Chapter 35 Grace
Grace
After Johnson helps clean us both up, we lie down, get dressed in some lounge wear, and rest.
Turning my head towards Johnson, he looks calm and satisfied, and is radiating masculine power. Which is really attractive, considering the guy’s made me come twice.
To buy some time to process what just happened, I decide to keep the mood light.
“If I thought I would lose my virginity in a pillow fort, I would’ve guessed I’d be sixteen, not twenty-two.”
He chuckles. “After this, I’m going to argue that pillow forts are perfect at any age.”
I reach for my crackers, suddenly hungry as the heightened emotion and adrenaline from what just happened wears off.
As I open the box, I see his eyes watching my movements.
“You can have my snacks now, Johnson,” I tease him.
He tilts his head back up to face mine, grinning. “I’m grateful for the privilege.”
I hand him the box, and he rifles through to get a handful. Once he eats a few, he hands the box to me.
His expression turns more earnest once he’s done eating. “You’re so beautiful in all the ways, Goldie. Inside and out. What this has meant to me today is hard to put into words. Thanks for giving me your trust.”
This time, I don’t deflect from his words with a joke. I give my answer with my heart fully open.
“Trust you earned. I feel…I feel closer to you than I thought ever possible when we first met.”
He folds me into his arms, and we’re quiet for a few moments until I notice a shift in the sounds around us.
“Is that the generator?”
“Yes, you were a little preoccupied, but it flipped on in the last hour. The power and wifi are out, I think.”
The wind is still howling outside the building, wild enough to be heard through the closet door. I pick up my phone and have messages in the Better Together chat that actually came through.
“I’m okay, just riding it out,” I text my brothers. It takes longer than usual, but the message finally sends.
“Oh yeah, my phone service is still iffy, but I just got a message to go through, I think.”
He checks his own phone and sends a couple of texts, watching to make sure they get out. Turning to me afterwards, he gives a soft smile.
“Why don’t we try to get some rest? Your body needs to recover.”
I am a little sore now. His anticipation of my needs is on point. My body definitely could use a break.
I lie back down, and he drapes us in the thin cotton blanket that had been on my side. Snuggling against his chest, I shut my eyes and try to relax into sleep despite the foreign surroundings.
His steady breathing sets a cadence that has me zoning out, and soon I drift off.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I flip my eyes open, on alert with all the sounds.
Johnson’s hand comes down on my arm. “Don’t worry. The power came back on, and some of the electronics are flipping out.”
“Time to leave the pillow fort?”
“Yeah, sadly. I thought we were going to have a two-day lie-in.”
Slowly, I make myself wake up. After a good stretch of my arms, I walk out of the haven of the closet and head to the bathroom to get cleaned up. The achiness is fainter now.
When I come back into the bedroom, Johnson is sitting on my bed. My real bed.
“Let me get you a spare toothbrush,” I offer, and he looks grateful. After I set him up, I leave him to it and get us two bottled waters from the fridge.
“Well, this could’ve been worse,” Johnson says as he walks out to the living room.
“I know. Power’s already back, and they’re saying the wifi will be restored today.”
“That too, but I meant our night in the pillow fort and my new toothbrush at my girlfriend’s condo.” He grins.
“Oh yes, that.” I smile. “We can make it yours—officially.”
More kisses come after my statement, predictably. Soft ones all over my face.
“Listen,” Johnson says as he pauses the pecks. “Since you have no classes today, can we relocate to my place? I want to make sure everything is okay post-storm.”
I agree, and an hour later, I have a bag packed and we’re in his car, driving to Johnson’s place.
My secret boyfriend’s place.
After walking around Johnson’s grounds, we spot some downed roof shingles and branches, but nothing too terrible. Once the yard clean-up is complete, we go inside to veg out, eating our fill, and once wifi is restored, watch TV.
“Hey, it’s Tuesday, so I guess we’re doing what we’d normally do anyway,” he observes.
He joins me for a drive to Landon’s two hours later and we check to make sure all is fine there. Duty done.
Back at his house, we lounge into the evening, stealing kisses, but neither of us pushes for more. Johnson seems content with our make out sessions, and I’m still digesting everything emotionally, not to mention physically.
Will he want to do it again tonight? But once things heat up between us at bedtime, he suggests we use our mouths only, wanting my body to have time to recover.
I’m so grateful he was the one.
The next day, I feel ready to try again. And when his offer to help stretch out my legs after my run leads to some kissing that shifts to his bedroom, I tell him as much. This time, when he pushes inside me, it feels incredible.
After we’re done, and recovering our breath, I roll over to him. “I don’t think we need the list anymore. Let’s just do that. A lot.”
His grin is all the answer I need.
Thursday morning is a kickstart back to reality, because classes resume today and I’m running with Jasmine beforehand.
Over the last few weeks, we’ve met up whenever she hasn’t had a heavy practice planned and done nine or ten miles.
It’s maintenance for her on a low-key day, and a test for me.
Although I seem to be passing the test each time we go out.
It adds up to more miles weekly than I ran in college, and my body seems to be handling it well.
I always let her determine our route and have the final call on our pace, so it contributes to her building belief in herself. I haven’t asked about the struggles that Shelley identified, but some things slip out of her that clue me in.
“Being able to work with you has selfishly made me believe I can push to qualify for the NCAA championships,” she confesses one day. “I really didn’t have that confidence before the season started.”
Another time, after I compliment how smooth she looked that day during our run, she lets out a breathy observation that I clock quickly. “I wish everyone in my life was as supportive as you.”
I don’t press. This time.
Our friendship is growing organically as well, so I know she may trust me soon enough to share what’s really going on. We talk constantly during the slower-paced moments—about our families, school, etc. Half the time we keep chatting for twenty, thirty minutes after we’re done at the end.
I may be older, but it’s only by a couple of years, since I skipped that grade—and most importantly, we have so much in common.
Whatever “job” Shelley gave me, our relationship has become more with each passing run.
Which makes it uplifting to get feedback from Coach about how Jasmine is doing when she’s called me a couple of times to check in over the previous few weeks. The latest report warmed my heart. For Jasmine and for myself.
“She’s stepping up in her confidence, which has ripple effects on everything,” Shelley shared.
“She’s so focused during training, and I can see huge dividends in her competitive performance even at the cross country meets she’s doing to help the team.
She’s also more vocal with the middle distance girls, sharing tips and helping lead that group.
Whatever you’re doing, it’s making a big difference. ”
“I’m not sure I’m doing that much,” I answer. “Maybe I’m just that extra voice to help reinforce all that you tell her?”
“It’s more than that, Grace. You’re a role model for these women with all that you accomplished during college.
And the fact that you want to run with her—she likely won’t say it to either of us, mind you—probably shocked her out of some poor mental habits.
And whipped up her self-belief in the best possible way. ”
Shelley’s words hang over me still as I think of them.
Being a role model is the last thing I anticipated happening here at Tolliver. And the phrase itself feels false when I think about how I let Larry Small’s words impact me so much my senior year after the indoor finals.
At the same time, if Jasmine is pushing down a new path because of my help, I’m glad to be a positive force in her life.
I’m working on my own new path, after all.
A great run with Jasmine is followed by a productive class. As I head to the cafeteria to grab lunch, I’m buzzing inside with good vibes.
Which is exactly when my mom seems to pounce. This time in the group chat she made with my brothers.
MOM: What are my children’s plans for Thanksgiving next month? Am I going to have the privilege of seeing everyone, or will I have to eat alone?
Nevermind that Landon and Rawley are always juggling football games on Thanksgiving weekend, and so the real question should be what is the game schedule and can she come.
Knowing that Landon’s off enjoying his tropical vacation, and not wanting my younger brothers to have to deal, I respond first.
GRACE: We’ll be in Orlando, because Landon plays Sunday and they’re practicing all week.
GRACE: Rawley plays that Saturday, so he’ll be in Florida Wednesday through Friday morning, but Connor will be here the whole long weekend.
CONNOR: Our soccer games will be done by then, and I’m flying there on Wednesday afternoon after my last class. Do you want to come, Mom?
CONNOR: FYI, I might leave when Rawley does so I can go to his game.
Rawley heart reacts to everyone’s messages, but doesn’t say anything.
It takes an hour for Mom to respond, by which time I’ve moved on to the library.
MOM: We’ll see. My boyfriend may have his daughter over, and I can just eat with them then.
I switch over to the Better Together group chat immediately.
GRACE: