15. Lust For Life
Lust For Life
The song drifts to an end as applause fills the room. I quickly wipe my cheek and straighten up. Yasmin finds me in the crowd.
“Elena,” she says softly. “You’re up.”
Riley gives me one last squeeze before pulling back, her eyes soft but sharp. “Kill it, queen.”
“Thanks, babe,” I exhale, stealing myself as I step toward the front of the room. Across the dance floor, Broderick’s gaze catches mine—a quiet, steady look that says without words: You’ve got this.
And I hope—for Philippa, and for me—that I do.
Jack throws me a firm double thumbs-up, and something about it makes me smile. He looks great in the tux Philippa couriered overnight.
The mic feels familiar in my hand. I’m used to this. I switch it on, summoning that false confidence I bottle up for the stage—or moments like this.
“Good evening, everyone,” I begin, my voice steady as I glance around the room.
“It’s that time of night where the Maid of Dishonor—” I pause, throwing Philippa a playful wink. “Silly me, I mean honor—graces you all with my presence.”
A ripple of laughter moves through the room, and even Philippa smiles, shaking her head like she should’ve known better.
“When Philippa asked me to be her maid of honor, I thought she’d finally cracked. Years of being perfect and poised, and that was the moment she broke.”
More laughter. Philippa rolls her eyes, but her smile widens.
“In truth, though, it’s been an honor. I could stand here and tell you all how beautiful, successful, and put-together she is…but, let’s be honest, you already know that.”
A soft murmur of agreement and chuckles hum around the room.
“So instead, I want to take a moment to talk about my Pip, my Ate, my big sister. Because unless you’ve had a sister, you’ll never truly understand what it’s like to grow up with a built-in best friend.
Oceans apart couldn’t dull that connection—from sneaking wombats into Mom’s kitchen—” laughter bursts around the room, Philippa covering her mouth to stifle it—”To corrupting you with your first taste of sweet, sweet liquor. ”
Philippa shakes her head, cheeks flushed, giggling along with everyone else.
“Endless nights of hair braiding, talking about boys…You’ve always been the best big sister, Pip. And even after all these years, you welcomed me back like no time had passed—like we’d never missed a beat. You are the glue that keeps us together.”
Philippa dabs at her eyes, chuckling through her emotions.
I take a breath, turning my attention to Andrew, smirking.
“Andrew…I never had a brother, and honestly? After meeting you, I’m glad I didn’t.”
The room erupts in laughter, and somewhere, Broderick’s deep, infectious cheer rises above the rest—hollering like a frat boy during Greek week.
“All jokes aside, Andrew, you bring out a side of Pip most people never get to see, and I can say, truly, I’m so happy she’s found her person in you.”
I raise my glass high, glancing between them.
“To the happy couple—may you have a lifetime of love, laughter, and…lots of babies, because I would love to be an auntie.”
I wink. The room laughs again, raising their glasses with me.
“To the new Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair!”
As everyone echoes the toast, Philippa wipes the last of her tears. Andrew is already moving toward me, pulling me into a huge bear hug that lifts me right off my feet.
When he sets me down, Philippa is waiting. She throws her arms around me, squeezing so tight it almost undoes me. It’s the kind of embrace you feel in your soul.
“Thank you,” she whispers in my ear. And it feels good to have done this for her—not as polite acquaintances, but as a sister who showed up and did her best. Hopefully, Mom would be proud of me for taking the right step toward fulfilling my promise to her.
I return to Riley, wrapping my arms around her.
“Was that okay?”
“Babe, more than okay,” she says, squeezing me tight.
I exhale, the weight on my shoulders finally lifting. The pressure is off.
“Kiddo, your mum would be so bloody proud.” Jack beams, pulling me into an embrace—and I feel it, how much he misses her. It radiates off every part of him.
I let go, clearing the tears from my throat.
“Damn, El.” Broderick’s voice cuts through the moment, catching my attention. “I don’t know how I’m meant to follow that.”
My eyes fly to where he stands by the stage, mic in hand. He clears his throat before taking his place behind the podium.
“Before I tell you about Andrew…can I get some noise for how absolutely beautiful Phil looks tonight?”
The crowd cheers in agreement. Riley and I clap and whoop along with them.
“Phil,” he says, turning to her. “Andrew is a lucky man. You’ve become one of my best friends since coming into his life. I’m glad I helped bring you two together, because so many wonderful things have happened since.”
His eyes sweep the room—then land on me. He holds my gaze a beat longer than necessary before returning to the happy couple.
“Beautiful and smart—you’ve got it all. You never fail to offer an encouraging word or shrewd business advice. Fussing over me like a mother hen only shows how deeply you care. I’ll say it again—Andrew is a lucky man. And I hope he knows it.”
He takes a deep breath. “I’m not really a wordsmith. I prefer action—acts of service—to show love and loyalty.”
He look towards Andrew beaming with pride.
“I think that’s why Andrew and I became fast friends—two bright-eyed freshmen ready to conquer the world.
Now, I won’t bore you with stories from college…
plus, Andrew’s parents are in the room. They’d be horrified to hear about the shenanigans their golden boy got up to after years locked up at an all male boarding school. ”
Laughter ripples through the room. The groomsmen cheer, clapping Andrew on the back. Philippa laughs politely beside him.
“Andrew always says I’m the brother he never had.
What an honor that is. He’s the kind of person who, when he’s in—he’s all in.
He took a chance on a Brooklyn boy with a scholarship, working three jobs to support himself and his family.
He shared his meal allowances. His clothes.
You name it. He’s one of the most generous people I’ve ever known—which is surprising for an only child not used to sharing his toys with anyone. ”
A soft chuckle rolls through the room.
“But he’d sooner give you the shirt off his back before he let you go cold. He’s the reason for my success. And brother…” Broderick pauses, swallowing hard. “I can’t thank you enough.”
He raises his glass. “A toast—to my best friends, on finding the kind of love everyone wishes they had.”
Jack, Riley, and I lift our glasses, clinking them together before taking a long sip.
Broderick’s speech only underscores how deeply Andrew and Philippa matter to him. It’s beautiful. It’s moving.
And it terrifies me.
They’re not just friends. Just like Riley is to me. They’re family.
And the more time I spend around him, the heavier our arrangement feels—if this were to go all wrong.
“What’s on your mind?” Riley asks, nudging me. She follows my gaze to Broderick, who’s in a back-clapping embrace with Andrew. My sister stands beside them, wiping at her tears before they sandwich her in a hug.
“Ah.” Riley smirks, the dots connecting.
I sigh, “Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Always—when I’m with you.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around me and resting her head on my shoulder as we watch Philippa and Andrew make their way to the center of the dance floor to cut the cake. They share a peck and a small bite. It’s sweet.
With quick precision, the cake is whisked away, and the master of ceremonies announces their first dance.
The band swells into “It Had to Be You” by Frank Sinatra, the singer crooning as Andrew twirls Philippa—her gown fanning out like a dream before they come together, swaying slow and close. The lights dim. Low fog curls across the floor, softening everything into something almost unreal.
Tears prick at my eyes. In that moment, she reminds me so much of Mom.
I sat curled into the corner of the couch, head tilted back, watching my mom and Jack swaying in the kitchen as Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” crackled softly through the record player.
Jack mouthed the words to her, and her entire face was lit up—eyes fixed on him, glowing with the kind of joy that felt rare and real.
It was their wedding anniversary. They had planned a small trip, something quiet and romantic, but my mom hadn’t been feeling well, so they decided on a staycation instead.
Jack made a trip to the local fishmonger, returning with fresh lobsters and oysters, determined to cook a feast fit for his queen.
“You two are so gross,” I muttered with mock disgust, though truthfully, I loved seeing them like that. I longed for a love like theirs—steady, safe, the kind that felt like it had been written into the lyrics of a timeless song.
“Oh, Anak,” my mom teased, still gazing at Jack. “You’ll have a boyfriend one day—when you’re thirty. Then I’ll say you two are so gross.”
Jack chuckled. “Not on my watch. Thirty’s far too young.”
“Maybe I already have a boyfriend,” I said casually, turning back to the journal balanced on the armrest. I let my pen move, scribbling down verses blooming with the kind of love I hadn’t yet experienced.
The truth was, I didn’t have a boyfriend.
At fifteen, I’d barely managed a first kiss—and even that had been sloppy and disappointing.
Movies and songs had really set the bar too high.
Frigid. Ice queen. That’s what the boys called me. All because I wouldn’t put out. Idiots.
I heard the soft pop of champagne being opened, followed by my mom and Jack laughing as they poured the bubbly into tall glasses.
“Can I have some?” I asked, making my way into the kitchen.
“I don’t think so, kiddo,” Jack said, voice firm.
My mom tutted at him. “It’s a celebration—let her have a little taste,” she said, handing me her glass with barely a mouthful inside.