9. Cassidy
NINE
CASSIDY
Some fluffball starts hissing before I even cross the threshold into the bedroom. I look down to find the fucking cat with his black fur standing on end, his tail twitching and eyes fixed on me.
I’m not the one who’s the fucking Antichrist, buddy.
I crouch in front of him, meeting him eye to eye. “You don’t like me? Get in line, bucko.”
He lets out a low and primal meow. Feeling daring, I reach my hand out, but the bastard slashes at my arm, his claw slicing my skin. Blood beads instantly at the stinging slash.
I grin and press my thumb to the cut and drag it down my forearm like war paint.
After being marked by the enemy, I stand back up and take in the sight of her sprawled across the bed with one leg kicked free from the covers.
The oversized T-shirt barely covering her ass, allows me to see the pair of pink lacy underwear underneath.
My cock hardens at the thought of slipping them off of her and jacking off with them, then leaving them for her as a present in the morning .
But this isn’t her apartment. No, it’s Jordyn’s. He left her all alone in this big-ass apartment to fend for herself. How dare he just abandon her. I heard him talk about how he had a job to do with Dimitri out of town, but still. I would never leave my girl.
She stirs, her soft lips parting, breath catching.
I sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to touch her even though all I want to do is never let go.
My fingers hover just above her knee and move up her thigh until I reach the sweet curve of her ass.
God, I could watch her for hours, breathe in her scent, watch the little flicker of her lashes as she dreams. Maybe I could bring myself back to when we were teenagers and I would watch her sleep for hours, just trying to prevent the world from crushing her under its boot.
But we aren’t teenagers anymore, and I don’t have hours to waste with her. So, I lean in close to her ear and whisper, “Does he touch you in your sleep, Binx?”
A grin creeps across my face as I notice her brow furrow, and a small, sleepy groan floats past her lips. Then her hand dives under the pillow and in one quick motion the click of a safety disengages and the cold steel of a pistol is pressed against my forehead.
God, I fucking love her.
Is it bad my dick is rock solid right now? I raise my hands slowly. “Good morning, sunshine.”
“Cass?” She looks at me, confused, but also like she knew this was coming.
“Took you long enough. I’ve been walking around this place for twenty minutes. You sleep like you’ve got nothing to be scared of. Not smart, Binx.”
Her finger doesn’t move from the trigger. “What the fuck are you doing in here? Tell me you didn’t break the goddamn door.”
I let out a chuckle. “Didn’t have to. Watched you punch in the code earlier. Copied it. Easy. ”
“When did you—nevermind. What the fuck are you doing?”
“Came back. Thought I’d watch you for a while until you woke up, then surprise you. Surprise!”
“I will shoot you.”
I grin wider. “That’d be romantic.”
Her glare sharpens and her chest rises and falls beneath that goddamn shirt. It clings to her too well and not enough. My teeth ache with the urge to tear it off her.
“Is this your boyfriend’s place?”
She barks a laugh. “Boyfriend?” she repeats. “He’s gay, you feral idiot.”
I blink. “Gay?”
She nods. “Painfully.”
Relief floods me like a drug. Then jealousy follows, just to make sure I know I’m not well.
I lean down, closer—just enough to feel her breath against my cheek. “Still don’t like you sleeping in another man’s bed—wearing another man’s shirt.”
Her eyes flash. “I don’t like my foster brother breaking in and watching me sleep. Kinda screams Dateline , Cass.”
“You think I came back to hurt you?” I tilt my head, eyes dragging over her face. That fucking shirt. “If I wanted to do that, you wouldn’t have woken up at all.”
Her breath hitches slightly as she lowers the gun. “I didn’t come here to hurt you.” My voice drops lower. “I came home.”
She throws the blanket off and hops out of bed and fuck, my gaze sticks to her like glue. The gun is still tight in her grip and part of me hopes she points it at me again just so I can beg for her mercy. She looks different than she did when she left through the window five years ago.
“You grew up,” I murmur, almost to myself. “You look . . . older. ”
She scoffs. “That’s what happens when someone disappears for five fucking years.”
I should bite my tongue, let her yell—slap me. But I’ve waited too long for this moment. I can’t just let her silence me. “I walked through hell and clawed my way out the front gates. The only thing that kept me going was you. Every goddamn day. Every night. You were the thing that kept me whole.”
She opens her mouth, probably to cut me off with some smart-ass response.
So I grab her chin.
Her breath catches.
“You missed me. I see it all over your face. You hate me, but you missed me. There’s relief in your eyes, Binx.”
She opens her mouth to deny it, but I push her back. Fast.
Her spine hits the wall. Her gasp cuts through me. My hand curls around her jaw, thumb brushing the corner of her mouth.
Her green eyes spark with fire. Her chest heaves. There’s a war going on inside her and I can feel it in the air between us.
“Cass—”
“No.” I press my forehead against hers. “You don’t get to push me away. Not after everything. I told you I would find you.”
Her fingers twitch against the grip of the gun. She wants to hit me. Kiss me. Tear me apart.
The thought almost makes me drop to my knees. “I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper against her lips. “I don’t care if you hate me. You’re still mine. ”
Her palms crawl up my chest until they are pressed flat against me. Then she shoves me, hard. My body stumbles back. When I look back at her she’s trembling and I can’t tell if it’s from anger or fear. Why would she be either of those things? I came back for her.
“You don’t get to do this,” she snaps, wrapping her arms around herself. “You don’t get to show up like some ghost and act like I belong to you just because . . . just because you were the only person who ever made me feel like I mattered.”
“Binx—”
“No. You think this is some twisted love story? That we can pick up where we left off like five years didn’t tear everything between us apart?”
Her eyes shimmer. She’s not yelling anymore, but I can’t say anything—the words don’t come. So she just continues her assault and I bear the hurricane she unleashes.
“That night ruined me, Cass—destroyed my heart. You told me to run, and I listened, despite every instinct in me screaming to stay. But I ran so far away with his blood on my hands and my clothes half torn. I listened to you because I thought you would come back. How fucking foolish”
She lying on the bed, defenseless. The blood on her hands. Me, staying. Her, running.
“You needed to run.”
“I did. I ran so far that I thought I lost you—that you’d never find me. Every day that passed was just another stab to my heart.”
“There was no sense for us both to go down for what happened. I was the one to kill him. I did that to save you—to save us.”
She’s shaking. Fists clenched. Eyes wet.
“You keep saying that like it makes you some kind of fucking hero. But you never came back for me, Cass. You left me. And now you come back and try to claim me? No. You need to leave.”
“I can’t leave you. I spent years trying to find where you went.
And even when I found you, I had to wait, so fucking long.
I can’t let you go again. I need you. Nothing has made sense the past five years until I saw you lying in that bed, asleep.
That’s the first time I’ve been able to fucking breathe. ”
“Cass, that’s not love, it’s poison. We can’t do this. It’s an obsession that we both know will end in blood. Nothing can save us from that.” She presses herself against the wall as if it’s the only thing holding her upright.
And I see it, the moment where she almost caves. Where she could fall into me like nothing ever broke.
But instead, she straightens her spine and wipes her cheek. “Please,” she says softly, “just leave me alone. You say that you had to climb through hell to come back to me. Well, I feel like you should have just stayed there, because I don’t want you.”
That’s when I finally step back from her. I turn around, not daring to look at her until my hand curls around the handle of the front door.
“I found you, Binx. I made good on my promise. I’m not letting you go.”
Then I’m gone, slamming the door behind me. And once again, my mind is too quiet without her beside me.