Chapter 69 Dio’s Journal - Entry 16
It’s been a few days and gods.
Fuck.
I don’t know how to write this.
That concert didn’t go to plan, that’s for sure.
We really need to get our concerts back on track at this point.
It all started normally enough, and thankfully, the crowd seemed to have forgiven us.
Pepper’s idea seemed to be paying off, and it was honestly great to get to perform again.
I was still feeling surprisingly unfocused but luckily the rehearsal paid off and I didn’t mess up. Not for the first set anyway.
Sometime in the second set, in the middle of one of our most popular songs, I looked out in the crowd and she was just standing there staring at me.
Chaosta I mean. She wasn’t moving, wasn’t singing along.
She was just staring at me with this heat in her eyes.
I forgot what I was singing for a moment, but then got back on track.
I couldn’t stop looking at her, though. Then I lost the words again.
I don’t know why I did it, but I couldn’t even try to fake it anymore. I jumped down off the stage and went to her. I just wanted to talk with her, see if she was alright. I thought maybe I could figure out where she was staying so I could check on her occasionally.
I thought the crowd was going to tear my clothes off before I got there. That would have been awkward. Apparently, more of our fans have a thing for me than I realized. At that moment, all I could think of was getting to her. Thanks to my physical ability, I made it there in one piece.
I broke through the last line of people between us, and she was there in front of me, not moving, that heat still in her eyes.
I didn’t know what to do or what to say.
I was still trying to catch my breath, and then suddenly she was kissing me.
I think we were both surprised. I knew I shouldn’t kiss her back, but even I only have so much control.
Gods, that kiss. Her mouth. Fuck.
I could hear one of the other guys trying to settle everyone down and saying they needed to look for me so I could go back and finish the set. Fuck that.
Suddenly, I realized that perhaps the crowd was still kind of angry, rioting even, because everything was starting to feel pretty violent, so I got us out of there. She kept her hand in mine and was right there with me.
I saw a side exit and went for it, but there must have been a fire alarm on the door because sprinklers started to spray water everywhere. Luckily, I know now that our instruments weren’t ruined. At the time, that was the furthest thing from my mind.
We got out into the alley, and I couldn’t help myself, I kissed her, and she kissed me back. Ok, that doesn’t even begin to describe what she did. Fuck.
Suddenly she was pulling away, and I waited for everything to implode, but she just walked around a stack of trash.
Then I saw Malam, standing there smoking.
Of all times for him to show up, it just had to be then, didn’t it?
They had some words. I was getting ready to fucking punch a demon as he spoke rudely to her. Then he was just gone.
I went to check on her and make sure she was alright.
I was trying to get my equilibrium back.
All those reasons I can’t have her were buried so deep at that moment.
I tried to find them and talk some sense into myself, but then she looked at me again, and everything else just faded out.
I still wanted to keep her away from me, but gods, I couldn’t stop staring at her. Couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss.
I realized belatedly that she was asking me about the other guys, and I don’t even remember what I said.
Then she said we needed to talk, but she couldn’t bring me back to where she’s staying.
I guess I get that. I’m sure I wouldn't be welcome in the demon stronghold.
I offered that she could come back to the mansion with me, and I really thought she might decline, but she agreed.
That walk felt like it took a fucking year. My thoughts were spiraling so badly. I can’t even tell you how I got us back to the mansion on foot. Luck probably.
When we got there, I took her to my room.
I kissed her again before I could stop myself.
After the kiss, I realized she’d never been in this room as she walked around looking at my things.
It was more of a mess than I would have liked.
I’ve been distracted lately, well, with her, and not keeping up on cleaning.
I just stood there staring at her as I tried to talk some sense into myself.
I finally managed to regain enough internal strength to decide to apologize to her, but to tell her the kiss was a mistake.
To tell her that we couldn’t be together.
I just couldn’t actually say the words. She just stood there watching me, and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if she told me I could go fuck myself.
I was beginning to spiral badly. Then she looked me dead in the eye and said she was sorry she’d been rude, sorry she’d made it personal.
I don’t know what my face looked like. I was so surprised by her apology.
I had never expected it. Sure, what she’d said had hurt, but she wasn’t wrong, and I know I pushed her to that point. I didn’t deserve an apology.
She’s far too good for me.
That decided me, and I was just beginning to open my mouth to apologize, but also to tell her I couldn’t have her.
Words I knew were going to hurt both of us.
Then I don’t know what happened, or why, but suddenly she was in my arms, her legs wrapped around my waist, kissing me, and I was fucking kissing her back. I couldn’t help myself.
Thank goodness my instincts were more capable than my thoughts at that point because I caught her. I’ve never felt anything better than having her in my arms like that. Then she was biting my neck, and licking the edge of my jaw, and fuck, I was hard.
I wanted some space so I could think. I went to set her down so my damn cock didn’t make things awkward. She ended up standing on my bed. She was taller than me there, and she was looking down at me, her hand on my jaw, just staring at me.
She stood there for a moment looking like a fucking godsdamned siren. I was wavering, wondering if it would be so bad to let myself love this girl, and then she started to remove her clothing.
Fuck. I can’t do this right now.