Chapter 28
Come Undone
I smile at Jagger from across the sofa. It’s a content, comfortable smile I never thought I would have for him.
But he has really shown me a different side of him tonight, and I like what I see.
Maybe too much. After I got over the initial shock of what he had waiting for me, he dragged me into the shower, and like both other times I have been with him, he took pleasure in bathing me gently, followed by rubbing arnica cream over my bruised ass cheeks so tenderly it’s hard to believe he’s the same man who took pleasure in punishing me with his belt in the first place.
When he was satisfied his job was done, he found me a T-shirt of his to change into, and the two of us came back out into the living room.
He moved the platter to the coffee table, and we curled up on the sofa in front of the fireplace, stuffing our faces with cheese and fruit and drinking more champagne than we probably should have, because I’m now more than a little tipsy.
Through the tall windows, dawn is breaking, light slowly creeping in, bringing the lake to life.
I don’t know what this feeling is, or about this crackling tension that’s now simmering between us.
All I know is something major has shifted for us, and I don’t think it’s just my imagination, because the grump is smiling back at me, and it doesn’t look forced. He looks happy. Really happy.
“What are you grinning at?” he asks, same damn grin on his face.
I polish off the rest of my flute and place it on the table, relaxing back into the sofa.
“This place is so pretty. Thank you for bringing me here,” I say instead of spilling my real feelings for him.
I’m sure it’s just the champagne messing with my head or the orgasms. I’m just high, not falling for him in any way.
“It was nothing.” He brushes it off, casting his line of sight to the view out the window. It’s obvious how special this place is to him. He can deny it all he wants, but this is enormous that he brought me here.
“Except we both know it was.”
His gaze comes back to me, and he tries to shrug it off, polishing off the rest of the champagne directly from the bottle before relaxing back on the sofa and closing his eyes.
“Jagger, what happened with your last girlfriend?” I have no idea what possesses me to ask, probably too much bubbly. But also, it’s been bothering me since Sloane mentioned her. It’s not been long since things ended between them, and I need to know what that means.
His brow rises and his eyes pop open, fixing on me in a way that tells me I need to tread carefully. “I told you, I don’t have girlfriends.”
I roll my eyes. “The last girl you were seeing then. Your sister said you only just broke up with her. Is she still in the picture?” I know I sound needy as all hell, and I have no right to be, but I can’t help it. I deserve to know the truth.
He pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him, then, brushes an escaped strand of hair behind my ear. The man is such a contradiction—soft and hard, rough but caring at the same time. I have no idea what to make of any of it. “Did you just roll your eyes at me, flower?”
“Nope.” I grin back at him playfully; we both know I did.
He takes my chin in his hand. “It’s a bad habit. Do I need to spank it out of you?”
I purse my lips and make sure to lock my eyes with his. “Don’t change the subject. You know all about me, I want to know more about you. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”
His forehead creases. “My sister has a big mouth,” he grumbles.
“Lucky someone does, or I would be completely in the dark. All I know about you so far is you’re a bossy asshole who likes to get your own way and dishes out punishment when you don’t.” My voice is light and playful but holds an edge to it. “Oh, and you eat pussy like a sex god.”
That breaks his concentration and makes him laugh. “What more could you need to know?” His hand slides down my back and settles on my ass cheek, squeezing.
I wince, the spot still tender from his last punishment. “I want to know everything about you,” I admit, knowing how needy I sound.
It surprises me when he doesn’t try to push me away but instead draws me closer so he can kiss my lips. “I think champagne is my flower’s truth serum. I’ll keep that information up my sleeve for later.”
I slap his chest playfully. “Jagger, I’m serious.”
He scoops up my hands and pins them behind my back. “What will I get if I answer this one question?”
Now it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. “If you don’t, what happened last night will be the last time.”
His lips twist up at the sides. “So, you’re saying I will get to fuck you again?”
“Jagger,” I warn him.
“What, flower?” he asks, all innocent, when we both know he’s not.
“If you can’t be honest with me, show me who you are even just a bit, then whatever this is, it’s done.
I’m serious.” My heart kicks up a beat because that’s the last thing I want, but I need more from him.
I don’t care how selfish that is. He made an effort here tonight; he wouldn’t have done that for just anyone.
His hand slides down my wrist gently, then he brings them all the way back up, gripping my wrists tightly.
He lets out a heavy sigh, his eyes flashing with something dark and unhinged, and I think I might have just pushed him too far.
“I was seeing someone who was useful in a few different ways. I didn’t need her anymore, so I broke it off,” he eventually answers me.
I sit up straighter, mortified for the poor girl. “You were using her?” I gasp, unable to hide my disgust at the idea.
He lets my hands go. “Don’t look so disappointed in me, flower. Every relationship is a business deal of some sort. An arrangement where one person or the other, sometimes both, trade something they want for what the other is willing to give. She was using me as well.”
My hands settle on my thighs, almost too scared to attempt to touch him again. “What did you want from her?”
He raises a brow, and I think he’s going to brush me off again. “She was useful in getting information from when Sloane was in trouble.”
“What?” I blink back at him. He used her to help his sister!
I can’t decide if I hate him for it or have just grown a whole heap more respect for him.
And something Sloane said to me at the café comes back to me.
She said that shit sounds like something he would do if he thought he was responsible for your safety in that way.
Is this what he does? Goes around doing what he wants in the name of keeping the people he cares about safe.
“She’s a cop,” he says like that makes it okay.
“Oh.” I blink back at him, not sure what to say about that. A cop with him seems like all sorts of bad news. How would that even come about, and why would she? “What did she get out of it?”
He chuckles darkly. “Me.”
I tilt my head to the side, wondering what the hell he means by that. “Elaborate, Jagger. You’re pissing me off with all the short answers.”
His hand slides up and over the hem of my T-shirt, brushing over my thigh.
I swipe it away. He’s not going to distract me that easily this time.
I want to know what he means. He looks at me, unimpressed by my rejection.
“Sometimes powerful women just want to be dominated. They spend so much of their time having to be in control that when someone offers them an out, an escape from the pressures of their life, they take it gladly.” His hand settles back on my thigh, his fingertips pressing in lightly as if he’s testing the waters.
She was with him because she liked his style of pleasure and pain, his way of dominating her and letting her submit to him.
I try to move out of his hold on me, suddenly needing space.
But he won’t let me, his fingers pressing into my thigh firmly enough that I can’t move away.
I flick my gaze back to him. “How did you meet her?”
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip. “I think that’s enough of question time. I want my reward.” His hand moves higher under the shirt hem, brushing the inside of my thigh.
I try to squeeze my thighs together and move off his lap, not ready to give in just yet, when I’m finally getting somewhere with him. But it’s no use. He moves his legs apart, and I have no choice but to widen mine just from the way we are sitting. “Answer me. How did you meet her?”
“Be very careful, flower.” He stares me down. Or what, he will punish me for asking some reasonable questions?
I stare back at him, not giving in so easily.
“I met her at my club, The Precinct.”
Why that makes my heart thump a little louder I have no idea, but I don’t like the unease it fills me with. Does that mean he could still be seeing her at his club? I swallow the lump now formed in my throat. “What does your club do exactly?”
His fingers slide between my legs, and he strokes me leisurely. “It’s more of a dive bar really, that’s what most people see it as. We host events at times, and we have a few private rooms for other activities.”
“Like Sloane’s club?”
He considers me for a beat. Then, he pushes two thick fingers deep inside me.
The sound of my arousal as he pumps in and out of me makes him grin.
It’s a little evil, and when I can’t help but let out a breathy moan, it only grows more sinister.
“More like, what Sloane won’t do at her club, those people come to me. ”
“So, it’s more full-on? More depraved?” My voice is a whisper as I try to keep my mind on the questions and not how he’s bringing me undone.
“More specialized,” he says with an air of arrogance, and I know that’s all I’m getting out of him.
I rock my hips over his fingers, itching for more. “Why can’t I touch you? When we’re screwing, you can do what you want to me, but I can’t ever touch you. It’s not fair.”
He pulls his fingers free and then pushes three of them back inside of me. I can’t help but moan into the room. I’m so full, so stretched, and he knows exactly what he’s doing to me, turning my brain to mush. “Fair? When did I ever say this was going to be fair?”
“Stop playing games, Jagger, answer me,” I whimper.
A flash of sympathy comes over him, only for a second, and then it’s gone and his cold mask is firmly back in place.
“We both have an ugly past, flower. It’s why you flinch whenever you think someone is going to hit you, but I don’t force you to talk about it, do I?
I had a fucked-up childhood, end of story.
” He drops his lips to my neck, placing a soft kiss just below my ear.
“Now if you’re done with the questions, you can give me my reward.
” He scoops me up and carries me through the living room, shoving open a door to a luxury suite.
I want to fight him on it some more, but I know I got more than he was willing to share already.
In the center of the room is a massive bed in upholstered tan leather with white linen bedding. He tosses me down, staring at me like he’s about to screw my brains out. Knowing him, I’m sure he is.
I scramble up the bed, leaning up on my elbows. “What do you want with me? You said, in every relationship, both parties want something from the other, like a business deal. What do you want?”
He lowers one knee to the bed, his eyes running all the way down my body. “Your brother is paying me to take care of you. We already established this, you got pissed at me, and that’s the end of it.”
“No, it’s not, because you don’t have to do all of this to look after me.
You didn’t have to show up at the club and book me twice; you didn’t have to bring me here to your special place.
” I stare back at him, my heart racing slightly because I don’t know what I want him to say, or expect him to say, but I need to hear it. “The truth.”
He cracks his neck. His lips twist at the sides as he removes his T-shirt.
Then the jeans are gone. He drops a knee onto the bed, then climbs over me like a predator.
Taking one of my hands then the other, he pins them above my head as he stares down at me.
“I want to own you. Possess every fucking inch of you. Make you mine in every fucking way possible. Our paths were never supposed to cross, but now that they have, I’m never letting you go. ”
My heart races because I don’t know what to do with that. He’s going to keep me? When Cruz says it, I’m mildly freaked out, but he’s kind of insane, so I expect it from him. But with Jagger, it feels like a promise that I will never escape.
“What do you want with me?” he asks, sounding more vulnerable than I expect.
“You can’t keep me, Jagger. I have three months in the States tops, then the government will force me to go home. I don’t have a green card or any way of staying once that time is up.”
He blinks back at me, his face showing a harshness I haven’t seen tonight. “Don’t go making excuses. There is always a workaround. I know people who can falsify anything you want.”
The way he looks at me makes my stomach sink because I know he’s going to do everything in his power to keep me.
Those weren’t just some messed-up words.
“My family will never let me stay. This is just an escape until I’m dragged home to marry whomever my papa chooses for me.
I’m not so na?ve as to believe I can keep this life.
” The words eat at my soul like acid as I say them, but it’s my reality, and he has to know the truth.
He pulls back from me so he can see my face. “Is this the life you want? With my brothers and me?” he asks more seriously.
Oh hell, what kind of a question is that?
I have known them for less than two weeks.
He has to know I can’t make any declaration about the rest of my life.
I’m not emotionally equipped for that stuff.
I sigh heavily, the weight now pressing down on me.
“Jagger, I want to be free, to live the life I choose, not the one my papa wants for me. I can’t go back to being someone’s arm candy by day and punching bag at night, it will actually kill me this time.
” I offer a half smile, a sad one, hoping he understands I can’t give him more than that.
I won’t, because right now, not even I know what I want.
Anger pulses through him. I feel it in the tension in his whole body.
“Your fucking piece-of-shit papa won’t get the chance to marry you off.
I will personally make sure of it.” Then his lips are back on mine, kissing me so deeply I feel his promise.
He’s really never going to let me go. Unfortunately for him, he’s not going to have a choice when the time comes.
Neither of us will. So, for now, I kiss him back, letting him be my fucked-up escape from reality. Because why not.