Chapter Thirteen
Amber
It’s been nearly a month since Eddie and I got back together, but everything still feels unstable.
Pippa hasn’t spoken to me since the night she went off on me.
No texts. No glances. Not even one of her usual passive-aggressive jabs.
The silence is driving me mad, but there’s no point in confronting her, not when I see the hatred burning in her eyes every time I speak.
I’ve tried to get it out of Poppy why she’s been so hateful lately, but she won’t tell me anything.
She just shrugs and says, “She’s going through stuff,” before changing the subject.
No matter what, the twins will always have each other’s back, and I’ll be the odd woman out.
Eddie, on the other hand, has been trying.
Really trying. He treats me like I matter again.
He’s softer and more attentive, like he’s racing to patch the cracks before they deepen.
He reminds me of the boy who once made my world spin with nothing but a smile and a quiet hello.
I want to believe it’s real. I want it badly enough to let the tension with Pippa sink into oblivion, even though it’s never really gone.
It’s like she’s just holding her breath for the moment she can say, “I told you so,” as the world crashes and burns around me, roasting damn marshmallows on the aftermath like she’s at summer camp or something
“I can’t believe it’s already been five years,” I say dreamily, losing my thoughts to memories of our past. His fingers lock with mine, his thumb brushing soft-loving strokes over the back of my hand.
This is nice.
Perfect even.
“Did you enjoy your Christmas?” he asks, adjusting so we fit better in the seat together.
Both of us are squished in my car, our heavy jackets taking up more room than it should in the small space.
We were going to go for a walk, but once the two of us felt the frigid night breeze, we decided to stay in the car and talk instead.
I can’t remember the last time we’ve done something like this.
“It was good. I enjoyed spending time with your parents. Your mom is such a trip sometimes.”
He laughs. “She’s definitely a free spirit, that’s for sure. Seeing your mom was good as well.”
He’s lying. Nobody likes spending time with my mom, not since my dad died.
She’s a negative person, one that brings everyone down around her—a true Negative Nancy, if you will.
She’s been pretty absent from my life since I graduated.
Her two favorite things are booze and recreational drugs, sometimes dabbling in the hard stuff just for shits and giggles.
It’s really sad. Her life has been a constant downward spiral that I want no part of.
I only see her on the holidays, and she’s lucky I even bought her a present this year—one she didn’t even appreciate.
All I got was a “thanks for the gift” as she threw it on her couch, a half-hearted hug after, and an offer of already drank booze as an afterthought because she forgot to buy me a present again.
I immediately turned my nose at it before Eddie and I booked it out of there.
At least he tried to make it seem like he enjoyed seeing my mother.
“You’re a good liar.”
The most adorable half dimple appears in his cheek before he moves me on top of him. “Enough about your mom. Let’s talk about us instead.”
“Us?”
He nods, smiling deviously as he grips me by the hips, holding me steady as he gazes at me with intent. “So, I have been wondering something,” he murmurs as his fingers delve into my hair, eagerly combing through the tangled strands.
“Yes?”
“Do you have any fantasies?”
Blinking, I stare at him strangely, trying to process what he means.
That smooth grin slides across his face with ease, bright white teeth almost blinding me.
“Ones that you may have never shared with me?”
“What kind of fantasies are we talking about here?”
He smirks, his cheeks slightly rouging a cute, warm, apple red. “Well, like any sexual fantasies you may have been keeping from me. I’ll tell you mine… I’ve always wanted to have sex standing up.”
I shoot him a confused look. “You have?” The way he’s talking has me writhing on top of him. normally, he’s more subdued than this.
He winks at me. “Yup. What about you?”
“Why are you asking?”
His shoulders slightly rise. “When we broke up, you said that I didn’t tend to your needs. If that’s the case, then I want to know what those needs are. I’m doing my best, Amber, and actually trying this time. So, tell me… what’s your darkest fantasy?”
Biting down on my lip, it was hard to focus on just one.
There were so many fantasies floating around in my head that it was hard to choose.
My sexual experiences have always been secluded to quick rounds of sex that involved him getting off, and then quickly getting off of me.
I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I actually was able to experience something different.
As my mind races, a small rain cloud forms overhead, and soon after, my car’s assaulted by clean smelling water falling from the heavens.
“Well, I’ve always wanted to have sex in the rain. ”
He laughs. “Are you saying that because it’s currently raining?”
A warm smile lights up my face. “Maybe. I also want to have sex in a pool. Like a public one where anyone can watch us.” Instantly, I’m hiding my face in my embarrassed hands. “I guess I’m just an aquatic exhibitionist.
He gently pulls my hands away, guiding hair away from my eyes that’s lazily draping in front of them.
“Those are some nice wet fantasies you have going on.” His smile devilishly spreads, another seductive wink following closely behind.
He’s just as alluring as me, maybe even more.
“But aren’t you afraid of catching a cold or something?
” His fingers start tracing the hills of my sides, igniting a fire deep within my belly that’s impossible to quench.
He gently eases the zipper of my jacket down, taking it off so the cold night air kisses my skin like tiny little ice picks.
The way he’s undressing me with his eyes, ogling every inch of my body until they’re focused only on my breasts as his tongue wets his lips in anticipation, has me panting with need.
“That’s what makes it fun. The fear of being caught or the possibility of catching a cold and hypothermia. It’s exhilarating if you think about it.”
His jacket comes off next, exposing the thin T-shirt behind the bulky fabric. Every muscle is well defined, and my hands trace them all, squeezing his pecs as I tease him naughtily with my thighs.
He nods, his thumb tracing over the raised nub beneath my shirt. The cold air is already working its magic on my nipples; each breast is needy and ready for exploration.
“What else?” he asks, licking his lips. He shifts ever so slightly beneath me, pants tenting out, his erection growing by the second. Right now, I feel like I’m in total control. That in this moment, he’s mine to lead in whatever direction I want.
My cheeks flush as I think back to my initial fantasy when we first started dating, and I cover my face, attempting to hide it.
He gently pulls my hands away. “Tell me,” he whispers, his mouth caressing the sensitive part of my neck, blowing hot breath against the flesh that’s raised with erotic goose bumps.
“I guess one of my biggest fantasies is having you forcefully grab me, throw me on the hood of your truck or a car, and possess me like you never have before, giving me my first ever orgasm.” Immediately, I know that small revelation is something that shouldn’t have left my lips because he lets go of my hand, a look of dejection in his eyes.
“Sorry I’m such an asshole.” His gaze shifts to the window, sulking in his reflection. I didn’t mean to make him feel bad. The truth just came out willy-nilly.
Desperate to rekindle the flirtation we just had, I grab his hand and do something I have always wanted to do, but haven’t. I take his middle finger, stick it in my mouth, and slowly suck on it, making sure that every movement is seductive, so he’ll picture me sucking somewhere else.
His eyes widen with shock, then slit as he passively falls victim to my advances.
“That feels way better than it should,” he exclaims, eyeing me curiously as I stick another one of his fingers into my mouth.
The faint taste of beer and peanuts resonates within the crevices of his fingerprints, but I don’t care.
Right now, I’m ready for him to seek out my inner fantasies.
“I don’t think that you’re an asshole.” Focusing on his alluring tan eyes, I work my way through each finger on his hand, until he’s moaning and adjusting his pants. “I think you’re amazing.”
“Do you want to do that somewhere else?” His gaze drops down to his erection hidden by a pesky zipper, the desperation in his eyes only fuels me to continue the slow torture I have planned for him.
I’ve never given him head before, but with all that has been happening between us, there’s a small part of me that really wants to. God, we’ve been together five years, and never really done foreplay. How lame in the bedroom can two people be?
Thinking back. The lack of intimacy in the bedroom is more my fault than his. The thought of going down on a guy seemed so gross until five minutes ago. Now I’m questioning everything, wondering why I’ve held myself back, and why I didn’t try to make things spicier between me and Eddie earlier?
“Am I going to get anything out of it?” I ask, moving back so I can take off my shirt. We’re in the driveway of his place; anyone could walk down the hill and catch us. We’re not even in his garage right now, but the thought of being caught is thrilling.
He arches and eyebrow, then stops me from taking off my shirt after pulling his fingers from my mouth. With the reaction speed of a velociraptor, he opens the car door, quickly getting into the driver’s seat.