Chapter 14 #2
“You don’t have to,” Nate murmured against his mouth, voice low and gravelly. “Tonight. If it’s too much.”
“I want to.” Jude pulled back, meeting Nate’s gaze head-on, his hand sliding down to cup the thick bulge in Nate’s jeans. “Not to forget them. I want this because you’re here, I’m here, and I need tonight to be more than just their ghosts. I want you, all the way. If you do.”
Nate’s exhale shuddered out. “I do.”
Jude shoved Nate back onto the mattress, the springs creaking under that big frame.
Nate went willingly, arms loose at his sides, looking up like Jude held every key.
Jude stripped them both, the cool air kissing their skin, Nate’s dark cock heavy and flushed against his stomach, already leaking.
The sharp scent of arousal filled the room.
Jude grabbed the lube from the nightstand, his hands trembling from the day’s weight, not fear.
“You’re sure,” Jude said, voice edged with command.
“I’m sure.” Nate’s fingers threaded gently into Jude’s hair. “You set the pace. Use me.”
Jude wanted every inch of him. He licked a stripe from Nate’s jaw down to the curve of his collarbone, savoring the salt and heat, the way Nate’s skin shivered under his tongue.
Nate’s hands settled heavy on Jude’s hips as Jude worked his way lower, biting and kissing across the slabs of Nate’s chest, the muscle flexing and relaxing, surrendering.
Nate would never say he liked to be worshipped, but his body told the truth.
He arched up for more, chased every touch, his soft gasps and muttered fucks spiking in time with Jude’s lips.
Jude tongued a bead of sweat from Nate’s nipple, then took it between his teeth, biting just hard enough to make Nate’s breath stutter.
He was greedy for the taste, for the way Nate’s stomach clenched and rolled, the taut abs cut into shadow and light as Jude traced them with his mouth.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Jude said, words blurred into skin.
“Like, unfair hot.” He kissed the line of hair leading down, hands bracing on Nate’s thick thighs.
“God,” Nate groaned, his fist twisting in the comforter. “Never thought you’d-” He stopped, voice breaking around the want in his chest.
Jude nuzzled into the dark, coarse hair trailing down Nate’s stomach, mouth wet and open, mapping every inch with slow, hungry reverence.
Nate’s cock jerked, needy, and Jude let the anticipation build, ignoring it, moving lower, until his breath ghosted hot along the seam of Nate’s balls.
He loved the way Nate trembled, the little stifled sounds in his throat.
Jude ran his tongue behind the curve of Nate’s sac, slicking the skin, savoring the musky, human taste of sweat and precome.
He licked lower, pausing at the place where thigh met ass, and pressed a kiss there, soft, then open-mouthed and biting because he couldn’t help himself.
“Fuck, Jude,” Nate said, voice strangled.
Jude edged Nate’s legs wider, hands bracing under his knees, and let himself feast. He licked up the cleft of Nate’s ass, slow at first, then firmer, tongue parting him, exploring deeper.
Nate’s breath sharpened, tight, panting, and his thighs shuddered around Jude’s head.
Jude pushed his tongue into that tight ring, worked it with small, insistent pulses, each pass loosening Nate, stroking the tension out of him.
He pulled back just enough to see. Nate’s hole was flushed, slick, perfect.
Jude thumbed it gently, watched it flutter, then bent to lick him open again, softer now, greedy for every microresponse.
The shivers running through Nate’s legs.
The little involuntary flex and release.
The way the whole big body above him was strung tight and helpless, chest heaving with each inhale.
Jude eased a finger inside, slow, mindful, watching Nate’s face for the first sign of hesitation and finding none.
Only want. That hunger laid bare. It made him reckless, made him want to mark Nate up from the inside out.
But he took his time, working another finger in, scissoring, steady pressure until Nate’s muscles relented and opened, until all the tension in his thighs melted into a single, wavering moan.
He pressed the third finger in, careful, and Nate’s hips came off the mattress just a little, chasing the pressure.
Jude felt himself grin, felt the flush running up his own neck, dizzy with need.
He crooked his fingers until he found the spot and rubbed, slow and mean, until Nate bit down hard on the heel of his own hand, sweat streaming down his temples.
“Tell me if you need-” Jude started.
Nate’s hand crushed the sheet, knuckles gone bone-white. “Don’t stop,” he managed, jaw clenched, gaze glassy with need. Jude spit into his hand and stroked his cock, the head wet and angry-red, then lined himself up, braced with a palm on Nate’s thigh.
He went slow, pressure building, the head breaching, that perfect, searing resistance.
Nate’s breath hitched, thighs flexing to lock Jude in place.
Sweat slicked Jude’s chest, every muscle trembling with restraint.
He sank in, inch by inch, until the heat closed around him, impossibly tight and so fucking right.
He paused, every nerve singing, and waited out the tremor in Nate’s chest, gauging the feel, the way Nate’s hole clenched and shuddered around him.
“Okay?” Jude rasped, fighting to keep his hips still.
“Yeah.” A ragged laugh, more like a gasp. “Give it to me.”
Jude pressed in the rest of the way, hips flush to the power in Nate’s ass, and the world narrowed to that point of contact, the slip and grind, the pulse of blood in his temples.
He rocked, slow, letting Nate open around him, setting a rhythm to match the pounding of the blood in his temples.
He was gentle at first, fucking slow, letting Nate’s body decide how much to give.
The room filled with Nate’s ragged exhales, the headboard tapping the wall, the river’s endless hush beneath it all.
Jude reached down and stroked Nate’s cock, working it in rhythm, loving how Nate’s hips lifted for more, greedy and honest, no shame in it, all the rest of the world stripped away.
“God,” Jude whispered, “I want you so bad. You feel - fuck - so fucking good.”
He thrust a little deeper, watched the way Nate’s jaw unhinged around a moan, wanted to see all of him unravel.
He leaned forward, bracing himself above Nate’s chest, his mouth open and hungry on the curve of Nate’s shoulder.
He bit, enough to sting, and felt Nate’s gut tighten against his own, the pulse shivering through both of them.
Nate’s hand came up, thumb sliding along Jude’s jaw, then grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked him in.
Their mouths crashed together, filthy and desperate, biting at the air between them more than kissing.
Jude fucked him harder, losing the thread of patience, letting the want take over.
He could feel every inch of Nateinside, the quivering heat of him, the way every muscle fought and then surrendered, Nate’s body giving in with a shudder that traveled up through Jude’s cock and into his heart.
There was no fucking way to be careful anymore.
Jude wanted him ruined, wanted to fill him up and leave him raw and shaking.
He said so, murmured it straight into Nate’s mouth, filth and fever braided with the kind of sweetness he’d never let himself say aloud until tonight.
Nate’s hand slid down, caught Jude’s ass, and dragged him in deeper, rough. “Come on,” he growled, eyes bright with tears and want. “Don’t hold back. Wreck me.”
Jude lost his mind on that. He snapped his hips faster, the slap of skin obscene, sweat stinging his eyes, the mattress rattling under them.
Nate’s cock leaked slick over Jude’s fist, so hot it felt like a burn.
Jude jacked him relentlessly, thumb circling the head, loving the desperate twist of Nate’s face as he chased the edge.
Jude kissed him hard, teeth clacking, tongues fighting for control, neither of them winning.
The air between their bodies steamed with heat, sharp and animal.
“Wanted you,” Jude spit out, words shuddering with raw want. “Always. Wanted you so fucking bad. Never stopped. Never will.”
Nate’s eyes went wide, tears slick in the corners.
He choked on a half-laugh, half-moan, so open it nearly broke Jude’s composure.
The walls, the river, the voices from his past, all of it went white with the heat between their bodies.
Jude felt the burn at the base of his spine, the surge building, and he pumped Nate’s cock harder, needing them to finish together if it killed him.
Nate bucked, the whole bed frame shuddering under his back, and Jude felt him tense, every muscle, every nerve.
Nate’s hand clutched at Jude’s shoulder, nails dimpling skin.
At the last, Jude bent and kissed him, deep and hard, and Nate came in his hand, hot pulses painting both their bellies.
The rush triggered Jude’s own release, a wild, blinding snap that left him gasping against Nate’s throat, biting down so he wouldn’t scream.
He kept moving, working them both through the aftershocks, until all that was left was the wet slide and the ache of muscles giving out.
Jude collapsed against Nate’s chest, their bodies glued together with sweat and come.
Nate’s hands trembled in tight fists, then pulled him in even closer, his cracked knuckles tracing lazy nonsense along Jude’s spine.
Jude’s head swam with the force of it. He’d fucked before, he’d even been loved before, or something wearing the right mask, but nothing in his chest had ever felt like this.
Hot and tender and mean, the ache of knowing he could demolish Nate and rebuild him in the same breath.
The power and the want of it. He nuzzled the crook of Nate’s neck, let the salt sting his tongue, and didn’t say a word for a long time.
Nate stirred first, arms gathering Jude up, rolling them until Jude’s back hit the sheets.
For a second Jude braced for a payback move, or maybe a punchline, but Nate only pressed their foreheads together, still panting, the wild thump of his heart so close Jude could feel it through the heat in his own chest.
“Next time,” Nate said, “I wanna see your face the whole time.” His voice was soft, almost embarrassed. “You make the best fucking sounds.”
Jude laughed, then clapped a hand over his mouth, half-mortified at how high and giddy it came out. “I absolutely do not.”
“You so do,” Nate laughed breathlessly.
After, Nate pulled him close, arms locking tight, no reaching for clothes or escape. Just the steady hold, the warmth seeping deeper than Rand’s cold ever had. Jude’s eyes stung, but he let the tears fall, safe in the cradle of Nate’s body.
They lay tangled as the room cooled, Jude’s head on Nate’s chest, listening to the heart slow beneath his ear. The faces remained, waiting in the dark, but for now the heat and weight of Nate’s arm anchored him. Jude drifted off, the happiest he’d known, the floor steady beneath them both.