Chapter 42
Colton
Dean always felt bad when he wasn't able to make a game because of his schedule, but he always made sure to catch it on TV.
Thursday's game was no exception, and it was a blowout.
Colton had a terrible game, only seven total rushing yards over ten carries. The defense had totally shut him down. Dean could see the Colton's frustration, watching him slam his helmet down in disgust.
Colton stomped through the door later that night looking miserable and exhausted. Dean was waiting to greet him in the entryway.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said gruffly.
“Okay,” Dean said, and he moved in to give him a hug.
Colton really wasn’t in the mood for this. He knew Dean was trying to make him feel better, but what he really needed was some alone time. As Dean stepped closer, Colton tried to gently push him away, but it was much rougher than he intended.
“Just give me some fucking space!” he grumbled.
Tears formed in Dean’s eyes and his bottom lip began to tremble. He took a step back, gave Colton a little nod, and quickly headed upstairs to the roof.
Colton immediately dropped his head in regret as he stood in the entryway.
Fuck! I’m an asshole.
He dropped his bag in the bedroom, took a deep breath, and headed up to the roof to talk to Dean.
Dean sat in one of the chaise lounge chairs by the pool. He had a beer in his hand as he looked out over the bay.
Colton's heart sank when he spotted the tears.
My fucking fault.
Colton slowly walked up and took a seat, facing Dean on the chaise next to him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. “
“Is this how you are after every bad game?” Dean asked, still looking out over the bay.
Colton huffed. “No. It’s just that…when I was in high school and I had a bad game, my mom would want to talk about it, analyze it, talk about my fucking feelings, when all I wanted to do was forget it and focus on the next game.
When I got home tonight, you had that same look on your face that my mom would have and I was afraid you’d want to talk about it, like my mom did. I just overreacted.”
Dean's watery gaze stayed locked on something out over the bay. “All I wanted to do was give you a hug and fuck your brains out, so you could forget about it.”
Colton smiled. “Well, we can still do that.”
But Dean remained unchanged…staring out over the bay, crying.
“Baby, I'm really sorry. Please forgive me. But what else is wrong?”
Dean turned to finally look at Colton. “Several years ago, I was dating a guy that was bipolar. I didn’t know it at the time, but I found out later. Any little thing would set him off…a total stranger, a kiss on the cheek, a TV commercial…anything.
"One day, I tried to give him a hug, like I did with you tonight. He pushed me away and said almost verbatim what you said. He proceeded to beat the shit out of me; broke two of my ribs and gave me a black eye.”
“He beat the shit out of you?” Colton asked, a little confused.
“Back then, I wasn’t as fit as I am now. I was more skinny than fit. And I tend to date big, beefy guys. So, he was a lot bigger and stronger than me.”
Colton could see this was difficult for Dean to talk about, and it made him feel even worse.
“After that, I left him and began working on improving my strength. I promised myself that would never happen to me again. But tonight, when you shoved me, it brought me back to that moment, and I was afraid it was happening all over again.”
Colton’s throat tightened and he felt a knot in his chest. He couldn’t imagine ever hurting Dean.
But he could vividly imagine the scenario Dean described, and it must have been frightening.
He moved over to Dean’s chaise and sat facing him. “Baby, I would never hurt you, and I would never, ever hit you. I shouldn't have pushed you earlier and I’m sorry I caused those bad memories to resurface.”
Dean looked at Colton with a half-hearted smile. “I know you would never hurt me. But when you pushed me, it was scary. I guess we both triggered each other tonight.”
Colton nodded. “I guess that’s good…in a way. Part of a relationship is learning the good things and the bad things.”
Colton reached out and wiped away Dean’s tears with his thumbs.
"Are we good?”
“We’re good.”
“Okay, now can we get back to what’s important here?” Colton said as he moved off the chaise and onto his knees next to Dean, placing his hands together in a prayer position. “Please fuck my brains out. Pleeeaaase fuck my brains out.”
Dean smiled and rolled his eyes. “You don’t deserve it but…fine! Let’s go.”
Dean stood and started to walk toward the stairs.
Colton grabbed his hand. “No. Fuck me here.”
“Such a dirty boy.” Dean grinned as he lowered Colton onto the chaise.