Chapter 10
LAINEY
My throat burned as I downed more water to wash away the acrid taste of bile that lingered in my tonsils after having thrown up for the second time today. But I didn't have time to take a sick day, so I donned a mask and kept things sterilized.
"You really don't look good," Wren said, looking up from her place across the table as she plucked perfectly baked cupcakes from the metal pans and set them aside to cool.
With one month left until the fundraiser, we were in full swing of baking.
These cupcakes would be sealed in containers to preserve their freshness and frozen in the bakery's large walk-in freezers until thirty-six hours before the event.
No way we could bake them all in one weekend with the business running.
"Thanks for that vote of confidence," I mumbled. It came out muffled because of the mask. "It's just the flu or something."
My sister gave me a concerned look, but didn't have a response for me immediately.
The high school kid I'd hired to work the front counter kept eavesdropping on our conversation, making it difficult to be very open with her.
I had my concerns about the mysterious sickness that had no other symptoms, but every time I thought about it I almost broke down crying.
The kid swept in to pick up a tray of brownies ready to be stocked in the case out front, then swept out just as quickly and Wren scowled at me.
"You really think you should be baking all this food if you're sick?" I knew what she was doing, picking at my last nerve until I snapped, which seemed to be closer to the surface lately than normal.
After a month of avoiding anything to do with what happened at the Atlas on my wedding night, I knew the conversation was bound to come up sooner or later.
She knew what I'd done, and I hadn't faced it at all.
I was shocked someone from the Kingston family hadn't shown up on my doorstep demanding a fix already.
"I'm fine," I snipped, pointing at my face. "I have a mask, see? And I washed my hands well."
"Geesh..." She rolled her eyes as she set the pans into the sink and turned back to the cupcakes, reorganizing them so there was a sliver of space between each row for better cooling, the way I'd shown her how.
But the way her eyebrows drew together and dipped in the middle told me she was frustrated with me.
Guilt tangled in my already tight chest, making the irritation I felt even worse.
Wren had no clue how hard I had tried to keep my head on straight for the past month.
Brandon's incessant messages every day, morning noon and night like clockwork, were grating on my last nerve. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I had a house full of dead or dying flowers to deal with because he kept sending apology bouquets when I wouldn't respond to him.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I felt nauseous again, but I choked it back by swallowing a gulp of water and focusing on spooning the fresh batter into cupcake papers.
"You know you can't keep running from what's happening."
My temper flared and I slammed the spoon down into the batter so hard it splattered out of the bowl all over the counter as I glared at my sister.
Her eyebrows rose slowly as she picked up a towel from the shelf behind her and wiped her hands.
I couldn’t believe how easily frustrated I was with everything lately, and overly emotional. It was getting to me in every way.
I didn't know why either. It just felt like no matter what I did I couldn’t calm down. I was either on the verge of tears or the edge of exploding at all times.
"Are you okay?" Wren asked as she set the towel on the table over the splatters of cupcake batter.
"No," I said, bottom lip trembling. "I'm not okay. This is not okay. Every plan I had for my life got derailed and I don't know what the plan is anymore." I fought back tears but one leaked out anyway.
"What's setting you off?" she asked, walking around the table to stand next to me. She reached up and swiped her finger across my messy apron, collecting some of the cupcake batter that had splashed there, then she licked her finger clean.
I looked down at the mess and realized several of the cupcakes we had just baked and prepped for freezing had been splattered too, which meant more baking for me later on. I was failing to hold it together and Wren was seeing through the cracks.
"I don't even know. Brandon keeps sending these flowers, and messaging me.
I swear, sometimes I feel like maybe I made the wrong choice.
No one else is knocking down my door to send me flowers and be romantic.
" The thought stung. Somewhere in the back of my mind I did think about Kade and what happened, and wonder why he hadn't reached out yet.
Maybe he was giving me time to cool off and put that marriage license to good use.
But it was a stupid idea to begin with and outside of Wren, I had no desire to let anyone know how foolish I'd been.
"He's a total jerk, Lanes." Wren squeezed my hand and I looked up at her pouty lip. "But this doesn't seem like just nerves. When I asked if you're okay, I meant, are you okay?" She emphasized the words, which made me shudder. "You're moody, teary eyed, throwing up..."
She didn't come right out and say it, but she didn't have to. I held my hand up and spun away from the table, walking toward the back office. I couldn’t stand and listen to her voice out loud what I was trying to avoid saying to myself.
"No, I'm fine. I don't—"
"Lainey, stop." She followed me, catching up to me when I was stooped over the trash can with my mask in hand, feeling like I might throw up again any second.
Facing the truth that I might be pregnant after a crazy wild night of sex and getting tattooed and married was a hard pill to swallow for me.
This wasn't me. I didn't do this sort of thing.
"No," I choked out again as I gagged and covered my mouth. This time when the tears came I couldn't stop them.
"Oh, babe," she mewled as she took my hair and held it back.
Thankfully I had emptied my stomach thoroughly enough earlier that nothing more came up, but it didn't stop Wren's words from making me feel worse.
"Honey, are you sure you aren't pregnant?
I mean, you did sleep with a rando and it's been almost six weeks now. "
When the heaving passed I collapsed into the chair behind me, letting tears stream down my cheeks while trying to ignore how panicked I felt.
The idea of adding a baby to my crazy life seemed impossible.
I could barely make ends meet as it was.
The minute Brandon yanked his financial support from the bakery, I'd have to find other investors. As for rent, my month-to-month agreement with my landlord made it easier for him to evict me if I was late. He had a dozen people lined up to take it already, since I’d intended to move out when I got married.
"I'm afraid," I whispered and Wren wrapped her arms around my head and pulled it into her belly. She stood hugging me and talking. But her arms covered my ears, blocking out what she was saying. She pulled away eventually so I could hear, but it didn't help me feel better.
"And no matter what happens I'll be here."
I sniffled and used the corner of my soiled apron to wipe my eyes and blow my nose, then untied it and tore it off. It was getting pointless to be at work anymore today. I was too emotional to be of any good to anyone, and if I kept throwing up customers were going to think I was passing germs.
"Go home, babe," she said softly. "Stop at a pharmacy, get a test. I'll come over when the baking is done." Wren patted my shoulder. There was nothing she could do to stop the inevitable, but facing the truth meant more tears. Her offer to come by my place was sweet.
"You sure?" I asked between stuttering breaths.
"Of course. I'll lock up and come over later. Go on. I'm really sorry this is happening." Her bottom lip pouted out and she backed away as the oven timer started to ding, announcing the latest batch of cupcakes was finished.
"Remember to let them cool all the way before freezing or—"
"I know, I know. They'll come out soggy. Go." She waved me off before she vanished up the hallway, and I sat in that chair alone for a moment knowing she was right. I had to get a test and put my questions to rest.
If I was pregnant, it wouldn't matter whether Brandon was the sweetest guy in the world who really felt sorry for what he'd done to make me go off the deep end.
He'd never take me back. And what would I tell Kade when he finally did come knocking on my door for that annulment we discussed?
How would I hide a baby from a celebrity with enough money to buy his own island?
I picked up my purse and used a napkin from the storage shelf to wipe my face again and blow my nose, then grabbed my keys and headed for the back door.
It was getting late, and the pharmacies would all be closed soon.
If I wanted a test in a very discreet way where people wouldn’t talk, I'd have to drive across town to get one, which meant maybe rushing to get in and out before closing.
But when I stepped out the back door, heading to my car with my head down, I heard a low whistle as someone called my name.
I lifted my eyes to see none other than Kade Kingston, dressed in dark jeans and a white polo with his hair loose around his eyes, leaning on the side of a ritzy sports car. And he was staring right at me.