CHAPTER SIX
Janice
T he scent of hay and leather filled the air as Janice made her way to the stables for the morning's pony trek. Her arm still hurt, but there was no way she was gonna miss this. Taking part in group activities seemed like the perfect way to prove she belonged at the ranch. And ponies? Well, ponies were her comfort zone.
On top of that, Janice wanted to get to know the other Littles a bit better. She still felt ashamed of what had happened at the art therapy session. It had seemed like a safe thing to do, like nothing could possibly go wrong with it. Obviously, she'd found a way to fuck it up.
Janice's spirits lifted as she approached the stables. This felt even safer than the art had.
"Alright, folks," Duke called out, his voice carrying across the yard. "Time to saddle up and head out!" Duke was a tough-looking guy with deep tanned skin and a few scars on his face. After the fiasco at the art therapy class, she'd apologized to Rosemary for getting so worked up, and they'd talked about the pony trek.
Apparently, Duke North had been a champion rodeo performer before settling down at the ranch. She wondered what that might be like, putting yourself in so much danger, just for the thrill of it.
Danger had never felt even remotely thrilling to her. Just scary.
A small group had gathered for the trek—Sara, Zoey, Rosemary, and a few other Littles she didn't recognize. Janice felt a flutter of excitement as she mounted her pony, her body remembering the motions like an old dance. The pony was sweet, small, and white, and Janice instantly felt comfortable in the saddle.
As they set off, the gentle clip-clop of hooves against the earth filled the air. Janice found herself riding alongside Sara, whose face was alight with joy.
"Isn't this just amazing?" Sara gushed, her eyes sparkling. "I feel so free! If it weren't for the fact that Rosemary's pony keeps pooping, I'd think I was in heaven."
"Hey!" Rosemary called out. "Ponies poop in heaven."
Janice laughed with the others. “I'm having a really nice time," she agreed, her eyes taking in the beauty of the ranch. "You know, except for the poop. The horses here are wonderful. Makes me wish I could work with these amazing creatures every day."
Sara looked thoughtfully at her. "You know, you might be able to do that. Chuck is always looking for people who can help out with the horses. Do you have much horse experience?"
"I'm practically half horse."
"Well, you should definitely talk to him."
"Really?" Janice asked, her heart leaping at the possibility.
“Sure. What kind of work would you like to do with them? You could be a riding instructor, or tend to the stables. . . .”
Janice's eyes sparkled with a mix of longing and uncertainty. She rode in silence for a moment, lost in her thoughts before she finally spoke. "I used to look after the overworked horses on my dad's ranch," she said, her voice tinged with nostalgia. "I loved seeing how my touch could soothe their muscles and help them relax. I always wanted to study how to do it properly, and be an equine physiotherapist."
Sara's eyes widened, impressed by Janice's passion. "That sounds awesome, Janice. Nobody else on the ranch does anything like that. "
A flicker of doubt crossed Janice's features. "I don't know. . . . Maybe I'd be no good at it. ’m not qualified. And I’d probably fail the exam if I tried. It’s pretty tricky, from what I hear."
Sara gave her a kind smile. "You're so hard on yourself, Janice. You know, my Daddy punishes me if I ever say anything bad about myself? 'No self-meanness,' he says.”
"I can't help it."
"You're allowed to believe in yourself. I bet you'd ace that exam."
Janice bit her lip. “Everyone here seems so . . . accomplished. They've all got their niche. Nicole with her art, and Duke leading these treks. And you've got that secret clu—"
Sara grimaced. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Eek, sorry! Anyway, what I'm saying is, I’m worried that Chuck’s not going to see the benefit of having me here.” She hesitated, then confided, "I'm only on a trial period. Chuck said he’d keep an eye on me and see how I’m getting on, but I haven’t seen him for a couple of days.”
“He’s probably watching you on a secret camera and taking notes,” said Sara, nodding solemnly.
Janice felt a jolt of ice-cold fear shoot through her veins. “Seriously?”
One of the awful things her controlling father had done back at his ranch was to keep watch over her, and she hoped it wouldn’t be like that here.
“No, silly!” said Sara, exploding into fits of giggles. “Absolutely not. Don’t worry, Chuck’s not like that. He’s a big old softy deep down. All the Daddy Doms here are. Including my Daddy, Ethan. He’s Discipline Master, but his punishments are really more of a treat, if you catch my drift.” She winked at Janice and then snickered.
Janice blushed. Her father’s punishments had been so terrible over the last few years, that she’d almost forgotten that discipline could be hot, too. And loving.
On top of that, Janice knew Ethan. She remembered him and Silas from all those years ago, when she’d dated Rusty, who was their brother. Back then, she’d had no idea Ethan was a Daddy Dom. The thought of him spanking her butt was very strange. She had always wanted to be spanked, but only really by a boyfriend. Not by an ex-boyfriend’s brother, that was for sure!
“That’s a relief about Chuck,” said Janice. “I really would like to stay here. I’m just a little worried about how it might work out with Rusty being around.”
Sara nodded. “You two were together a long time ago, right? Ethan mentioned it, but didn’t go into details. Must be strange seeing him again.”
“Right,” said Janice. “It was ten years ago. We shared so many dreams back then, and I thought he was my forever. But then he broke up with me out of the blue, and . . . well, that was that."
Sara looked at Janice with sympathy. "That must've been really hard for you," she said gently. "But this is a new chapter in your life, and you don't have to let that fear control you. You're strong, Janice, and you can make your own choices."
"Thank you, Sara," whispered Janice, touched by her friend's support. As they continued their trek, the soft rustling of the wind through the grass accompanied their journey, creating a gentle melody that seemed to lull the group into a peaceful trance.
Zoey rode at the front, her laughter ringing through the air like a tinkling bell as she chased after a particularly colorful butterfly that danced on the breeze.
The trail wound through a lush meadow dotted with vibrant wildflowers, each one a splash of color against the sea of green. Janice took a long, deep breath as she soaked it all in.
“So . . . what happened between you and Rusty?” Sara asked suddenly, pulling Janice out of her thoughts. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
Janice bit her lip. "He was my Daddy," she revealed hesitantly. "We were engaged.”
“Oh wow,” breathed Sara. “It was serious.”
“We dreamed of owning our own ranch one day, raising horses and cattle together." Janice paused, tasting the bitterness on her tongue as she prepared to say what happened next. “But then he ended things just like that." She sighed. "I still don't understand why he didn’t think I deserved an explanation. He just cut me out of his life completely."
"I'd be wary of someone if they treated me like that," Sara admitted. Sensing Janice’s sadness, she added: “But anyway, who needs grumpy old exes? Why don’t you come to the Nursery with us all after this? Have some fun! Let loose! There’s more to life than big old stinky Daddies.”
Janice smiled weakly. “Yeah. I’d like that. Thanks.”
The pony trek had been exactly what Janice needed. It had lifted her spirits and provided a sense of freedom she hadn't felt in a long time.
Janice felt torn. If Rusty hadn't been at the ranch, she might have found it easier to let go of her baggage. Even with him here, Janice was determined to make progress. Learning to interact with other Littles had to be a positive step in her journey.
Back when she and Rusty had been together, Janice had only known one or two Littles. Silas had dated a Little here or there, although Ethan had been more secretive. Now, she was surrounded by like-minded people—people who didn't feel ashamed about who they were. And that was liberating.
“Janice?” asked Sara. “Are you coming to the Nursery now?”
“Sure,” said Janice. “Although I might just walk by the horse pastures first.”
Sara nodded. “Okey-dokey. See you there!”
“See you there, Janice!” said Rosemary, giving her an over-enthusiastic wave.
Poor Rosemary still felt bad about knocking over her willow sculpture, but she didn’t need to. It had obviously been an accident. Janice felt bad about making such a big deal of it, and calling herself stupid, too. She never meant to put herself down like that. It just kind of tumbled out of her sometimes.
Janice made her way to the pastures. She walked slowly, her thoughts tangled with memories of Rusty and the words Sara had spoken earlier. “Wary” was the word Sara had used and it was a good one. Janice did need to be wary. Rusty had ghosted her ten years ago, and Daddy Doms of all people shouldn’t behave like that.
Plus, Rusty seemed to be ghosting her again now. She hadn’t heard a peep from him since they’d spoken a couple of days ago. That was typical Rusty. Act like he cared one minute then give her the cold shoulder the next. He probably regretted telling her he wanted to help her. Or maybe Chuck had told him to stay away.
As she approached the stables, she heard the gentle rumble of Rusty's voice and paused. Peering around the corner, she saw him sitting on a hay bale, reading aloud from a worn book to Snickers. Her eyes widened when she heard what he was saying.
"Cade bent down and kissed her heaving bosom," Rusty read, his voice tender as he read the steamy words.
Snickers listened intently, her ears pricked forward and eyes full of trust.
Was he reading a romance novel . . . to a horse ?
Janice's heart clenched at the sight. She had always known Rusty had a soft spot for animals, but this was ridiculous. A smile played on her lips, despite herself, but she decided not to make her presence known.
Careful not to make a sound, Janice tiptoed past the stable. She hadn’t walked past the pastures to see Rusty, after all. She had wanted to see Snickers. Ever since she’d first laid eyes on the horse, she’d known that Snickers was special. Poor thing was in a dreadful state. It had been Snickers, kicking the gate on that first night when she sneaked into the ranch. Ever since then, Janice had wanted to get some alone time with her. She had a hunch, from the way that Snickers tilted her head to one side, that the mare was suffering from neck pain, and she wanted the chance to test out her theory with a little light manual therapy.
But of course, with Rusty there, she wasn’t going to risk going near the mare.
Her stomach fluttered nervously as she continued toward the Nursery. The problem was, if Janice was going to work with the horses, she was going to have to see a lot of Rusty, as he was always with them, too. Maybe she could ask Chuck if there was any way she could work with them out-of-hours, once Rusty had finished for the day.
The moment Janice arrived at the Nursery, a kindly older woman called Nanny Clara greeted her. She had such a sweet, compassionate manner that Janice felt instantly soothed.
“Welcome, my dear,” said Nanny Clara. “You’re just in time! We’re having a painting competition! Come here and I’ll put on an apron for you.”
Janice looked around at the room full of laughing Littles, the colorful toys and games, and the atmosphere of frivolity. Suddenly, she felt very out of place.
“I’m no good at painting,” Janice said quietly. “I’m stupid at it.”
“I’m sure that’s not true, dearie,” said Nanyy Clara. “But if you don’t want to paint, I’m sure we can find you something else fun to do. We have blocks over here, a coloring-in station there, and a cozy books corner with beanbags over there if you’d like some quiet time.”
Janice’s eyes filled with tears. “I, uh, no thank you,” she said, running out of the Nursery.
It was no good. It was just so difficult to be happy these days. In the past, she’d have been right there in the center of it all, causing more mayhem than anyone else. But not anymore. She went to her room and hid under the blanket in her bed for a while, clutching her stuffie.
“Little Miss Giggles,” she said. “Will I ever feel like my old self again?”
She lay curled up with her stuffie for quite some time, until finally, her hunger got the better of her.
“I have to go to dinner, Little Miss Giggles,” she said. “I can’t hide in my room forever.”
Janice left her room and entered the dinner hall, where the lively atmosphere enveloped her like a warm embrace. The room buzzed with conversations and laughter as Daddy Doms and Littles gathered around the long, wooden tables adorned with Chef Marco's delicious creations. The scent of roasted chicken, fresh bread, and savory vegetables filled the air, making Janice's mouth water.
As she stood in line to get her food, Janice tried to focus on the array of colorful dishes before her, but her thoughts were in such a jumble, swirling around her head.
Be wary of Rusty.
You’re stupid at painting.
You upset Chuck by breaking in.
You’re worthless.
Janice picked up a tray of food, then turned around with it and instantly bumped into Rusty. Startled, she dropped a scoop of mashed potatoes onto the floor.
"Whoa there," Rusty said gently. He flashed her a reassuring smile that caused her heart to skip a beat. "It's all right, accidents happen."
"Th-thank you," Janice stammered, her cheeks turning pink as she put down a tray and hurried to clean up the mess.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she whispered under her breath.
“Janice?” asked Rusty quietly. “You don’t need to say that about yourself, you know. We all do things like that from time to time. It’s part of being a human being.”
This was the first time that she and Rusty had spoken in public since the meeting with Chuck. She glanced around the room, wondering if Chuck was in here now. If so, he might be quite angry to see the two of them together, and she couldn’t risk getting thrown out of this place.
"Looking for Chuck?" Rusty asked, noticing her searching gaze.
"Uh, yeah," she admitted, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I just thought I’d make sure, since you and I aren’t meant to be . . . you know. Talking."
"Actually," Rusty said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, "I spoke with him earlier. He said we have permission to spend some time together." He paused. “Sorry it took me a while to come and tell you that. I wanted to wait until we had Chuck’s permission, and after that, I had some business attend to with one of the horses.”
“Snickers?” asked Janice, blushing as she remembered the steamy novel he was reading to the horse.
“Yes, actually,” said Rusty. “She’s an ongoing project of mine at the moment. Didn’t realize you knew her name.”
Janice nodded. “I asked Trent about her. She’s a beautiful creature.”
Rusty’s gaze softened and he nodded. “That she is. Just needs a little TLC. She’s had a hard time lately.” He cleared his throat. “So? What do you say? Up for hanging out together?”
Janice's heart skipped a beat at the thought of spending time with Rusty. The feelings she had tried so hard to suppress threatened to bubble up to the surface once again. However, she remembered her conversation with Sara and how she had been warned about letting herself become too dependent on Rusty again.
“I guess. . . .” she said softly. "Maybe."
"Would you like to sit with me for dinner?" Rusty offered, gesturing toward two empty chairs.
Janice hesitated. As much as she longed for the familiarity of Rusty’s presence, she knew that she needed to make her own decisions and find her footing at the ranch.
"Thank you for the offer," she said softly, "but I think it would be best if we keep things strictly professional. You know, we shouldn’t try to be friends or anything."
Rusty raised an eyebrow, but there was no hint of disappointment or anger in his expression. "You don’t want to be friends?"
“It’s just that I, uh. . . .”
“It’s alright, darlin’,” said Rusty. “No need to explain. I promise you, I’m not going to try to be your friend. I know we can't be friends.”
Janice swallowed. “No. Of course not. Yuk. No way.”
"I'm thinking we can just talk. Or you can talk and I can listen. Or the other way around. Whatever works."
"Sure. That sounds . . . fine." She looked over at Sara, Zoey, and Rosemary, who had just entered the hall, their faces still smeared with paint from the Nursery. “I’m going to go and sit with those guys now.”
"Of course," Rusty replied, his voice steady but tinged with disappointment. "Enjoy your dinner, Janice."
"Thanks," she whispered, taking a deep breath before walking over to her friends' table.