the sofa and propped his legs up on the coffee table, staring blankly at the TV.
His mind was completely empty, devoid of all thoughts.
He didn’t even know what TV show was airing.
However, he kept sensing the slightest stir from Gu Fei’s end of the sofa.
The guy smoked three cigarettes in a row, drank almost a whole glass of water, and got up to go to the bathroom once.
“Cheng-ge?” Gu Fei sat back down beside Jiang Cheng.
“I don’t feel like talking right now.” Jiang Cheng stared at the TV. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just gonna space out for a while.”
“Mm.” Gu Fei didn’t continue. Sitting beside Jiang Cheng, he stared at the TV with him.
Only when Jiang Cheng’s eyes started to feel dry and he got so hungry he felt a little nauseous did he grab the remote, switch off the TV, and turn to look at Gu Fei.
“Hm?” Gu Fei turned to him as well. “Hungry?”
“There will be a way,” said Jiang Cheng.
Gu Fei nodded. “Mm-hm.”
“Maybe we can’t think of it right now, but eventually, there’ll be a way. Even if there isn’t any way, even if we have to keep going back and forth between two places for the rest of our lives, that’s not a big deal.”
“Mm.” Gu Fei looked at him.
“Think of it as me being in denial if you want,” Jiang Cheng said, frowning. “But neither of us is allowed to let go.”
Gu Fei nodded again. “Mm.”
Jiang Cheng knew the problem could not be solved with simple childish perseverance—that would never be enough. But childishly persevering was the only thing they could do right now. So that was what they would do.
He didn’t discuss the matter any further with Gu Fei. Nothing would come of it anyway. Besides, the days were flying by way too quickly, so quickly that there would only be time to celebrate one more joint birthday together before the end arrived.
***
His acceptance letter arrived.
Lao-Xu’s call came in on Gu Fei’s phone. “That son of a gun, Jiang Cheng! Is he addicted to having his phone off?! Does he not want his acceptance letter?!”
“Come on, you son of a gun,” said Gu Fei. “Let’s go pick up your acceptance letter.”
It was the first time Jiang Cheng had been back to Fourth High since the exams. There were red banners strung up on both walls next to the front gate of the school: Top Scholar of the City, Top Ten in the Province—Mr. Jiang Cheng.
This was an achievement that would go down in Fourth High history, so they’d pulled out all the stops.
As he entered the front gates and laid eyes on the banners, Jiang Cheng froze. “What the shit?”
The display on the bulletin board at the entrance was another sea of red. He had managed to come to terms with the banners and posters, but here behind the glass there was a gigantic blown-up photo of him displayed front and center. “That’s me?”
“Uh-huh.” Gu Fei took one glance and started laughing. “Yes, Mr. Jiang Cheng.”
“What the hell, did they use the photo I gave them for my student ID?” Jiang Cheng exclaimed in extreme displeasure. “They could’ve used the ones from the basketball games! Why this one?! It’s totally fugly!”
“Not at all.” Gu Fei quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a bunch of pictures of the display. “It’s very handsome. We’re the only two people in the world who can manage to take such beautiful ID pictures.”
“Do you have any shame? You just had to include yourself even when you’re complimenting me?” Jiang Cheng glanced at him, thinking, but he still couldn’t let it go. “Can I talk to the school about switching out the picture? Maybe they can use one you took?”
“Cheng-ge, how are you so… vain ?” Gu Fei couldn’t stop laughing. “Who in Fourth High doesn’t know how handsome you are already?”
Jiang Cheng glared at him without a word.
“All right, fine, we’ll go talk to Lao-Xu about it,” Gu Fei said. “I’ll just blow up one of my photos of you and give it to the school myself, how’s that?”
“Sounds good,” Jiang Cheng said.
It might have been summer break, but there were plenty of students here for summer cram school. The whole way from the front gates to Lao-Xu’s office, Jiang Cheng was met with effusive praise, commendation, and looks his way.
As he accepted the acceptance letter from Lao-Xu’s hands, Jiang Cheng finally felt a sense of closure about his University Entrance Exams.
“Let me see… ‘Congratulations! We are glad to inform you that you have been accepted into our law program…’” Gu Fei read the letter intently. “Law major… Sounds extremely badass, Cheng-ge.”
“It is badass!” Lao-Xu was a little overexcited. “Here, Da-Fei, why don’t you take a picture of me and Jiang Cheng. Use my cell phone. Jiang Cheng, hold up your acceptance letter.”
Jiang Cheng thought taking a picture like this was utterly goofy, but he stood beside Lao-Xu and held up his letter anyway.
Lao-Xu spent a long time smoothing out his clothes. “Ready.”
Gu Fei took a photo of them with Lao-Xu’s phone. “Xu-zong, it’s time for you to get a new phone,” he said when he handed it back to Lao-Xu. “The picture looks like it was taken with a landline.”
“Oh, don’t nag. I am about to buy a new phone, as a matter of fact. It’s a joyful occasion, after all!” Lao-Xu thought about it for a second. “Maybe you can take another one with your phone and send it to me.”
“Ah…” Jiang Cheng sighed. He had no choice but to hold up the acceptance letter once again and crack open his mouth in a stiff smile.
***
Once they were back in the apartment, Jiang Cheng lay on the bed and let out a long breath. It felt as if everything was finally settling into place.
Gu Fei sat down beside him with the admissions package. He’d looked through it numerous times, from cover to cover, but he still couldn’t bear to put it down. He’d even spent some time setting up props to take a few pictures with his camera.
“Little Bunny.” Jiang Cheng touched his leg. “What exactly is there to look at?”
“I’m looking at how badass my boyfriend is,” Gu Fei said. “The U of R admissions package sure is fancy.”
“Your boyfriend is right here.” Jiang Cheng pointed at himself. “If you think I’m badass, it’d be great if you can turn around and look at the real thing.”
Gu Fei put down the admissions package and turned to gaze at Jiang Cheng for a long time. Finally, he smiled and said, “Cheng-ge.”
“Hmm?” Jiang Cheng put his leg on Gu Fei’s and rubbed them together.
“Have I ever told you,” Gu Fei said, “that you are the one thing I’m proud of?”
Jiang Cheng stared at him. It was at least another two minutes before he finally spoke. “Come here, let me have a bite.”
Gu Fei lay down beside Jiang Cheng, who rolled over and hugged Gu Fei tight before giving him a very earnest bite on the shoulder—even he himself could tell he’d bitten pretty hard.
Gu Fei sucked in a breath. “I can just hand you a knife so you can slice some right off—save you the trouble of biting.”
“And you,” Jiang Cheng said, echoing Gu Fei’s earlier sentiment, “are the only one I can rely on.”
***
Gu Fei’s acceptance letter arrived much later. When there were only a few days before Jiang Cheng was due to register at his school, Lao-Xu finally called. “Your acceptance letter! It’s here!”
Jiang Cheng also turned Gu Fei’s admissions package over and over in his hands. Now he understood why Gu Fei had done the same with his that day. It was satisfying. Anything related to his boyfriend was endlessly satisfying to look at.
“Chinese major.” Jiang Cheng took a bunch of pictures of the acceptance letter with his phone. “Good job, Mr. Gu.”
“Li Yan said we should all go out for a meal tomorrow,” Gu Fei said, laughing. “He mentioned it earlier when the scores first came out, but I didn’t say yes. Now that my acceptance letter has arrived and you have to go enroll soon, shall we all go out and eat together?”
“Mm-hm.” Jiang Cheng felt a complicated blend of emotions at hearing the word “enroll.” They had come to a decision already, though; he didn’t keep dwelling on it. “Sure, let’s go. I feel like I haven’t seen him and the others this entire summer.”
“Seeing me is enough,” Gu Fei said.
“That’s right.” Jiang Cheng leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose.
This meal was something of a two-in-one package—a celebration for receiving their acceptance letters, and a going-away party for Jiang Cheng.
Compared to the farewell dinner with his class, there was no atmosphere of emotional parting at the meal with Li Yan and the Fresh Out of Jail guys.
They ate meat, drank alcohol, and were generally merry.
It was an enjoyable meal all around. Li Yan and the others had pitched in to buy a very spiffy suitcase for Jiang Cheng as a gift.
It was even adorned with a thoughtful bow on top.
When Jiang Cheng rolled the suitcase back to his apartment, though, that sense of panic at their impending separation welled up in him once more.
“What am I gonna do?” he asked, looking at Gu Fei.
Gu Fei blinked. “What do you mean, what are you gonna do?”
“I’m a little…scared.” Jiang Cheng held Gu Fei tight. “I suddenly don’t want to go.”
“Okay then, you can redo this school year,” said Gu Fei. “Shall we have another year of endless studying for days and nights on end?”
“Fuck off , ” Jiang Cheng muttered.
“No need to be scared.” Gu Fei smiled as he returned the hug, rubbing his hands over Jiang Cheng’s back. “Cheng-ge’s so badass, Cheng-ge’s not scared of anything. I’m still right here. Just reach back whenever you’re scared, and you’ll find me.”
“Mm.” Jiang Cheng closed his eyes.
“Besides, I’ll be going there with you,” Gu Fei said. “What’s there to be scared of? To start, I can beat your roommates into submission—then you won’t be scared anymore.”
Jiang Cheng burst out laughing. “Dumbass.”
Gu Fei fell into senseless laughter with him.
Resting his chin on Gu Fei’s shoulder, Jiang Cheng gave in to the giggles until gradually, his nose started to burn. He accidentally let a tear slip quietly down his cheek.