Chapter 3 - Tara
I take the direct path home. No enjoying the scenery, or loitering around, or thinking about how beautiful the valley is.
I need to get home.
I’m trying to control my breathing, which is causing my chest to rise and fall at an alarming rate. I’m breathing so fast, it’s like I’ve forgotten how to breathe, and so I look up at the sky and will myself to calm down.
Just get to your cabin, I tell myself, then you’ll be safe. But it’s not my physical safety I’m worried about—it’s all the chaotic thoughts swirling around my head.
His lips, the way he felt, the way I had absolutely zero control! Who let him kiss me like that? Who gave him the right?
You did, Tara, you did. Then you completely went along with everything he said.
But what was I supposed to do?
I look behind me to make sure he’s not following. There are a couple of shifters not too far behind, luckily, no signs of Jasper anywhere.
I keep moving, like the soldier I am, and try to pretend like nothing has happened.
Once I’m finally back in my cabin, I slam the door shut and lock it—as if that’ll do anything to stop a shifter—but still, psychologically, it helps. Then, I head straight to the shower.
I ignore the mirror beside me, ashamed that I let him take my body like that.
I undress and get in the shower, letting the hot water spill down my back. It’s here, beneath the comfort of the hot water and in the safety of my home, that everything comes out.
A singular tear streams down my face, and I bring my shaking hand to my mouth.
How could I let the man who rejected me so harshly kiss me just now?
How could I?
I weep, my tears pouring out uncontrollably, intermingling with the hot water before swirling down the drain. My breath gets short again, and I start to remember everything I’ve been trying so hard to forget.
The sound of the water is slowly replaced by the rhythmic pulse of electronic music, and I recall the finest details, down to the purple lighting in the bar.
“Tara, don’t be silly, I’m not leaving you here alone,” Lacey said, trying her best to smile, but I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was done. She was going through more than she ever wanted to let on, and hiding her emotions was just her way.
I placed my hand on top of hers. “I can tell that you’re exhausted. Going out is supposed to be fun, and if you’re not feeling it, that’s completely fine. I want you to be comfortable.”
She shook her head and then looked around hesitantly at the bar filled with shifters. All of them, we both knew, had the ability to snap my neck in seconds should they so want to. As much as I wanted to stay, the risk of being a human there alone was too big.
“I promise we’ll go out another night, together,” Lacey said with a wounded smile.
I nodded. “It’s no big deal, really.”
The truth was, I’d been looking forward to getting out of my shitty town all week. Every time I met with Lacey and entered the alternative reality of the supernatural world, I felt alive. I felt like I could finally be myself.
It’s hard to explain.
But Lacey’s well-being came first, of course, and I knew we’d have a chance to go out to a supernatural bar again.
“Come on,” I said. “I’m walking you back.”
“Oh, you’re walking me?” She laughed.
“Yup.”
Once I walked Lacey as close to her pack as I could go without getting noticed by one of their guards, I gave her a tight squeeze and bid her goodbye.
“Are you good getting back alone?”
“Of course,” I said.
I wasn’t scared; I don’t know why. Maybe I should have been, but the supernatural part of the valley felt like home. Even then. It was like being immersed in one of my storybooks, but in a whole new way.
As I walked, two paths lay before me, one leading to my car and the other to my crappy, empty human town. The other one that led to the bar filled with shifter werewolves.
A nagging voice urged me. So what if you get one more drink? What else are you going to do? Sulk at home by yourself?
Already a little tipsy, I didn’t want to think. I just moved. Before I knew it, my legs were taking me back toward the thumping music, the neon lights, and the building full of wolves.
I entered the place with confidence, holding my head high, and took a seat at the bar.
“One glass of the house red.”
I hardly even recognized the self-assured confidence in my tone. I was no longer Tara, a tragic loner human with zero purpose in life; I was a confident heroine living in a supernatural world. Special and unique.
Once I got my glass, the bartender busied himself, and when he returned, he told me my card wasn’t needed. That my drink was already taken care of.
I was confused at first. Did Lacey somehow know I’d come back here? But then I followed his gaze along the bar to where it stopped on the most incredible man I’d ever seen.
Correction, shifter—of course.
Blonde hair, blue-gray eyes that somehow sharpened beneath the neon lights. I held my breath, my stomach tightening as I watched his gaze rake over me.
This, I thought, is the kind of guy I think of when I imagine a supernatural werewolf or a hero in a storybook. He’s enormous, towering above the bar with muscles as defined as boulders.
The jocks at my high school have nothing on him.
I smiled, shyly, and then my cheeks flushed as I looked the other way.
He’s making fun of me, I thought, he has to be. No guy like that would be interested in a girl, a human, like me.
All the other shifters in the bar were so beautiful, like supermodels. I’m short, I have fat deposits in places where magazine covers tell me they shouldn’t be.
I turned my head to check whether he was still looking, sipping my drink as I did so, but I saw he was gone.
My stomach sank.
Then I felt a wave of nerves. Maybe Lacey was right, maybe I shouldn’t under any circumstances be here alone.
Just as I was about to get up, I felt a presence behind me. Then he was at the bar beside me, his moonstone eyes staring into my soul.
God, was all I could think of, he’s even more beautiful up close. Mid-sip, I choked on the remnants of trickling wine that found its way down the wrong side of my throat.
Whooping cough after cough expelled itself uncontrollably from my chest; somehow, the music sounded quieter, and somehow, my fumbling, tragic humanity got that much louder.
My throat felt raw and dry.
Oh my, this is so embarrassing.
“A glass of water,” he commanded the bartender, not taking his eyes off of me.
“You don’t have to do that,” I said. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine.”
He smiled, the sides of his face creasing as his eyes dazzled in such a way that made me feel like the only person in the bar. The only person in the world.
My chest fluttered.
“You don’t seem fine.”
The bartender came back with the water and I downed it quickly. Almost too quick. I had to remind myself to slow the hell down, but this shifter was making me more nervous than usual.
I don’t want him to ever stop looking at me like that.
“Yes,” I said. “It’s just you came up on me quickly, I wasn’t expecting it, so you combine that with drinking a sip of wine, and you know, coughing disaster, so.”
Words felt like jelly, awkwardly wobbling around my mouth more than they ever had before.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, but moving quickly is par for the course around here. You do realize where you are, don’t you?”
“I do,” I whispered. “Everyone in here is so beautiful.”
Maybe the alcohol was getting to my head, but for some reason, I felt uninhibited enough to speak my exact thoughts. Something that usually didn’t happen, especially not with strangers and especially not with otherworldly attractive strangers like him.
He was silent for a beat. Then he spoke.
“Beautiful, maybe, but boring. Unlike you.”
I swallowed a knot forming in the back of my throat, and my body started to feel as though it had been set on fire.
“You don’t know me,” I said.
“No,” he responded, keeping a respectful distance from me, which I wished he’d close. “No, I don’t, but I’d like to.”
This has to be a trick I told myself; he has to be playing me. I should leave or text Lacey, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to.
I shrugged, a burst of flirtatious confidence coming from somewhere. “I’m just a human,” I sighed. “Just a boring old human who likes books, arts and crafts, works a minimum wage job, and has no family and very few friends. Now you know me.”
He paused, studying something on my face so intently that at first, I thought there might be a stain on there. Some food, or wine perhaps.
“I like you,” he confessed, casually.
I took a gulp of my wine, carefully this time, put it down, and then looked him daringly in the eye. “Why?” I questioned, “Because I’m not like one of you, I’m not perfect or special, and that’s what novel? Mildly entertaining?”
He leaned forward, amused by my self-protective sassiness, and then completely serious. “Because you’re the most beautiful, interesting creature I’ve ever seen.”
My chest froze momentarily before tingling with nerves. Then my cheeks burned, and the space between my legs warmed with an insatiable hunger.
What the hell is going on with me?
Whatever sassy response I was going to muster remained glued to the back of my throat. How can I even think about words when he’s looking at me like that?
The most beautiful, interesting creature I’ve ever seen.
The phrase rang through my head.
“Do you want to play pool?” He asked me.
“What?” I responded, breathless.
“Pool, I believe humans play it too, no?”
“Yes,” I said, recalling that there was a world of humans who existed outside of this. The noises of the bar around us, the music, and the chattering, once quiet, found their way back into the room again.
“So do you want to play?”
I nodded. Unable to speak.
“Bring your water,” he said, tapping the plastic cup, before standing and leading me to the pool table in the corner.
As he approached it, he didn’t even need to say anything for all the other shifters to clear out the way.
There’s no doubt about it, I thought, this man is an Alpha, Lacey had told me about them. An Alpha is interested in me.
“What’s your name, beautiful?” He asked while fixing the pool table.
“Tara,” I said. “And yours?”
“Jasper. How good are you at pool?”
After another round of drinks, three games of pool, one of them I’m pretty sure he let me win, we were all over one another behind the bar.
I’d never been touched by anyone the way he touched me. I’d never felt so comfortable with another being, let alone with someone like him.
Jasper took me up to a hotel room and gave me a night full of the greatest pleasure—and when the sun came up, I gazed upon his face, head over heels, having completely fallen for him.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, once he woke up. “I have work today, but I’ll give you my number and we can see each other again.”
From the look on his face, I should have known what was going to come next. He told me that the night we spent together meant nothing, that it was just a pastime and he’d never actually pursue something real with a lowly human like me.
Ever since then, he’s treated me like crap.
Like the night we shared never happened, and anytime he saw me, he made sure to throw me a small dig.
Maybe I should have told Lacey, but I was too ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know, and I didn’t want my mistake to ruin my chances of living in the supernatural world.
I turn off the shower head, get out, and wrap a towel around my reddened body.
But why would he kiss me like that? Tell Penelope that he’s with me?
I thought he was ashamed!
I walk into my bedroom and sit at the edge of my bed with my head sunk into my hands. I don’t want to think anymore, I just want to sleep.
***
The next day, I wake up with damp hair and a sinking feeling in my chest. It suddenly becomes so clear to me.
Jasper kissing me like that was just another one of his sadistic bullying tactics.
“That asshole,” I hiss to my sun-lit ceiling.
He’s trying to tease me, trying to push me so hard that I’ll leave. But it’s not going to work. Just because he’s a prejudiced asshole doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up my new home, the one thing that’s made me feel like I finally have a place in this world.
“I hate him,” I murmur, thinking back to the way that I completely collapsed into his arms when he kissed me.
“I hate him!” I yell.
Then suddenly, I hear three loud knocks coming from my cabin’s door.
My chest jumps a little at first, but then I feel relieved. Lacey! This is perfect, I need whatever distraction I can get. I jump up and pull a baggy tee over my head, sliding into a pair of old track pants.
I’m coming, Lacey.
Maybe we can go to that bookstore I’ve been trying to get to near the outskirts of Roseville. I’d love to read some more witchy things.
I rush downstairs, filled with newfound hope, and I’m damn near skipping.
I swing the door wide open, and-
Oh.
Jasper is standing there, face masked with a determined expression. I exhale a slow, disappointed breath.
You’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me.