Chapter 19
EVERLY
I come home from the lab expecting an empty flat and maybe a text from Rush. Instead I find my dad in my kitchen. He's got takeaway bags on the counter and he's looking around my small space like he's trying to figure out how I live here.
"Dad," I say, stopping in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"
"Brought dinner," he says. "Figured we should talk."
"You could have called first."
"Would you have answered?"
"Probably not."
He almost smiles. "That's what I thought."
I set my bag down and look at him, really look at him. He's out of place here in my tiny flat, too big for the space, too intimidating for the soft domesticity of my life. But he's trying. I can see it in the way he's carefully unpacking the food.
"What did you get?" I ask.
"Thai, your favorite."
The fact that he remembers makes my chest tight. I walk over and help him unpack. We work in silence for a minute.
"You've got a nice place," he says.
"It's small."
"It's yours. That's what matters."
I glance at him. "You didn't come here to talk about my apartment."
"No, I didn't."
"Then why are you here?"
He sets down the container he's holding. "Because I handled things badly at the clubhouse and I need to make it right."
The admission surprises me.
"Yeah, you did handle it badly."
"I know."
"You blindsided me, Dad. You showed up earlier than you said and went after Rush in front of everyone."
"I was protecting you."
"By humiliating the man I love?"
He flinches slightly. "I wasn't trying to humiliate him. I was trying to see if he could handle the pressure."
"Well congratulations, you scared the shit out of him."
"Good. He should be scared. You're my daughter."
I cross my arms. "That doesn't give you the right to ambush us."
"You're right, it doesn't." He runs his hand through his hair. "I should have talked to you first."
"Yeah, you should have."
We stare at each other and the tension is thick.
Finally I sigh. "Let's eat before the food gets cold."
We sit at my small kitchen table and eat in awkward silence for a while. The pad thai is good but I barely taste it. I'm too focused on my dad sitting across from me. He looks tired, older somehow, like the trip to Dublin and the confrontation with Rush took something out of him.
"How long are you staying?" I ask.
"Flying back tomorrow morning."
My stomach twists in pain. Already? "That's it? You came all this way for a few days?"
"I came to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine, Dad."
"Are you? Because from where I'm sitting, you're in love with a man who scares the hell out of me."
I set down my fork. "Rush doesn't scare me."
"He should."
"Why? Because he made a mistake when he was thirteen?"
"Because he's capable of violence and you're too stubborn to see the danger."
"I'm not blind to who Rush is. I see him clearly. And yes, he's capable of violence, but he's spent eight years learning to control it."
"Control's not the same as eliminating the threat."
"No, but it's enough. Dad, Rush is terrified of hurting me. That fear keeps him in check."
Diesel leans back in his chair. "Has he ever scared you?"
"No."
"Not even once?"
"Not even once. He's protective, not aggressive. There's a difference."
"And if that changes? If one day he loses his temper?"
"Then we'll deal with it, but I don't think that's going to happen."
"You can't know that."
"You're right, I can't. But I can trust that Rush knows himself well enough to walk away before he crosses that line."
My dad studies me for a long second. "You really love him."
"Yeah, I do."
"Why?"
I think about how to explain it. "Because he's honest about his darkness instead of pretending it doesn't exist. Because he's trying every day to be better than his worst moment. Because when he looks at me, he sees someone worth choosing and that makes me want to choose him back."
"That's not enough."
"It is for me."
We're quiet for a while, then Diesel says, "I talked to him today."
"I know. He told me."
"He told me about his father, about Ruby, about what really happened with Octavia."
"And?"
"And it doesn't excuse what he did, but it explains it."
"Does that change how you see him?"
Diesel takes a breath. "A little, yeah. He's not the same kid from the file. I can see that. He's trying to be better."
"He is better."
"Maybe, but that doesn't mean I trust him yet."
"I'm not asking you to trust him. I'm asking you to trust me."
His expression softens. "I do trust you, sweetheart. That's not the issue."
"Then what is?"
"The issue is you're my daughter and if he hurts you I'll destroy him. And I need you to understand that."
"I do understand that. But, Dad, you need to understand something too. I'm an adult and I make my own choices. You don't get to control who I love."
"I'm not trying to control you."
"Yes, you are. You flew out here to intimidate Rush, to test whether he's good enough for me. That's control."
He's quiet for a second, then he nods. "You're right, I overstepped."
The admission shocks me.
"I'm sorry," he continues. "I should have trusted your judgment instead of trying to make the decision for you."
"Thank you."
"But, Everly, I'm still your father. And if Rush ever hurts you, if you ever come to me broken because of him, I will make him pay. That's not a threat, it's a promise."
"I know."
"Good. As long as we're clear."
We finish eating and I clean up while my dad sits at the table watching me.
"This place suits you," he says.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It's independent, practical. It’s very you."
I smile despite everything. "Thanks."
"You've built a good life here."
"I'm trying."
"Your mom would be proud."
The words make my chest tight. My mom died when I was ten and my dad rarely talks about her.
"You think so?" I ask.
"I know so. She always wanted you to be strong and independent. You're both."
"I learned from the best."
He almost smiles. "I don't know about that."
"I do. You taught me to stand my ground and fight for what I want. That's what I'm doing with Rush."
"I know, and I respect that even if I don't like it."
I sit back down at the table. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah."
"When did you know Mom was it for you?"
He thinks about it. "The first time she called me on my bullshit and didn't back down. I realized she wasn't afraid of me, and that made me want to be better for her."
"That's how I feel about Rush."
"He makes you want to be better?"
"No, he makes me want to be braver. To choose what I want instead of what's safe."
Dad reaches across the table and takes my hand. "You were always brave, sweetheart. Even when you were little you never backed down from a fight."
"Wonder where I got that from."
"Your mother. Definitely your mother."
We both laugh and the tension eases.
"I'm glad you came," I say.
"Even though I ambushed you?"
"Even though you ambushed me. It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you too."
We sit there for a while just being together. No pressure, no expectations, just a father and daughter figuring out how to navigate this new dynamic.
"I should go," Dad says finally. "Got an early flight."
"Okay."
He stands up and I do too. He pulls me into a hug.
"I love you," he says quietly. "And I'm proud of you, even when you're being stubborn."
"I love you too, Dad."
He pulls back and looks at me. "Be careful with Rush, okay? I know you love him, but don't lose yourself in it."
"I won't."
"Good." He heads toward the door, then stops. "And Everly?"
"Yeah?"
"If he hurts you, you call me. Doesn't matter when or where, you call me and I'll handle it."
"I know."
He leaves and I stand there feeling steadier than I have in days.
My dad doesn't fully approve of Rush, but he's starting to accept that this is my choice.
And that's enough for now.
I'm cleaning up the last of the dishes when there's a knock on my door. I open it and Rush is standing there, looking tense.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey."
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah."
He walks inside and I close the door. He looks around like he's checking for something.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing. I just needed to see you."
"Rush, what happened?"
"Your dad was here, wasn't he?"
I blink. "How did you know?"
"Tank saw him leave your building, texted me."
"Yeah, he was here. We had dinner."
His jaw tightens. "And?"
"And it went better than expected. We talked, he apologized for ambushing us at the clubhouse."
"He apologized?"
"Yeah, shocked me too."
Rush runs his hand through his hair. "What else did he say?"
"That he's starting to see you're not the same kid from the file. That he doesn't fully trust you yet but he respects that you're trying."
"That's it?"
"He also said if you hurt me he'll destroy you, but that was pretty much a given."
Rush almost smiles. "Yeah, he made that clear when we talked earlier."
I step closer and touch his face. "You okay?"
"Yeah. I just thought maybe he came to convince you to leave me."
"He didn't. He came to make sure I'm okay and to actually listen to me for once."
"And are you—okay?"
"Yeah, I am. Are you?"
He pulls me close and buries his face in my hair. "I am now."
We stand there holding each other and I feel the tension slowly drain from his body.
"I was scared," he admits quietly.
"Of what?"
"That your dad would convince you I'm not worth it."
"Rush, my dad can't convince me of anything I don't already believe."
"And what do you believe?"
"That you're worth fighting for, that we're worth fighting for."
He pulls back and looks at me. His eyes are dark and intense.
"I love you," he says.
"I love you too."
He kisses me and it's slow and deep. His hands slide into my hair.
I make a sound against his mouth and his grip tightens.
When he pulls back we're both breathing hard.
"Stay tonight," I say.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I need you here."
"Okay."
He kisses me again and this time it's hungrier, more desperate.
I pull at his cut and he shrugs it off, lets it fall to the floor.
Then his hands are on my shirt, pulling it over my head.
I do the same with his, then run my hands over his chest and the ink on his skin.
"Bedroom," I say against his mouth.
"Yeah."
We stumble down the hall, hands everywhere, mouths fused together.
We fall onto my bed and he settles between my legs.
His weight on me is grounding, reassuring.
"You sure?" he asks.
"Yes, I need you."
"I need you too."
He reaches behind me and unhooks my bra, slides it off my shoulders.
His mouth goes to my breast and I gasp. My hands go to his hair.
He takes his time, worshipping every inch of skin until I'm squirming under him.
"Rush, please."
"Please what?"
"I need more."
His hand slides down to the button of my jeans. He undoes it and pulls them off along with my underwear.
Then he strips off his own jeans and we're both naked.
He positions himself between my legs, and I can feel how hard he is.
"You ready?" he asks.
"Yes."
He pushes inside slowly and we both groan at the feeling.
He's big and it's almost too much, but then he's fully seated and we're connected.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, you?"
"Yeah, you feel perfect."
He starts to move, slow at first, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in.
I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him deeper.
"Harder," I say.
"You sure?"
"Yes, please, I need it."
He gives me what I want, picking up the pace, driving into me with more force.
The sound of skin on skin fills the room, my moans, his breathing.
I can feel the edge getting closer, the heat building low in my belly.
"Touch yourself," he says.
I slide my hand between us and find my clit, start circling it.
"Fuck, that's it," Rush groans. "You're so beautiful like this."
His words push me closer. I'm right on the edge.
"I'm close," I gasp.
"Then come. Let me feel it."
I do, my whole body tensing as the orgasm tears through me.
Rush follows seconds later, burying himself deep as he comes.
We collapse together, both sweating and breathing hard. I trace patterns on his chest.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, you?"
"Yeah, better now."
"Good."
We're quiet for a while, then Rush says, "Your dad really apologized?"
"Yeah, he did. He admitted he overstepped and that he should have trusted my judgment."
"That must have been hard for him."
"Probably, but he did it anyway."
"Do you think he'll back off now?"
"A little, yeah. He's still going to watch you and probably threaten you again, but I think he's starting to accept that this is my choice."
"And if he doesn't?"
"Then I'll keep choosing you anyway."
Rush pulls me closer. "I don't deserve you."
"Stop saying that."
"It's true."
"No, it's not. You deserve to be loved, Rush. You deserve to be chosen."
"Even with all my baggage?"
"Especially with all your baggage, because you're honest about it instead of hiding it."
He kisses the top of my head. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For not giving up on me."
"I'm not going to give up on you."
"Promise?"
"Yeah, I promise."
We lie there in the quiet and I think about everything that's happened.
My dad showing up, confronting Rush, then coming here to apologize.
The pressure from the club, from Ciara, from everyone watching.
But right now, with Rush beside me and my dad finally starting to understand, things feel steadier.
Not perfect, not resolved.
But steady.
"What are you thinking?" Rush asks.
"That my dad hasn't fully backed off and Ciara's still a problem and the club's still watching."
"But?"
"But for tonight, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just going to be here with you."
He pulls me on top of him and I settle against his chest.
"I like that plan," he says.
"Good, because I'm not moving for the rest of the night."
"Fine by me."
I close my eyes and listen to his heartbeat, steady and strong.
The storm hasn't passed. I know that. My dad's still protective, still threatening consequences if Rush hurts me.
Ciara's still hovering, still making her moves.
The club's still watching to see if we crash and burn.
But I'm done anticipating the next fight.
I'm done worrying about what could go wrong.
Right now, in this moment, I'm choosing to be present, to enjoy the fact that Rush is here, that he chose me, that we're figuring this out together.
Everything else can wait until tomorrow. Tonight, this is enough.