Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
SAMARA
It was as if Lilith had never been in the castle. The staff bustled around, bringing us drinks as if the centuries of tyranny under Lilith’s rule had been nothing but a bad dream.
Everything felt strangely normal, yet entirely wrong.
My brother should have been sitting at the head of the table. Reve had acknowledged me publicly, gotten the council to allow me to stay, and then... disappeared again. Just like that night when he’d told me to run and pushed me toward the window.
Why come back only to leave again? There had to be a reason. There always was with Reve. I just wished I knew what it was.
“Shouldn’t we be concerned that the servants might poison us?” Val’s question pulled me from my thoughts as Amari eyed his glass with deep suspicion.
“They are tied to whoever has control of the castle. They’re loyal to me now, I think.” I wasn’t entirely sure how the magic binding the house staff worked, but they seemed happy enough to serve me. Perhaps they were relieved Lilith was gone.
Nico and Amari sat in tense silence, both of them abnormally quiet after Edmund’s marriage bomb at the council meeting. At least their mutual jealousy had put a temporary end to their hostility.
I stole a glance at Nico, remembering the night before—his hand wrapped around himself, his voice rough as he described what he would do to me. Heat crept up my neck. This morning, he’d barely looked at me, slipping out of bed before I woke, creating distance where there had been none.
Had I pushed too far? Crossed a line we couldn’t come back from?
He’d started it, but I could have stopped it.
I’d been fully aware of where the line was drawn, and I’d watched myself step over it anyway.
I traced invisible patterns on the table as I remembered the strain in his voice, the conflict in his eyes.
I knew his feelings about becoming more intimate than we already were.
How many times had I caught glimpses of his struggle?
The way he’d pull back, reset boundaries, create distance whenever we veered too close to something more.
Despite that, I’d pushed. Some part of me had wanted to break through that wall he’d built and be the exception. But people don’t heal on command, even when you desperately want them to.
As the servants brought steaming platters of food, Val’s voice cut through my spiraling thoughts. “So, why is your hair purple?”
I nearly choked on the drink I’d taken. I was honestly a bit surprised the council hadn’t asked me about my hair.
Nico cleared his throat beside me. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“Everything’s my business. Witches are the only ones who can change things to those colors.” Val took a bite of meat and chewed slowly, his eyes never leaving mine.
My hand instinctively reached for the end of my braid.
The purple had appeared when I’d been struck by lightning.
“I’m not a witch. I woke up one day, and it was like this.
It was probably the stress of losing my parents and my brothers.
” I pushed food around my plate, suddenly not hungry.
“And even if I were a witch, what would it matter?”
“Yeah, Val, would it matter? It’s not like you two are married.” Amari stabbed at his food with enough force to crack the plate beneath, then viciously chewed once it was in his mouth.
Val shifted in his seat, the movement drawing my attention to his elegant hands. Hands that had once caressed my cheek with such tenderness that I’d almost believed his promises of forever. “It would be nice to know what we’re dealing with.” His gaze slid to Nico. “What’s your deal?”
Nico narrowed his eyes, chewing deliberately. “What do you mean, what’s my deal?”
I sighed and put down my fork, looking between the three men.
This was a disaster. One I had created by letting Val stay, by not sending Amari away after his attack, and by crossing lines with Nico that couldn’t be uncrossed.
“We need to start being civil toward each other. I know it’s going to be hard, but we really can’t afford to be fighting. ”
“I’m not the one who has issues. Maybe you should let them go at it.” Val wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “I like to watch. You evidently do too.”
My face burned hot enough to light the castle torches as I snatched my wine glass with clumsy fingers, nearly knocking it over. The liquid sloshed dangerously close to the rim as I brought it to my lips and gulped down half its contents in one desperate swallow.
Of all the innuendos Val could have chosen, he’d picked the one guaranteed to make this excruciating dinner worse.
Val smirked with an arrogant tilt of his lips that had once made my knees weak but now made me want to throw something at him. Like my knife.
“How about we make a truce?” He leaned forward slightly as if sharing a secret. The candlelight caught the sharp edges of his face, making him look more dangerous than usual. “We try to get along and not fight over spilled nuts?”
The double entendre hung in the air like a challenge. The muscles in Nico’s forearm tightened where it rested near mine on the table. Val knew what he was doing.
Truce, my ass.
The silence that followed stretched uncomfortably as we ate.
I stole glances at each of them, wondering what they were thinking.
Nico’s jaw remained tense and his shoulders stiff.
Amari looked ready to turn to stone and pummel everyone at the table.
Val maintained his usual mask of casual indifference, but I’d known him well enough once to recognize the storm brewing beneath.
I picked at the food on my plate, my appetite diminished by everything pressing down on me. A missing council member and his entire village. The other council members who barely acknowledged my existence. My brother’s mysterious departure. And three men, who hated one another.
And somehow, I was supposed to lead this mess?
“When do we leave for Shadowmere?” I was desperate to break the silence.
Val leaned back in his chair, swirling his wine. “The sooner we find Winston, the sooner we can stabilize the council.”
“And the sooner I can get away from your bloodsucking ass,” Nico muttered under his breath.
Amari’s fingers tightened around his knife. “Watch yourself, rodent.”
I kicked Nico under the table. “How did the incident in the hall start?”
Nico’s jaw twitched, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “I was going to get coffee for you. That’s all.”
Amari crossed his arms over his chest. “The rodent pelted me with nuts from his little hip pouch.” His deep voice rumbled through the dining room. “He called me a glorified garden gnome and asked if birds shit on me often.”
My mouth fell open as I whipped around to stare at Nico, who suddenly became very interested in the ceiling beams.
“You did what?” I pressed my fingers to my temples, feeling the beginnings of a headache. “Did you actually throw nuts at him?”
Nico shrugged one shoulder. “I might have flicked a few cashews at him to test his reflexes.” He took a casual sip of wine. “For security purposes.”
Val snorted, not trying to hide his amusement.
“He launched ten nuts at my face in rapid succession.” Amari’s eye twitched. “Then rated my gargoyle form on aesthetic appeal compared to other garden statuary.”
Nico’s lips curled into a smirk. “I gave him a solid seven out of ten. Would’ve been higher, but the constipated expression brought down the overall score.”
I buried my face in my hands, mortified. Meanwhile, Val had abandoned all pretense and was now openly chuckling.
“And then…” Amari sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “He tried to balance them on my nose while I was frozen in place.”
“For the record, I stacked three before he moved.”
“I’m impressed.” Val raised his glass in a mock toast.
“You would be,” Amari growled.
“I don’t think I deserved to be thrown down the hall and almost stomped on.”
“You bit me.”
“You had your hand around my throat!” Nico straightened. “What did you expect me to do? Say please and thank you?”
Val chuckled, drawing all our attention. “I think I like you, squirrel. You’ve got balls.”
“Don’t call me squirrel.” Nico’s voice dropped dangerously low.
“Enough. Let’s focus on tomorrow.” I reached for my wine again, taking a long swallow. Really, I needed something stronger.
Val’s expression sobered. “We’ll need to be careful. There’s no telling what we might find.”
I started making mental notes of what we’d need. “We’ll need weapons.”
“I’m a weapon.” Amari flexed his fingers. “And so is he.” He nodded toward Nico, though the acknowledgment seemed to pain him.
“Even weapons need backup plans.” I met Val’s eyes across the table. “The armory might still be stocked. We can check it in the morning.”
Val held my gaze a beat too long, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes. His lips parted slightly before he finally nodded. “Good idea.” Why did the velvety tone of his words travel straight through my chest and settle somewhere lower?
I pretended not to notice, just as I pretended not to notice how his fingers traced the stem of his wineglass.
A servant appeared at my elbow, refilling my wine. I thanked her, noticing how her eyes widened in surprise at my words. Lilith wouldn’t have bothered with such courtesies, I imagined.
What would happen if I failed? If I couldn’t find Winston?
I hadn’t asked for any of this. Not the royal blood in my veins, not the responsibility thrust upon me, and certainly not the complicated tangle of feelings for two of the men at the table.
Nico leaned closer, his lips nearly brushing my ear. “You look pale. Are you okay?”
I forced a smile. “I’m tired.”
His brow furrowed, and I knew he didn’t believe me. He’d seen me at my worst over the years, held me through nightmares, and watched me break down over and over. He knew what my face looked like when I was drowning, and he never looked away.
I stood abruptly. “I’m going to bed. We’ll meet at the main gate in the morning.”
Without waiting for a response, I turned and left the dining room, feeling their eyes on me as I retreated.
Once back in my room, I leaned against the closed door and exhaled heavily. What was I doing? Pretending I had any right to lead when I’d spent centuries hiding?
I’d perfected the art of invisibility, of curling myself small enough that Inferna’s predators might pass me by. Now I was expected to stand at the center, to command men like Val and Amari, who had lived and breathed power struggles.
I slid down to the floor, my back still pressed against the door as if the responsibility and weight of expectations might force their way in and consume me. What was the point? I had no magic, and thinking that I could do this was insane.
My desk caught my eye, and I jumped to my feet, scanning the room. I made my way toward the table where fresh blocks of soap sat in neat rows, gleaming white against the dark wood. My fingers hovered over a block of soap, not quite touching it, and a chill skittered up my spine.
A soft knock made me nearly jump out of my skin, and Nico pushed the door open. His eyes immediately narrowed, taking in my defensive posture. “Something wrong?”
I held up a soap. “A gift from you?”
He walked into the room, closing the door behind him. “No.”
“Maybe Val then.” I put the bar down and turned to face my friend.
“You ran off.” He had stopped halfway to me, his hands shoved in his pockets.
“I needed a minute.” I walked to the window, staring out at the darkness. “It’s a lot.”
“It is.” He stayed where he was, the space between us feeling both physical and metaphorical. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Which part? My brother? The missing council member? That I’m supposed to take my brother’s place when I haven’t been a part of this for centuries?” I turned toward him. “Or what happened last night?”
His jaw tightened, and he looked away. “Sammy...”
“I know.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “It was a mistake. You made that clear this morning.”
The space stretched and contracted with each heartbeat before he sighed, the sound weary and weighted with unspoken complications. “I didn’t say anything this morning.”
“You didn’t have to. You’ve been avoiding me all day.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” I stepped toward him, trying to bridge the gap. “Nico, I—”
“We can’t. It’s not just about us, Sammy. It’s everything. Your position here, the council, the throne.”
“I don’t care about any of that.”
“But you should, and deep down, you do. You’re the princess, Samara. The Luna heir. And I’m just a squirrel shifter who’s spent his life running.”
The words stung, not because they were cruel, but because they contained a grain of truth that I wasn’t ready to face.
“So, what was last night?” I already knew the answer but decided to torture myself more than I already was.
“A moment of weakness.” He looked away again. “You were going to marry the bloodsucker.”
I didn’t know if his comment or changing the subject to my past hurt more. I bit my lip to stop the tears from forming in my eyes. “That arrangement died with my parents.”
Nico nodded slowly, processing this. “Do you still have feelings for him?”
The question caught me off guard. “No. He represents a past I’ve been running from. Nothing more.”
Nico didn’t look convinced. “Whatever happened between you two, it’s still there, Sammy. I can see it.”
“The only thing between Val and me is a broken engagement that was a political arrangement.” The words tasted like half-truths on my tongue, and I pushed a stray strand of purple hair behind my ear, feeling Nico’s scrutiny.
“We have a job to do. That’s all. Everything else is just noise and distraction, and frankly, we don’t have the luxury for either right now. ”
Nico stepped closer, his hand reaching for mine before stopping midair and falling back to his side. “I want you to be careful. With him. With all of this.”
I knew he meant more than physical safety. “I will be.”
We stood in silence for a moment, everything unsaid hanging between us.
“You should sleep.” He turned to leave, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. “Sammy?”
“Yes?”
“No matter what happens... I’m with you. I always have been.”
The door closed softly behind him, leaving me alone with the echo of his words and the tangled mess of my feelings.
Tomorrow we would leave, but tonight I was searching for the strength to be what everyone needed me to be when I wasn’t even sure who I was anymore.