Chapter 5
ETHAN
I raced over to Alicia’s apartment as soon as I knew she had arrived back in the city. It had been just over a week since my life imploded, and I’d heard no word from her. Not even a damn smoke signal.
How irresponsible! I needed to know if she was safe and staying off the internet.
As someone always in the limelight, I knew how cruel people could be—proven by everyone who was currently hunting me down with pitchforks. Sure, it didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but I didn’t give a fuck. I was only concerned for Alicia.
I thought of the messages I had sent earlier that fateful night. The ones that actually went through.
“ Alright, I get it. I’ll give you some space then come and see you when I’m back.”
Straight after I had found out about the video and received the worst verbal lashing from my Dad. I booked the first flight home.
All calls to Alicia bounced, which I accepted. What I didn’t expect was to find her apartment empty when I arrived.
“I was just shocked, love. You know I’m not good at that stuff. We will talk soon.”
I told her we would talk soon, so why the fuck did she run off before we could even discuss anything?
“Miss you.”
That last message hit different—a minute tell of my vulnerability at the time. It had me reeling with anxiety—and, dare I say it, nerves. I wasn’t used to expressing those types of emotions, didn’t like being victim of them.
After my disastrous reaction in her apartment, freshly followed up my foolish drunken rants, I knew I was fucked.
I had to see her. To apologise and try to explain why I had reacted the way I did.
But more importantly, I had to communicate why I was as messed up as I was. My issues ran deep, and when she had dropped those commitment bombs on me, I panicked. It had me reverting back to my childhood days when I would have to switch from defence to offence in a manner of seconds.
I had to make Alicia understand that, although my actions showed it was everything to do with her. It, in fact, had everything to do with me .
Seeing her was the only thing that was going to relieve the weird ache that had taken root inside me.
So, as soon as I made it back to the city, I sat in the foyer of Alicia’s apartment building for hours, waiting for her to come home. I didn’t know how much time passed until the same doorman returned for his next shift, finding me in the exact position I was in before he had left.
The older gentleman approached with sincere eyes, his name badge flashing on his chest. “Son, have you had something to eat?” Burt asked.
I shook my head.
“Sleep?”
I repeated the motion, scared to talk in case I screamed instead.
“Who is it you’re waiting for?”
I licked my dry lips. “Alicia. She’s on level sixteen. Reception said they can’t get a hold of anyone in the apartment, and she… she broke her phone, so I can’t get in touch with her.”
Burt’s face softened. “Ah, Miss Thorne.” My attention spiked at the mention of her name. “She may be away. She does work hard, that girl.”
Work. Idiot!
“You’re a damn genius, Burt.”
Seeming pleased with my reaction, Burt returned to his station near the entrance as I called Alicia’s office at Stella Financial Management.
I immediately deflated as Felix, her boss, answered. Clearing my throat, I managed to ask for Alicia.
“Sorry, Mr Harris, but Miss Thorne has taken some emergency leave. I’m currently looking after her clients. What can I help you with?”
Emergency leave? Alicia worked fast and didn’t fuck around, as proven by her swift escape. Runaway girl, indeed.
Things were more dire than I had realised.
“Ah, nothing. Can you get her to call me when she’s available?”
“Of course. Are you sure I can’t—”
“Nope.” Then I hung up. It was probably a dick move. Which was the norm for me now.
I found myself pacing, unsure of what my next play should be. Who else could I use to get in contact with her?
I hadn’t even met any of her family or friends. What is wrong with me?
We would usually hook up at my place, but on occasion, I would go to her apartment when her sister and nephew weren’t there. Alicia never offered or asked for me to meet them, but I also never showed interest in that part of her life.
Hence, I had nowhere else to turn. No clues to follow. Further proving how much of a self-absorbed asshole I was.
As I shuffled past Burt, he laid a hand on my shoulder, which sent a spark to my brain. Before I could talk myself out of it, I hit him with an offer that we both couldn’t refuse.
“Burt, if you message me when Miss Thorne returns, I will pay you $20,000.”
He narrowed his eyes. Professional facade gone. “She’s a good girl. I’m not letting you or any man loose on her.”
A spark of respect registered. But that didn’t help my situation. “I’m good for the money, if that's what you’re worried about?”
“I’m not going to let you hurt her,” he said, his voice hard as steel.
I huffed. “If anything, I’ll be the one who gets hurt.” When she slaps me upside the head. “ I won’t even touch her.”
“There are other ways to hurt someone, Mr Harris.”
Awareness and disappointment flashed in the older man’s eyes, causing shame to ignite in mine. He had known who I was the whole time.
“Now, how about we make a deal,” he continued as if he didn’t just gut me on the spot. “You will give me $50,000 in return for one text. But I come with you. You do not enter her apartment. You do not touch her. You do not threaten her in any way. I will be there… watching.”
Man, who does he think I am, some stalker?
Well, he’d have a point there.
“I swear. I only want to talk to her.”
He assessed me a minute longer, then offered a hard handshake. “We’ve struck a deal.”
“Deal.”
I had waited and waited for that pesky text to come through for days, wondering if I had been conned by the innocent-looking doorman called Burt. I had only sent him half the money as insurance, but after no word, I was definitely contemplating my life choices.
Until my phone beeped, and I was in the car and on the road in sixty seconds flat.
I gave myself a pep talk on the way to her apartment. Rallying towards my next play.
I’ll let her yell, scream, cuss me out—anything . Probably even consider letting her throw hands and land a few, too.
We were both fiery and hot-headed—that’s what originally attracted us to one another.
Alicia was extremely passionate, and I didn’t hold back either, which usually converted to the best outcome in the bedroom.
We were a burning inferno together in nature and personality, yet that often spilled over in overzealous words or regretful disputes.
As proven by Subject A—me. This time, I didn’t know if a weak apology would be enough… The thought had me terrified.
I didn’t even remember driving all the way to her apartment complex, but the next thing I processed was barging into the elevator with Burt chasing behind.
“Breathe,” he said from behind my shoulder, the reminder well-taken as I followed his command.
When the elevator slid open, I took one more deep breath, made my way to Alicia’s door and knocked.
I was ready for her rage. Come at me, love. Burn me up and spit me out. Just give me another chance.
After the longest five minutes known to mankind, the front door swung open, giving me the first glimpse of her in what felt like forever.
But what I found wasn’t what I expected.
I anticipated my fiery little vixen spitting insults and curses my way. But there was none.
Instead, there stood Alicia. Stone-cold, apathetic and utterly indifferent. As if I didn’t matter. As if we didn’t matter… As if I were a stranger.