CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Janice
J anice slouched in the back of the art therapy room, clutching Little Miss Giggles tightly to her chest. Paintbrushes and palettes lay scattered across the tables, but she had little interest in them today. Her mind wandered far beyond the four walls that contained her, lost in memories and dreams that felt like they belonged to another lifetime.
"Janice? Are you all right?" Nicole asked, momentarily pulling her from her reverie.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," she replied, mustering a weak smile. "Just got a lot on my mind." It was the excuse Rusty had used. Now she was using it, too.
Nicole nodded kindly. “If you don’t feel like painting today, then I can give you some stickers or a coloring book. Just let me know.”
“Thanks,” Janice said with a nod.
As her eyes drifted back to the paintings that lay unfinished on the table, she felt annoyed with herself for not being able to get into Little Space today. Work was going well, after all. She continuing with her art therapy. She was safe from her father.
So, why did she still feel so bad?
Suddenly, a hush fell over the room, so sudden and complete that it pierced through the haze surrounding Janice's thoughts. She blinked, looking up from her half-finished painting of a sunset over rolling hills. Her breath caught in her throat.
Rusty stood in the doorway.
His hazel eyes were locked on her, so intense it almost made her shudder. He wore a plaid shirt, a Stetson, and his faded blue jeans, and he looked every bit the handsome cowboy that he was.
The room remained hushed, each person waiting with bated breath for what was about to unfold.
"Janice," Rusty began, his voice nervous but determined. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and there's something I need to say."
He stepped farther into the room, never breaking eye contact with her.
Janice felt a shiver run down her spine as she watched him approach.
"Ten years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life," Rusty continued. "I hurt you. I walked away from our relationship without an explanation, and I've regretted it every day since. I thought I was protecting you—protecting both of us—but all I did was leave a void in our lives."
Janice could feel the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes but fought to keep them at bay.
"Life without you has been empty, Janice," Rusty admitted, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I've missed your laughter, your strength, and your love. I'm so sorry for the pain I caused you—then and now."
"Rusty, I. . . ." Janice stammered, her voice thick with emotion.
"Please, don't stop me," he pleaded, raising a hand to gently silence her. "I need to get this all out."
She nodded, hanging on to his every word.
“When your father told me to leave you, I lacked the self-conviction to stand up to him. I didn’t want to risk him destroying your life, so I did what I thought I had to. Truth is, Janice, I never felt good enough for you. A lowly cow wrangler, getting mixed up with the beautiful daughter of a Scottish Laird? I guess that when Angus told me I wasn’t enough for you, I believed him.”
“But it’s not true,” Janice protested.
“Back then, Janice, I thought it was. I thought I had been a fool to want to marry you, to make you into,”—he swallowed—“Janice Maguire.”
Janice blinked at him. “I hate my family name, Rusty. I hate all that it represents.”
Rusty smiled sympathetically at her. "Well, over the past ten years, I've learned a lot about myself and what truly matters in life," Rusty explained. "Love should be celebrated, not hidden away out of fear or shame. And I want nothing more than to share my life with you, to stand by your side through the good times and the bad."
All the Littles in the room gasped excitedly.
"I'm here to fight for us,” declared Rusty confidently, “for our love. I know I have a lot to make up for, but if you'll let me, I promise to be the partner you deserve—now and always. No more running away. No more messing up."
"Are you really willing to try again?" she asked hesitantly, hardly daring to believe that this could be real.
"Absolutely I am," Rusty answered without hesitation. "Life without you isn't worth living, Janice. All I want is a chance to prove my love to you. I want to be with you now and forever. You can call yourself whatever the hell you like. As long as you’re mine."
As Janice blinked away her tears, Rusty opened up a large folder and carefully laid out a series of photographs.
“I never stopped remembering you, Janice. Look. Here’s a photograph of us on our first date at an ice-cream parlor,” he said. “And here we are the day we climbed that mountain in torrential rain. And that one here—that was taken the day you got stung by a bee and—”
“And you cuddled me and watched Disney movies with me all afternoon,” Janice said, eyes shining. “I remember it, Rusty. I remember all of it. Every moment.”
“So do I,” said Rusty. “Each of these photographs is a testament to the power of healing and hope. I've been carrying these around for so long, and now . . . now I want to make more memories with you. In fact, I never want to stop making memories with you."
Rusty turned to face Janice fully, the sincerity in his gaze making her breath catch in her throat. "Janice," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. "You are my light, my hope, my home. I promise to be the partner you deserve and to stand by your side through every storm." He swallowed. “I hate the fact that we don’t have any photographs of the two of us over the last ten years. I don’t want any more gaps like that. I want to photograph the two of us together every day, for the rest of time.”
He held out a large, empty photograph album. He’d written “Rusty and Janice’s Good and Bad Times” on it.
A sob caught in Janice's throat, her heart swelling with a mixture of love and fear. Could she really trust Rusty again? Was she strong enough to face the challenges that lay ahead?
"Rusty," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I want so much to be with you . . . I want to believe you . . . but how do I know you won’t leave me again?”
“Because the truth is, Janice,” said Rusty, taking her by the hand, “I never left you. My heart has always been right there snuggled up next to yours. But I promise you now, in front of all these people, I’ll never walk away from you again. You’re my guiding light, my red-headed wonder, my Little Miss Giggle. From now on, I’ll talk to you about everything that’s going on in my head. I won’t make decisions for you. I won’t be intimidated by your father. I’ll be your rock, darlin’. For as long as you want me.”
As his words washed over her, Janice felt a fire ignite within her soul. These are the words she’d been waiting for Rusty to say to her all along. If only he’d said them ten years ago. To think how much heartache they could have avoided. . . .
"Okay," she whispered, “Let’s give it a try.”
Rusty face broke into a broad grin, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “Sweetheart,” he said, “you just made me the happiest man in the whole damn world.”
He reached out a hand to her, and she took it without hesitation, feeling the familiar roughness of his calloused fingers against her own.
"Rusty," she said, "thank you. Thank you for believing in us, for fighting for us."
"Janice," he replied, his voice filled with love and conviction, "we can get through anything, as long as we have each other. I promise you—from this moment on, I will stand by you, no matter what. And I'm going to do everything I can to make life for you even more exciting than it would be as a Laird."
As they held onto one another, the room seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, their shared past, and the hope for a brighter future.
He bent down to kiss her, and she tasted so good—of all the delicious times that were to come.
All the Littles in the room erupted into wild applause and laughter and Janice giggled too.
“Now, let’s go outside,” Rusty told her. “I have one more little surprise for you.”
Rusty led her out onto the grounds of the ranch, and Janice gasped when she saw the horses.
Midnight was there, saddled up. And so was Snickers.
“Snickers!” she gasped. “She let you put a saddle on her.”
“Janice,” he said, “I always wanted to ride off into the sunset with you. Would you do me the honor?”
Janice laughed. “Ride off into the sunset? Where are we going?”
“To our new home, sweetheart. My cabin.”
Janice looked into Rusty's hazel eyes, feeling a warmth that she had thought long lost. Her heart fluttered. “I’d love to.”
Rusty pulled Janice close, his rugged face softening as he gazed deeply into her eyes. "Janice," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, "you have no idea how much it means to me that you're willing to give us another chance. I promise you, I'll never take it for granted."
Tears shimmered in Janice's eyes, but she blinked them back, determined to focus on the happiness of the moment. "I think I can trust you, Rusty," she whispered, her voice steady. "We've both made mistakes, but that doesn't mean we can't learn from them and build something even more beautiful together."
"Ready for our ride into the sunset?" Rusty asked, his voice thick with emotion.
"More than ready," Janice replied, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Will Snickers be okay with it?”
“Why don’t you see?” Rusty asked.
Janice approached the beautiful earth-colored mare, and she looked closer at the shiny new saddle she was wearing. It was made of red leather, and it had Janice’s name etched into it in beautiful lettering.
“Snickers is yours now,” Rusty told her. “Thought it was only right that we get your name on the saddle.”
"This is so amazing, Rusty. I can't believe you did this."
As Rusty helped her onto Snickers, Janice felt a thrill course through her body. Snickers trusted her. And she trusted Snickers. Given time, she would learn to fully trust Rusty, too. She would just have to take it one day at a time.
"Feels like coming home, doesn't it?" Rusty asked, expertly reading her thoughts.
"It does," she agreed softly, her heart swelling with gratitude and affection. "Thank you, Rusty."
They set off at a leisurely pace, the horses' hooves crunching softly on the trail beneath them. Janice breathed in the fresh air, the scent of wildflowers and sagebrush filling her senses.
"Wait, where are we going?" she asked. “Your cabin is that way.”
"We’re making a detour," Rusty answered cryptically, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You'll see."