Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
shay
With daylight and sobriety comes a level of clarity I’d prefer to avoid before coffee.
I kissed Ridge last night.
I came in my friend’s lap like a Mentos dropped in a bottle of Coca-Cola.
Holy motherfucking rooster nipples!
Rolling over in the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in, I pull the covers over my head.
How am I going to face the man again? What if he’s already talked to the pack?
What will they expect? They don’t strike me as the kind of Alphas who would immediately jump in and maul me, but are they willing to take things as slowly as I may need?
Who am I kidding? After my first two-person orgasm in over six years, I might actually enjoy a good mauling.
But something tells me that this thing with the guys is going to be about so much more than sucking their dicks and taking their knots.
It’s going to require opening up a part of myself that’s been on lockdown for so long the hinges are rusted and the key is lost. It’s going to mean being vulnerable with another person—four to be exact—and that strikes a note of fear in my heart.
I meant everything I said to Ridge—I’m willing to try, but this is what I warned him about.
Leave me alone with my thoughts for too long, and my brain will come up with the craziest shit to convince myself I’m better off alone.
The truth, though, is complicated. Even while I’ve pushed away any and all chances at forming a bond with anyone other than JJ, Iris, and the others, seeing those same strong women with their packs has opened up this longing for something I always swore I’d never want again.
I’m not even talking about the physical closeness that comes with sex, though I’ve avoided that too.
I’m talking about companionship. Intimacy.
The sharing of life. In a lightbulb moment, I realize I’ve never been as lonely as I am right now.
With a sigh, I pull the covers back and glance out the window. The crack in the curtain tells me everything I need to know. It’s still pouring down rain, which means it will be another day or two before anyone can look at my roof. What the hell am I going to do? I can’t just stay here, right?
A ding echoes through the room, and when I sit up, I realize my phone on the nightstand. A closer look also reveals a glass of water, two ibuprofen, a folded sweatshirt, and a white box with a folded note on top. Curious, I unfold the small piece of white paper.
Out checking on the cattle. Be back soon.
L.
P.S. Don’t think too hard.
I’m grinning like an idiot. Guess that answers my question about whether Ridge spoke with the guys.
Lifting the somehow incredibly soft yet heavy cotton, I bring it to my nose and inhale.
The scent of green tea hits me, bringing comfort I wasn’t expecting.
Slipping it on over my head, a flutter starts up in my heart.
Time to grab the box before I get all mushy.
When I lift the lid and find my favorite donut from Iris’ shop, my heart pounds in my chest. One simple gesture and I’m practically melting into my sheets.
Fuck. Do I even stand a chance?
My phone dings again, forcing me to remember what I was doing to begin with.
Tapping on the screen, I open the message from Luke telling me he’s got the bar handled for the day after leaving me in the lurch yesterday, and a slew of messages in our group chat.
Clicking on that one, I’m almost scared to see if the Darling rumor mill has already caught wind of my current whereabouts.
Iris: Guess who just came into the shop in the pouring rain?
Jules: Another pack trying to convince you that you’re the one for them?
Iris: No. Thank God. LYON!
Jules: And this is news because…?
Iris: He was here to pick up Shay’s favorite donut.
Jules: Ooooh. Okay. Tell me more.
Iris: Get this… He didn’t even have to ask which one it was. He just KNEW.
Jules: Shay Bennett. You get in here right now and explain again how you’re JUST friends with Ridge but now have his packmate grabbing you sweets and knowing your favorite things.
Iris: There’s more.
Jules: Damn. It’s like you knew I was bored out of my mind over here. I flove you for entertaining me.
Iris: Apparently, little Miss We’re Just Friends is currently staying at the Young farm after an incident late last night with her roof.
Jules: Wait, WHAT?
Iris: Yup. I didn’t believe it either. Ballbuster Shay staying in a house with two sexy Alphas and two droolworthy Betas.
Jules: Sounds like a readymade pack to me.
Iris: Agreed. Bets on how long it takes before she’s wearing a set of twin bites?
I’m blushing. I suppose I should be grateful it’s my friends and not the Darling emergency phone tree with the details, but it won’t be long before someone else catches on and spreads the word. Nothing stays a secret in Darling.
Typing out a message then deleting it, twice, I try to decide which approach to take.
Snarky denial or honest vulnerability. I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit what had happened last night or what might be happening from this point forward, but I’m in way over my head and could use some advice.
Chewing my bottom lip, I debate it for all of two seconds before my fingers fly across the screen.
Me: Can y’all roast me later? Right now, I need advice from my best friends.
Iris: Got it. We’ll pin the jibes for later. Hit us with it.
With the next message already typed out, I hit send and practically hold my breath.
Me: Ridge and Lyon saved me from a waterfall in the middle of my living room last night and offered me a place to crash since it was so late.
After some much-needed whiskey, I may have kissed the one man who was supposed to stay in the friendzone.
He asked me to give his pack a chance, and while part of me wants to dive in head first—that would be my vagina, if that wasn’t clear—the rational part wants me to run away while I can. HELP!
I count down, waiting for one of them to call me out. Jules doesn’t disappoint.
Jules: Told you so.
Iris: Shay, you’re one of the strongest women I know, and those men? They are some of the kindest, most reliable, and swoonworthy guys in all of Darling. You could do a lot worse.
Me: But I’m not sure I want a pack. Or any entanglements at all actually.
Jules: Girl, that man knew your favorite donut.
Just give up now because that’s some next-level shit right there.
I’m not even sure my guys would know that!
As far as Memphis goes, that man is the sweetest Alpha I’ve ever met, who literally has a smile for everyone.
August only came around now and then while we were growing up, but other than being a typical boy, he was always respectful.
All that is to say… They’re good men, Shay, and you deserve a little good in your life.
My heart does that weird flutter again. She’s right. I’ve never even held a conversation with Lyon. How would he know something as obscure as my favorite donut? I should probably be leery of that in and of itself, but I can’t seem to be anything other than pleased by his attentiveness.
What a sad state my life has truly become if a guy buying me a donut makes me want to get on my knees and see if he’s big all over.
Me: What are the chances I can do this without all of Darling finding out?
Iris: You’re hilarious.
Jules: About as high as me reclaiming my virginity.
I snort. Somehow, the weight is already lifting from my chest even though worry over what will happen if this fails is alive in my blood. Darling is a small town. There will be no escaping them if this thing blows up in my face, and this time, I have nowhere else to go.
Iris: For what it’s worth, I think you’ll be good for each other. You deserve some pampering, and they deserve to have a little challenge in their lives.
Me: Was that an insult or a compliment?
Iris: Take it as you will.
Jules: She’s right. This is your one chance to live a little with men you trust. And you can try to argue with that statement, but the fact that you stayed in their guest room tells me everything I need to know.
She’s right. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust them on some level. That’s a positive first step, right?
Me: Okay. I’m not sure what the hell is wrong with me, but I’m gonna give them a shot. Let them prove they can handle me. If things go south, be ready with an escape plan.
Jules: You can count on us.
Iris: We’ll have our cars gassed up and bail money ready, just in case.
Me: I really do love y’all.
Jules: Love you too.
Iris: Love you more.
Falling back into the cloud of softness, I stare up at the ceiling. Oh god. I’m really doing this. Remembering last night and everything that happened, one thought rushes to the forefront of my mind.
I’m not fucking doing this smelling like mildew and dirt. No matter the years that have passed since my disastrous relationship with Miles, there are certain parts of my grooming that will help me out now as I stare down the possibility of pack.
Throwing the covers off, I slide out of bed and suddenly remember that I was naked up until a few minutes ago. My eyes go wide, thinking of Lyon coming into my room. Did he get a peek at the goods? When a pulse of need hits my sex, I realize I apparently wouldn’t mind if he did.
Stalking into the bathroom, I find the tile unexpectedly warm beneath my feet.
A small thermostat sits on the wall, its screen containing more functions than I dare look at.
Someone turned it on for me, and if I had to guess, I probably have Lyon to thank for that too.
The glass shower is large, with multiple showerheads, and I’m a little too excited to try it out.
My cabin was simple, with a tub-shower combo.
Nothing like fancy warmed tile and a spa-like shower experience.
As soon as the water heats up, I step in and let the hot water run over my tight muscles.
It feels incredible. With my hands working a luxurious shampoo into my hair that smells phenomenal, I try to keep my focus on what I’m currently doing versus what will happen when I leave the confines of my room.
Rinsing out my hair under the spray, I grab the conditioner and start working it through the strands.
I’ve just started to drift off in thought again when a loud bang sounds out right beside, sending me spinning around as I release a high-pitched scream.
Before I have time to laugh at what I’m seeing, the sound of boots hitting the ground running reaches my ears.
Christ on a cracker.
The sight of the Alpha blasting through the doorway momentarily distracts me.
He’s shirtless, revealing the stark black lines of the tattoos covering his entire upper torso.
The metal bars through his nipples glint against the dark backdrop, and I swallow down an entirely inappropriate whine.
His bottom half is clad in—of course—gray sweats.
With damp hair and hazel eyes alight with murder, his sudden appearance is so mesmerizing I forget to cover myself.
Forget I should shout for him to get the hell out.
Hell, I’m pretty sure I forget my own name.
The wetness that immediately pools between my thighs tells me I have absolutely no control over my body’s reaction to the Alpha who’s staring at me with wide eyes.
Looks like we really are doing this thing after all. Hope they don’t regret it.