Chapter Thirteen
JUST LIKE PENNY’D chosen Noah.
He didn’t want her declarations of love that night she woke…
maybe he wouldn’t have believed them. Hell, maybe he would have wondered how sincere they were, wondered if they’d have been uttered because she had no other choice.
But she could give him time… time to realize she’d left her human life unfinished.
So far, there wasn’t anything between them to disappoint him. She’d been staying in his pack house because she had nowhere else to go. Sure, she could have stayed with Penny and Noah, but she’d snorted when Amos mentioned for the umpteenth time how they made everyone nearly gag with their PDA.
Isaac had given her a guest room to use.
And that had set the tone for them. Things hadn’t been right.
They felt stilted, awkward between them.
He felt guilty, or maybe responsible, for her forced change.
Or maybe she shouldn’t have asked him to be the one to bite her. Maybe she put this pressure on him.
Maybe it was expected that she’d choose him because she had no other options.
Outside it was snowing. She placed her fingertips on the glass, feeling the cold through the pane. It would feel good tonight. The wolf’s fur was heavy, a barrier against the cold. Might even make her change go faster since her human body would be naked and freezing until the fur sprouted.
How would she leave? How could she leave without her heart breaking?
Because, even though it was wrong to pick Isaac because it was expected, her heart would miss him.
She’d miss the way he smiled, the fine lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes.
The way his scruff lined darker at his jaw.
The way his eyes would turn icy blue every time they landed on her.
But she didn’t have a choice. Things couldn’t continue on this way.
What would she do when he found a true mate—one who was born, not bitten—and fell in love?
He would be awkward, refuse to toss her out, and would sacrifice his happiness out of his alpha duty.
While she didn’t—and would never—fit in.
She turned away from the window and startled.
Isaac stood in the doorway, watching her.
“I-I didn’t hear you come in.”
“No. You were lost in your thoughts.”
She hated this. Hated the awkward, stilted conversations between them.
Hated that he expected her to come to him, to choose him.
Because that signified how he felt that he should take care of her—Penny’s sister.
Maybe their relationship would have gone differently if she’d never gotten marked by Rhett.
If she and Isaac had a chance to explore the budding love between them before she was changed.
Now she had all these hormones and instincts and rage roiling through her that she shared with the wolf.
“We’re changing tonight.”
“I figured.”
“Tomorrow we’re going to get a Christmas tree. Set it up in the entry. It’s pack tradition.”
Another area she didn’t fit in. Their traditions.
“I-uh—I thought I’d go down to town. Put in a few applications.”
He raised a brow. “Now?”
“Holiday help is needed all over.”
“You just turned—”
“I have to tolerate people at some point.”
“It’s too soon.”
“It’s not. I feel ready.”
His stance looked deliberately relaxed but she knew it wasn’t real. He was tense under that show. “Take the holidays off. Take the winter off. Come spring, Penny’s going to need you. You don’t want to take a job and then need time off for her change, do you?”
“I can’t go months without a paycheck. My father will have frozen my accounts just like he did Penny’s.”
“If you need money, I’ll put money—”
Maybe her voice was a little harsh when she said, “No! I don’t want your money.”
His expression cooled. “Why not?”
“It’s not mine.”
“Not yet.”
Not ever. But she couldn’t say that. Instead, she smiled tightly. “You’re right. It doesn’t make sense to get a new job right now.”
Especially because she still had to deal with her parents. Penny couldn’t go through what she had. Even if she made it out alive this… this emotional constipation afterward would cost her relationship with Noah. The one person who made sense to her. Caitlin had to fix this for Penny.
“Hey,” Isaac said softly, yanking her from her wandering thoughts. “Let’s make some dinner together. Just you and me. Before everyone else gets here.”
She nodded and smiled, hoped it reached her eyes.
It didn’t fool him. As she walked across the room, he reached out for her. Hooked his arm around her neck. “C’mon, pretty wolf. Let’s go make your rabbit food.”
“Salad? You’re willing to eat salad?”
He snorted. “A side salad. With the rest of my meal.”
Just like that, things were smoother between them as they chopped vegetables. Tenderized steak. Baked potatoes. Laughed and joked about things that didn’t really matter.
“Took the top off the hot tub. As soon as we change back to human skin, we can plunge right in to warm up.”
“Naked?” she asked, scandalized.
“Well, we can dress first but chances are, the entire pack has seen our naked asses.” His eyes twinkled.
“If it makes you feel any better, your sister will probably be waiting in there, holding down the fort with a glass of wine and a swimsuit on. And she’ll complain sorely as dicks start swinging when we climb in. ”
Penny being there first—alone—did make her feel better, somehow. Not just because she felt like an outsider, but Penny was the only human. Would she feel like an outsider too when she went through her change?
They sat down at the smaller table, the more intimate one centered in the breakfast nook that they used when it was just them.
He’d smeared butter on their steaks. They were delectable, and the first bite melted in her mouth.
“God, I think food tastes better as a wolf.”
“Or you just got a man who can cook.”
When her eyes flew up to meet his, he was focused right on her. Reminding her daily of her place. Did he really want her for herself? It almost seemed too good to be true.
But she had something important to do. Something for herself, and for Penny. And in the roundabout way, for shifters. For humans.
Her wolf tamed his. Her person tamed him. She had no idea what he was like before because he wasn’t that ruthless man who took before asking. He wasn’t the one who lived by the wolf’s instincts.
But now? He could feel her slipping through his fingers, like he was trying to hold onto water without a cup. And somehow, somewhere, he needed to find that cup. He needed to contain her.
The wolf called him a fool. Said she should have no choices.
Tell her she’s their mate, no ifs, ands or buts.
And he was tempted, so tempted to lock her up and never let her out.
But deep down, he knew he’d lose her for good that way.
He and wolf had to compromise. They had to woo her, make her hate to leave.
Show her how good it could be between them… if she’d only give him her heart.
He didn’t know what was weighing on it. He could only assume it was all the new hormones from having an animal born inside.
Being born, not bitten, meant he’d never had to go through that.
He’d known two people inside him from day one, even if they didn’t see eye-to-eye, he still didn’t have to get used to sudden hormonal surges.
“My mother was human.”
“What? She was?”
He nodded, pushed a piece of his potato around on his plate. Speared a piece of broccoli with his fork.
“My father was alpha of this clan. He’d seen her in town, fell for her. But he wasn’t a good man. And she was a good girl.”
“What happened?”
“He took her. Got her pregnant, told her she’d have to stay for the sake of the baby. Because no one knew about shifters back then and surely, she didn’t want to put her own offspring at risk?”
“Emotional manipulation.”
He nodded. “It worked for years, until I was a teen. I was old enough to stick up for her then, and she would stick up for me. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like that her focus wasn’t solely on him. So the selfish bastard decided to turn her.”
Sweet Caitlin gasped. “Against her will?”
He nodded. “No preparation. No trying to sweet-talk her into it. I think he knew his days of sweet-talking her were over. So he bit.”
Now Caitlin put down her fork, but she laid her hand on his. “Did she make it?”
He shook his head. “She was never right. Her wolf was born from violence and wanted more chaos. Wanted to kill everyone and everything. My momma? She was always sweet and her human side couldn’t take it.”
He could tell her the horror of it all. That her wolf wanted to take him out—her only child.
Because that was what the creature thought was the only barrier keeping their human side in line, and their animal wanted control.
His mom wouldn’t have that. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she took a match to a gas stove.
Blew the entire cabin before her wolf could stop it.
That she’d only had the wolf for a week. That took strength, and he always admired strong women. Just like his Cait.
“And you were alone.”
“With a father that hated me. With a crew that hated me for being his. I didn’t have anything left to lose but the one thing I wanted to lose.
The connection to him. I challenged him and he laughed.
It was his mistake. He should have been around more to see the monster I carried inside.
There were rumors, of course. But he was too arrogant to listen.
It was a bloody battle. My wolf toyed with him.
Strung out the death longer than necessary.
For that, most of the old-timers didn’t stay. They thought I was too unstable.”
“But this crew did?”
“Not at first. The twins did. Their dad had died earlier and mom moved on. The family were at the bottom of the pack, but that didn’t matter to someone like my mom.
She’d befriended them anyway. That loyalty stuck even after her death, the entire pack really liked her.
Noah and Misty moved off with their parents, but the new pack didn’t feel like home.
They came back. Joaquin? He’d gone rogue for a while but when he saw the rest of us joining up, he returned. ”
“And then Noah met Penny.”
“Then Noah met Penny. I probably should have been kinder, but she was human. I saw what could happen to humans.” He shrugged. “I was wrong. She’s been good for Noah. A good member of the pack.”
“I’m sorry about your mom. I would have liked to have known her.”
“You would have gotten along like two peas in a pod.” He smiled, and it was genuine. For once, he didn’t feel sorrow at his tale. He felt like he could remember his mother for the good in her life. The times the two of them shared.
Caitlin brought him that.
They finished eating and cleaned up the kitchen together, and he loved that. He would be more than happy to do it all, but he loved spending extra time with her. And sometimes, when she wasn’t in her head, he knew by the sweet smiles and the way she stood close to him that she loved it too.
When the rest of the pack started wandering in the front door, she went quiet again. He wanted so badly to know what she was thinking.
Don’t let mate pull away from us.
The wolf was right. So, when Amos and Alex started teasing her, he noticed she slipped out of her shell a bit. That was his chance. He moved close to her and took her hand in his. Didn’t let her go, not even when the front door opened and Noah and Penny came in.
One by one, they filtered outside, Penny bundled up in her big coat. The rest yelping from the cold as they stripped naked under the awning, and quickly changed.
“I’ll stay human and wait for you to change.”
Her eyes zipped up to him. “I-I still don’t know how long it’ll take.”
He lowered his forehead to hers. “Take as long as you need. There’s no rush.”
The others weren’t going anywhere, just playfully nipping and chasing each other.
“Go on!” Penny called to Caitlin. “As soon as ya’all drop your clothes, I’m going to take the piles inside so they don’t freeze. Then I’m going to relax in the tub.”
Isaac grinned at Cait. “Penny doesn’t want to strip off her human modesty while I watch.”
Caitlin gave him a quivering smile back, and then pulled off her clothes. He wrapped her up in his arms, planning to keep her as warm as he could until her wolf emerged.
She grunted and groaned, fur sprouting but melding back into her skin. Finally, her spine gave the trademark jerk and cracked, but the change still slowed for her.
He crooned softly into her ear. “It’s okay, love. Relax. I know it hurts. It’ll happen soon, and then the pain will be gone.”
And the rest of the pack, knuckleheads as they were, they whimpered in response to her suffering and slowly approached.
Noah licked her blue feet, warming her toes.
Joaquin laid his head over her chest, listening to her heartbeat.
Misty whined and nuzzled her neck. Amos put a fat paw over her belly and Alex licked her arm.
They howled, calling to her wolf. Asking her to join, and sonofabitch if it didn’t work.
Her face twisted, her body elongated, pulling away from him as she slowly began to shift.
He left the others licking her, helping her onto four trembling feet, as he stepped back and stripped, tossed his own clothes onto the deck, and then leaped off the stairs, changing midway in the air.
He landed right next to his little wolf.
She nipped at his rump, making him chase her as they ran off toward the trees.
He would forever chase her. That would never change.