Chapter Twenty-Five—Diesel
Later that evening, Diesel rang the doorbell of a modest house in Camas. Not long after Aunt Meggie ruined his plans, he received a text from Jana, inviting him over for dinner with her parents yet again.
He hadn’t talked to her since the night she convinced him to meet with the mysterious client.
If not for Aunt Meggie’s displeasure, Diesel probably wouldn’t have accepted Jana’s invitation.
He hadn’t even dropped off the money the morning after their date, too busy with the aftermath of that motherfucker’s visit to Tee’s.
Sighing, he straightened his tie and shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking on his feet.
Nerves beset him, like an inexperienced teenager on his first date.
Jana had mentioned her parents on several occasions.
The good things Diesel heard about them drove him to accept Jana’s invitation.
The bad only worsened his anxiety, and as the seconds ticked by, he felt as if he’d burst.
Irritation surged into him and he pressed the doorbell again. Finally, the curtain next to the door fluttered and a lock disengaged.
An older woman with brown hair and wide owl eyes opened the door. Squinting, she took in every inch of him. She folded her arms, smartly dressed but rudely mannered.
Wondering if he measured up, he cleared his throat. “I’m Diesel Caldwell,” he introduced. “I…Jana said you and her father invited me to dinner.”
“I invited you both,” she corrected, drawing herself up.
Uncertain, Diesel pulled out his phone to make sure he’d read Jana’s message correctly. “I thought she was here already.”
“She is now. In the kitchen, buttering up her daddy,” she scoffed. “She’s high. One day, I’ll get a call telling me they’ve found her body.”
It was one of Diesel’s greatest fears as well, but he remained silent, uninterested in unnecessary conversation with her. He didn’t want to snap at her, despite her less-than-friendly attitude.
“I’m Amy. What did you say your name was again?”
“Diesel,” he said. “Diesel Caldwell.”
“I knew of a Caldwell. Down the way in Hortensia. Went by the road name of Outlaw.”
“That’s my father,” Diesel said, too nervous to go into particulars. Amy reminded him of a school librarian who got everyone into line with just a severe look. Hopefully, Uncle Christopher and Aunt Meggie would invite Jana’s parents over and they could explain everything together.
Amy peeped around him. “Where’s your bike?”
“At home. I wasn’t sure how Jana was feeling tonight. If she wants a drink with me later, my car is safer for her.”
A smile ghosted across her face and she nodded, then stepped aside, allowing Diesel entry. The modest house needed repairs and new furniture. Contrasting it to his grimy childhood home, however, it was a palace.
The smells of barbeque and cinnamon scented the air. His knotted stomach and anxiousness to see Jana’s condition stole his hunger.
“Diesel!” Jana screeched and flew into his arms so fast, he reeled back. “I thought you’d forgotten me.”
Aware of an older man walking into the room, Diesel smiled into Jana’s hair and hugged her tightly. “I’ll never do that, sweetheart.”
She staggered away and smiled at him, her eyes red-rimmed and her pupils dilated. She’d either sucked dick or fucked for drugs.
Anger flashed through him and he gritted his teeth, then brushed past Jana and held out his hand to her father. “I’m Diesel Caldwell.”
“Sam Reynolds,” he said, shaking Diesel’s hand.
“That’s Outlaw’s son, Sam,” Amy revealed. “Johnnie’s nephew.”
He hadn’t mentioned that motherfucker. Refusing to refute a family claim to that asshole to strangers, Diesel plastered a smile on his face.
“Can we talk, Diesel?” Jana asked from behind him.
She knew he was pissed. She hadn’t taken the fucking money because of her addiction, yet she’d used anyway.
“Not at the moment,” Diesel said coolly, struggling to reel in his temper. Jana needed compassion, but that was often easier said than done.
“I wanted to talk to Amy and Sam about you and I.”
Jana staggered to him and tried to take his hand into hers, but he pulled away. “I missed you,” she whispered. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”
The engagement ring in his pocket suddenly weighed a ton. “I wouldn’t have asked you to move closer to me if I intended to abandon you,” he snapped. “I had to talk to my parents about us.”
Tears filled Jana’s eyes. Diesel wished they were alone, but her parents were staring between them. On the fringes of his mind, he noted she looked nothing like her mother or father. They were short, plump, dark-haired and brown-eyed.
Jana tried to grab his hand again, but he stepped out of her reach.
“I’m sorry,” she said around a sob.
“You’re high,” he said flatly. Her father snapped his brows together and her mother gave him an unreadable look. “And I know you didn’t have fucking money, so there’s only two fucking ways you got your drugs.”
“That’s enough!” Sam yelled, anger reddening his cheeks. “You can’t come in and disrespect my daughter in such a manner.”
Diesel opened his mouth, ready to blast a barrage of words, before he reminded himself that Jana needed patience and understanding and so did her parents.
Yet, Jana stood before him in tears, a sight he could barely stomach.
He drew her into his arms and held her tightly, until her sobs subsided, then he took her face between his hands and brushed his lips over hers.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. But you have to trust me. Have I ever promised you something that I didn’t do?”
“No,” she said in a watery voice.
Because of her addiction, Diesel exempted Jana from the standards he usually held other women too—either low or high. Placing an arm around her waist and tucking her into his side, he faced Sam and Amy.
His anxiety returned, and he remembered he’d wanted to put his best foot forward so the Reynolds wouldn’t find him lacking and not good enough for their daughter.
“I met Jana at a party down the street,” he started. “Several years ago,” he added hastily. “I—”
He swallowed, thinking of Aunt Meggie and her expectations of him.
Thinking of Uncle Christopher and his warning. Of Axel and his awe and admiration. Of CJ. Ransom. Ryder. Rule. His family, who only wanted loyalty and honesty.
Tabitha and her tears rose in his head. For the first time, regret filled him. Her lies had enraged him, so he’d made her life miserable, instead of just walking away. He hadn’t stayed to discover what or who she knew. He’d stayed because he was a motherfucker.
“I want to marry Jana,” he blurted, fucking up despite how much time he’d practiced his pretty speech and flowery words.
“I-I’m obtaining a divorce from my first wife,” he said anxiously.
If he had a daughter, he wouldn’t want a still married motherfucker darkening his doorstep.
If he did, he’d chop him to pieces. Clearing his throat, he pushed his dark thoughts aside.
Jana deserved safety and happiness. “I care so much about Jana and I want to give her the world. I can give her the world.” He dropped his gaze, surprised at the depth of his sincerity. “I will give her the world.”
“You want to marry Jana?” Amy asked, her tone as incredulous as her face.
“Truly?” Jana whispered before Diesel responded to her mother.
He dug into his trouser pocket for the engagement ring made of 14k gold, a band of diamonds and a fancy dark gray diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds. Even in the dimness of the living room, it sparkled.
“You’ll never want for anything, Jana,” he swore. “I will lay the world at your feet, but you have to get into rehab, sweetheart. It’s the only way we can work. I want more for you than you searching for your next hit or exchanging sex for drugs. I want more for us.”
“Okay,” she mumbled.
Addicts were notoriously untrustworthy. He might set them up for failure and himself for betrayal and heartache, but Jana was who he could have.
Tears glistened in Amy’s eyes and she placed a hand over her chest. Smiling, Sam wrapped an arm around her waist and grinned at Diesel.
“Sir, I’d like to marry your daughter.”
Uncle Christopher once told Diesel if Aunt Meggie’s father had been alive, he would’ve gone to Big Joe Foy like a man and asked for his daughter’s hand.
Once he recovered from Big Joe’s beat down, he would’ve been free to marry Aunt Meggie.
It was about respect and consideration. Diesel might’ve lost a lot over the years, including his soul, but he valued the wisdom Uncle Christopher passed to him.
Doing right by Jana meant respecting her parents.
He shifted his weight. “I’m asking for permission to marry Jana.”
Sam smiled and, this time, he held out his hand to Diesel. “Welcome to the family, son. You can call me Sue.”
Smiling, Diesel shook Sue’s hand. “It’s preferable over Sam. More memorable.”
“Not. Don’t care if I got it because of the Man in Black. Sue’s a shit name. Only called that by my closest friends and family.”
Diesel was almost certain his wife called him Sam. It wasn’t his business so he kept his mouth shut and turned to Jana.
Shoving away images of her, he dropped to one knee, took Jana’s hand in his and kissed the back of it. Ignoring her mother’s squeal, he met Jana’s gaze.
“Jana Reynolds, will you do me the great honor of marrying me? I swear I will spend the rest of my life honoring, cherishing, and protecting you.”
“Yes! Yes!” she cried, bouncing up and down.
It took him a moment to catch her hand and slide the ring on it.
“Oh my God, I love you so much, Diesel,” she cried as he stood and tucked some stray strands of hair behind her ear.
“Give us at least a year before the ceremony,” Amy chimed in.
Diesel frowned. “A year?”
“We’ll take extra shifts at our jobs,” Sam said. “I’m a lineman for the power company. Hurt my back, so I’d gone down to part time.”