Chapter Twenty-Nine #3
“Britney Spears? Really?” He laughs as red shoots up his neck. He goes to reach for the knob to change it to a radio station, but I stop his hand. “It’s okay, really. I think it’s cute that you like Britney.”
“She’s hot,” he replied, hoping I would drop the conversation there.
“She is, but pre-meltdown and head shaving. She lost all her hotness when she went crazy.”
He nodded, glancing down at my hand that was resting on his before looking back up at me, his mouth twitching nervously.
Oh, he doesn’t want me to hold his hand.
I dropped it quickly, embarrassed I made a move like that first. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“For what?” He slicked back his hair and returned to tapping his knee to the music.
“For touching your hand. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” The only thing uncomfortable was the silence that filtered between us.
His tapping stopped as he looked over at me.
“Oh no, it was fine. I just…” He groaned. “Man, I’m such a guy, because I really wanted to be the first one to make a move. That whole dominance thing, I guess. I didn’t want you to think I was a sissy.”
It was too hard to contain my giggles. “You want to dominate me?” His face was so red it could be mistaken for ketchup.
“No…ugh…I mean…shit.” He gripped the steering wheel, and let out another frustrated sigh. “I’m not so good at this dating thing.”
“Do you date a lot?”
We made eye contact again, and he grinned stupidly.
“I’ve been on a few dates, but nothing special. Not like this.”
“What do you mean?” My gaze shifted to my lap as I fidgeted with the hem of my dress.
His hand moved across the seat, so his fingers could stop my nervous fidgets.
He laced his fingers through mine, letting his hand rest in my lap while steering with the other.
It felt like an electric eel had slipped beneath my skin, sending weightless air, sparks, and pure elation rushing through me.
My palms grew slick with sweat, and I hoped he wasn’t put off by their clamminess until I noticed his were just the same.
“There’s just something about you, Amber.
I felt the first time I shook your hand, and that time I brushed your skin briefly at the library.
Even now I felt the zing. I can’t explain what happens to me but it’s like getting zapped by static electricity.
I’ve never felt that with a girl before—ever.
You make me nervous, Amber. Girls don’t make me nervous, but you do.
I want to impress you and take my time; I just want to make you happy. That’s not normally me.”
“I felt it too—the electricity thing. It was weird. I’ve never felt that before.”
“I hope it means something good.”
“Me too.” We’re quiet for a while, until he pulled the truck onto a secluded hill, one that overlooked most of Reno and Sparks.
“You up for a little picnic?”
“Sure,” I shyly said, pushing my hair away from my eyes.
He quickly grabbed a small picnic basket from the back of his seat and led me to his tailgate, that groaned loudly in protest when he opened it.
“I’m gonna fix that too,” he said quickly.
“Your truck needs a lot of fixing.”
He chuckled. “She’s a work in progress.” He pulled out a small tray of fruit and cheeses, and then a few chicken sandwiches his mom made for us.
“I just got a job at my dad’s shop, so I’m kind of broke right now. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, this is wonderful.”
He helped me up on the tailgate and grinned before he brushed some hair out of my face.
“You had hair in your eyes.” His breath caught in his throat as he gently pulled his hand away. “Is it bad that I want to kiss you right now?”
When I didn’t say anything, he took it as an invitation. He dipped in too fast, and I panicked, visions of my previous kissing disasters hitting me like waves.
I pulled quickly away, not even letting him kiss my cheek.
He frowned, and I instantly regretted moving.
“Sorry, I don’t kiss on the first date.”
He tried to fake a smile, but I could tell he was hurt by my rejection.
“No, I’m sorry. It was stupid for me to even try.” He dropped his hold on me, his whole demeanor changing.
“I’m sorry. You can take me home if you want. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No way!” Eddie’s voice raised. He looked at his watch and then back at me. “I still have three more hours with you. I’m going to use up every minute of them. I will just have to work around the kissing thing.” He winked. “Or change your mind.”
I smiled as he grabbed some more blankets from the truck and then plopped down beside me. “I know this is a cheap date, but I’m hoping I score some bonus points for originality.”
“Definitely! You get at least five bonus points.”
“How do I get ten?”
I looked around, scoping out our surroundings. The view was magnificent; from here, I could see all the city, still a bustle because no one ever slept here.
“A full ten bonus points will be given if we see a shooting star tonight. I’ve never seen one.” Eddie glanced up at the sky that was a bit foggy with smog before looking back at me. There were a few stars in the sky, but it was kind of hard to see them.
“Never in your life?”
“Nope. I think it’s a conspiracy. My mom says I just have crappy luck. Whenever one shoots across the sky I’m doing something else and miss it.”
“So, all I have to do is manipulate the stars, and I will get the full ten bonus points?”
“Yup.”
“Here’s to wishing for another five.” He crossed his fingers. “Work with me stars… I’m dying here.”
I giggled. Both of us smiling like idiots.
“So, I want to know more about you. Tell me five interesting facts that make Eddie, Eddie.” He paused and tapped at his chin before smiling in triumph.
“I’m highly allergic to strawberries. If I eat them, I will blow up like a fish.
My biggest dream is to own my own mechanic shop someday, maybe even a wrecking yard.
I’ve always liked the feeling I get working with my hands, and either of those jobs would suffice my need to tinker.
I could eat pizza all day and all night, it’s my favorite, especially supreme.
I have one sister who is ten years older than me, she already has a husband and kids of her own.
She and I have never been close. She’s kind of a yuppie, and I’m a blue-collar kind of guy, we just don’t mix. How many is that?”
“Four.” I leaned towards him, soaking up everything he was saying, too lost in his eyes, and hyper sensitive to the fact he was holding my hand and those electric pulses were back, working their magic.
Our knees were touching under the blankets, and as he talked, his thumb traced the skin on my hand. rubbing little circles.
“I’ve never been in love.”
“Really? You’re eighteen.”
“Just because I’m eighteen doesn’t mean I’ve experienced love. I’ve dated. There’s been girls I’ve really liked, but I’ve never actually fallen in love before. Oh, and I’m still a virgin.”
Now that one I didn’t believe at all.
“How’s that even possible?”
“Just haven’t found the one yet, I guess. How about you? What’s six fascinating things I should know about you?”
“I only asked for five.”
“Now I’m upping the ante.”
“Hmmm… six things… I hate mustard. If it touches my burgers or my sandwiches, I will ralph big time.”
“Girls actually say ralph?”
My cheeks burned with embarrassment.
“Don’t worry, it’s cute. I like it.” He cupped my chin, lifting it so I could look deeply into his eyes.
“So that’s one, one thing I know about you.
AH. AH. AH.” He did The Count impression again, and just like last time, my heart sped up and thousands of butterflies flooded my stomach.
It’s too friggin’ cute. I pulled out of his reach, smiling shyly as I dodged the urge to kiss him again.
“After graduation, I want to go into nursing, but first I want to travel the world. I’ve always wanted to go to Italy and see the Apennine Colossus statue in person; it’s me and my dad’s favorite.
I should mention that I’m a closet nerd, I’ve played every single Zelda game possible, beat it, and then beat it again just for the funsies.
I’m obsessed with Pink. The artist—not the color, she’s amazing!
My right foot is slightly larger than my left foot, so I don’t wear flip-flops for fear that people will see the difference.
I’ve never been in love either, but I want to, I want it so bad sometimes I just lay awake picturing who the first guy will be that steals my heart. ”
Eddie’s fingers drummed at his sides before he looked up at me with something different in his stare, and I realized that my last statement sent mixed messages.
“Why don’t you kiss on the first date?”
“It’s stupid.” And it really was. I wanted to kiss Eddie.
There was no denying how attracted I was to him.
Just sitting next to him made me nervous.
My body lusted for his in ways I never knew were possible.
I’d never stared at a guy and wanted to know what it would be like to have my body against his, or what his lips would feel like on mine. I wanted to know every inch of him.
“I really want to know.” Eddie gently took my hand and pulled himself closer to me. We were so close I could feel his breath on my skin. It was warm, and in the chilly Nevada air felt way too good.
“Bad experiences, I guess. I let guys kiss me in the past, and it was horrible. The last one used my lips for target practice. I’m surprised I’m not bruised and scarred from it.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Horrible. That’s why I don’t kiss on the first date. I feel like first dates have always been cursed for me when it comes to kissing.”
“Maybe I can change your mind?” He wet his lips so damn seductively.
Why does he have this hold over me?
Why can’t I fight this urge to kiss him?
“You make it really hard, that’s for sure.”
He smiled, his hand tracing the sides of my cheeks. The heat between us tingled, both of us inching closer and closer to one another.
The kiss hung heavy between us.
Both of us wanted it.
Both of us maybe even needed it…
But neither of us moved, we just sat there staring into each other’s eyes, both toying with the what ifs that could come after if I decided to change my mind.
From just over his shoulder, a bolt of light flashed across the sky, breaking my trance.
“Holy crap! A Shooting star!” I jerked away from him, admiring the last bits of the bright shiny ball as it streaked through the sky.
He glanced over his shoulder, catching the tail end of it as it disappeared into the darkness.
“Did you make a wish?” he asked breathlessly.
I stared at his lips, wishing for something I shouldn’t be wishing for.
He must’ve read my mind, because he dipped in, taking control of the moment that my heart silently screamed for.
Deadly and dangerous, his lips were absolute perfection.
There was no force of tongue or teeth going through my skin.
He didn’t chap my lips with his spit, or slobber on me like the others from my past. His kiss was anything but messy. It was simple… sweet… intimate.
It was the kind of kiss every girl dreamed of, and I couldn’t believe it just happened. Between the scenery, seeing a shooting star for the very first time in my life, and his company, there wasn’t anything I could wish for more. I already felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
“No need. All my wishes just came true…”
Reliving why I fell in love with Eddie is painful.
There’s no more happily ever after.
Any hope for a future with him is lost.
It left the minute Pippa told me about their secret romance.
People talk about how when you break up with someone you fall apart.
I get that now. My whole world has unraveled around me, everything from the last five years replaying in my mind as if I’m watching some fucked up movie and I missed an important part.
I try to think back if there ever was a clue, anytime where I may have noticed Pippa and Eddie’s secret relationship, but there’s nothing.
Pippa spent so much time acting as if she hated him, pretending they weren’t close any more because she didn’t want to ruin our relationship. It was all lies! Bullshit and lies!
The worst part is as much as I want to hate Eddie, I just can’t. Half of it wasn’t even his fault. Pippa planned the whole thing from the beginning, and it was because of her that he cheated on me with Jinafer.
Mostly, I’m just hurt; destroyed by two people who I loved so much.
Would it be different if I knew the secret sooner?
Would I have still agreed to marry Eddie?
Knowing that I just walked out on my fiancée, and a friendship I’ve had since middle school, I know there is no way I can go home tonight.
I don’t want to face anyone. Not my mom.
Not Pippa or Poppy, but most of all, I can’t face Eddie.
I know if I go home, I’ll forgive him, and right now I just don’t think my heart can take seeing him again.
I need to get away from here—away from anything and everything that reminds me of Eddie.
My back pocket starts to burn, inside is the key to it all. A key that can help me forget everything about this night.
But the real question is… do I want to use it?