Chapter 16
ETHAN
I was a ghost, haunting the halls of my extravagant mansion as the vultures circled the front gates. I found myself in a special type of purgatory that was once considered my home.
There was no escape. I was unable to step foot outside, let alone breathe without someone shoving a camera down my throat. The paparazzi were ruthless, calling out slurs, baiting for a reaction. All famished and salivating for the rotting remains of my reputation.
My mother—scratch that, Miss Collins had fucked me over again . What have I done to this woman for her to hate me so much? All I ever wanted was to be her son—to be accepted and acknowledged—without her asking for anything in return.
Now, she had cast the final blow, and any remaining hope I had completely shattered alongside my childlike dreams, confirming everything I already knew to be true.
I’m not worth loving.
I stared down at my plate of untouched chicken when my door opened, then slammed shut.
Oh, hell no! Someone’s about to die.
As I bolted upright, my dad came barrelling around the corner, and when his eyes met mine, something in my psyche suddenly snapped. My knees buckled, and he caught me before I could hit the ground, his arms squeezing tight preventing me from completely falling apart.
We sat side by side on the couch, the silence more tolerable than it had been in days.
“I couldn’t get a hold of you, son. I was worried.”
“I need a new phone. I smashed it when the notifications wouldn’t stop coming in.”
Dad nodded, his features carved into a look of concern.
He had always been my rock, the one I could rely on and turn to for support. “I’m sorry I brought her back into our lives, Dad. I’m sorry I let her remain a member in mine. I’m sorry I was so weak that I gave this person enough power to destroy me.”
Dad hung an arm over my shoulders, his presence familiar and warm.
“Listen to me carefully, Ethan. You are not weak. And she does not hold that type of power! Audrey has always been a narcissist. That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her . I want you to fight this. Fight for yourself, son. Don’t give her any more of you. ”
Resolve began to take root. She had taken too much, pushed me too far. It was time she paid for the consequences of her actions.
“Where do I begin? I don’t even know where to start,” I murmured as if I had reverted to a hopeless kid asking his dad to fix everything.
And like any caring parent, Rudy Harris remained solid and resolute.
“Give me your phone, son. Let’s make a few calls.”
A month had passed.
At times, I was so hopelessly lost I was drowning under the weight of all my fucked up choices. However, there were snapshots of clarity—small reprieves that felt like I was chipping away at the emotional baggage of my past.
Dad moved in. I started therapy. And after some inner turmoil, I finally shoved against those unfounded fears and pressed charges against Audrey Collins.
Her prime time special went viral, causing the demons of media hell to crash down on me. Deals were cancelled, sponsors deserted and I was forced to take leave—“for my own well-being”, Coach said.
I didn’t blame him. I was mentally wrung out, and that had taken a toll on my game. I was in the middle of a brutal legal battle, the case public and downright messy.
Audrey was conceited enough to think I wouldn’t retaliate. But when I finally broke through that invisible hold, the illusion of a mother figure evaporated to display the grotesque monster underneath.
She tried to destroy me. So that’s what I intended to do in return.
But despite that absolute shit storm, it was not my greatest source of contention. That was reserved for another—a female who continued to hold my attention and devotion above all else.
Alicia Thorne.
I sat beside the pool, staring down at the substitute phone with trepidation. No one had my new number, and all social media was shut down.
I knew her contact by heart, and I had typed out so many messages I’d lost count.
Temptation became a slow, aching torture.
I was desperate to hear Alicia’s voice, to feel her skin. I’d even settle for her scathing words. If I could only steal some small piece of her, to hold and cultivate, it would be enough.
However, every time I went to press send, that dreaded guilt would push forth, preventing the follow-through.
I couldn’t bring myself to be selfish. That’s all I’d been in the past.
Alicia didn’t deserve to be pulled into the chaotic mess of my life. She didn’t need a broken, fucked up man-child like me running her down and forcing her into my toxic space.
That’s when I vowed I would do more. I’d focus on my healing, develop into a better version of myself. Become worthy of her.
Alicia deserved the world. And that’s all I wanted to give—on a silver platter with me on my knees, in my rightful place before my queen.
Hold on for me, love. Just hold on.