Epilogue One
Amber
My heart soars as the plane dips lower, taking in the breathtaking view below.
Italy sprawls beneath me like an ancient canvas, the history itching to be explored.
Even from up here, it feels like this is where I’m meant to be.
Like the chaos I left behind has finally given me room to breathe.
Making the decision to go even after everything that happened was therapeutic for me, but I can feel dread gnawing at me, knowing I’m going to have to go back, eventually.
I managed to grab all the important stuff when I left, packing up what little stuff I had and placing it into a small storage unit I’ll come back for later. Everything else is shoved into suitcases and my backpack, with only my spirit to guide me.
I couldn’t face Pippa, not after everything she said and did. Hell, I barely could look at Poppy as I shoved my things into boxes, her face haunting me, even though it was her twin who broke my heart.
“I’m going to miss you, Amber.”
“I’ll miss you too, Poppy.”
She stood in the middle of my door, watching me attentively as I placed my last few things into a suitcase. “You know you don’t have to move out.”
I shook my head while slamming a few pieces of clothing into a suitcase before zipping it up tight. “I can’t live with her, Poppy. Not after everything that happened.”
She nodded. “She’s sorry, even if she doesn’t say it.”
“Still doesn’t change the fact that she sabotaged my entire relationship all because she was jealous of me and Eddie.”
Poppy winced. “Yeah, I wish I had known.” It was in her tone. She knew.
“You don’t have to lie to me, Poppy. She’s your sister, of course you’re going to cover for her.”
“Amber, I—”
“Please don’t pretend anymore. The truth is out, Poppy. Just admit it. You knew and chose not to tell me.”
The guilt in her eyes was atrocious. She couldn’t even lie right.
“Where you gonna go?”
My shoulders lifted slightly. “I don’t know. I have this non-refundable ticket to Italy. I think I may go there. You can come too if you want?”
She shook her head. “I wish I could, but I have things to do here.”
“And I don’t,” I mumbled miserably. “All of that is behind me now.”
“What happened with the Australian dude? Are you going to see him again?”
“Don’t even get me started on that womanizing whore—”
“That bad, huh?”
“The bastard couldn’t even make it a night without sticking his dick in someone else. She offered him a lot of money he couldn’t pass up. Did I tell you she was fifty?”
“Fifty!”
“Gross, right? I was appalled. But that’s why I’m back here. I’m going to pack up my stuff, leave it in a storage unit, and figure it all out from there. There’s nothing here for me anymore.”
“What about me?” Poppy questioned, sounding offended.
“You made your choice, Poppy. And it was the right one. Blood before friendship.”
“Amber—”
“It’s okay, Poppy. It’s what you had to do…”
After zipping up my last bag, I give her a half-hearted smile. “Well, that’s the last of it. Thanks for always being there for me, as much as you could, Poppy.”
It was like she was analyzing me with her eyes, but what she was looking for I had no idea. “This sounds like a goodbye.”
“It is.”
“I mean forever. This sounds like a forever goodbye.” Tears appeared in her eyes, but they stayed stagnant over her iris.
“I can’t take the chance of seeing her again, Poppy. At least not right now. I hope you understand that.”
She nodded, sniffling as she wiped at her face. “Will you at least tell me where you end up?”
“I’m not sure if I’m going to let anyone know where that is, to be honest. I just need… space,” I told her hesitantly. “From everyone.”
Poppy flinched. “Even me?”
“Sorry.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. I understand. I know I should’ve told you about Pippa’s strange obsession with Eddie, but I just didn’t know how. Not without betraying her too.”
My backpack shifted on my back as I straightened. “She’s your twin, Poppy. She comes first.” Our conversation was cut off by my phone ringing.
Eddie.
“You could talk to him, you know?” she suggested.
“And say what? I can’t trust him right now. Frankly, I can’t trust anyone.”
She picked up a few of my bags and helped me carry them to the car. “I don’t know. But I do know he loves you, Amber. More than he’s probably loved anyone before.”
“That’s what makes it so bad. He loved me and still ended up fucking one of my best friends. People who truly love you don’t do that.”
Poppy’s phone rang next. She frowned. “Now he’s calling me.”
“You can pick it up if you want. Just don’t tell him where I am.”
She let the phone call die. “I’m good. I have nothing to say to him either.”
“Where is Pippa, anyway?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard from her today. Last time I talked to her, she was going to try to patch things up with Eddie.”
For some reason this made my heart clench even harder. “Wonderful. I hope they find happiness. Those two belong together.”
“You don’t mean that, Amber.”
She was right, I didn’t, but it still didn’t change how I felt about everything.
“It doesn’t matter what I feel. It’s over, and I’m ready to move on. Anyway, I should get going.”
“Will you at least tell me where you end up, please. I wanna know where you end up after Italy?”
She has no idea I may never leave once I get there.
“I’ll do my best. Goodbye, Poppy.”
“Bye, Amber.”
We didn’t even hug. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know how cold that makes me, but hugging her would be like hugging Pippa, and I was in too much pain to deal with anymore.
Italy greets me like an exhale.
The moment I step out of the airport and into the sun-soaked streets of the Amalfi Coast, I feel something inside me loosen. The air is thick with the scent of citrus and sea salt. The cobblestones beneath my boots are uneven and I’m thankful I decided to wear sneakers instead of slides.
I have two weeks here…
Two weeks to decompress.
Two weeks to live without the ties that keep me tethered to Reno.
I don’t have the slightest clue what it’s like to exist without the pressure of my actual life breaking me. I never thought avoiding everyone would be so exhausting. But here I am, feeling out of breath and worn out.
Those first two weeks blow by way too quickly, and all the money I had saved disappeared before I had a chance to really enjoy it.
Now I’m lost in Italy, debating on whether to head to the airport and jump on that plane home, or stay here and continue detaching from the life that I once led.
I wander for hours. Past colorful buildings stacked like crooked teeth, laundry fluttering from windows, and old men smoking and playing cards like the world doesn’t dare interrupt them.
Eventually, I find myself sitting on a shaded bench outside a bakery, the smells wafting into the street making my stomach rumble with bitter excitement.
I wish I could eat, but whatever money I have left I need to save.
Everything I had planned has already happened, and it feels like I saw barely anything.
Maybe because I was just too depressed to really go out and experience Italy’s heart like I always dreamed.
“Are you lost,” a woman asks, interrupting my thoughts with her rich Italian accent.
She’s old, maybe in her seventies, could even be older, but it’s hard to tell because she’s wearing a red linen scarf that perfectly hides her silvered hair, and her skin that’s wrinkled and aged in all the right places.
She has trusting eyes. The kind that explodes with kindness and acceptance. Like everyone is her grandchild even though they don’t share her blood.
I nod. “A little.”
“You are all bones,” she says, extending a flour-dusted hand. “And your eyes are tired. You must be starving!”
I blink. “Is it that obvious?”
She shrugs. “I have eyes. You look like you’ve been running for days.”
“Oh, I’m not running—”
Her smile spreads. “And yet your eyes tell your truths for you. People don’t just come to Italy with that many suitcases to visit. You came here to hide.”
Defeat etches into my shoulders and I collapse forward, everything in my body sagging in tandem.
“I came here to hide once too. Italy has its way of accepting you like you’re lost kin. My name is Antoniette Vianetti, but people around here call me Nonna Etti, you can call me that too if you like?”
“I’d like that. You’re the first friendly face I’ve seen that hasn’t tried to pick me up or seduce me. I’m Amber, by the way.”
She laughs, and it fills the street with a strange happiness that’s highly infectious. “That’s Italian men for you. Always looking for their next wife. I should know, I’ve been married five times.”
“Five?”
Her smile widens to show a gap of missing teeth, but it only makes her more charming. “That’s a story for another day, Amber. Very pretty name, might I add. Have you ever seen an amber stone glitter in the highest Tuscan sun?”
I shake my head.
“You will. It’s just one of the many gifts Italy has to offer you. You’re meant to be here, Amber, I feel that in my bones.”
“I feel it too. I’m just not sure where I should go. I’m out of money and—”
She cuts me off. “You look hungry? Follow me and I’ll fatten you right up. Don’t worry about having a place to stay for the night? My home is a bit of a walk, but I have a guest room with no one in it, if you’re looking for a place to hide. I’m told it’s the best place in Tuscany to rest your soul.
“What’s the catch?”
Her smile deepens. “There is no catch. When I look at you, I see me years ago. It would make me very happy to help you. All I ask is for companionship, maybe even help at the bakery, if you’re willing? I’ll pay you, of course, but not as much as I would someone I’m not hosting.”
It's something. Something I didn’t have when I checked out of the hotel and my wallet started producing bats and cobwebs.
My throat catches as I try to stop from sobbing.
“Save those tears for another day. Do we have a deal?”