Chapter Six—CJ
Dad, Ryder, and Ransom, rotated visits to Mom’s room, although Ransom’s drawn look and tired eyes concerned CJ.
Axel didn’t want Diesel out of his sight, so they only visited together.
Uncle Mort also checked on Mom and CJ periodically.
Dad never lingered. He’d go to Mom’s bedside, lean down, stroke her hair, and give her a quick kiss.
CJ still found his behavior unsettling. Dad almost seemed angry.
Although CJ understood, he didn’t want Dad’s negative energy to affect Mom’s recovery.
When he asked about Rebel, Dad said they would run more tests and she couldn’t have visitors yet, which gave CJ the perfect excuse to shoo his father.
He needed to keep watch over Rebel and Jo, while CJ stayed with Mom, and if there were any changes with her, CJ would call him.
Dad agreed without question.
CJ: Dr. Pritchard wrote orders to scale back Mom’s sedation.
Not long after the doctor left, CJ texted his father, glancing at Mom, hoping she awakened. But nothing. Rationally, he knew she still had drugs in her system.
An incoming text alert interrupted his worry.
Dad:
As the afternoon graduated to evening on the second day, CJ took a shower, appreciating Uncle Mort for bringing him clean clothes.
He didn’t linger, mainly because the ‘hot’ water barely felt warm. Of all the amenities Dad, their family, and the club members and their families enjoyed at Hortensia General, hot water wasn’t amongst them.
Sighing, CJ finished dressing. He hadn’t shaved in almost a week and stubble was beginning to show itself but he couldn’t bother with it.
He balled his dirty clothes and walked back into his mother’s room, hungry but not looking forward to hospital food.
Not wanting to dirty his one remaining clean outfit, he put his dirty laundry next to his bag instead of inside it, grabbed his phone, and turned.
“Hey, potato,” Mom croaked.
CJ froze. Swallowed. Blinked. He didn’t know if he wanted to cry in relief or laugh with joy. He kept it simple. “Hey, Mom.”
“Rebel?”
“In another room,” he said, not moving from the spot he stood. He’d kept vigil close to her bed for almost two days. Now, he couldn’t seem to make himself go to her. “Dad’s with her.”
“She’s okay?”
As far as CJ knew. He nodded. “After I call the nurse, I’ll let Dad know you’re awake.”
“The nurse has already been in here,” she responded.
“I-I’ll get Dad.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Sit for a bit, son. Talk to me.”
CJ took a step toward her, then halted, afraid he was dreaming. Afraid he’d awaken and discover neither Mom nor Rebel survived. “Dad probably wants to see you.”
“I’m sure he does,” Mom agreed. “I want to see him, but I want you to talk to me. Tell me why you’re standing in that spot like someone glued you.”
Unable to find the right response, CJ shrugged.
“How was the party?”
Awful and a disappointment. “A party,” CJ mumbled. “Nothing like I imagined.”
“Ummm.”
He didn’t know what that meant. “I wish you would’ve been there.”
“I’m glad I wasn’t. Nyx has had her moment in the spotlight. Now, it’s time for her to come back down to earth.”
Remembering Nyx’s reaction to Ransom’s arrival, CJ doubted Nyx would so easily fall back into the shadows, but Mom’s pale skin and red-rimmed eyes kept him silent. She still needed rest and recovery.
“Enjoying adults only club parties requires an adjustment,” Mom said. “Anything goes.”
“Including sex in front of a bunch of people. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that.”
Mom remained silent, and CJ shifted uncomfortably. He searched for another topic.
“About Diesel and Rebel,” he blurted, wishing he could’ve found a smoother transition, but his thoughts were all over the place, floundering for a reprieve from all the fear and uncertainty.
“I beg your pardon?”
CJ shoved his hands into his pockets. “That came out wrong. I meant about them in the future.”
“There will be no them in the future. I’ll see Diesel castrated, drawn, and quartered first.”
“Goddamn, Mom,” CJ said, unable to stop his laughter. “You’re going all Medieval on a motherfucker.”
“Degenerates require Medieval torture.”
That killed his laughter. “I know Diesel and Rebel together is gross. Kissing cousin vibes. But they aren’t truly related and-and…
” He swallowed to keep the images, and the pain, at bay.
He grieved for the closeness of his family from just a year ago.
He couldn’t believe a mere thirteen months separated his father’s 49th birthday where CJ danced with Mom and his aunts and life was still good.
“We almost lost her.” He lowered his gaze, freeing his hands from his pockets, then stuffing them back in again.
“When Rebel turns twenty-one and she still wants Diesel, I think you and I should find a way to convince Dad they belong together.”
Mom studied CJ. “How long have you been thinking about this?”
“Not once since you’ve been here.” He shifted again, swallowed, still on the verge of tears.
Or kicking and screaming, and losing his fucking mind.
“I talked to Diesel a few days ago,” he admitted, then stressed, “before.” Recently, he’d begun to look at life before and after his overdose.
Prior to that, it was before and after Molly’s disappearance, revised from before and after Mom’s collapse.
Now, it would be modified to before and after Rule’s breakdown.
“I told him I would support them in six years. But I don’t know what to say or how to feel.
I don’t know if I should talk to you about the party or keep it to myself.
I don’t know if I should be angry with Rule or stand by him because he’s ill and I failed him. ”
“Oh, my darling boy, you didn’t fail him. It wasn’t your responsibility to see to his mental health. That was my job.”
“You were in the hospital when he got really bad off, then you needed to recover and Jo got so sick.”
“It still wasn’t your job, CJ. Raising your brothers and sister is my responsibility.”
“And Dad’s. But we’re a family. As the eldest son, I’m supposed to help out.”
Mom smiled at him. “I’m not taking that away from you, but the overall duty falls to me. Christopher has his club to run and I distracted him.”
“C’mon, Mom. Dad distracts you, too. When he sticks close to home, he likes to be in your company. You don’t have eyes and ears in the back of your head.”
“CJ—”
“No, Mom. It’s fine, and while we’re on the subject of you and Dad, if you want another baby, that’s fine, too. Whatever makes you happy.” He looked at the floor again. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if Rule had…had…”
The mechanical sound of the bed moving drew CJ’s attention and he lifted his gaze. Mom held out her arms, and CJ didn’t hesitate to go to her, sit on the edge of the bed, and hug her carefully, heedful of her many injuries.
“I’m fine, CJ,” she whispered, returning his hug with a fierce one of her own, even with her wrapped hand and wrist, and various bandages. “I survived. Rebel survived. The nurse said she had a few cuts and scrapes but was otherwise unscathed.
I did ask why I needed sedation,” she said, releasing him and settling back against the bed. “Some sedatives raise blood pressure and mine was already high.”
“I didn’t think of that,” he admitted. “I guess Dad didn’t either.”
“I’m sure the doctor had his reasons,” Mom said. “As for Diesel and Rebel, I won’t make any promises. I hate the idea of them together because he watched her grow up and that’s disgusting.”
“Mom—”
“But you’re right, son. I want Rebel happy. Diesel has to do a lot of changing to get me fully onboard with your idea.”
CJ agreed, but he didn’t want Mom to use that as an excuse when the time came and Rebel would end up crushed because Dad killed Diesel. “What does he need to do?”
“Diesel’s a drug addict, an alcoholic, a sex addict, and a chauvinist, so you tell me. What does your brother need to do to be worthy of your sister?”
Oh, goddamn. Diesel needed a fucking personality transplant. “Did you have to put it that way, Mom? You could’ve said adopted.”
Mom glared at him.
“Please! You’ll be her only chance. If he gives up drugs, stops drinking as much, and can be faithful, will you help me with Dad on their behalf?”
“What do you know that you aren’t telling me?”
A lot. “Nothing.” He raised his right hand.
“I swear,” he said and lowered his hand again.
“And I don’t really want them together. I want her to find someone and him to be happy with whoever.
I just want a contingency plan in place.
It doesn’t mean I won’t try to steer them in a different direction, away from each other. ”
“You do that, son,” Mom ordered. “And we’ll revisit this conversation when Rebel is twenty-one if the need arises.”
CJ kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Mom.”
“But I’m warning you, if he crosses a line with her before then, if I don’t poison him, I’ll hire a firing squad for him. Am I clear?”
“Perfectly,” CJ said, laughing at Mom’s hyperbole.
Her stomach growled. “Can you have one of the guys get us French fries, hamburgers, and chocolate milkshakes?”
“For everyone?” CJ asked, his mouth watering.
Mom winked at him. “I don’t see everyone. Just you and I. What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.”
Grinning, CJ got to his feet and rushed to do Mom’s bidding.