Chapter 25 Starfire #2
I took it carefully. “What is this?”
“Starfire.”
I eyed it warily. “Will it hurt me?”
He grabbed a tankard of ale. “Nah. It’s safe.”
Tiny rainbows floated above the glass, shimmering from the bubbles. If I were playing my part, I might as well start now. I lifted it to my lips and sipped.
Warmth curled in my chest. It tasted like honeyed spice, crisp autumn air, and…stardust. That was the only way to describe it. Like drinking something that shimmered.
I gasped.
I felt everything. The pulse of drums. The heat of the bonfires kissed my skin like a lover’s breath. Magic buzzed in my teeth. Colors sharpened to impossible clarity. The golds were richer. The music was no longer distant, but inside me. Each note twisted through my veins.
“What did I just drink?” I clenched a fist over my pounding heart. “Oh my gods.”
“It won’t last long. Couple hours, at most.” Uther patted my shoulder, and I winced.
“What’s it doing to me?”
“Starfire usually heightens the senses. Vision, sound, taste, touch.”
My stomach dropped. “Touch?”
Uther waggled his brows. “Feeling a little sensitive, love?”
Yes.
The way my dress slid against me was unbearably soft. Warmth from the bonfire tickled my cheek, even though it was too far to feel this strongly. I forced my breathing to steady.
This wasn’t part of the plan. I was supposed to be sharp, not losing my grip on reality. I had to get out of here.
“Easy now.” Uther caught my elbow. “You’re swaying.”
The world needed to slow down and stop spinning. Why was everything so bright? I squeezed Uther’s arm.
Uther smirked. “Careful. That’s how rumors start.”
“What, worried someone will tarnish your impeccable reputation?”
“Please. It’s hard work being this depraved. Fair maidens with creamy thighs don’t fall into my arms every day, you know.”
I choked on a laugh. “You’re disgusting.”
“That’s the spirit. Though Kairos will absolutely murder me for this.”
“For what? Getting me drunk?”
“For letting you cling to me while intoxicated and making jokes about your thighs.” His red eyes gleamed. “He’s going to rip my head off and mount it on the gate.”
Would he? “Gods.”
He winked at me. “At least I’ll die having a great time.”
“I can smell you,” I mumbled, gaping at him. “Warm spice…aged whiskey, and a storm rolling over dry earth? How is that possible?”
He grinned. “You feeling better or worse?”
The sharpness in my side dulled, like something had unknotted the ropes inside me. My skin tingled with so much energy that I wanted to join the fae leaping in the firelight.
“Lighter,” I admitted. “Everything feels…lighter.”
“Finally, she smiles.”
Rheya would’ve loved this. The wildness. The music. The sky that didn’t obey natural laws. She would’ve already wolfed down the strange fruits and then danced until dawn.
“I wish she could see this,” I whispered.
Uther cocked his head. “Your sister?”
“She loves a good party.”
He was quiet for a moment. “If she’s out there, she’s fighting to get back to you. Just like you.”
My throat burned. “She’d say I look like a fae pet in this dress.”
“You do,” he said.
A couple whirled past, their laughter as bright as the stars.
Uther nudged my shoulder. “Don’t spend the whole night worrying. Let yourself have this.”
While Rheya was gods-knew-where, probably terrified, thinking I’d abandoned her? While a faerie deal was slowly killing me? While I was about to betray everyone here who’d shown me kindness?
The music thrummed through my bones, and the starfire made everything shimmer, and I wanted to forget. To pretend I could stay.
“How?”
“Start by breathing.”
I did, letting my lungs fill with the perfume of blooming vines, but I wasn’t here to drink or dance. This was my one shot to vanish. I needed to make it to the garden.
Uther led me to the food. We drifted to platters of glistening fruit nestled between roasted meats. I reached for a white, pulsing, lemon-shaped object.
Uther grabbed my wrist. “Not that.”
“Why?”
“It’s a velthra.” He plucked a purple berry from a nearby tray. “It’ll drown you in despair for hours.”
I immediately put it back.
“Wretched self-loathing,” Uther explained. “The kind that makes you want to sit in the corner and rethink all the choices you’ve made. Wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re in the mood for a crisis.”
I gawked at him. “Why would anyone do that to themselves?”
“It gets boring after a thousand years.” He shrugged, fishing through a bowl of candied rose petals. “Agony can be a pleasant break from our monotonous existence.”
The starfire hummed through me, making the lights blur. I couldn’t even imagine a hundred years. And these beings lived so long that suffering became a form of entertainment. My entire mortal life was a footnote to them. A breath. How did you not go mad? Maybe that’s what the velthra was for.
He gestured at the table. “Some of these make you float, turn you blue, taste sound, and those—” he pointed to a platter of yellow-and-red cherries “—allow you to fall stupidly in love.”
I stared at the cherries. “You eat fruit to fall in love? Like it’s a game?”
“Well, yes. Though I wouldn’t call it love. More like infatuation.”
“That’s…humans don’t have that much time. When we love someone, it matters. We don’t need magic to make us feel things because we already feel everything so deeply. Because we know it’s going to end.”
Uther’s grin faded slightly.
“But you live forever, so you need tricks. Ways to make emotions feel new. Because nothing feels urgent anymore. I’m not sure if that’s sad or…bizarre.”
He smiled. “You’re an honest drunk.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“Yes, you are. But you’re also not wrong.”
I shook my head. “Have you ever taken one?”
“By accident. Once was enough to never do it again. I almost got killed.”
“Oh, Uther.”
I snort-laughed, wincing at the pain in my abdomen.
“Speaking of jealous males,” he muttered.
I followed his gaze, and the world narrowed to a face wreathed in orange light. Kairos stood across the courtyard, surrounded by harsh-looking warriors. The firelight played across his sharp jaw, and he was staring at me.
Not Uther. Me.
My skin prickled, and I couldn’t tell if it was the starfire or just him. He looked at me like he was about to cross the courtyard and—
His eyes locked on Uther’s hand at my elbow, and he glowered.
Oh. He was furious.
Kairos shoved past someone, and the crowd parted as he cut toward us.
Uther cleared his throat. “Well. It was nice knowing you.”