Chapter 3 #2
There it was. A personal attack thinly veiled as an innocent question, meant to get a reaction out of her.
Family was a sore spot for Savi, because her parents and her brother didn’t choose this life.
They wanted no part of the media attention that came with her career, the invasive nature of journalists and the lack of respect for what they had been through.
It was bad enough when Weston had hit the big time, and they’d had camera crews trying to sneak onto the ranch to capture behind-the-scenes footage of the rodeo’s newest star.
Savi was much younger then, but she had seen the stress it had caused and how much worse it all got after his accident.
Constant headlines, rumours on social media and letters from crazed fans.
She was determined to keep them very far away from all of this, and she wasn’t going to let this one man and his cheap, tacky suit get in the way of that.
‘I don’t think I’ve abandoned my family at all.
I had a childhood dream and did exactly what you said, chased it.
They’re very supportive of my career. I’m sure the families of every driver on the grid feel the same way.
’ She resisted the urge to shrug, which was code for I win .
That was the thing; whatever negative things he had to say about her choices in life were simply untrue.
He could have an opinion, but it wasn’t fact.
‘What about your brother? Is he not jealous?’ He stared her dead in the eye, refusing to waver. Savi glanced around at her teammates who looked confused, just like every other journalist in the room, as if they hadn’t got the memo.
She would tell her team one day, but today was not that day.
It was too soon, and she didn’t know if she could trust them just yet.
While Savi clenched her jaw and tried to re-centre herself, for a split second she debated letting it all out in the open and then holding everyone hostage in the conference room until they’d signed NDAs.
Except they didn’t have time for that, and there were at least six other teams who were yet to give their own interviews.
Schmitt would come off far worse if he exposed Weston’s identity.
Savi and Wes had decided between them very early on to keep their familial connection a secret.
At first, because she didn’t want to ride his coat-tails and have opportunities handed to her as a result of his own sporting success, and then later, after his accident, because he didn’t want pity.
He had enough people feeling sorry for him, he didn’t need anyone comparing him to his kid sister who was still able to do the job she loved while he was stuck back home in Wyoming with hordes of medical bills.
‘My brother understands what it means to want something so badly that you would give up everything. He encourages me every day to live my life the way I want to while I can.’
There was more confusion radiating from her team, but when she looked over at Jasper there was an underlying sense of understanding. Recognition for the fact she was making an active choice to hold things back from him.
‘You didn’t come from money, did you? Not like your teammates here.’
‘No, I didn’t,’ she frowned. ‘But money doesn’t buy talent, and you can’t get into an industry like this, a championship as big as the IEC, without it.
’ She wanted to say more in defence of Kodie and Miko, but she didn’t want to be labelled as difficult.
She was already treading in dangerous territory and Savi was not a difficult person.
Schmitt narrowed his eyes at her, getting frustrated that his victim of the day had an answer for everything. Not only did she have years of media training, but so did her entire family. She knew all the right things to say. ‘Do you ever feel guilty?’
‘I’m sorry, for what exactly?’ she pushed, almost wishing she hadn’t. This could be it. The follow-up question that tore it all apart.
‘Your parents would have spent a lot of money on your karting lessons and travel expenses over the years. If they weren’t very well off, wouldn’t they have struggled?’
‘I got lucky. I was sponsored by someone in the industry and my lessons were free. That’s no secret, the world knows that the CEO of this championship gave me the opportunity so many kids dream of.
But my parents gave me the most important thing of all, their time and their love.
’ Savi looked over at Gabriel Lopez, her knight in shining armour and the man who got her here. He was practically bursting with pride.
‘Hmm. No more questions,’ Schmitt huffed, sitting back down.
It took a lot to shut that guy up once he got going, but despite his slight dig at her teammates, he didn’t have any more to say to them.
Probably didn’t want to contend with the potential legal issues that came with going after such a big racing team.
There were a couple of questions about Miko’s father’s investment in the team, and Kodie’s education, but they handled them well.
On the outside, at least. Most drivers were good at coming across as balanced and level-headed on the outside, in front of the cameras and the media and in situations where it mattered, while their emotions worked overtime and they were fighting constant battles on the inside.
She could see it in her teammates; there was only so much they could take from the tortoise-emblazoned moron, listening to their friends and colleagues take hit after hit and try to defend themselves and the mistakes or choices they had made.
Kodie looked particularly miffed as they got up from their seats, shuffling out of the room like the life had been sucked out of them.
‘I hate that guy,’ she muttered. ‘Just because my family has money, it doesn’t mean I can’t drive a fucking car. And I’m fast, too. Bet he drives a Fiat.’
Brett joined them as they reached the door, ‘He’s definitely a Smart Car kind of bloke. The kind who drives way below the speed limit and cries when he goes over a speed bump.’
She tried to engage, to laugh at their jokes and pretend what happened in there hadn’t bothered her at all. But the anxiety had well and truly set in, and Savi couldn’t get away from them fast enough. ‘I’ll catch you guys later, I’ve got some things I need to take care of.’
She said her goodbyes, barely giving anyone a chance to respond, and darted across the paddock, slamming the trailer door shut behind her. Her heart was beating rapidly, heat rising up through her body while she tried to stop her hands trembling.
She couldn’t stand this; the way she became detached from her body and had to claw her way back to reality.
Her chest ached and she knew she’d lost total control over herself.
This happened a lot, and it didn’t matter if she dealt with it alone or in a room full of people, it was never any less embarrassing.
To know there was nothing she could do about it made her feel weak.
Anxiety attacks, she could handle. The warning signs were there, and she had time to put a stop to them, focus on her coping mechanisms and ground herself before they took over.
But the panic attacks? She didn’t know they were coming until it was too late.
She was mid-panic attack when Kodie and Miko flung the door open, worry etched across their faces as they studied her battling her own body.
‘Savi?’ Miko knelt in front of the sofa she was perched on and placed a hand on her knee, while Kodie put an arm around her, squeezing her tight.
‘What’s up, Sav?’ Miko smoothed her hair down for her, tucking it behind her ears so it didn’t get stuck to her wet cheeks.
‘I just hate talking about my family. It’s nobody’s business.’ And yes, that did unfortunately include her teammates no matter how lovely they were. ‘I don’t know why they can’t stick to questions about the job.’
‘He was a dick,’ Miko agreed. ‘But what’s this all about?’ She gestured to the mess Savi had made of herself in the few moments that she’d managed to escape an audience.
‘I get anxiety around interviews, because of questions like that.’ She was even uncomfortable now, talking about it.
Her whole face was burning red, and the nausea was rising in her throat.
Savi didn’t do this, ever. She didn’t break down in front of near strangers but here she was, crying to her teammates before the first race had begun.
‘Have you… seen the team therapist yet? Talked about this? Maybe bring it up to Jasper, too? He can have the moderator ban questions about your family, if that’s something you aren’t willing to talk about publicly,’ Kodie suggested.
‘You can talk to us, too,’ Miko added. ‘Don’t feel obligated, but we’re your teammates. Built-in best friends, sisters. Whatever this is, you haven’t got to bottle it all up. We’re sworn to secrecy, Savi. Promise.’
‘Thanks, girls.’ She swallowed roughly and reached forward for her water bottle. ‘I just honestly don’t know that I’m ready to disclose my family issues with anyone. It’s not just my story to tell.’
‘Oh… okay.’ Kodie squeezed her shoulder, sounding somewhat disappointed. ‘Makes sense. Do you need a second, or do you just want to get up and crack on?’
‘How’s my face?’ Savi sniffed and wiped her tears away, calming her breathing down.
She didn’t want this to be her reputation in the team, she wanted to be reliable and strong and let Kodie and Miko know they could depend on her to take them to victory, that she wasn’t going to crumble. This wasn’t a good look so early on.
‘Flawless, as always,’ Miko smiled.
‘Well then, I’ll crack on. Thanks, ladies.’
Shaking herself out, she let Kodie lead the way out of the trailer, her hand not even on the door handle before it rattled, and she jumped backwards. ‘Who the f—’
‘Savannah?’ Marco’s head poked through the gap. ‘Can I have a moment alone with Savi please, girls? I fear I might have pissed her off earlier.’
Her teammates looked between his guilt-ridden face and her rosy, blotchy one and waited for her to give the go-ahead.
She nodded, with an eye roll for dramatic effect.
They hurried out and let Marco in, giving Savi about three seconds to pull herself together enough that he wouldn’t know anything had been wrong in the first place.
‘What’s up, De Luca?’ She crossed her arms, wishing she could just get a few minutes alone around here.
She’d been at the track for three days and the only time she’d had to herself was when she’d been asleep.
Even then, she’d be lying if she said Marco ignoring her for that short time after the Esme ordeal hadn’t kept her up at night.
Her own emotions were proving too much today, she wasn’t sure she could handle his, too.
‘About the buddy thing…’ He was coming across as incredibly shy and much more like the Marco she had been witness to before that night at Julien’s.
‘I get it. You don’t want to be babysat.
So, with that being said, if you want me to go to Jasper and tell him this isn’t going to work, that I have an issue with it, I will. ’
She felt awful. Yes, it would be fun to have a bit of rivalry out on track, but that was possible without making Marco feel like his help and guidance weren’t valued.
Savi still had a lot to learn, and there was a lot she didn’t know about this championship and its inner workings.
While she wasn’t the type to admit that, it wouldn’t hurt to let Marco in. A smidge.
‘One demeaning comment or mild insult and I’m kicking off.
That includes about my cowboy boots.’ She was even wearing them now.
Jasper hadn’t given them a uniform as such, just asked that they keep it work-appropriate and wear their race suits in the garage.
So of course, for press day she had paired a red Revolution Racing shirt with a white, tiered miniskirt, her red boots, and a red bow in her hair.
‘As long as you don’t start walking around in a cowboy hat too, I will keep my mouth shut and try to remember that you do sort of know what you’re doing and have been behind the wheel of a race car hundreds of times before you signed with us, and won championship titles before, even if they weren’t quite as impressive as winning the International Endurance Championship. ’
Savi bit her lip and eyed the coffee table where her trusty black hat sat waiting. She had only left it in the trailer because she’d been in a rush after Marco had irritated her earlier, otherwise it would have been firmly planted on her head for the first day of media duties.
‘I should’ve known.’ He feigned genuine disappointment, picking it up and placing it on his head. ‘Do you actually wear this, like… in public?’
‘Please take that off your head immediately.’ She snatched it back from him and blushed, memories of four summers ago coming back to haunt her.
‘Okay, sensitive about the hat. Noted.’ He smirked at her again, but in her head, Marco’s smirk was replaced with Jesse’s. The owner of said hat.
He had been wearing it the summer they met at the Sheridan County Fair and less than six hours later, she’d been wearing it on her own head while they…
she… never mind. That saying, wear the hat, ride the cowboy?
Well, that had been the start of her and Jesse’s journey.
A journey which she feared may be about to end during the most important summer of her life.
Marco De Luca was no cowboy, and he was definitely no Jesse Montalvo. That cowboy hat wasn’t his to wear.