CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE SAWYER #2
I’m not sure how long we stay like that, our tongues dancing together, our need so palpable that it fills the air in the cabin, but when she finally pulls away, I feel dazed, unsure of my surroundings. The only thing that matters is the girl on my lap and the way she makes me feel.
“I didn’t feel right charging you,” she says as she draws circles over my half-exposed chest. “Please don’t be mad about it. It felt like the only way I could pay you back for everything you did for my family and me.”
“I told you, you helped me too, Fallon.”
“I know, but it made me feel better, so don’t be mad.”
I sigh heavily and move my hands up and down her thighs. “Not sure I could actually be mad at you for long.”
“I’m going to remember you said that.” Her mouth descends and presses another kiss against my lips. “But I am going to need your cabin.”
“For real?”
She nods. “Yes, for real. But don’t worry—I have an alternative place for you to stay.”
“If you say Jaz has a spare bedroom, I’ll go to Village Hardware right now and buy myself a tent.”
She chuckles and shakes her head. Her fingers dance across my chest. “You can stay with me.”
“Is Sully going to be with Tank?” I ask. “If so, I’m going to switch out his mattress, and I pray to Jesus he doesn’t realize it’s different.”
She heaves a heavy sigh. “Ugh, why are you making this so difficult.”
“What?” I ask, confused.
She meets my gaze. “You won’t be staying in Sully’s bed—you’ll be staying in mine.”
“Ohh...” It hits me, and I let out a loud laugh at my stupidity.
“It’s not funny.” She pokes at me.
“I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at how idiotic I am for not picking up on what you’re saying.” I look her in the eyes. “Is this your way of trying to get in my pants?”
Her expression grows serious. “No, this is my way of telling you that I love you, and I want you near me, all the time.”
My breath catches in my throat, and the world feels like it spins around me in slow motion. I shift on the chair and lower my shirt because this is a moment I want to remember, and I don’t want half my chest exposed.
I know what those three words mean to her, and I know she never said them to Peter. So, for her to say them to me, to open her heart like this, I’m quite aware of the giant leap of faith she’s taking.
I tread carefully as I take her hands in mine and entwine our fingers.
“You mean so much to me, Sawyer,” she continues when our eyes connect.
“You’ve made me feel like this complex and scary journey doesn’t need to be traveled alone.
How you interact with Sully, my dads, even Jaz, all the people that matter the most to me.
.. you’ve adopted them as your own, and I can’t tell you what that means.
And beside all that, you treat me like I’m the most important person in your life. ”
“Fallon,” I say softly. “You know you matter to me—”
“Oh God, wait, did I misunderstand you in the lobby?” she says, her eyes wide in embarrassment as she attempts to stand from my lap. “I’m so stupid—”
“Stop,” I say as she struggles to get off my lap. “Let me finish.” Her eyes well up with tears, and I quickly ask, “Why are you going to cry?”
“Because I just assumed when you said you loved me in the lobby, you meant you were in love with me. I read you wrong, and you’re not there yet. I can hear it in your voice.”
“Well, you’re not hearing it correctly. I’m trying to tell you I love you too, very much.” I pause, letting that sink into her beautiful, stubborn head. “But I don’t want to ruin it by moving too fast.”
“Don’t you think saying ‘I love you’ is moving fast?” she asks.
“No. I think when you feel something for someone, you express it. We’ve spent a lot of time together, and those feelings have grown.
I know mine were growing even before we were together.
Now that we’re together, those feelings have solidified.
But I already messed things up with you, and I don’t want to mess up again. ”
“You won’t,” she says, her voice almost desperate.
“I promise you won’t mess it up. I’m here, Sawyer.
I’m not going anywhere. This is what I want.
Us. You. And we don’t have to do anything—we can just cuddle, but at least stay with me.
If you’re uncomfortable, we can find you another place to stay in the meantime, but at least just give it a shot. ”
I lift my hand to her cheek and cup it gently. “Babe, I know I’ll be anything but uncomfortable. I just don’t want to push you too far.”
“Don’t worry about that.” She grips my shoulders. “You’re not pushing; you’re slowing down the gratification of having all of you. Please just let me have every last inch of you.”
A grin pulls at my lips. “Hell, how could I say no after that?”
“Really?” Her face lights up like a thousand suns, rays of joy beaming from her expression.
“Really.”
And then, once again, her lips are on mine and her hands are up my shirt.
“Do I smell cookies?” Sully says as he walks into the living room as I’m pulling a tray of snickerdoodles out of the oven.
Two weeks ago, when hanging out with Fallon, I found Grandma Joan’s personal cookbook with all her favorite recipes and modifications.
The pages were filled with printed-out recipes, handwritten ones, and extra notes, everything torn and splattered with ingredients.
Well loved for sure. Ever since I found it, I’ve made it my mission to make everything in it, to bring a little bit of Grandma Joan back into the residence.
Tonight, I figured the best thing I could make for everyone was a batch of Grandma Joan’s snickerdoodle cookies, especially since we had leftover pizza for dinner to keep things easy.
I spent most of the day helping Fallon with check-ins and acting as a bellhop while escorting guests to their cabins, but once everyone was checked in, she sent me up to the residence to hang with Sully while she wrapped things up.
I thought a snickerdoodle surprise would be nice for her.
“You do smell cookies,” I say, turning around.
Sully glances at me, and confusion passes over his face. “Sawyer, right?” he says slowly.
“Yup, you got it.” I smile.
Fallon printed a picture of me and put it on Sully’s door, so when he exits, he knows I’m not an intruder, especially since she’ll be spending more time at the desk.
When check-ins slowed down, I spoke to her about hiring someone to run the front desk, and she said she was already on it—she’s had quite a few inquiries from people around town about helping at the Cove, including a cleaning staff.
But since she was in the middle of reservations and in need of funding, she held off.
She believes that in a few weeks she can hire some people to help.
In the meantime, it’s me and her—and Sully, if he’s doing okay. He’s more entertainment than anything.
“Did Joan make these?” He walks up to the cookies and takes a sniff. “They look like she did.”
Heartache grips my chest as I carefully place my hand on Sully’s shoulder. “Joan has passed, Sully. I’m so sorry.”
I brace myself for what’s to come, but instead of breaking down like he normally does, he clears his throat. “Ah, right, I meant, uh, Fallon, did she make these?”
I tread carefully. “No, sir, I did. I found Grandma Joan’s recipe and thought I’d make them as a surprise for you and Fallon. I hope that’s okay.”
He steps away and carefully observes me. It does make me sad to see him like this, completely confused, especially since we’ve shared some really good times together while fixing things up around the Cove. I can’t imagine how Fallon must feel.
“Well, that was nice.” He clears his throat and moves toward one of the cooled baking sheets.
He picks a cookie up and examines it before taking a bite.
As he chews, he examines the cookie, turning it over in his hand and thoroughly checking it out before he looks back up at me.
“Not like Joan’s, but good enough.” Without another word, he takes one more cookie and heads into his bedroom.
I chuckle to myself and put the cookies on cooling racks so I can wash the baking sheets.
I already did the dishes and cleaned up around the house; I dropped my things off in Fallon’s room, opting to not unpack so I could bake cookies instead.
I have plenty of time to move in fully, so I’m not too worried.
Once I finish cleaning the pans and putting the cooled cookies in a Tupperware, I hear the stairs creak, indicating Fallon’s approach.
“I knew I smelled cookies.” She pushes through the door and walks over to me.
She places her hand on my chest before standing on her toes and giving me a chaste kiss. “Did you make these?”
“I did. Thought I could do something for you and Sully on grand reopening day. Sully charged in here, took two, and then retreated to his room. He did make sure to let me know that Grandma Joan’s are better.”
“Everything Grandma Joan did was better, according to Sully. Don’t take it too personally.”
“So, I shouldn’t go cry myself to sleep?”
“No, don’t waste a tear on it.” She glances over at the cookies. “Can I have one?”
“I made them for you, so yes.” I reach out and pick up one from the cooling rack. “Here.”
She takes the cookie and nearly eats half of it in one large bite.
“Whoa, now that’s a bite. Something I like to see in a woman.”
“A biter?” she asks.
“No, being able to fit a lot in her mouth.”
Both her eyebrows lift at the same time, and I realize what I said.
“Uh, not like that. I mean, sure, if you can take a lot, great, but it’s not, like... required or anything.” I drag my hand over my face in defeat. “Can we move past this conversation, please?”
Her hearty laugh fills me with ease as she takes my hand in hers. “Only because I want to go lie down.”