Chapter Twenty-Nine
Amber
I run until I can’t hear my own footsteps. Between my sobs of bitter betrayal and the thundering of my shattered heart vibrating through my ears, it’s impossible to focus on anything other than my own miserable misery, clutching my shredded dress that was seconds from falling to the ground.
I somehow find myself deep in the heart of Reno, making my way through the crowded streets, ignoring the catcalls and crazy looks I get as I go. Blurred tears block my vision, and I slam into a woman walking out of one of the shops, her eyes widening as she gives me the once over.
“Here,” she exclaims, you need this more than me.” She shoves a bright neon green T-shirt in my hand, one that says, ‘Reno: The Biggest Little City in the World’.
Pushing it back toward her, I shake my head. “I can’t accept that.”
She smiles a smile that reaches her eyes, the look of understanding resonating in deep pools of brown. Her skin is a perfect light tan, and her long black hair hangs down her back in waves. She’s gorgeous, and all of her natural features scream exotic beauty.
“Nonsense. Your dress is practically falling off you.” She pulls me into an alley out of the view of the street. “Quickly now, put it on.”
Reluctance sets in, but I can’t keep running like this. Not when my dress is torn and shredded like what’s left of my relationship.
“Thank you,” I mumble, throwing on the shirt that’s a size too big, but the itchy fabric is a welcomed cover to conceal my pain.
Her gentle fingers wipe a tear away from my cheek, and she softens me with her smile again. “Betrayal is a stupid emotion, isn’t it?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Well, you’re running down the middle of the street in a ripped wedding dress, face smeared with ashy black tear stains, and the look of a woman who just lost everything she loved.
I feel that here,” she exclaims, pointing to her heart.
“Don’t worry, it gets better. Sometimes all you need is a break and space. ”
“A break?”
She nods. “It took me moving back to Mexico to get over my ex-husband cheating on me. But now I’m back in the States, exploring each of them as I quench my thirst for wanderlust. Trust me, your heart may be broken and shattered, but little by little it will put itself back together again.”
Taking a step back, she holds out her hand, then proceeds to rip my dress until I only have the elastic tulle skirt left.
“Now you can keep running without fear of it falling.”
“Um, thank you.”
She admires her work, then picks up another one of her shopping bags. “I hope wherever life leads you from here, you will find the pieces of your heart along the way, so you can put it back together again.”
She disappears around the building. Leaving me no name to remember her by. Just her parting words and a scratchy T-shirt I’ll probably treasure forever.
Slowly, I continue down the alley, ignoring the sounds of chaotic slot machines and drunken idiots urinating on the brick walls behind dumpsters.
Fear isn’t an option. This is all about salvation and finding peace.
I guess that’s why I find myself standing over the Truckee River, staring over the only bridge that crosses the river downtown.
The casino’s bright lights dance and move with the slow-moving current as a family of ducks paddle along below me, bobbing up and down as they fish for insects and minnows cruising beneath the surface.
It’s a different kind of peace than the one I’m searching for.
A couple walks by, and their laughter explodes in my ears like a grenade. It takes everything in me not to tell them to shut the fuck up, but my unhappiness doesn’t mean they should be unhappy as well. So, I bite my tongue, tears stinging my eyes as I try to process everything that just happened.
A girl, probably around seventeen, snuggles up to her gothic boyfriend on a bench nearby.
Both are dressed in all leather and spikes, and are wearing boots so long they cover their knees.
But they look good together. His bright green mohawk compliments her bright pink hair that’s parted, braided, and pigtailed next to her giant ear lobes.
I hate people that put gauges in their ears; but hers aren’t that big, and don’t look too bad on her either.
She giggles as he tickles her side, and I wonder if those bracelets on his wrists are poking her?
I find myself admiring them and wishing I could go back to a time when I was that happy.
Na?ve love is such a blissful thing. They probably haven’t even experienced a broken heart yet, and with the way he looks at her, I bet he wouldn’t even dare cheat.
No. Their love is innocent and pure, something I once had with Eddie.
It makes me think about the first time I ever met him…
“You have to meet this guy I’ve been hanging out with, Amber. He’s awesome!” Pippa shouted, dancing around her bedroom like a lunatic. “His name is Eddie, and he’s amazing!
“Are you two dating?” I asked, flipping to another page in the magazine I was reading while twirling a piece of hair absentmindedly around my finger.
“Nah, we’re just friends. We have a lot of fun together though. He’s like my partner in crime. Plus, he works on cars, and I am hoping he can fix the Stang for me.”
“I told you, Pippa, all you’re going to need is an oil change.”
I looked up from the magazine to find midnight blue-colored eyes staring at me from behind the shade of a Wolf Pack baseball cap.
A gasp caught in my throat, heart thundering and twittering beneath my shirt.
He moved further into the room, his maroon and blank flannel shirt slightly revealing the white undershirt beneath it that was stained with grease. He leaned against her dresser, arms crossed over his well-sculpted chest, his gaze briefly focused on her.
Then he turned, only to find me staring at him like a complete idiot, all slack-jawed and ogling. He uncrossed his arms, just long enough to tip his head to me, since his hat is sitting backwards.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, my breath catching as our eyes lock and hold.
His mouth turned upward slightly, both of our gazes never wavering. At least not until Pippa broke the silence.
“You’re early, Eddie!” She flew across the room so fast, basically attacking him as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
He gave her a half shoulder hug, then moved toward me, stopping only when he was eyes to crotch with me.
And my eyes couldn’t look away. They should have.
But they didn’t. In that moment, I had no shame, staring at his crotch like I was ready to devour it.
Which was silly. I didn’t even know who he was, just that he was Pippa’s friend.
Nervously, I shifted, moving from my belly to sit up higher on the bed, still unable to look anywhere above his belt until I see a hand come into my line of sight.
“I’m Eddie, and you are?” His eyes twinkled the more his smile spread. I held out my hand and placed it in his. Immediately, electric shockwaves skyrocketed through my body, and I had to drop my hand nervously.
He grinned as a row of perfectly white teeth flashed me behind his lips.
“Amber.” I gulped, and it was audible, which only made him smile even more.
“That’s a pretty name, but with how beautiful you are, I’m not surprised.” My cheeks warmed as I shyly hid behind my hair. Eddie was the first guy who had ever really talked to me besides Daniel. And even though his line was cheesy, it still made my heart race.
“Amber is my best friend,” Pippa informed him as she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, redirecting his attention. “Do you think you can work on the Stang for me today? I’d really appreciate it.”
“I’ll have to go get some oil and a filter, but sure.” I followed him with my eyes, tracking every movement he made towards the door.
His butt was perfection, and I couldn’t look away, not until he slowly turned his head and caught me checking him out.
“It was nice to meet you, Amber.” Then he winked, and God did it dismantle me.
Embarrassed, I just smiled, unable to find my voice as he walked out the door. Pippa grinned and threw herself on the bed next to me. “I told you he is amazing.”
“He seems really nice,” I managed to say, though I really wanted to say more.
Eddie was attractive—too attractive, and it was hard to suppress the raging chemistry I felt when he touched my hand.
The more I thought about him, the more I smiled.
And the more I smiled, the more my heart raced.
Eddie was special, I could feel it the minute he walked in the room, but I didn’t know how special he was until our first date…
A cold shiver swept over me as a breeze wafted through my dress.
The way people stared at me was unnerving, but I couldn’t help it.
I literally just left the chapel, my heart shattered and broken.
Two people that I trusted with my life, betrayed me, and no sorry can make up for that.
The trust is broken, and there isn’t a single thing either one of them could say to make me ever forgive them.
The girl on the bench laughs, catching my attention. I laughed like that once. Eddie has always had this uncanny way of making me feel safe and silly. In his arms, I feel protected and loved.
Was it all a facade?
Did he ever really love me?
No, he had to.
I saw it in his eyes when he looked at me, like I became his entire reason for existing the moment we met.
Even on our first date he looked at me that way.
A tear slides down my cheek, dropping haphazardly into the river below. I wipe its remnants away, just as more memories start to filter in.
~~~
3 weeks after meeting him…
“Hey.”
He said it like it was normal, like we’d known each other our whole lives.
“It’s Amber, right? You’re Pippa’s friend?” I recognized his voice even before he took a seat next to me on the grass.