Chapter 22 #2
Dean looked at Colton and placed his hands on the top of his feet.
“At first, I was embarrassed, scared even. In the south, in church, all you hear is ‘homosexuality is a sin, and you’re going straight to Hell.’ But I knew my feelings weren’t wrong, and I knew the Bible was just a book written by a bunch of old men, so I embraced myself for who I was, who I am.
I knew my crush didn’t feel that way about me, but that didn’t matter.
He had helped me realize who I was and what lights my fire. ”
“I guess, in a nutshell, I knew I was gay when I found myself physically and emotionally attracted to another boy. And I realized I had never had those same feelings for any girl.”
Dean grinned widely at Colton. “And the rest, as they say, is history.”
Colton laughed and poked Dean with his toe. “You’re such a dork.”
Dean was still smiling while expertly massaging his feet, but Colton’s smile faltered as his mind bounced in multiple directions.
Everything Dean said, what he felt when he learned he was gay, was going on within Colton.
Colton had never felt those feelings for another guy, but he definitely felt them for Dean.
Maybe he wasn’t gay…maybe bisexual? But still, there was only one man who’d ever stirred these feelings within him.
Colton chuckled to himself…maybe he was ‘Dean-sexual’.
“Thank you for telling me.” Colton said as he gently rubbed his toes against Dean’s shirt and belly.
Dean gave Colton a doe-eyed look. “Anytime. For you, I’m an open book. Anything you want to know, just ask.”
Colton sighed, content, and decided to not mire himself in worry any longer.
He wasn’t hurting anyone. Dean wasn’t hurting anyone.
It was okay for him to have these feelings. It was nobody’s fucking business. He just needed to enjoy this moment with Dean.
He relaxed into his chaise and lost himself in the sensation of his foot rub. “That feels wonderful, Dean. Thank you. Sophie never once rubbed my feet after a practice. Come to think of it, she never asked me about my day either.”
Dean smiled. “Well, she missed out! I think a man’s feet are probably the sexiest part of his body, aside from the obvious parts, ya know.” He grinned, before adding, “And you have really sexy feet Colton.”
“Stop it!” Colton hissed, feeling a wave of heat crawl up his neck. “Are you hitting on me?”
“Nah. Just helping a friend and enjoying his sexy feet. No biggie!”
Colton laughed. “God! You’re good at that! You do enjoy pushing my buttons, don’t you?”
Dean beamed and pulled one of his toes. “I really do. It’s the highlight of my day. Ready for another beer?”
“Yes, please.”
“Coming right up.”
“Hey, do you wanna hang out this Friday night?” Colton asked from his chair.
“Can’t,” Dean said, fishing through the fridge for the beer. “I have a date.”
Colton sat up straight, feeling the hairs stand on the back of his neck. “A date? With who?”
“A bartender in town. I was spinning at a local bar last Saturday night and he was bartending. We started talking and he asked me out.” Dean joined Colton back by the pool, passing him his beer.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Why would it be a bad idea?” Dean asked, seeming a little annoyed at the question.
“Well, he might be trying to take advantage of you or use you in some way.”
Dean huffed. “So what? I can’t see when someone is trying to take advantage of me? I can take care of myself, Colton!”
Colton could see Dean was getting angry, so he pumped the brakes and recalibrated.
“Look, all I’m saying is this guy obviously knows who you are. Maybe he has an ulterior motive or is some star fucker.”
“Well, that’s fine with me!” Dean snapped. “I need some man-on-man action. That’s why I said yes to the date. I’m tired of having dates with my hand.”
Colton laughed heartily. “Feeling a little pent up, are we?”
“Very much so! I need some action…soon!” Dean sipped his beer.
“Well, don’t look at me!” Colton joked.
“You couldn’t handle me anyway.”
“Fuck you! I’m a stud!”
“With women, you might be a stud, but it’s a whole different story when it comes to man-on-man sex!” Dean took another sip of his beer and shot his friend a smirk.
“It can’t be that much different…is it?” Colton asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“Want me to show you?” Dean grinned, a little twinkle in his eyes.
As much as he wanted to say yes, Colton backtracked. “No, I’ll take your word for it.”
“Okay, I’m gonna grill some chicken for us then. You stay put and stay off your feet,” Dean commanded.
Colton stewed in his chaise.
A date? What the ACTUAL FUCK!
The thought consumed him all throughout dinner, gnawing at him like a termite.
“Look, I’m tired and I’ve got an early practice tomorrow. I’m gonna head out. Thanks for dinner.”
“Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll see you later. Have a good night, Colton.”
Colton rushed to the elevator without looking back. He knew Dean was sitting there confused, wondering if the foot rub had freaked him out, or if the flirting had pushed it too far. Colton loved their flirting, their banter, but it wasn’t something he could focus on right now.
He stepped off the elevator into the parking garage, plopped in his car, and dropped his head onto the steering wheel.
He hated that he left so abruptly. It was rude, especially after Dean was kind enough to rub his feet, but he couldn’t look at Dean without thinking about that damn date.
Hell, even thinking about it while sitting there, he felt himself becoming angry again.
Why am I upset about this? Who cares if Dean has a date? he thought. Am I jealous? I can’t be jealous!
Colton shook his head as he started the car. I can’t think about this shit right now.
He drove home doing his best to focus on his upcoming game.
On Friday night, Colton went out to his balcony with a beer in hand. He couldn't get the thought of Dean, on his date with the bartender, out of his head.
Were they finished with dinner? Were they at the loft? Was the bartender fucking Dean right now? Was Dean enjoying it? Of course he was!
Colton allowed his mind to create vivid pictures of the bartender blowing him or fucking him hard, with Dean screaming in ecstasy.
He sipped his beer as a tear rolled down his cheek, his stomach in knots.
Colton was conflicted and confused. He couldn’t understand these feelings.
He didn’t want to fuck Dean, did he? He didn’t think so. But he couldn’t stomach the thought of anyone else fucking Dean. What the hell was going on with him?
Colton knew he wouldn’t answer, but he grabbed his phone…
Colton: Hey! Hope you’re having a good night. Can we talk soon?
Less than 5 minutes later…
Dean: Hey! Sure! Come by tomorrow?
Colton’s smile stretched across his face.
Maybe the date didn’t go well? He shook away the thought.
He didn’t want dates to go badly for Dean.
He wanted Dean to be happy. But there was no denying that he felt a whole lot better knowing that Dean wasn’t fucking some random stranger right then.
He pocketed his phone and sank into his sofa with a contented sigh.
The next day, Colton swung by the loft after practice. Dean welcomed him as always and didn’t seem to be acting any differently after Colton’s little walkout the other night as they walked up to the roof.
“Grab a chair and I’ll get us some beers.” Dean pointed to the chairs by the pool and Colton plopped into a chaise lounge, taking his beer from Dean as he joined him.
He settled his nerves with a deep breath. He needed to say what he was going to say, or he never would.
“Look, Dean, I'm sorry for the way I behaved last week when you told me about your date.”
Dean started to reply, but Colton cut him off, lifting his hand. “Please. Let me finish.”
Dean nodded, sipping his beer instead.
“I spent the last few days trying to figure out why the fuck it bothered me so much. I realized…I was jealous. Not because you were going on a date, but because you were spending time with someone other than me.”
Dean blushed with a timid smile. “You were jealous? I’m actually a little relieved. I thought my rubbing your feet freaked you out.”
Colton let out a light chuckle. “No! I loved you rubbing my feet. You’re welcome to do that anytime you want, but I was so fucking jealous about your date!
And I really couldn’t figure out why. I mean, you’re my best friend in the whole world, and I love spending time with you, but you also need to have a romantic life and maybe have other friends besides me.
I realize I can’t be so selfish when it comes to you. I hope that makes sense. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Dean rolled off his chair and pulled Colton into a tight hug. “But it makes perfect sense. We spend so much time together, and then I spring this new guy on you out of the blue. I’m sure you were shocked.”
Colton grabbed another beer from the outdoor kitchen as Dean kicked off his shoes and sat on the edge of the pool with his feet lazily dangling in the water. Colton passed Dean his beer, kicked off his own shoes, and joined him on the side of the pool.
“So, tell me. How did the date go?” he asked as he gently nudged his shoulder.
Dean sighed, shook his head, and took a big swig from his beer. “Well, it turns out you were right. He only asked me out to give me his demo. He wanted me to take it to the producers at my label. He wasn’t interested in me, he was only interested in what I could do for him.”
Inside, Colton squealed in delight, but outwardly, he schooled his reaction. “Oh man, I’m so sorry. Usually, I’m happy when I’m right, but not this time.”
Dean took another swig. “Anyway. I was so disgusted with him, I came straight home after dinner.”
Colton smiled, secretly feeling a rush of relief. “So…no man-on-man action?”
“Nope! Just another night with my fucking hand.” Dean sighed. “It sucks. I was really in the mood to bottom, and your hand just can’t replicate that.”
Colton arched his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Bottom?”
“Oh, right. You don't speak gay,” Dean quipped and leaned forward, resting his hands on the edge of the pool.
“If you’re the guy doing the fucking, you’re a top.”
“In the ass?” Colton interrupted.
“No, in the fucking nostrils! Of course, in the ass,” Dean snipped, and Colton tossed his head back and laughed.
“So, the top is the guy doing the fucking. If you’re the guy getting fucked, you’re a bottom. And, if you like to do both, you’re called versatile, or vers,” Dean explained. “I’m versatile, but I was really in the mood to bottom, so it was a disappointing evening all around.”
“Did you give his demo to your producers?” Colton asked.
“Threw it right in the fucking trash as soon as I left the restaurant!”
They clinked their bottles and laughed.
Dean sighed as he looked out over the bay.
“Wanna order some dinner?” he asked. “We could watch a movie.”
Colton smiled. “I would love that.”